fade into you

A faint noise cluttered from the downstairs kitchen, signalling that someone has finally woken from their slumber. Regulus was alert at once, climbing out of bed to greet the member of the household. As he strode down the stairs of the manor, every so often an ancient stair would creak softly, it’s aged past revealing itself to everyone who finds themselves walking on a specific part of the stairwell.

When he reached the last step, he found himself peering curiously at the picture to the right of him, admiring it with a peculiar sort of longing deep rooted in his stomach. It was a beautifully captured moment of the Potter family at the beach, James around four or five, his mother and father beaming down at him as he had successfully built a toppling sand castle. Regulus knew he would never a family quite like the Potters, he never had before at Grimmauld Place.

Begrudgingly, he tore his eyes away from the photograph, his gut swelled with yearning and dismay that he had never experienced a childhood quite like that. Although he could still be seen as a child, at fifteen, he felt as though he held burdens as hefty as a full grown man at his age. Conceivably, he could be seen as narcissistic to believe such a thing, but seeing the way James grew up, the way James is treated by his wonderful parents. Regulus knew he could and would never experience such affection from a parental figure.

No once could be seen in the kitchen, until Regulus glanced down to find Winky the house elf staring up at him with a sweet smile plastered to her face.

“Master Regulus!” Winky squeaked, he voice seemingly more high pitched than usual, a gratitude towards Regulus for having someone to serve so early in the morning.

He took in the house elf’s appearance, her petit floral dress she wore, nothing like Kreachers old rag, and the mismatched pair of socks.

“Morning Winky, how are you today?” Regulus replied, poorly attempting to feign out the sleep that rang through his dull voice.

“Winky is feeling splendid , thank you Master Regulus!” she enthusiastically responded, “Is there anything Winky can get for you?”

“A cup of coffee would be lovely, thank you Winky.”

Winky bowed and set of to make the cup of coffee requested by Regulus, as he cautiously placed himself upon the stool surrounding the island in the centre of the kitchen.

Looking around the wondrously queer environment, he noticed several compelling artefacts within each shelf and tabletop. It’s airy feel to the sweet-smelling room engrossed Regulus immensely, books stacked in what seemed to be every corner, plants ready to be watered by Effie, as the sunlight poured blissfully through its homey demeanour. Compared to the basement kitchen at the House of Black, this seemed like heaven on Earth. Anything a man could want in life.

His thoughts were automatically disturbed by another pair of footsteps making their way downstairs, and to Regulus’s surprise, it was not James as he had suspected, but his brother.

Sirius looked as though he were apart of a rock band, his black ‘Bowie’ t- shirt matched with black jogging bottoms, topped off with last nights smudged eyeliner circling his azure eyes.

Regulus smirked at this knowledge, as he did not think that Sirius knew that he looked rather worn-down, and the last thing you would ever want to tell Sirius was that he looked ‘worn-down’.

Regulus smugly motioned his pointer finger close to his own under eye, “You have a little something just…..there.”

Sirius glared at his brother for a moment, not quite believing what he was saying, until he purposefully strode to the closed window and took in his presence. He gave a small shriek after he saw the messed up eyeliner, until he composed himself thoroughly and stated dramatically,

“I could have sworn I took this off last night!” Sirius dragged on the ‘t’ in night for as long as he could before it seemed borderline ridiculous.

Regulus gave out a hearty snort, “Don’t worry dear brother, it looks edgy and mysterious if you look at it from a certain angle.”

“You think?” He replied expectantly.

Regulus tilted his head as if to mock judge his older brother, “No.” he stated after a couple of seconds of silence, “You look as if you have been dragged through a pig sty.”

Sirius snarled, and pointed his nose up at the shorter boy, and bounded off back up the stairs to, hopefully Regulus pondered, to remove the pit of darkness beneath his eyelashes. Winky shortly came over to deliver his coffee, which he had momentarily forgotten about at the arrival of Sirius. He thanked her gratefully, and also followed in Sirius’s footsteps upstairs.

An hour later, the five of them sat down at the breakfast table, conversing over pancakes and waffles that had been splayed about by Effie for each person. Sirius seemed to have been able to abolish the depressing goop around his eyes, and James sat unusually quiet, staring distantly at his pancake as to not indulge in the conversation happening between Fleamont and Sirius.

“……if you think about it logically, ABBA is obviously the correct choice, I mean really Fleamont? The Smiths?” Sirius’s affronted voice travelled throughout, and Fleamont taken aback at Sirius’s opinion on musicians.

“Don’t get me wrong Sirius, I listened to the old record player of yours with the muggle…. What’s it called? Vinyls, that’s it, but that one song that goes ‘du du go out tonight, but I haven’t got a stitch to wearrr.” Fleamont dragged on the last note comically, and Sirius barked a joyous laughter at the older man’s antics, whilst James had a small smile playing on his features.

Sirius sighed in defeat, “I’m going to have to agree with you there Fleamont, a great tune, a great tune.” he bowed drastically and it was Fleamonts turn to bellow a jovial laugh, it’s gleefulness radiating throughout the kitchen to where Effie stood whipping up some more delicious pancakes. Her gleaming yellow sunflower apron reflected her husbands pale yellow tie, indicating he was soon to leave for the Ministry. Fleamont worked in the Department of Magical Law enforcement, the well needed sleep he always came home to displayed the tiresome effort he put into his job. Regulus respected his ambition and dedication to, in his opinion, a very tedious occupation, feeling he would never be able to show up to work everyday, and would be burnt out before the day even started.

Fleamont hurriedly checked his watch, and his eyes widened at the time, meaning he was, like most days, late.

“Oh my, is that the time already? I better be off, enjoy the day everyone!” He stood up after taking one last bite of his pancake, pecked Effie on the cheek and absentmindedly waved to the broadness of the table, mutely saying goodbye.

Before anyone had the chance to strike up another conversation, Effie handed them all some more pancakes, which James and Sirius found themselves diving into at once with some ‘Thank you Effie’s’ muffled between their almost grossly full mouths. Regulus politely declined this offer, feeling if he ate another pancake he would throw up.

Effie took a seat next to James and regarded to each of them, her pleasant, motherly tone intact, “What are you three planning to get up to today?” she questioned, speaking between mouthfuls of waffles.

James looked up at this, his voice cracking from not speaking in a while, “Probably going to play some quidditch in the garden, perfect weather today” All of them simultaneously looked outside to observe the outside, nodding their heads along in agreement.

“And, of course, we are to expect dear Petey-poo-poo-pie, and my stunning, perfect, incredible boyfriend Moony to join us.” announced Sirius proudly, a mischievous grin smothered on his face.

“Well that’s lovely then, what time will they be arriving so I can arrange lunch?” beamed Effie, unfortunately reminding Regulus of the photograph in the hallway.

James replied, “Around nine? Is that okay mum?”

“If course it’s okay darling.”

With a flick of her wand she cleared the plates away, appearing in the sinks instantly after, already magically being scrubbed by the bewitched like green brush.

“Ready to lose, Black brothers?” James playfully suggested.

Regulus and Sirius exchanged a subtle glance, and both smirked, making them look even more like brothers than they did before.

“You’re on Potter.”

An hour later, the doorbell rang, and Sirius was the first to sprint carelessly to its attention. He flung the door open to find a tall, scarred boy standing in the doorway, clad in a soft grandpas jumper, and blue muggle jeans. The doc martins on his feet matched Sirius’s, and made him even taller than he already was. His face flushed at the sight of his shorter boyfriend, and immediately embraced him in a tight hug, and intimate sign of a love shared between two people, a bond never to be broken. Remus leant down to kiss Sirius delicately, “Hi.”

“I missed you Moony.” Sirius replied, his face seemed to have softened at the sight of Remus, even if it was currently embedded into his shoulder. Regulus did not even know his brother could make that face. He noiselessly turned away from the two, to not intrude more than he already had, and walked back over to where James stood waiting for them at the entrance to the garden.

“You must have a thing for loosing Potter, if your so willing to play against me again.” Regulus commented competitively, provoking James about his last loss against him.

James eyed him up and down, assessing him in a suggestive manner, “I don’t think I’ll have to worry Reg, I could easily crush you, and not just in quidditch if you catch my drift, broom boy.” He rolled his eyes playfully and stalked passed him to greet Remus, and now Peter who had arrived during their small discussion.

What James had said to his hadn’t originally registered in his mind, but as he stood here, jaw slack and mouth agape at his words, they slowly processed in his mind. ‘Crush him?’ Regulus did not know if he should feel offended at this, but he was too taken-aback to think of what else he could mean by crushing him. Sure, James was very good at quidditch, everybody knew that. But would he go as far to push him off of his broom during a match, and ‘crush him’?

After multiple games of quidditch, with interchanging teams and wins and losses, they all retired into the living room. To Regulus’s belief, contradictory or not, this was the coziest room in the house. The high cream-coloured ceiling, lined with interior pillars that looked as though they were as old as time, look down on the five boys. They were sprawled about on the three sofas provided, passing round a joint to share. Sirius and Remus occupied one sofa, with Sirius glued to Remus’s side, giggling occasionally. Peter lay out on the floor, staring up at the ceiling as if to contemplated life, and everything he had ever done.

On the other hand, Regulus and James sat loosely beside each other, probably to close to be called friendly, but each boy were to wrapped up in the feelings they were experiencing to care.

Regulus felt as if he were floating, as though his brain had finally been rid of negativity, replaced with a warm feeling of contempt. He wished he could stay like this forever, although he would never say this out loud to anyone. Leaning backwards into James’s arms slightly, to where he was laying back against the headrest of the sofa horizontally, looking down at Regulus. Regulus might as well have been on top of him, his head on James’s chest, hair resting on his chin. James could feel Regulus everywhere.

Regulus watched James observingly through his eyelashes as he watched James’s pupils dilate even more now that he was staring at him. Regulus let out a laugh that had been stuck in his throat, having no cares in the world for the things around him. Only James at this moment.

Effie had gone to bed not long before this, not having any idea of what is going on downstairs. Fleamont had come home whilst they were outside, indulged in an intense game of quidditch.

Regulus felt himself closing his eyes for a moment, curling into James even more, and drifting off into a dreamless sleep, inhaling the scent of the body below him.