One
Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a far away land, there lived a monkey named Timon and an elephant named David. They were on a quest to get chicken nuggets from Burger King.
They wanted chicken nuggets from Chik-Fil-A, but it was on a Sunday so they couldn't go.
"Why do we care about the day of God?" Asked Timon. "I am an atheist."
"And I'm a terrorist," said David. "We all have to wear different hats on Sundays."
They soon started to sing a random song about anarchy, and how they were excited about it.
And then the dreaded evil Musafa came from the elephant pride, and wanted to kill a good brother, Mier. Mier was the guardian of a sacred spacecraft known only as 'Pride L4nd' and Musafa knew that he had chicken nuggets.
"And then they..."
"I'm gonna eat whatever's lion around"
It was a terrible pun.
Shit.
Out of nowhere, the fabulous Maria Reynolds walked into the pride lands and said, "STAAAAAAY."
She attempted to seduce Timon, but he was an atheist. He had magical atheist powers, and could repel women.
"GO SEDUCE SOMEONE IN ANOTHER MUSICAL!" Timon shouted, shooting a sparkle beam from his magical hand.
Maria moved on to Heathers, planning on seducing Heather Chandler.
*Elsewhere in the magical world of this fanfiction*
President Obama: This world is a beautiful place. Look at it all. To the northern regions lays the school of Hogwarts, all of Shakespeare’s characters, and a giant giraffe. To the south, the twelve districts and the capital of Panem. All around us are beautiful places, and I have the ability to rule it all as a benevolent king.
Talking Banana: Yes, but there is unrest. A spacecraft by the name of the Pride L4nd has just landed in the desert regions, near the sun-baked plains of Africa. What shall we do about it?
President Obama: Never fear, oh loyal banana. All will be well in this life, and the next.
Talking Banana: Wha- what do you mean?
President Obama: *Pulls out pistol*
Talking Banana: Sir?
President Obama: It is essential that we go into the next life pure. I don't want you to worry about anything anymore, oh loyal banana. You have served me well. Await me in the afterlife, and I shall join you soon enough. We are all the same in death.
*President Obama shoots Talking Banana*
President Obama: wecanalllearnscience.jpeg
What was to become of Obama, and the Pride L4nd, and the Lions? What of Timon and David? Maria? Heather Chandler? Worry not, oh dear reader, for thir story has a hero...