Staring down a loaded gun
The inside of the tank was suffocating, hot, cramped, and thick with the stench of oil and sweat. Julianna's blindfold pressed uncomfortably against her face, the rough fabric scratching her skin. Every jolt and bump in the road sent her sprawling into the cold metal walls or into the others. Her head throbbed from the hit she'd taken, and her stomach flipped with a volatile mix of fear and nausea, each emotion feeding into the other until they were indistinguishable.
Someone's shoulder collided with hers again—Natalie, from the sound of her muttered curse.
"Damn it," Natalie hissed, shifting against the jostling movement. Her voice was low but steady, a little too calm in a way that made Julianna wonder if she was working overtime to keep her cool. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Julianna mumbled, though she wasn't sure if she meant it. Her breath was uneven, her chest tightening with each rumble of the tank. "I think so."
There was a small rustle beside her, and then she felt a hand brush against her own. Small, trembling fingers wrapped around hers, and she knew instantly it was Javi. His grip was tight, too tight, but she squeezed back, grounding herself in the connection.
"It's okay," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the roar of the engine. "I'm here."
On her other side, Natalie shifted, her fingers finding Julianna's free hand. For all her usual tough exterior, her grip was firm but not harsh, a small lifeline in the blindness.
"Stay calm," Natalie whispered, her voice so quiet it was almost drowned out. "We'll figure something out. Just stay quiet for now."
Julianna nodded even though no one could see her. The motion felt futile, but it was something, anything to keep herself anchored in the chaos.
The tank hit another bump, and Javi yelped as he was jostled against the wall. Julianna reached out instinctively, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to steady him. He pressed into her side, his small body trembling.
"Javi," she whispered, keeping her voice soft and steady. "We're going to be okay. Just hold on, okay?"
There was no response, just his shaky breaths against her shoulder.
From somewhere ahead, muffled voices carried over the rumble of the engine. The soldiers were talking, arguing, it sounded like, but their words were garbled through the din. Julianna strained to listen, tilting her head toward the direction of the sound.
"...hostile... protocol says..."
"...overstepping... what we're supposed to..."
"...orders are orders. We'll bring them in for... and...processing and let commander deal with it."
Processing. Processing them for what? Her mind raced through every possible scenario, each worse than the last. Were they going to kill them? Use them for something? She swallowed hard, forcing herself to take slow, shallow breaths to keep from spiraling.
"What are they saying?" Javi whispered, his voice small and frightened.
"I don't know," Julianna murmured. She tried to keep her voice calm, but it wavered just enough for Natalie to notice.
"They're just grunts," Natalie said quietly, her tone focused and deliberate. "They're following orders, but they don't sound like they know what they're doing. That's good for us."
"How is that good?" Julianna asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Because people who don't know what they're doing screw up," Natalie said.
Julianna nodded again, clutching both their hands tightly as the tank bounced along the uneven road. She could feel the bruises forming on her back and shoulders from the constant impact, but she didn't dare complain.
The soldiers' voices grew louder for a moment, as if one of them had moved closer.
"...Too young... don't see why they're worth the trouble."
"Doesn't matter. They're resources like anyone else. They'll decide what to do with them."
Julianna's stomach turned. Resources. They weren't people to these soldiers, they were something to be used, like fuel or rations. Her chest tightened, and for a moment, she couldn't breathe.
Natalie's grip tightened on her hand, grounding her. "Hey," she whispered. "Don't think about it. Not yet."
Julianna nodded, again, forcing herself to take a shaky breath.
Another judder sent them all slamming into each other again. Javi whimpered softly, and Julianna adjusted her hold on him, her free hand brushing over his hair in an attempt to comfort him.
"I'm scared," Javi whispered, his voice barely audible.
"Me too," Julianna admitted, her voice trembling. "But we're going to find a way out. I promise."
Javi didn't respond, but he squeezed her hand tighter, and she took that as an answer.
Natalie leaned closer,"Listen. When the time comes, we're going to make a break for it. Got it?"
"How do you know there'll be a chance?" Julianna asked, her throat dry.
"There's always a chance," Natalie said firmly. "You just have to be ready when it comes."
Julianna swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest. The blindfold, the darkness, the suffocating heat, it all felt like too much. But Natalie's voice cut through the panic, anchoring her.
"Stay calm," Natalie repeated, her tone softer now. "You're good at that, Julianna. Staying calm under pressure."
Julianna didn't feel calm.
She felt like glass stretched thin, trembling under invisible pressure, ready to shatter at the slightest touch. But she nodded anyway, clutching their hands like they were the only things keeping her tethered to reality.
The tank rumbled on, the soldiers' voices fading in and out as they continued their conversation. Julianna leaned her head back against the wall, her mind racing.
The tank jolted to a stop, and for a moment, silence replaced the constant roar of the engine. Julianna tensed, gripping Javi and Natalie's hands even tighter. She strained to hear anything—the soldiers' voices, the sound of doors opening, but all she caught was an eerie, hollow stillness.
"What's happening?" Javi whispered, his voice trembling.
"I'm sorry, I don't know—," Julianna whispered back, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it would break through her chest. Her breaths came faster, panic creeping in at the edges of her mind. She could feel Natalie beside her, just as tense, though her grip on Julianna's hand didn't falter.
The way her fingers intertwined with hers, a soft but deliberate connection that seemed to ground her, sending a warmth that spread up her arm, anchoring her in the moment. It felt strange, relying on others in a world that had come apart at the seams. She wasn't used to being held like this, whether out of fear or some unspoken need, and the unfamiliar closeness twisted something inside her.
A faint hiss cut through the air.
It started quietly, almost like the sound of steam escaping a pipe. Then it grew louder, filling the tank with a low, insistent noise. Julianna's nose crinkled as a strange, sharp smell filled the space, something chemical and unnatural. Her first thought was smoke, and she instinctively reached for the blindfold, trying to pull it off.
"Don't!" Natalie hissed, grabbing her arm after feeling her move. "We don't know what's going on."
"I smell something," Julianna said, her voice panicked. Her lungs burned slightly as she inhaled, and she coughed, the sharp scent scratching at her throat.
The hiss grew louder, and she could hear Javi coughing now, too, trembling against her side. "What is it?" he rasped, his voice small and frightened.
"Gas," Natalie muttered, her tone tight and urgent. "They're gassing us."
"Gas?" Julianna repeated, her voice climbing. "Why—why would they—"
"Shh!" Natalie insisted. "Stop talking, Julianna-Don't breathe so much, you'll—"
But it was too late. The gas was thickening, the sharp, chemical scent invading every breath they took. Julianna's head started to spin, her thoughts tangling into a messy, incoherent jumble. She tried to focus on the feel of Javi's hand in hers, on Natalie's presence beside her, but it was slipping away.
Javi's coughs turned into small, frightened whimpers. "I don't—I don't feel good," he mumbled, his words slurring as his head lolled against her.
"Javi," Julianna croaked, shaking him slightly. But her own body felt heavy, her limbs like lead. Her head lolled forward, and she struggled to keep her grip on his hand.
"Don't..." Natalie's voice came from somewhere beside her, faint and distant.
Julianna tried to respond, but her tongue felt thick, her mouth too dry to form words. Her breaths came slower now, the gas clawing its way deeper into her lungs. Her vision, already blackened by the blindfold, seemed to tilt and swirl in her mind's eye.
She slumped back against the wall of the tank, her body sagging as consciousness slipped further and further away. Somewhere in the distance, she thought she heard the sound of voices—muffled and distorted, like a dream. The soldiers, maybe. Or maybe it was Natalie. She couldn't tell anymore.
The last thing she felt was Javi's hand slipping out of hers, his frightened grip disappearing into the darkness as the gas pulled her under.