heavenward | n.scatorccio

Julianna Sadecki wasn't good at sleeping at night. She wasn't good at a lot of things—she figured that out every day, like little reminders scribbled in the margins of her life. Sleeping was just another thing on the list, somewhere between 'holding a normal conversation' and 'tying her shoelaces.'

She didn't know exactly why sleep always eluded her. It wasn't like she didn't get tired—she just couldn't ever seem to sleep when she was supposed to. She'd lie there, her body still, while her brain pulled apart every small detail of her day like an endless ball of tangled yarn. Hours passed like that, though she never realized it until the room began to change, shadows stretching, breaths slowing, the air heavier with silence.

Her brother was sprawled out beside her, snoring softly in the way only Jeff could: loud enough to be noticed, but not obnoxiously so. Julianna didn't even bother nudging him to roll over. It was comforting, in a way, hearing him breathe, knowing he was alive, even if it did make her want to roll her eyes.

The sports hall was blanketed in darkness now, except for the faint flicker of candlelight that danced across the walls. Everyone was huddled up, paired off or tucked into corners with their chosen people. The sleeping bags were spread out like mismatched puzzle pieces across the shiny wooden floor.

Julianna lay flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Every crack and imperfection stood out to her, like a map of some other world she could get lost in if she stared long enough. She noticed the faint patterns of water damage near the vents, the tiny spiderweb crack in the far corner of the ceiling. Anything to keep her thoughts from spiralling.

She wasn't sure how long everyone else had been asleep. Her watch battery had died a few hours ago, when they were supposed to last, what-months? years?—Of course it had died, because she had an uncanny knack for jinxing herself at the worst times. Time seemed pointless, anyway.

Eventually, she sat up, her body stiff from lying on the hard floor. The air was cold, wrapping around her like a too-thin blanket. Without a word, she slipped away from her spot, careful not to wake anyone, and moved to the far end of the hall. She sat down against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest.

The silence was deafening.

She pressed her forehead to her knees, letting her hair fall like a curtain around her face. But before she could sink too far into her thoughts, a faint rustling caught her attention.

Across the room, Natalie Scatorccio stirred, lifting her head from where she'd been leaning against a battered backpack. Her blonde hair was messy, sticking out in every direction, messy tufts, and her eyeliner had smudged so much it looked like dark war paint streaked across her face.

Julianna froze, not expecting to be caught out of her corner-of-the-room invisibility. Natalie's sharp gaze landed on her, and for a moment, neither of them moved.

Then Julianna quickly looked away, her heart doing an awkward stutter-step in her chest.

But Natalie wasn't the type to let things go. She stood, her movements slow and deliberate, and crossed the room with the heavy tread of her boots that she didn't take off, echoing against the floor.

She stopped in front of Julianna and tilted her head, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her oversized jacket.

"You don't sleep either?" Natalie's voice was low, scratchy in the way that came from too many cigarettes and not enough water.

Julianna blinked up at her, the awkwardness settling in her chest like a second heartbeat. "I guess not."

She locked eyes with Julianna, who quickly looked away.

Natalie raised an eyebrow but didn't push further.

"Cool," Natalie muttered, plopping down beside her. There was no invitation, she just sat beside Julianna, her back hitting the same cold wall with a soft thud. Her knees splayed out.

For a while, neither of them spoke.

Natalie pulled a cigarette pack from her jacket and frowned at it before shoving it back. The no-smoking rule, instated begrudgingly after Misty had made an entire speech about air quality, must have crossed her mind. She sighed and leaned her head back against the wall, staring up at the same cracks Julianna had been cataloging earlier.

"What's your excuse? Why aren't you passed out like everyone else?" Natalie's lips quirked into a half-smile.

Julianna hesitated, her fingers curling tightly around the edge of her sleeve. She'd seen Natalie around school plenty of times before, but they'd never talked. Natalie was magnetic in a way Julianna could never be, effortlessly cool, the kind of person who drew attention without even trying.

While Julianna had mastered the art of avoiding it.

It felt strange sitting next to her, knowing that under any other circumstances, she and Natalie would probably never cross paths, let alone speak.

"Just can't." Julianna said finally, her voice soft. "Never could. Too noisy up here." She tapped the side of her head awkwardly, her fingers brushing her temple before dropping back to her lap, giving a small, self-conscious smile.

Natalie didn't laugh or tease her, which was a small mercy.

Instead, she nodded like she understood.

"Yeah," Natalie said. "It's like that sometimes." She rubbed the back of her neck, her voice dropping lower. "Not that I'm some insomniac or whatever, but... sleeping here feels wrong, y'know? Like, who can just knock out when the world's gone to shit?"

Julianna looked at her, surprised by the bluntness. "I guess, I don't know.
Maybe it's easier for them. To just, shut it all out for a while."

"Yeah, well, good for them," Natalie muttered, her tone bitter. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, looking smaller than usual despite her rough edges and bravado.

They sat like that for a while, the silence between them heavy but not uncomfortable. Julianna risked a glance at Natalie's face, taking in the sharp lines softened by exhaustion.

She wasn't sure why Natalie had decided to sit with her, but she didn't mind it. Maybe it was nice, in a strange way, to not be completely alone for once.

Despite what you might see in movies, the end of the world consisted of a lot of waiting around. No dramatic dashes for freedom, no heart-pounding escapes, just a group of teenagers sitting around in a gymnasium that still smelled faintly of floor polish and sweat.

Julianna stretched her legs out in front of her, scuffed converse toeing the edge of a basketball line painted on the glossy wooden floor. The morning light seeped in through the high windows, muted and pale, like even the sun was hesitant to fully commit to this new, broken world.

Jeff was lying flat on his back beside her, his arms crossed behind his head. "You know," he said lazily, staring up at the ceiling, "I always thought the apocalypse would be cooler than this."

Julianna rolled her eyes, even though he wasn't looking at her. "Sorry to disappoint you, Jeff."

"I'm just saying," he continued, tilting his head toward her with a grin. "Where are the explosions? The, like, action montages? This is just..." He waved a hand vaguely. "...sitting."

"Do you want to go outside and look for explosions?" Julianna asked, her voice dry. "Because I'm sure the infected would love to help you out."

Jeff snorted, but before he could respond, Jackie's voice cut across the gym.

"Okay, team meeting!" she called, clapping her hands together.

The Yellowjackets were scattered across the gym, some still curled up in sleeping bags, others lounging in clusters. Jackie's voice carried easily, and one by one, they all started to shuffle toward the center of the room.

Julianna stayed where she was, watching as Jeff reluctantly got to his feet. "Come on," he said, nudging her with his foot. "Let's see what Jackie has planned for our exciting day."

Julianna sighed and followed him, shoving her hands into the pockets of her hoodie.

Jackie was standing near the center of the group, her arms crossed in a way that she probably thought looked authoritative. "We can't just sit around all day," she said, glancing around at everyone. "We need to, like, do something."

"Like what?" Natalie drawled, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

Jackie frowned at her. "I don't know. Something productive. We should, like... make a plan or something."

"What kind of plan?" Taissa asked, raising an eyebrow. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor beside Van, who was chewing on a piece of gum and looking mildly amused.

Jackie hesitated, clearly not expecting to be questioned. "You know. A plan. For... surviving."

"Great plan," Natalie said dryly, earning a snicker from Van.

Julianna shifted awkwardly on her feet, glancing around the group. It felt like everyone was looking to Jackie for leadership, even if half of them were doing it sarcastically. She wondered if Jackie even wanted that responsibility, or if she just didn't know how to let it go.

"Maybe we could, like, organize our supplies or something," Shauna suggested, her voice quieter than Jackie's but more practical. "Make a list of what we have and what we need?"

Misty perked up at that. "Oh! I can help with that. I'm really good at organizing."

"You don't say," Natalie muttered under her breath, and Julianna bit back a smile. Misty's enthusiasm was almost overwhelming, but Julianna knew it was an inseparable part of who Misty was. Because of that, she felt no desire to complain.

"Okay," Jackie said, seizing on Shauna's suggestion. "That's a good idea. Let's start with that."

"And then what?" Taissa asked. "Organizing supplies is great, but it's not going to keep us alive long-term."

"Maybe we should, like, practice defending ourselves," Van suggested, twirling the end of her gum wrapper between her fingers. "In case more of those things show up."

"Defending ourselves with what?" Jeff asked. "Basketballs?"

Van grinned. "If we throw them hard enough..."

"Actually," Misty said, her voice bright, "I could teach everyone some basic first aid! You know, just in case someone gets hurt."

"'In case'?" Travis muttered, glancing at Coach Ben, who was still propped up on a makeshift cot in the corner of the gym.

"Why not do both?" Taissa said, cutting through the chatter. "Half of us can work on supplies, and the other half can practice... whatever. Defense. First aid. Something useful."

There was a murmur of agreement, and Jackie nodded, clearly relieved to have some kind of plan in place. "Okay. Let's split up."

Julianna ended up in the 'supplies' group, along with Misty, Jeff, Shauna, and Akilah. They sat cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by the haphazard pile of items they'd scavenged over the past two days.

"So... this is what we've got," Shauna said, gesturing to the pile.

Misty clapped her hands together. "Great! Let's start by categorizing everything. Food, medical supplies, tools..."

"Boring," Jeff muttered, earning a glare from Misty.

"It's important," she said firmly.

"Whatever you say, Quigley," Jeff said with a shrug.

Julianna glanced at him, trying to hide her amusement as a result of their interaction. She wasn't sure what was funnier—Misty's intensity or Jeff's complete lack of it.

"Okay, food first," Shauna said, pulling a couple of cans from the pile. "Let's see what we've got."

As they worked, the chatter around them grew louder. The defense group was practicing in the corner of the gym, using broken chair legs and other makeshift weapons. Natalie was showing Van how to swing a bat, while Taissa and Jackie argued over technique.

Julianna's attention drifted, her hands moving automatically as she sorted through the pile of supplies. She couldn't help but wonder how long they could keep this up, this strange mix of normalcy and danger.

Most of the group had migrated toward the makeshift weapons training area, leaving Misty and Julianna alone by the dwindling pile of supplies. The sharp crack of a bat hitting something, a chair leg, maybe, echoed through the gym, followed by Natalie's sarcastic laughter. Julianna winced slightly at the noise but stayed where she was, her legs crossed beneath her as she picked through the medical items.

Misty sat across from her, her posture impossibly straight, eyes bright with focus as she organized the remaining bandages and rubbing alcohol into neat rows. She'd started humming under her breath, a strange, bouncy little tune that sounded out of place against the dull murmur of the others, but Julianna didn't mind it. She thought she recognised it from a musical.

"Okay," Misty said suddenly, her voice cutting through the quiet between them. "You know the basics, right? Like, how to clean a wound?"

Julianna nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I think so. Rinse it with clean water if you can, or use alcohol or peroxide if it's all you've got..." She trailed off, glancing at Misty for confirmation.

Misty nodded enthusiastically. "Good! That's a great start. But there are so many little things that people don't think about. Like, did you know peroxide can actually slow healing if you use it too often?"

"I... didn't know that," Julianna admitted, her brow furrowing.

Misty smiled, and for once, it wasn't the unsettling, too-wide grin that Julianna sometimes caught from her, it was softer, almost grateful. "Well, now you do! And you're probably already better at this than half of them." She waved a hand toward the others, who were currently swinging chair legs at an empty volleyball net like it was a target.

Julianna laughed softly, her voice still quiet. "That's not a high bar."

Misty giggled, a high-pitched sound that made Julianna glance up in surprise. "True. But still, it's important. I mean, if we don't have someone who knows this stuff, what happens when someone gets hurt? Like, really hurt? Like Coach."

Julianna nodded slowly, her fingers brushing over a roll of gauze. "Yeah. You're right. And, uh... I guess it's good to have more than one person who knows it."

"Exactly!" Misty said, leaning forward slightly. "So, here's what you need to know about infections. First, always make sure you've cleaned the wound as much as possible. Dirt, debris, anything that could get stuck, it all has to go."

As Misty launched into a detailed explanation, Julianna found herself oddly captivated. Misty spoke with the kind of passion that most people would reserve for their favorite movie or a band they'd loved since middle school. It was strange, seeing her so animated, but it was also kind of nice to have someone that eager to talk to her. It was foreign.

"And if you ever find a wound that smells weird, like really bad, that's a sign of infection," Misty was saying. "You'll need antibiotics, if we can find any, or at least a clean dressing to keep it from getting worse. Oh, and don't forget about splints! You can make them out of almost anything—sticks, rulers, even the metal bars from the bleachers, if you're desperate..."

Julianna raised an eyebrow. "You've really thought about all of this?"

Misty gave her a pointed look. "Of course I have. I took the Red Cross training camp twice. I even got an award for it."

"Twice?" Julianna asked, trying not to sound too surprised.

Misty's chest puffed up a little, clearly proud. "Yep! Most people only do it once, but I figured, why not? You can always learn more, you know? And now..." She gestured dramatically to the supplies spread out between them. "Now all that training is finally useful."

Julianna couldn't help but smile at that. "Well, I'm glad someone knows what they're doing."

Misty's eyes softened, and for a moment, she looked almost shy. "I'm glad you're helping," she said quietly. "Most people don't really stick around when I start talking about this stuff."

Julianna felt a twinge of guilt at that, at how easy it would've been to walk away, to join the others and pretend this conversation had never happened. But she stayed. Misty might've been overly eager and socially awkward, but she was smart. And kind of impressive, in her own way.

"Well," Julianna said, shifting awkwardly. "It's important, right? And, uh, you're really good at explaining it."

Misty beamed at her, and for a second, Julianna thought she might actually cry. But then Misty clapped her hands together and launched into another explanation, this time about amputations and stab wounds, and the moment passed.

Julianna glanced over her shoulder at the others, who were now arguing loudly about whether or not Travis could hit a target from twenty feet away. She sighed and turned back to Misty, picking up a roll of medical tape.

"Okay," she said. "Show me how to use this."