No more lies (To Victory)

CHAPTER 14

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Harry woke up to his stomach grumbling like an angry beast.

It's been a while since he's been this hungry, which only raised more questions in his muddled mind than he had answers for. 

He'd gladly go back to sleep. He was comfortable and warm, the pillow that he stoleliberated from Draco soft against his cheek. Harry pulled the blanket higher and sighed deeply, wishing he could stay like this for the rest of the week, but alas-

"Tempus," he muttered, eyes bulging out the next moment when he saw the time. 

3.58PM

"What the fuck," Harry muttered, staring at the numbers with confusion.

Never in his entire life had he woken up this late. 

And Merlin, his head hurt. So did his whole body for some unfathomable reason.

Why-

Harry froze.

Oh.

He hoped that yesterday was a surreal nightmare, but the Fates were never that kind to him.

"Tom?"

Moments later, Tom was kneeling next to him, eyes suspiciously eager. "Yes, darling?"

"Obliviate me? Please? Or tell me it was all a dream?"

Tom chuckled, gazing at Harry fondly.

"Sorry darling, I won't lie to you. It wasn't a dream, but this could be."

Harry flushed, pulling the blanket over his head.

"Don't hide from me, darling: you won't get far," Tom teased, shuffling closer. "I will always find you, make no mistake about that." It was a promise as just as it was a threat. A vow Tom always intended to keep.

Harry whimpered. "Your main part hates me even more now than before. I can't believe I- can't believe that I broke into Voldemort’s fucking house."

"I don't think it's hate he feels for you, Harry. Rather astonished that he was wrong about you by a margin." Of that Tom was certain. However, it made Voldemort much more unpredictable now, thus more dangerous. "I'd say he was impressed and humbled."

Tom pulled the blanket away from Harry’s face, surprised to be met with insecurity.

It was a rare sight on Harry these days.

With tutelage and positive reinforcement from Tom, Harry flourished. So did his confidence. He truly couldn't wait to see what kind of person Harry grows up to be eventually.

Someone worthy of being at Lord Voldemort’s side, obviously. He'd take nothing less.

Tom grinned and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Harry’s soft lips.

"If you want more, you're going to have to be a good boy and get up."

Harry groaned. "I don't want to."

"Well then. No more kisses for you."

Harry pouted, finding this treatment incredibly unfair.

"Now, we need to check if you have any side effects from the possession," Tom's tone turned serious.

"Like what? I mean, it felt icky at times, but honestly, it was just weird; watching and hearing myself do things and not being in control."

Tom nodded. "That's because I didn't possess you completely." Harry frowned at his words, so Tom continued: "Normally how it works, I would've taken over not only your body, but your mind as well. I could've pushed you into the deepest parts of your mind, put you to sleep, placed you in a memory, or made you watch. What I did was more like a… cohabitation. The fact that you didn't fight me was a big factor as well."

"But I still couldn't feel my body."

Tom nodded. "You couldn't have. It would've taken us too long to coordinate everything and would've splinched us. Which reminds me to teach you how to apparate at one point."

"Honestly? The fact that it was so horrible makes me not want to learn."

Tom glared. "Youwill either way. It's a skill that could save your life one day."

"I know, I know. Doesn't mean I have to be happy about it."

"Yes. Back to the point: possession can leave marks. You may find yourself disoriented for a while, which doesn't seem to be an issue right now. Your magic was clearly depleted considering how long you've slept without interruption as well. And the biggest thing to worry about are your mental shields."

Harry was startled.

"What do you mean? They're fine!"

"Truly?"

Harry bit his lip and concentrated, retreating into his mind.

His shields were as fine as ever, but looking closer Harry could feel that they were… unbalanced.

Shaky even.

Tom nodded in understanding after Harry opened his eyes and was visibly unsettled.

"You're not as protected as before. You could be more susceptible to compulsions and legilimency attacks right now. You must be careful."

Harry nodded fearfully.

He'll need to avoid Dumbledore at all costs. Snape too, as a matter of fact. Neither of those bastards had enough decency not to stick their noses where they didn't belong.

"How are you feeling in general?"

Harry shrugged.

"Still tired. My head hurts. But alive nonetheless."

"Well, then you better get up before they send a search party for you. It's late and it's Yule, after all."

Harry’s eyes widened. It completely slipped his mind.

He parted the curtains, immediately noticing a pile of presents by his bed.

Oh shit.

Maybe it was a good thing he overslept.

"Where's that cheery excitement of holiday spirit, dear?" Tom was smirking.

"Piss off." Harry wasn't in the mood for presents or socialising today. He's done enough socialising for the rest of the year, really.

"My my, moody today, aren't we?" Tom grinned. "Are you hungover, darling?" He grinned even wider after the ferocious glare Harry shot his way. "I believe an 'I told you so' is in order."

"Sod off if you don't want to spend the day with Moaning Myrtle."

That shut Tom right up.

Harry unwrapped his presents, careful to cast detection spells on each and every one of them. One can't be too careful these days.

He was surprised to receive such well thought out gifts from his new slytherins friends, at which Tom scoffed.

"They hold you in high regard, Harry. Of course they will do everything in their power to impress you. The weak always cater to those in power."

Harry rolled his eyes, but a small smile turned at the corners of his lips.

He's never really received something that wasn't generic.

Ron always sent him some sort of sweets, Hermione - either books or something useful for studying. Mrs Weasley sent the same thing to her own children as well as Harry. That was mostly it, really, apart from some generic sweets from his doommates or a dirty sock from the Dursleys.

But this year… Harry was overwhelmed.

His whole slytherin group had gifted him something. Even Cassius sent something, along with Pucey. So did Pierre. And Luna. And fucking Lucius Malfoy.

Harry choked when he saw that one.

"What did that snivelling fool send you?" Tom asked suspiciously, glaring at the meticulously wrapped box of silver paper.

Harry shrugged. "Dunno, let's see."

He ripped the paper apart, not feeling the need to be careful, and started laughing.

Tom leaned closer to see inside, bristling immediately. "I'll castrate him," he threatened seriously, but Harry brushed him off. He wasn't opposed to having his own stash of wine.

He truly enjoyed the taste. And that wonderful buzzy feeling it gave him.

"Be quiet and I'll share it with you."

"You're a lightweight," Tom deadpanned.

"Oh? I'm sorry, and you're not? Do tell me of your tales of getting drunk, Mr Does-Everything-Perfectly. For all I know you're projecting."

Tom scoffed but didn't argue, which Harry took as a win.

He unwrapped other presents which mostly consisted of books of less than legal origin that Harry was excited to delve into - and so was Tom, if that manic glint in his eyes was of any indication. Then some overly fancy sweets he's never heard of, quidditch gear, some new products from twins he was reluctant to touch, an expensive winter coat - from Draco, which Tom was glaring at once more.

"Keep it up and you'll end up setting it on fire," Harry said, secretly pleased that Tom was jealous even though it was slightly ridiculous. "He's a Malfoy; his gifts are bound to be over the top."

Tom continued to pout while Harry rolled his eyes and discarded a tissue Dursleys deigned to gift him, and carefully opened a gift from Sirius.

"Apenknife?" Tom wasn't impressed. "Is he a muggle?"

Harry shrugged, just as confused. "Maybe he wants me to stab someone with it. You know, leaves no magical trace and whatnot. Oh-" he read the note. "It's magical, apparently. Unlocks the doors if magic isn't able to or whatever."

"Magic always unlocks the door. You just need to know the right spells." Yep, still unimpressed.

"Whatever." Harry pocketed the knife. It was better than nothing and he'll be meeting Sirius in a few days anyway, if everything goes to plan.

Under a pile of paper there was one more gift.

"Well, at least you didn't get that horrendous sweater this year," Tom sniffed. "I count that as a win."

"True," Harry nodded. "Can't say I won't miss Mrs Weasley's baking though. I don't think they'll send me anything without poison after that debaccable with Ginny." Oh well.

He can do without.

The last package had no name on it, so Harry was extra careful in case it was something sent by the old coot. He wouldn't be surprised one bit.

But it wasn't.

On top there was a slytherin pin and scarf, which Harry laughed at.

"You're officially initiated as a slytherin, darling," Tom was amused as well, a small smug smirk playing on his lips. He clearly approved.

Harry rolled his eyes and dug further, finding a note.

These are copies of letters your mother had sent me. I thought you'd appreciate getting a glimpse into what she was really like.

S.S.

Harry stared frozen at the note in his hands, distantly realising they were shaking.

Tom was instantly at his side, checking the note for poison or spells, but found none, and only then took notice of what it said.

"Oh," he said softly. "Breathe, Harry."

Harry gulped, eyes shooting towards a stack of letters in his lap.

Written by his mother.

He's never even seen anything of hers. Didn't even know what her handwriting looked like.

She was as good as a stranger to him and here was Snape, of all people, offering him a peek into who she really was, and not the glamorised version of her.

It was the best fucking gift anyone's ever given him.

He carefully took the first letter, almost afraid to read what's inside.

My dear Sev,

How are you doing? I hope this week at home hasn't been terribly lonely.

Countryside is great, but Tuney is being a real bitch. I can't get a moment without her sneering at me or calling everything we do as freaky. She doesn't even listen to mum, which is saying something. I'm tempted to pour itching powder down her pants, otherwise I might just curse her! (Maybe turn her into a toad?)

On a more pleasant note, we're coming back the day after tomorrow. Would you like to come for dinner and hang out? I wouldn't mind picking your brain a little; I've got some ideas and you're a genius at everything potion related.

I can't wait to see you!

With love,

Lily

All of a sudden Harry was pulled against a strong chest and his hair was being petted.

He was surprised to find tears running down his cheeks. He didn't recall starting to cry. 

"At least now we know where you got your temper from." Tom pressed a kiss to the crown of Harry's head.

Harry didn't answer.

It was shocking enough to know his mother was friends with Snape, but seeing a friendly letter between them made it more real than an abstract idea of her past.

It was so unfair, Harry thought bitterly. Snape knew his family - not only his parents, but his grandparents as well, while Harry was virtually oblivious and knew nothing about them.

The fact that it was Snape who provided him this… Harry didn't know how to feel. I mean, it was Snape.

"Are you okay?" Tom asked quietly, while Harry continued to stare at the parchment in his hands. 

He nodded, quickly putting the letter back into the box and casting protective enchantments over it. He couldn't bear to read them all now.

He wanted to savour them.

"You should head down to eat, darling," Tom nudged him slightly. "People will worry if you don't show up at all today."

Harry nodded, but made no move to stand up. He was content to sit on the floor with Tom by his side. It reminded him that he wasn't alone. That, perhaps, one day, everything he was doing will be worth it.

Harry spent another hour just lying in bed, his head on Tom's chest.

He ignored it when Tom said it might not be wise to syphon so much magic to him after yesterday, but Harry would rather not be alone. His magic felt fine: it was his body that was tired.

Quite frankly, he didn't want to leave his bed at all after days of constant socialising. Downtime should be mandatory, no matter what anyone says.

Eventually, after a heated kiss and promise for more later, Harry begrudgingly got dressed and ventured downstairs. He ignored people still lingering in the common room and headed straight for the Great Hall.

"Potter!"

Harry turned around, but was pulled aside by a fuming blond.

"Where have you been?!" Draco demanded.

"Uh… sleeping. In my dorm." What was this about?

"You-" Draco pinched the bridge of his nose. "Last night! You disappeared!"

Oh.

"Uh… well, I obviously didn't end up in Hogwarts," Harry laughed nervously, messing up his hair. "Don't worry, Snape found me in Hogsmeade and got me back. We walked, though. Pretty sure he didn't want to lose me to another fireplace."

"Merlin Potter. You're hopeless." His eyes narrowed. "Where did you end up?"

Oh, Harry didn't even think of a cover story. He couldn't just say he visited Voldemort or... could he?

A shit eating grin spread over Harry's face.

"Why, I was visiting the Dark Lord, of course. We have tons to talk about."

Draco sneered. "Of course, why didn't I think of that."

"No clue. It seems obvious."

Draco rolled his eyes hard and grabbed Harry's arm to drag him over to the Slytherin table, where two seats were already left for them. Huh.

"Oh, goodie. We thought you were kidnapped last night and Draco was covering it up," Blaise said nonchalantly, but Harry could tell the boy was curious. They all were.

But they were slytherins: they will do everything but ask him directly. They will try to spin the wheel round and round up until Harry willingly confesses his sins, but that was never going to happen.

And that's why it was fun.

Surprisingly, he had a pleasant time. Everyone stayed away from heavier topics and just basked in a calm celebratory cheer. 

Harry felt so peaceful and downright content that anxiety started creeping in, a voice telling him that it was just the calm before the storm.

Because when had his life ever stayed peaceful? Trouble followed Harry like a curse. For all he knew, his whole bloodline was cursed and he was none the wiser.

But for now, Harry was content to stay oblivious.

Even if just for a little while.

The rest of the evening was spent in a relaxed ambience that Hogwarts provided. The whole day felt like a fuzzy dream.

He spent some time in the Slytherin Common Room in order to avoid his housemates for a little while longer. He met the Weasley twins on the second floor corridor setting up some sort of a prank that will 'keep the holiday cheer up a while longer'. Harry didn't ask. Plausible deniability and all that.

They congratulated him on being disowned by their mother.

"She's still furious with you due to what happened to Ginny. She can't grasp it was her own fault and not yours, thus you were spared the Weasley sweater."

But they warned him that something else might be in the works. For Harry to be careful.

Harry didn't bother going back to the Gryffindor Tower, craving some privacy. The Room of Requirement sounded perfect and showed itself to Harry as a cosy bedroom, with fire crackling in the background, creating a relaxing ambience and soothing Harry’s tired body and mind.

He didn't even realise how exhausted he was until coming here. Now? He felt like he could fall face down on the carpet and sleep there for a week.

"Darling? Harry? Are you well?" Tom asked, appearing in front of the boy.

Harry nodded.

"Just knackered. I don't know why; I've been sleeping all day."

Tom nodded, taking Harry by his arm and leading him to the loveseat that appeared for them.

"That's because yesterday took a lot out of you. I told you - possession, especially since you're already my main energy source, takes a toll on the body. Besides, you've hardly had time to rest these past few months. I think it's catching up to you."

Harry didn't even argue - it was most likely true.

"Would you like me to draw you a bath?"

He startled. "What?"

"A bath, Harry, surel you've heard of it? I believe it would help you to relax. And would feel nice, too.”

Honestly, Harry was too tired to care and just nodded tiredly. A bath did sound nice.

Tom left him alone for a moment, slipping into a bath room that appeared at his command.

It was a good thing nobody was aware of this room and if they were, they were keeping it secret. Harry didn't know what he'd do if he didn't have a secret place to run off to, and the Slytherin Chamber didn't count.

“Bath's ready,” Tom announced, startling Harry once more. Truly, he was spacing out a lot today but it was worth it, because of all the things he achieved, and still got to get back unharmed, just severely unbalanced.

And he still had Tom, who had no business looking so damn good and was giving him a knowing look.

Did he read his mind?

Probably.

His mind shields were still wonky and he didn't have the energy to keep them up. And he hoped that he and Tom reached a point of trust where the other boy wouldn't be taking advantage of him in that way.

Tom helped him up - and who would believe that such a murderous bastard was a perfect gentleman? - and led him towards the bath.

Harry didn't know what Tom put inside, but the bath was overflowing with shimmering bubbles. It smelled heavenly, too.

Harry started undressing before he froze, turning around and shooting Tom a sheepish look.

Tom grinned and Harry could feel his cheeks flushing. “Don't worry, darling, I'll turn around until you get in to protect your modesty. Or I can leave..?”

Harry pondered for a moment, but shook his head. “You can stay.” He really didn't fancy being alone at the moment. “You can… I don't know. Read a book or something.”

Tom snorted, but turned around to give Harry some privacy. Something he's rarely if ever done before; preferring to be in the know of everything. Even things he had no business sticking his nose in.

But Harry appreciated the gesture.

Harry almost moaned when the water engulfed him.

It was hot, but not unbearably so, and it almost made him melt. Harry didn't even realise how tense his muscles were before until the heat helped him relax.

Merlin, he needed this.

It was a downright crime not to have bathtubs in the dormitories. Except the Slytherin ones, of course.

“I'm glad to see you enjoy it,” Tom said, having conjured himself an armchair - a posh bastard. Who has armchairs in the bathroom?!

“Didn't realise how much I needed this,” Harry muttered, closing his eyes. He wanted to sink down to the bottom of the bathtub, to be completely covered in this velvety heat and fall asleep there until the time to wake up comes. Perhaps not even then. It would be perfect.

“And that's why you have me, darling. Clearly, taking care of yourself isn't your strong suit.”

"Mhm."

Tom nudged him, making Harry open his eyes and look up.

"If you fall asleep in the tub I'm leaving you there."

Harry smiled. "I honestly don't care at this point."

Tom huffed. He summoned himself a book and delved into it, occasionally nudging Harry to make sure he's not asleep.

He could tell Harry was exhausted and needed a well deserved rest.

Eventually, Tom deemed it long enough and helped Harry up, urging him to get ready for bed. When Harry finally emerged from the bathroom Tom wondered how in the hell did he get so lucky.

Luna was right last time: he couldn't help but wonder how different everything would've gone down if he had Harry by his side from the beginning.

It was nothing more than wishful thinking: he knew he would've seen Harry as competition. Perhaps even tried to eliminate him if Harry didn't bend to his will. Which he'd never do - Merlin knows Harry Potter is the most stubborn bastard to walk this earth.

He would've gone against Tom out of pure spite.

But alas, in this life… Harry was his. Tom thanked his lucky stars once more for this, especially as Harry crawled into bed and grumbled for him to get in as well, only to drape himself over Tom moments later.

"Have I been demoted to a pillow, darling?" He teased with a smirk on his lips, not minding in the slightest.

Who knew he'd grow to enjoy another person's company? By the shock on Voldemort’s face yesterday, the man had never had anyone the way he had Harry.

How… dull.

"Not demoted. Promoted. No one would get such an honour," Harry muttered.

"They better not, or I'd have to kill them." It didn't matter that Tom's tone was light - he meant every word.

If anyone else ever dared to touch Harry… death would be a mercy that would not come quickly.

Tom had always been possessive of things and people he considered his.

And Harry was his and his alone.

"No need to be possessive, Tom. You're the best at this job. Top tier. Wouldn't want anyone else. I'll leave you a five star review."

And Harry meant it.

He couldn't stomach being like this with other people.

It took him time and a few good freak outs to come to terms that he had a crush on Tom, and then that those feelings were mutual.

He had a hard time trusting others and letting other people touch him.

The thought of letting someone else so close to him terrified him.

But Tom? He's been there for him, for years. Tom knew him better than anyone in this entire world, his darker parts and all - it wasn't even a competition.

He snuggled deeper into Tom, wishing he could really have a living, breathing person next to him. That Tom shouldn't have to depend on him.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Tom carded his fingers through Harry’s messy locks. "You should go back to sleep. You need rest."

"You should be free," Harry said, and Tom froze. "Having you here is amazing. Sometimes I think you're the only person keeping my sanity together. Merlin knows where I'd be if not for you, but… it's unfair that you're stuck here, dependant on me, when you could be out there, changing this fucked up world for the better."

Tom pulled away, cupping Harry’s chin, pulling Harry up to look into his eyes. He stared intently as if searching for something.

"My existence is of my own making, Harry. You had nothing to do with it and despite everything, Fate brought us together. So we shall change the world together too. Do you understand me?"

Harry nodded, eyes feeling teary again.

He blinked them away, frustrated at himself for being an emotional wreck these days. He hated feeling so out of control.

Tom pulled him closer again, wrapping his arms tightly around the younger boy and placed his chin on Harry’s head. "Go to sleep, Harry. I'll be here. And when you wake up, we can take the world together by a storm."

"Fine," Harry sniffed. "But only if you drink Malfoy’s wine with me."

"I can't believe he turned you into an alcoholic in one night."

Harry pinched Tom hard enough for him to squeal.

"Ouch! Okay, sorry, sorry."

"You better be," Harry muttered and made himself comfortable.

He wished for this day to never end.