Chapter 5: stop thinking about it

Monday, 5th of October, 1987

'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars

I'm gonna give you my heart

'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars

'Cause you light up the path

I don't care, go on and tear me apart

I don't care if you do, oo-oo, oo-oo

'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars

I think I saw you

- sky full of stars

“Oi, Weasley!”, Oliver Wood called, running up the changing stairs, a broad smile on his face that could only mean something: trouble.

Percy, however, didn’t turn around, not even stopped walking, he simply kept going as if he hadn’t heard Oliver whatsoever.

“Weasley! Oi! Mate!”, Oliver kept yelling, going after the boy that seemed to be in an incomprehensible hurry. The stairs weren’t in agreement with Oliver since the second Percy touched the floor, the stair changed their course.

That situation went on for a while, Oliver screaming Percy’s name and at that point, it was painfully clear Percy was ignoring Wood. After an eternity of that, someone yelled, “Percy Weasley!”, so loudly the other boy couldn’t ignore it. Percy finally turned around and, unexpectedly, a smile appearing on his face.

“Charlie!”, said Percy, cheerfully.

As Oliver turned around, he found himself looking at an older version of Percy. Charlie Weasley was looking at him with a smile on his face. He had seen the boy around Hogwarts countless of times - probably because it was easy enough to spot him with that red hair -, but had never talked to him.

Everyone knew Charlie Weasley as the smartest and coolest boy in his year if not in the school. Oliver bloody idolized him. He was at the quidditch team as a seeker and even though his older brother was still in Hogwarts in his sixth year, was prefect, everyone simply seemed to adore Charlie a bit more. Or at least, Oliver did. It was only a matter of time before Charlie became prefect or head-boy, not that it mattered to Wood but it certainly did to the Weasley family.

Percy awkwardly hugged his brother as Oliver simply stood there, dumbstruck, looking at the Weasleys.

“Is everything alright?”, Charlie asked, looking at his brother even though the question clearly involved Oliver.

“Perfectly fine, Charlie. Don’t worry about it”, said Percy, shaking lightly his head.

“Is that right, Wood?”

For a second, Oliver could only stare at Charlie Weasley and see him on that broom, flying around - even though Oliver had never watched a game, the image he had was made by himself after spending hours reading about Quidditch.

When he was done freaking out about it, he came to realize Charlie knew his name. He looked at Percy, not knowing what to say, seeing him rolling his eyes.

“Oliver is just being annoying, as usual, Charlie. Don’t worry about it” repeated Percy. Oliver was a bit mad for the annoying part but decided it wasn’t worth saying anything.

“Can’t he speak?”, asked Charlie, looking weirdly at Oliver.

“I can. I’m sorry. Hello, I’m Oliver Wood”, he finally said, trying not to cringe at his presentation as Percy rolled his eyes again.

“I know who you are. Detention in the second week, huh?”, Oliver could feel his face burning, he just knew he was as red as Percy’s hair, but somehow he managed to answer.

“Yeah. That was my fault, by the way. Percy had nothing to do with it”, explained Oliver merely because it wasn’t fair of him to let the blame fall on Percy.

“Oh, but he went with you didn’t he?”, Charlie pointed out and Oliver looked outraged at the older Weasley.

“Yes, but only because he had to! I could be dead if it weren’t for him and really, it was not his fault, it was mine. I was stupid, couldn’t wait to be on a broom again and… It was not Percy’s fault”

Charlie, however, simply laughed at him.

“You’re something, you know that Wood?”, he gestured with his hand to Percy, a smile on his lips as he looked at the two younger boys for a moment, not saying anything. At last, he laughed and said, “Yes, I am well aware of the situation. You must be one hell of a friend if Percy there was risking his perfect record to save your ass”

“Charlie!”, squeaked Percy, his eyes begging for his brother to shut up.

“Oh, it’s true! Never thought perfect Percy would be seen in detention. He was the most boring child ever!”, Oliver didn’t need to look at Percy to know he was skulling, a terrible habit he learned from Oliver that made Wood ridiculously proud until that very moment.

“That certainly can’t be true”, Oliver pointed out, “Percy is one of the most fascinating people I ever met!”. He wasn’t lying nor saying that to earn one of those rare smiles from Percy, it was so painfully true he couldn’t help but say it, it seemed absurd that Charlie didn’t realize how amazing his younger brother was when he lived the whole time with Percy.

As his roommate and best friend, Oliver didn’t spend nearly enough time with Weasley, but there was his brother, acting like it was surprising Percy even had a friend.

“Really? How interesting.”, as he looked at Percy, Charlie added, “You have a good one there, Perce.”, looking back at Oliver he said, before turning around and leaving, “Keep up with the detention, Wood. Also, perhaps you should try for a spot in the Quidditch team.”

Oliver was still watching Charlie go, not really able to form any coherent thought besides the fact that Charlie Weasley told him he, Oliver Wood, could possibly get into the Quidditch team!

Percy, however, was more annoyed than usual, catching Oliver's arm, dragging him up the stairs while muttering, “You stupid asshole”.

____________________________

Tuesday, 6th of October, 1987

Percy wasn’t talking to him. Actually, Percy wasn’t even looking at him. It had been a day since they encounter Charlie on the corridor and Oliver had yet to understand why Percy was ignoring him that day and… well, right now.

They sat beside each other in every class they had that day. Any outsider who looked at them saw the usual, the two boys sitting beside each other, once on their lives not talking through the whole class. But they didn’t exchange a word, they didn’t look at each other, it was like Oliver wasn’t even there.

Of course, he had tried everything. He had yelled Percy’s name for thirty minutes straight - his throat still hurt from it -, didn’t work. He had made smart-ass comments about everything he could, hoping to earn a smile from Percy or at least anything that told him he was listening and Oliver wasn’t talking to a bloody wall. He had whispered Percy’s name in his ears - that one seemed to really mess with Weasley’s mind considering he hid himself in the bathroom after that. He had begged, had tried to guess why he was acting like that, he made jokes about it, he screamed, he shook Weasley’s shoulders, threw things at him, begged for forgiveness after throwing things at him, smiled while trying to convince the other boy to talk to him… He tried it all!

Still, Percy didn’t even glance at him.

He had gone too long without Percy’s annoying remarks about his posture in class. Too bloody long. He had to do something, he just wasn’t sure why.

Then he remembered what Charlie Weasley said, about Percy only going to detention for him. After two or three minutes of forming his plan, Oliver was positive he could make Percy forgive him. He was so sure he didn’t even understand Percy’s reaction that evening, at the common room when Oliver told him his brilliant plan.

_________________________________

The look Angie SIlverblood was giving Percy Weasley told Oliver Wood everything he needed to know about the whole situation. He was ready to say something not very polite when Percy shook his head to the girl, in what looked suspiciously like agreement.

Suddenly, he had had it. He spent the whole day trying to get Percy to forgive him for god knew what, tried it all, and when he had that amazing plan he got that reaction from him? Bloody hell, it was as if he didn’t matter at all to Percy Weasley!

“Wow. Okay”, he found himself saying, not capable of keeping his hurt to himself, “You can simply tell me ‘no’, Weasley, no need to share those looks with Silverblood”

Percy scoffed making Oliver flinch a bit before the other boy’s look.

“Can I, Wood? Can I really? Because I don’t think that’s the case”, said Percy, making Oliver utterly confused. Were they actually fighting?

He didn’t even have the time to savor the fact that Weasley was finally talking to him again, no, he was too focused on that accusation to think about anything else. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, he asked, keeping his eyes on Percy, not letting it go to the other people staring at them, or even the third-years that had just entered the common room.

“You’re not seriously asking me that, Wood”, it was, perhaps, Percy’s tone that made Oliver suddenly mad.

“I am, actually. Can you at least talk to me without being a bloody asshole, Weasley, or is that too difficult for you?”

The common room suddenly fell quiet, and Oliver noticed Angie Bloody Silverblood all but pushing everyone out of there. He was, surprisingly, really grateful.

“Oh, so I’m the asshole? Of course, because how could Oliver Wood be anything but the victim, right?” shouted Percy.

“That is not fair!”

“It is fair because, guess what, it is the truth!”

Oliver couldn’t believe that was happening! Percy was actually mad because he had suggested they go out to fly again! As if the first time hadn’t ended up with both of them talking for hours! That’s what they needed, couldn’t Percy see that?!

“Where is all this coming from?”, he yelled. He hated how much he wanted to cry, he hated how Percy was making him feel! It wasn’t fair, he didn’t care about what Weasley said, it wasn’t fair! He just wanted to make things right and now they were fighting. Perhaps, he thought, Percy was right. Perhaps it was all his fault, still, he couldn’t see why couldn’t understand what he had done wrong.

“I don’t know! Perhaps you should ask my brother since you seem so fond of him and his stupid ideas!”, Percy shot back.

“What does Charlie have to do with this?”, Oliver asked, honestly confused.

“Everything! It has everything to do with him! And this, all this, is because of what he said to you, of how great it was you were finally making me someone cool! Fuck you, Wood! I don’t need you to make me better, okay? I am fine on my own!”

Oliver didn’t even get the chance to understand exactly what Percy had said before he stormed out of the room, leaving Wood there, alone and completely lost.

_____________________________

Wednesday, 7th of October, 1987

He was being stupid and childish. He knew that, however, for some reason, he couldn’t stop himself, and, actually, it felt kinda amazing to yell all that to Wood’s face. It was all so unfair, if Percy didn’t know Oliver enough, he would think he was honestly confused by Percy’s attitude.

But, honestly, how could he not see it? How he blushed and smiled more when he saw Charlie, how he used the fact that Percy saved his ass as if it were him doing a favor to Percy, only to impress Charlie.

Percy loved his brother. No, actually, he was like anyone else in that matter, he absolutely adored Charlie. But seeing Oliver - who was supposed to be his friend, who was supposed to love him more than anyone else in his family! - acting like that to impress Charlie hurt more than he cared to share.

And then he tried to do the exact same thing Charlie congratulated him about: bring Percy to detention again!

He couldn’t believe how self-centered Wood was! He hadn’t even realized how Percy had been feeling like shit for the past days, though couldn’t even explain why. Oliver Wood didn’t care enough about anyone except himself, that was bloody clear.

So of course he deserved everything Percy threw at him, and Angie Silverblood seemed to agree vehemently to that statement.

“I mean, he’s such an asshole, Weasley. Believe me, you’re better off without someone like that in your life. You need to be with people who make your life better not who make you feel part of their better life!”

They were both sited in a hidden place on the library Percy had found a week ago, whispering to each other not to disturb the ones who were studying. They didn’t have anywhere else to go, seeing that Percy refused to spend time in his room and the common Griffyndoor’s room, he didn’t want to see Oliver at all, so the library would have to do for the moment. It was also one of the places he knew Oliver would never set a foot on. To be fair, Angie also hated the place, grimacing every time her eyes fell on a book or in someone studying - which happened to be very often.

“I know that”, he said, but what he didn’t say was that Oliver made him feel that. Like only he mattered like there wasn’t anyone else in this world like Percy.

“Great! So stop thinking about that asshole and move on!”

___________________________

Friday, 9th of October 1987

“For fuck’s sake, Wood! If it bothers you that much just go talk to him!”, Mistbone yelled at Oliver two days later, shaking his hands in front of Oliver’s eyes in a failed attempt to make him pay attention to them.

“He has a point”, helpfully said Sam.

“I always have a point”, Andrew pointed out, making Sam scoff and Oliver roll his eyes.

“That’s bullshit”, he said.

Sam pointed his finger at Oliver as if he had just said something really clever, “I second that”

“Whatever. Assholes”, Andrew said, skulling at the boys, “Don’t change the subject, Wood!”

“He did change it!”, Sam said, as if just figuring it out.

“He did”, clarified Andrew, in a helpful tone.

“I did not! You did it yourself, Mistbone, saying stupid shit and expecting us to pretend we agree with it”, said Oliver, which, to be honest, was fair. Sam agreed with him if the way he was shaking his head was an indication.

“Can you please pick a side, Whittles?”, Andrew asked Sam, who simply shrugged.

“I agree with whoever makes more sense at the moment. However, you are being distracted by Wood again, so I can’t quite position myself on your side when you’re that stupid”

“Oi!”, Andrew said, while Oliver laughed. “Not cool, man”, Sam, however, only pointed at Wood, smiling briefly, “Oh, right. Don’t change the subject, Wood!”

“You already said that”, noted Oliver.

“Right. Well, I meant it!”, Mistbone’s attempt to sound angry made the three of them laugh so hard tears ran down Sam’s face at some point, “I am serious, though”, Andrew said, after they had all calmed down, “Perhaps you should go talk to him”

“I second that”

“You second a lot of things”, Oliver observed, while purposely not answering Mistbone.

“In my defense, y’all are two clever assholes”

“Sounds ‘bout right”

“Yep, you had me there”

There was silence for a while before Oliver sighed, “I’m not going to talk to him. I spent a whole day trying to make him even talk to me, he will come to me when he’s ready. And I am also mad at him! He was such an asshole! I don’t see why I should apologize when he was the one who yelled at me for absolutely no reason!”

The other two didn’t dare to say anything, they simply stared at Oliver, the miserable expression that accompanied him everywhere he went those last days. It was weird to be around Oliver without Percy, it was as if he was even wilder than usual, as if, without Percy there to shoot him looks telling him not to do some things, Oliver simply had no limit.

He had sneaked out the last two nights, simply got up in the middle of the night, leaving the room. He didn’t even bother to come back, they would simply see him in class - or, sometimes, not. They weren’t stupid, they knew he snicked out to fly around for hours as if he had some scary amount of energy to burn just so he could fall asleep during the first two classes of the day. He had gotten detention already, but he still didn’t seem like he was going to stop.

Andrew and Sam were starting to panic. Oliver was a zombie for half of the time and the other half he was a bloody hurricane destroying everything around him. It was stressful to watch it.

However, they knew it wasn’t fair to ask Weasley to take care of him, Wood should bring his shit together on his own. He just didn’t appear to feel like doing it.

They almost wanted to beg Oliver to sleep a whole night and go talk to Weasley so he could at least go back to his usual level of unrestlessness.

It was the same old ritual, it seemed, when, that night, Oliver got up and out of the room without saying a word to any of them, the door banging closed.

________________________

It was like he could breathe.

Wind on his face, rain all around him making him all wet and lost into the night, into the clouds, into that moment of nothingness.

So Oliver breathed and breathed and breathed until the rain on his face turned into tears and he was flying and falling and crying and dying. Everything felt wrong. So bloody wrong, and he didn’t even know why.

He couldn’t even blame Weasley for it. It was his fault, he felt suddenly self-destructive, angry, and tired. It was almost like that feeling had always been there but it had been triggered lately by… well, everything.

Mostly, though, his parents. And that story they told him. No, they didn’t tell him, that was the problem. They just said one of his mother’s friend’s son had passed away, then turned that into a lesson to Oliver.

But that wasn’t the right story, Oliver knew it for sure. He didn’t pass away like that, he was murdered, killed. He was killed because he was who he was! How dare his dad write to him that as a lesson! Because he hadn’t told Oliver not to kill anyone, he had told him not to date a boy. Not to kiss a boy. Not to fall in love with a boy, not to be a disgrace to his family as that boy was to his.

Perhaps it was around then that Oliver started to realize his parents weren’t who he thought they were. Because Oliver remembered to be so sure his parents were good people, so bloody sure! He now knew, however, that that wasn’t the case. Good people didn’t think like that. Good people could never justify murder with something like that!

Or perhaps they did. What was he thinking? How could he ever think something like that of his parents?! His lovely and sweet parents who loved him so much, who would do anything for him! He was as disgraceful as that boy!

Oliver cringed so hard at that thought he almost fell off the broom.

Perhaps he was the bad person, then.

Was he? A bad person?

Percy surely thought so. Percy. He should talk to Percy. Perhaps Percy knew who was right and who was wrong. Percy would know if the boy deserved his destiny or not. Percy knew everything.

Percy would know. Percy would be right because he was a good person.

He needed Percy so bloody much. But Percy didn’t need him and, honestly, he deserved a better friend than Oliver could be at that moment. So he kept flying, kept crying, kept crashing and breaking.

_________________________

Sunday, 11th of October, 1987

Percy was so aware of Oliver he couldn't quite believe Wood honestly thought, even for a second, no one would notice how he didn't sleep anymore. How he sneaked out every night and came back only after the sunrise - if he came back at all.

Sometimes, Percy would simply see him at breakfast or in-class - Oliver now usually slept through it. He looked tired and sad, it broke Percy's heart to even glance at him.

But he was still mad, just a little bit guilty for not helping Wood when he clearly needed.

"Stop thinking about it!", Angie hissed as they walked back to the Gryffindor's common room, shaking her head vehemently as if to prove a point.

"I can't! He's not sleeping, Angie!", Percy shot back, not really mad at Angie at all but himself. He was right to be mad, he didn't have to go save Wood, he could take care of himself. Except, apparently, he couldn't.

“That’s not your problem”, she helply pointed out, Percy being forced to agree.

“I know that!"

“Well, you don’t act as you know it, so can you really blame me?”

“I just… he’s not okay. I’ve never seen him like that”, Percy said, trying to defend himself. Not that Angie cared, she was happy if Percy was happy but Wood didn’t seem to make him anything except worried.

“I don’t give a shit if he’s not okay, Weasley. You shouldn’t either. Also, the fact that you've never seen him like that means nothing when you just met the guy!”

They stood before the fat lady as Angie stared at Percy, sighing.

“He’s not your problem to solve, Percy. He’s your friend, a shitty one at that. As his friend, you don’t have the obligation to make him okay, to make him eat, sleep, be happy. You can’t solve his problems in his place! He needs to grow the fuck up and solve them himself! You shouldn’t blame yourself for not babysitting him. Now, let’s go, I need to finish my homework!”

Hours later, Percy was still watching Oliver pretend he was alright to everyone, his cheeks burning with an anger he couldn’t quite explain. Wood was sitting across the room from Percy and Angie. The girl pretended she didn’t notice Wood’s presence at all, focused completely on her work, distractedly bit her nails as she stared at the word she wrote just seconds ago.

Percy envied her. He wished he could be so indifferent to Oliver the way she was, to not even glance at his direction once, to not feel his presence in the room. Percy was simply too aware of Oliver’s yawns to think about anything else besides where the other boy went to when he left the room, but mostly how the fuck hadn’t he got caught doing it.

He was ready to get up, already yelling at Wood when Angie said in a very calm tone it scared Percy, “Weasley. Please, stop looking, it’s embarrassing to even to me”

“I wasn’t looking”, he immediately defended himself. Angie, however, merely scoffed.

“Yeah, right. I’m sure you weren’t”

He was ready to answer when Oliver yawned again, making Percy’s blood hot. Oh, for fuck’s sake!

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake! You know what?”, Silverblood asked, demanding Percy’s attention while gesturing her hands in front of his eyes.

“What?”, he asked very lamely, still glancing at Wood.

“I think you should go talk to him. Clearly, I don’t understand what’s between you two, but if I’m being completely honest, I don’t know why you are that mad at him either, so perhaps I’m the confused one here. Look”, she said, whispering so no one else heard them, “I get that you got upset because of his brother, but are you really sure he did that to hurt you, or even knowing it was such a delicate manner? I hate to defend Wood, however, it does sound a bit odd, why would he do something to bother you if he gets all sad and insomniac when you’re not around? It doesn’t add up.”

“Perhaps whatever is going on with him has nothing to do with me altogether”, Percy said.

“Perhaps, though I don’t think that’s the case. At least not in the way you’re thinking. So perhaps you should find out, you care enough about him, which is killing you right now. Although I stand by what I said earlier, about how he should solve his own shit, perhaps you could be there to help him out. Only because you want to, though, not because you feel like you have to. Again, you don’t owe him shit.”

“I know. I’ll think about it”, said Percy.

Angie nodded in agreement, “Great. Now, stop bitching about your lover and help me out”

“He’s not my lover!”

“It sure sounds like it. Except you don’t actually get the good part of the relationship. Mate, you should consider breaking up, he’s a piece of garbage”

Percy laughed loudly then asked, “Who should I date, then? You?”

It was Angie’s turn to laugh, “Yeah right, as if you could pull me”

He looked at her, a bit offended, “Well, if I can’t pull you, who can?”

“No one, really. There’s just no one as good as me, so I’m destined to be alone forever, which I am a hundred percent fine with if the other option is marrying someone like Wood or Mistbone.” Angie said, smiling.

“Well, that’s not fair! I never said I wanted to marry someone!”

“You don’t have to say anything, Weasley, I’m not stupid nor blind. Everyone who knows you can see that you’re a hopeless romantic”

Percy looked at her for a second, considering what he should say after this ridiculous accusation besides denying it again but all he could come up with was, “Am not”

Angie scoffed, “You so are. It’s not a bad thing, you know. People usually think everything I say is bad things, that I mean everything in a mean way. I really don’t understand why”, she said.

“Um. Yeah, no idea”, said Percy, trying to sound honestly confused.

“It is weird, I just don’t care enough to ask nor to explain myself, anyway. That’s not really the point, though. We were talking about your romantic life aspiration”

“Life aspiration?”

“Do you have a better word for it?”, Angie asked.

“Not really.”

“That’s what I thought. Well, anyway, I think it’s sweet and cute.”, she quickly added, when looking at his puzzled expression, “If you tell anyone I ever used the words “sweet” and “cute” in the same sentence… no, better yet, if you even mention I ever said anything like that, you’re dead, Weasley.”

“I would never even dream of it”, he assured her.

“Good. I know that I just making sure. Sorry for the threatening, though.” Angie apologized.

“Don’t worry about it”

As the time passed, they talked about a bit of everything. Even though Percy missed Oliver’s snarky remarks, loud laughs, and multiple scoffs, he also really enjoyed Angie’s wittiness, sarcastic comments, and eye-rolls. He could very well see why they didn’t like each other, it was one of those cases where they could adore or despise the other. It made Percy a bit sad that they had chosen the latter, but it also made him a lot more grateful for it.

Angie never really explained why she thought Percy was such a hopeless romantic. Percy was completely fine with that, he was glad to drop the subject altogether.

The conversation went on for a while, Angie’s ironic remarks making Percy laugh, Percy’s view of the world making Angie like him a bit more. What he failed to notice was that every time he looked at Oliver, Angie’s smile getting bigger and bigger.

Years later, she would confess to Wood in one of the different conversations they had daily that she was the first one to realize Percy and Oliver were made for each other. What she didn’t know was that her words broke his already in pieces heart.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.