Harry is a menace and everyone is paying the price [DISCONTINUED]: Chapter 5, harry potter - j. k. rowling fanfic

Daddy_Seyton

Characters

Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans Potter, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Lucius Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Luna Lovegood, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Theodore Nott, Tom Riddle/Severus Snape, Peter Pettigrew/These MFing hands

Tags

The Author Regrets Everything Slytherin Harry Potter The Author Regrets Nothing anyway Nobody is Dead Everyone Is Alive Remus Lupin is So Done Sassy Harry Potter Heir of Slytherin Harry Potter Severus Snape is So Done Draco Malfoy & Ron Weasley Friendship Draco Malfoy is So Done Theodore Nott is a little shit Short Harry Potter this is shit SIKE Because I need my chaotic twin duo in my life Tom is alive and is a rude bitch Voldy & Snape are married to fuel my many crackhead ideas I am so sorry but at the same time I'm lying Harry Potter is a little bitch Harry Potter is his father's son peace was never an option James & Sirius make me want to cry Blaise Zabini Flirts Sassy Ron Weasley Hermione thinks she's better than everyone and she's right Luna Lovegood is an angel Lucius Malfoy is a drama queen Everyone collectively bullies Peter Even Voldy Narcissa is two seconds from drowning Lucius Harry is a menace Severus is the wine aunt Crackhead Golden Trio The Golden Trio are bottoms Sassy Bratty Bottoms The twins wreak havoc Rude Bitch runs in the Potter family "I should have swallowed" Lily J. Potter at some point "You should have swallowed" Draco L. Malfoy to Narcissa at some point Tom is the crackhead uncle who gives you twenty bucks if you can hold your breath for thirty minutes

Summary

I already have a MHA chatfic so I thought "Why the fuck not?"

Note

I have zero regrets but at the same time I wanna German Suplex myself off a bridge

Chapter 5

April 21, 2025 at 11:47 AM

GoldenBitch: Hello mother dearest

Tired: I'm not answering to that

GoldenBitch: Mother Superior

Tired: No.

GoldenBitch: Offspring incubator

Tired: The hell? No.

GoldenBitch: Maternal birthing unit

Tired: No, Potter.

GoldenBitch: Birth giver

Tired: I did not give birth to you Potter

Tired: Go to your mother with your nonsense

GoldenBitch: Well I'm trying but you locked me out

Tired: Not me.

GoldenBitch: Then I have no idea what you mean

Tired: Dear Merlin

Tired: Lily please help me

Baddie: Can't

Baddie: He demoted me to godmother

Baddie: So can't. Love to, but can't.

Tired: Sometimes, I really hate being friends with you.

Baddie: Fair enough
____________________________________________

MamaBear: Though he may not want to admit it, motherhood suits Severus.

Pothead: I didn't know your cousin could tell jokes Padfoot

Woof: I didn't either

TheHair: Respect my wife, you little shits. :)

SnakeDick: Respect my mother, you bastards. :)

Woof: Oh no the Malfoy clan is upset with us

Pothead: Whatever will we do?

Baddie: Respect Cissa, you filthy animals. :)

Woof: Yes ma'am

Pothead: Yes ma'am

Baddie: Now Cissa what were you saying?

MamaBear: Thank you, Lily.

MamaBear: I was saying that Severus, albeit surprising, makes an excellent mother.

MamaBear: He's been much more gentle with Harry this past month. Sweeter too.

Pothead: Now that's bullshit

Baddie: Are you saying our Sevvy is incapable of being a good mother? :)

Pothead: That's exactly what I'm saying

GoldenBoy: He's doing a better job than you

Pothead: :0

Pothead: You wound me, my son

GoldenBoy: Good

GoldenBoy: Now bleed

Tired: As much as I hate him, you still must respect your elders, Harry.

Tired: Even if they are a few feathers short of a hippogriff

GoldenBoy: Yes mum

Seventh Year Crackheads

GoldenBoy: HE CALLED ME HARRY

GoldenBoy: One step closer to having my potion master mother

Buttercup: Good for you Golden Shower

Buttercup: But no one cares

GoldenBoy: Pansy, if you call me that again, I will burn your house down and make you watch as the only home you've ever known crumbles to the ground.

LoyalHoe: ...

Bookworm: ...

SnakeDick: ...

Griffinboy: ...

Buttercup: ...

NottFunny: ...

SexOnLegs: Hot

LoyalHoe: Blaise could ya maybe don't???

SexOnLegs: Fair