Harry is a menace and everyone is paying the price [DISCONTINUED]: Chapter 3, harry potter - j. k. rowling fanfic

Daddy_Seyton

Characters

Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans Potter, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Lucius Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Luna Lovegood, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Theodore Nott, Tom Riddle/Severus Snape, Peter Pettigrew/These MFing hands

Tags

The Author Regrets Everything Slytherin Harry Potter The Author Regrets Nothing anyway Nobody is Dead Everyone Is Alive Remus Lupin is So Done Sassy Harry Potter Heir of Slytherin Harry Potter Severus Snape is So Done Draco Malfoy & Ron Weasley Friendship Draco Malfoy is So Done Theodore Nott is a little shit Short Harry Potter this is shit SIKE Because I need my chaotic twin duo in my life Tom is alive and is a rude bitch Voldy & Snape are married to fuel my many crackhead ideas I am so sorry but at the same time I'm lying Harry Potter is a little bitch Harry Potter is his father's son peace was never an option James & Sirius make me want to cry Blaise Zabini Flirts Sassy Ron Weasley Hermione thinks she's better than everyone and she's right Luna Lovegood is an angel Lucius Malfoy is a drama queen Everyone collectively bullies Peter Even Voldy Narcissa is two seconds from drowning Lucius Harry is a menace Severus is the wine aunt Crackhead Golden Trio The Golden Trio are bottoms Sassy Bratty Bottoms The twins wreak havoc Rude Bitch runs in the Potter family "I should have swallowed" Lily J. Potter at some point "You should have swallowed" Draco L. Malfoy to Narcissa at some point Tom is the crackhead uncle who gives you twenty bucks if you can hold your breath for thirty minutes

Summary

I already have a MHA chatfic so I thought "Why the fuck not?"

Note

I have zero regrets but at the same time I wanna German Suplex myself off a bridge

Chapter 3

April 21, 2025 at 12:05 AM

TheHair: Narcissa, darling, I'm disowning our child.

SnakeDick: Wtf why??

MamaBear: May I ask why?

TheHair: Little shit used my hairbrush.

SnakeDick: Tf? No, I didn't.

SnakeDick: I have my own.

TheHair: Oh yeah? Then who's blonde hair is this in my brush???

SnakeDick: Oh, I don't know, maybe yours?

TheHair: Why would my-

TheHair: ...

TheHair: Wait...

SnakeDick: ...

SnakeDick: Mother, I'm disowning father.

MamaBear: I understand completely.

TheHair: Never in my life have I ever been so insulted.

GoldenBitch: Hi how are ya :)

TheHair: ...

TheHair: This is the second time in my life that I've ever felt so insulted.

GoldenBitch: Glad you've seen the light :)

TheHair: Dear, this small child is attacking me.

GoldenBitch: You haven't seen attacking yet :)

___________________________________________________________________

Angel: Harry's cooking

SnakeDick: Any chance that’s for me?

GoldenBitch: It’s for Ron. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Bookworm: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

GoldenBitch: You think I made it this far with just luck?

Bookwork: Yes?

GoldenBitch: Well you'd be correct

GoldenBitch: BUT

GoldenBitch: I also prepare for any stupidity and/or tomfuckery that might happen with more absolute bullshit

SnakeDick: Why do I feel like that's the only reason you've survived this long?

GoldenBitch: You'd be correct

Bookworm: That explains the past six years

_____________________________________________________________________

GoldenBitch: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake?

GoldenBitch: One

GoldenBitch: Two

GoldenBitch: Three

GoldenBitch: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks

SnakeDick: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks

Bookworm: Our turn, Pansy!

Bookworm: One, two, three

Bookworm: Vanilla!

Buttercup: I've never had cake, what is cake.

LoyalHoe: You are a sad creature

Buttercup: Thanks for noticing:)