Harry is a menace and everyone is paying the price [DISCONTINUED]: Chapter 4, harry potter - j. k. rowling fanfic

Daddy_Seyton

Characters

Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans Potter, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Lucius Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Luna Lovegood, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Theodore Nott, Tom Riddle/Severus Snape, Peter Pettigrew/These MFing hands

Tags

The Author Regrets Everything Slytherin Harry Potter The Author Regrets Nothing anyway Nobody is Dead Everyone Is Alive Remus Lupin is So Done Sassy Harry Potter Heir of Slytherin Harry Potter Severus Snape is So Done Draco Malfoy & Ron Weasley Friendship Draco Malfoy is So Done Theodore Nott is a little shit Short Harry Potter this is shit SIKE Because I need my chaotic twin duo in my life Tom is alive and is a rude bitch Voldy & Snape are married to fuel my many crackhead ideas I am so sorry but at the same time I'm lying Harry Potter is a little bitch Harry Potter is his father's son peace was never an option James & Sirius make me want to cry Blaise Zabini Flirts Sassy Ron Weasley Hermione thinks she's better than everyone and she's right Luna Lovegood is an angel Lucius Malfoy is a drama queen Everyone collectively bullies Peter Even Voldy Narcissa is two seconds from drowning Lucius Harry is a menace Severus is the wine aunt Crackhead Golden Trio The Golden Trio are bottoms Sassy Bratty Bottoms The twins wreak havoc Rude Bitch runs in the Potter family "I should have swallowed" Lily J. Potter at some point "You should have swallowed" Draco L. Malfoy to Narcissa at some point Tom is the crackhead uncle who gives you twenty bucks if you can hold your breath for thirty minutes

Summary

I already have a MHA chatfic so I thought "Why the fuck not?"

Note

I have zero regrets but at the same time I wanna German Suplex myself off a bridge

Chapter 4

April 21, 2025 at 12:11 AM

Tired: Sirius Orion Black you bloody mutt

Woof: The fuck do you want Snivellus??

Tired: I know you touched my Holiday Blancmange you dimwitted dog

Tired: Potter keep your mutt where he belongs or I'll have a new rug

Pothead: Oh no I'm so scared

Pothead: Someone save me from old Snivellus

Tired: I don't believe I was talking to you

Pothead: Well I'm the only Potter here so you must be talking to me

Baddie: ....

GoldenBitch: ....

Pothead: Oh hello Lily, Harry

Pothead: When'd you get here??

Ratty: Oooo James is in trouble

GoldenBitch: Shut up rat

Baddie: Oh and he's right

GoldenBitch: He is the only Potter in the chat now

Pothead: Wha-

TheHair is online

TheHair: I sensed tension and came as fast as I could.

Woof: I smell a divorce approaching fast

Slytherfuck: This should be interesting

GoldenBitch: I'm claiming Tom as my dad now

Slytherfuck: I take it back

Pothead: I beg your pardon

GoldenBitch: Beg then

Pothead: I-

Pothead: Lily you two can't be serious

Baddie: No he's Sirius

Woof: Hi

Baddie: I'm Evans

Pothead: So what, you two are leaving me for Voldy Moldy????

Baddie: Of course not

Pothead: Oh thank-

Baddie: I'd never do that to Severus

Tired: Okay 1

Tired: Bullshit

Tired: 2

Tired: The betrayal

Buttercup: Excuse me wut????

NottFunny: Professor Snape is boning The Dark Lord???

SexOnLegs: And I thought my sexual endeavors were strange

GoldenBitch: Boning doesn't even begin to cover half of it

Tired: Potter don't you dare

GoldenBitch: I'm Riddle now so your authority over me is gone

GoldenBitch: They're married

NottFunny: I-

Buttercup: Excuse me???

SexOnLegs: Less surprising than the boning

MoonBoy: How did you ever know that??

GoldenBitch: I mean It's not hard to notice Tom flirting with my teacher while trying to kill me

Slytherfuck: I was not flirting

TheHair: Forgive my Lord but you were

SnakeDick: 100% flirting

Tired: Tom that was flirting don't lie

SexOnLegs: Exposed by the wife

Tired: I will flunk you

SexOnLegs: Noted

GoldenBitch: Anyway, I am officially saying fuck being Harry Potter

GoldenBitch: I have adopted myself into being Tom's son

GoldenBitch: Snape you're my mum now

GoldenBitch: Suck it up

Pothead: Slow down I'm still trying to process the fact that I've been divorced and disowned in the span of 7 minutes

Woof: Welcome to my life

Tired: I'm still going to kill you

Woof: Noted