Harry is a menace and everyone is paying the price [DISCONTINUED]: Chapter 2, harry potter - j. k. rowling fanfic

Daddy_Seyton

Characters

Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans Potter, Severus Snape, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Lucius Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Luna Lovegood, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, Ron Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Theodore Nott, Tom Riddle/Severus Snape, Peter Pettigrew/These MFing hands

Tags

The Author Regrets Everything Slytherin Harry Potter The Author Regrets Nothing anyway Nobody is Dead Everyone Is Alive Remus Lupin is So Done Sassy Harry Potter Heir of Slytherin Harry Potter Severus Snape is So Done Draco Malfoy & Ron Weasley Friendship Draco Malfoy is So Done Theodore Nott is a little shit Short Harry Potter this is shit SIKE Because I need my chaotic twin duo in my life Tom is alive and is a rude bitch Voldy & Snape are married to fuel my many crackhead ideas I am so sorry but at the same time I'm lying Harry Potter is a little bitch Harry Potter is his father's son peace was never an option James & Sirius make me want to cry Blaise Zabini Flirts Sassy Ron Weasley Hermione thinks she's better than everyone and she's right Luna Lovegood is an angel Lucius Malfoy is a drama queen Everyone collectively bullies Peter Even Voldy Narcissa is two seconds from drowning Lucius Harry is a menace Severus is the wine aunt Crackhead Golden Trio The Golden Trio are bottoms Sassy Bratty Bottoms The twins wreak havoc Rude Bitch runs in the Potter family "I should have swallowed" Lily J. Potter at some point "You should have swallowed" Draco L. Malfoy to Narcissa at some point Tom is the crackhead uncle who gives you twenty bucks if you can hold your breath for thirty minutes

Summary

I already have a MHA chatfic so I thought "Why the fuck not?"

Note

I have zero regrets but at the same time I wanna German Suplex myself off a bridge

Chapter 2

April 21, 2025 at 12:02 AM

SnakeDick: Guys my husband is trying to kill me

Buttercup: You don’t have a husband Draco dear

LoyalHoe: Who’d marry your slimy ass?

GoldenBitch: 1. I feel targeted

GoldenBitch: 2. Draco where are you, you fucking ferret boy?

Draco: SEE?! He wants to kill me!

LoyalHoe: Harry isn’t your husband

Bookworm: Give him a sec

LoyalHoe: Wait

LoyalHoe: WAIT

LoyalHoe: WHAT??!

LoyalHoe: YOU’RE SHAGGING THAT SNAKE???

GoldenBitch: As the heir of Slytherin, I feel attacked

SnakeDick: Weasley we’ve been together two years

SnakeDick: And you wish you were the heir of Slytherin

GoldenBitch: And you apparently wish to be laying on the bathroom floor again

SnakeDick: I feel threatened

GoldenBitch: Good because I found your hiding spot

SnakeDick: Wai-

SnakeDick has gone offline

SexOnLegs: RIP Ig
______________________________________________________________

Bookworm: Can I be frank with you guys?

SnakeDick: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

GoldenBitch: Can I still be Harry?

LoyalHoe: Shh, let Frank speak.

Pothead: We knew a Frank once

Woof: We knew a Frank once

Bookworm: This is what I wanted to talk about

Bookworm: You’re all idiots

SexOnLegs: I'm offended that you think that way

Buttercup: Not me tho rite???

Bookworm: ....

Buttercup: Rite??

Bookworm: No comment...

Buttercup: D:

NottFunny: Damn betrayed by your girlfriend

Buttercup: Read your name

Buttercup: That's my response to your existence :)

NottFunny: That's not funny :(

Buttercup: Neither is the joke your mother made a while back

NottFunny: What joke?

Buttercup: Look in the bathroom above the sink

Buttercup: I think she left it there

NottFunny: In the bathr-

NottFunny: ....

NottFunny: I hate it here :)

Buttercup: Don't worry me too :)

_______________________________________________________________

GoldenBitch: Yo is Ron sleeping or dead?

SnakeDick: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.

Buttercup: Yeah, so did I.

Loyalhoe: Okay, first of all, fuck you-

Buttercup: I'd love to babe but I'm taken

LoyalHoe: I-

SexOnLegs: Get your own ginger.

Buttercup: Ginger's too spicy for me

Buttercup: I'll stick with chamomile

SexOnLegs: I am an entire foot taller than you

SexOnLegs: I will crush you

Buttercup: I mean I'd love to see you try

NottFunny: Why are Slytherins so aggressive??????

NottFunny: More like rabid dogs than snakes

Gryffinboy: Aren't you a Slytherin?

NottFunny: ...

NottFunny: Love, why do you sabotage me? :)

Buttercup: Betrayed by your own boyfriend

Buttercup: Must hurt, Nott. Must hurt.

NottFunny: :)