Sometimes You Just Really Need A Sense Of Humor (And It Shows)

Life as a Nukenin - JKblue

I have probably lost a few of these somewhere along the way but here's hypothetically all of the ones from this fic as of chapter 45

Team seven: "there's no way joining Kakashi's training will be a bite us in the ass".

Kakashi, moderately evil but in a "this is how I show my love because trauma and child soldier reasons": "... Sure"

--

Team 7: In no way is this a threat, BUT, we have declared it to officially be Time To Fuck Shit Up!!

Everyone else: Why am I hearing boss music

--

Hiruzen, also waking up in the dead of night, eyes bloodshot, exhaustion seeping into his core: "I am absolutely certain someone Minato, and/or Kushina acquainted just did something I don't want to know about, and yet, will probably be reliably informed of quite soon."

Hiruzen: "I could quit, I could retire, it would be fine, I could do it, the option is right there, I don't have to put up with this... No, I'm already too committed at this point."

--

Hiruzen, smiling absently, certain he's going to regret this, to team 7: "did Kakashi, tell you directly, to fuck shit up?"

Team seven, in the most suspicious manner possible: ".........................No......"

Team Seven: "*whispers* technically he said it to a tree."

Hiruzen, internally so the kids can keep their allusion of privacy: "God fucking damn it, I knew it."

--

Hiruzen: *Squints at his other jounin and talks loudly, ya'know the way adults do when they want to make a point that's super passive-aggressive? Yeah, that one* "I can't believe a Missing Nin fills paperwork out better than my own shinobi.

Shinobi Corps: *Sweats and looks away*

--

Iruka *glaring at the Hokage and his several piles or paperwork*: "Yeah It Sure Would Be Nice If People Did Their Paperwork Correctly And On Time Wouldn't It Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen: *sweats*

--

Kakashi: "You know who I haven't fucked with yet that was highly responsible for the fucking up of my children?"

The person highly responsible for the fucking up of Kakadhi's children, part 1: *sweats*

--

Rasa: "so I had an idea of inviting Kakashi over for-" *feels sand near his neck* "uuhmmm Dinner! And w-we could" *watches Kankuro Pointedly drink pure poison and be fine* "um, I'll even eat first I just to make sure it's not poisoned cause I would never want that, and then after I can talk to Kakaalo-alo-" *doesn't see Temari move but its pretty sure he has a new bald patch somewhere on the back of his head"With you guys about a new training regime!! Haha"

--

Baki *collects money from several Anbu who thought that not only would Kakashi not kidnap the children but that he'd get caught if he did* "I don't know what about that guy seems like he wouldn't do that, like, his whole entire thing is Hmm, How Can I Be A Bitch Today? That's literally his WHOLE personality guys."

--

Rasa: "I'm gonna traumatize the shit out of my children! On purpose this time!"

Kakashi: "For No Reason At All, I am going to direct my need to help, mother, and adopt children at my favorite of Naruto's friends" *he says in his Now How Can I Inconvenience Everyone At Once voice*

--

Kakashi: *exists*

Iruka: "I am genuinely so scared for my life right now

Also, Kakashi: *Vaguely begins to think of jokingly hypothetically in an alternate universe of harming Naruto* "Why do I hear boss music?"

Iruka: *Glares in parent*

Some Guys From A Future - Dream_En

Me: Shinji/Ichigo just isn't my thing so I guess I'll skip 😔

Me: *reads tag "Aizen is not having a good time :)"*

Me: Exceptions must be made