fade into you

Regulus awoke with a start, feeling as though he was being pulled down below the surface of the Earth, to his inevitable death. He regained his conscience, looking around to find James’s arm wrapped firmly around his waist, compressing him into his chest. Startling, his brain racked through the memories of last night, the joint, closing his eyes for a second to let them rest, James’s scent swarming his nose.

Trying not to wake James, Regulus manoeuvred his chin to squint over the headrest of the sofa, to where he spotted Sirius and Remus, wound together, unable to tell where their limbs ended and met. Across from them, Peter was passed out on the floor like a starfish, his head pointing towards the intruding wooden fireplace. Regulus focused his gaze on James, taking in his slightly ajar mouth as he slept restfully, his chestnut hair outspread in every direction and how his eyelashes twitched every now and then. Regulus had no intention of moving from the older boys chest, and settled back into a calming sleep soundlessly.

The sunlight from the enlarged glass-paned window crept inaudibly within the living room, stirring Regulus from his drowse.

Someone above him let out an irritable cough, “What in the name of Merlin is this all about? Hm?” Sirius dramatically motioned to where Regulus and James lay bound together.

“Piss off Sirius.” replied Regulus, reluctantly making a break through of James’s arm. Sirius, Remus and Peter had obviously been woken by the change in weather, Regulus throwing a scowling look to Peter when he wolf-whistled in his and James’s direction.

James seemed to have come to his senses, batting his eyes frequently to understand the current situation. “What’s going on?” But when he tried to sit up, a weight above him banished him down into a slump. James blushed pathetically.

“Oh. Hello Regulus.”

“James.”

Sirius looked between them both, with disgust, and placed his hand on his head in apparent deep thought.

“I simply cannot allow this scandalous behaviour.” He remarked after a minute of silence. “This is my baby brother James and you will not, I repeat, not be coercing him into your weirdly big arms EVER again or you will be in need of big slap in that head of yours.”

“Merlins balls Sirius you’re acting like you just walked in on us bloody shagging.” The regret poured over James’s face was visible to everyone standing around the two of them, knowing he should have kept them words to himself.

Sirius’s outraged expression, was enough to make anyone flee the vicinity. “How dare you.” Sirius made out to grab James by the scruff of his collar, but before he could, James lifted Regulus off of his lap,placed him of the sofa and kissed his forehead to spur Sirius on even more. Regulus spluttered out as James’s lips connected with his head, the moment utterly bewildering the entire room.

“Gotta run my dear, big scary man’s going to kill me.” James winked at him and began sprinting out of the room, to make a head start on Sirius.

Sirius began to chase James, his face painted red with anger and a hint of confusion at the scene before him.

“Who do you reckon will win?” Remus joked at the absurdity of the situation.

“Sirius.” Regulus and Peter replied in unison.

James and Sirius had in the end come to an agreement, with some protest from James, and holding him down and making him swear that James would not ruin his brothers innocence. Effie and Fleamont had woken up at the sound of the racket from downstairs, an ushered everyone into the kitchen to have some breakfast after James and Sirius had worked things out.

“What where you two fighting about anyway?” asked Effie through a mouthful of toast. Her heart was pinned back today in a low bun, Regulus noticed that it suited her very much so.

All five boys looked at each other, encouraging one of them to speak up about the ‘argument’.

James shuffled in his chair, “So what happened was-”

“James and Regulus were cuddling and Sirius thoughthattheywereshagging.” Peters voice was hurried and indistinguishable, and clearly not being able to take the pressure of the lie James would have surely made up, he sputtered it all out at once.

Effie looked at him curiously, “What was that dear? Would you like some water?”

Peter shrunk in on himself and nodded solemnly, and it was taking all that Regulus had not to start laughing.

James coughed loudly to break the silence that followed the question, “What Peter meant was that Sirius and I were having a disagreement over who could……uhh…..yeah….who could throw a rag at Regulus first, you know ragging….”

Remus physically face planted into his hands, it was a well known fact that James could not lie, but Regulus did not know it was that bad. His eyes were beginning to tear up with laughter, and he had to grab a napkin to pretend to dab away crumbs at the corner of his mouth. Sirius looked perplexed, as if he could not believe that his best friend had said something so very daft.

Fleamont had an eyebrow raised at his son, coming up from reading the Daily Prophet to involve himself in the bizarre conversation. “Ragging?, I’ve never heard such a thing before.”

James stared at his father in agony, silently wishing for this whole day to hurry up and finish so he does not have to sit through this torture.

Instead Sirius spoke up, “Ragging is when you compete against another person to see who can put a rag in someone’s mouth first, in this case Regulus.” He spoke unusually calm, desperately not wanting the secret to be let out.

Fleamont shrugged it off with a, “Poor Regulus.” And turned back to read his newspaper. Regulus wordlessly thanked James Potters dad for stopping the awkwardness captivating the table, he could tell that everyone was wondering the same.

Effie came back with Peters water, who gulped it down in one big sip, trying to moisture his dry throat.

“James, your father and I would like to discusss something with you, something you have been wanting to do, now that you are sixteen.” James had his birthday a month ago, and seemed to be looking excitedly at his mother, “Fleamont honey?”

Fleamont placed his newspaper on the table and looked over to where his son sat opposite him, the other boys looking between them with pure interest.

“Oh yes, boys now that you are all sixteen, except Regulus, but that can be sorted out do not worry, Effie and I are allowing you to go to the muggle club that we saw in London.” Fleamont looked seriously at James and Sirius, who were practically bouncing in their seats with anticipation, “But there will be strict rules to ensure safety, I do not think your mothers would be very happy if you came back with any missing limbs.” Even though it could be seen as a joke, Fleamont and Effie where looking as severe as the day is long.

Effie began to explain some of the rules to the boys, who were each gleaming with eagerness at the news. The rules included not drinking too much, as this was ‘unfamiliar environment to all of you’ ,be careful, times of when to be home, how they were going to get home etc. Regulus, only being a year younger, would be allowed into the club with an ‘accompanying adult’ aka Sirius.

The muggle club that would be attending was on the outskirts of London, and the singular most important rule was to not use magic.

Regulus was dressed in an all black outfit, with black muggle jeans that Sirius leant him, and a cotton black turtleneck to match. They would all be leaving soon to get the knight bus there, as the time read 7:46. Leaving his room, he bumped into none other than James Potter, with his red converse, blue muggle jeans and white jumper. Regulus thought he looked like the United Kingdom flag, but that was to keep his find off of the fact he looked extremely good.

James cleared his throat, “Hey Reg, ready to go? You look… very nice.. yeah.” He assessed Regulus’s outfit, trailing of on the last of his sentence, his mouth wide open. Regulus was not sure if he should be offended at the way James was looking at him.

“Yep, and thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.” Regulus replied and started to walk down the stairs.

Regulus could feel James’s gaze burning through him, in an almost sinful way, but continued walking to not make it awkward, He could hear James beginning to follow him down.

Downstairs waiting were Sirius, Remus, Peter, all set to go.

“Right, you all be safe, James, you know what to do if anything goes wrong, okay dear?” said Effie.

“Yep mum! All ready, and thank you.” Effie rushed over to hug them all, kissing James on the cheek as she did.

The knight bus was not fun. It’s flung its passengers every which way, and Regulus then decided he would never get on that death machine ever again. Sirius and James however, seemed to very much enjoy it, pushing each other along with the bus, toppling over and tripping about. After stepping off, he felt sick rising in his throat, but as soon as he saw the club, it rushed back down. Even the clubs entrance was overwhelming, the bright neon lights glimmered down on the boys as they joined the queue to get in. The bouncer let them in, not without sparing a quick glance at Regulus and winking, which was either letting him in even though he was too young, or winking in a different manner. Sirius hastily pulled him away and into the club.

He leant down and whispered into Regulus’s ear, “Don’t let anyone touch you Reg, if you need help just signal alright.”

Whatever Regulus had expected it was not this. The club was crowded with numerous amounts of people dancing and shuffling to a song, that Remus had said was Queen distantly, barely making out anyones faces in the mist of individuals. A bar was stretched along the left side, with barmen working ferociously to get everyone their beverages. Sirius and Remus had gone to get drinks for everyone, whilst James, Peter and Regulus sat down in a booth in the corner.

Remus and Sirius soon joined them, balancing five drinks combined in their hands.

Regulus took a sip and his face crinkled with disgust, “What is this?”

Sirius snorted, “Firewhiskey little bro.” Regulus had heard of firewhiskey, intoxicating the one who drinks it, but had never tried it before. He started to down it to get rid of the taste. To feel free.

“Whoa calm down Reg, or you will throw up.” James stated, glaring at him with suspicion. Remus and Sirius had gone off to dance with the crowd, leaving James and Regulus with Peter, who seemed all to interested by a girl at the bar. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his brother dancing very close to Remus.

Regulus rolled his eyes, “I can handle my drink Jamie.”

“I don’t think you can Reggie.” retaliated James, enjoying the look on the youngest face at his challenge.

“Wanna bet?” said Regulus, narrowing his eyes, like he did in quidditch when he was looking for the snitch.

“Definitely not, Sirius will be the one looking after you when you’re off your rocker, but I don’t think he will be much help at the moment.” Regulus side glanced again, and Remus and Sirius had somehow gotten closer. He gave a shudder.

“Yeah I think the only thing Sirius is helping right now is his dick.”

James nearly spat out his drink at Regulus’s provocative words, a smug smile plastered Regulus’s features at his success.

Regulus stood up out of his seat, “I’m going to get another drink.”

He made his way through the bustling bodies dancing roughly against each other towards the bar. Leaning against the edge of the bar to be served, he felt a hand on his waist, making him now alert and facing the culprit. The man before him must have been in his late twenties at least, with bright blond hair and blue eyes, piercing his soul. Regulus stared at him in shock, wishing form him to remove his hand from his waist.

“Hey.” the stranger said deeply, his voice bouncing off and into his ears, filling his senses, “You look like you could use some fun.”

Regulus started to move away from him, but the man held onto him tighter, he was much taller and stronger than Regulus, knowing he would not win the freedom.

“I’m fifteen.” his voice came out shakily, hoping the man would back off now he knew his age.

“Ah, I won’t tell if you don’t.” throwing a smirk Regulus’s way, that he probably though was flirtatious.

Regulus was extremely uncomfortable, and was surprised that the man could not feel him tensing under his grip, “No thanks.” The stranger did not take this well, and pulled Regulus much closer so that they were not touching bodies.

“What’s your name pretty boy?” The man moved his free hand to his hair to tuck a strand of black curls behind his ear.

“Anything I can get for you?” The barman with brown hair and green alluring eyes interrupted their discussion, and Regulus tried to give the man a signal with his eyes that he was uncomfortable. The barman seemed to understand at once.

“Hey man, he doesn’t want you touching him, go find someone else who wants it.” The man had a strong welsh accent, and Regulus had never felt more grateful for someone in his life.

The blond man grunted and shuffled away, muttering ‘whore’ under his breath.

“You okay?” The barman asked, with sincerity filling his eyes. Regulus could easily tell he felt sorry for him.

“I think so.. What did you mean by ‘wants it’? Regulus questioned, hating how naive his tone sounded.

The barman looked taken aback by the query, “He wanted to shag you darling, anyway what drink would you like?”

Regulus momentarily forgot what he was here for, “But that man was way older than me, couldn’t he tell I was way younger thank him?”

The barman sighed disdainfully, “There is a lot of bad people in this world, who take and take even if people are opposed to their ideas, don’t let them take control.” Regulus pondered this for a moment, deciding not to carry on the odd conversation with a man he did not know.

“Firewhiskey please.”

He sat back down at the booth, and James could instantly tell something was wrong. Regulus knew he must look in an intense state of despair for James to know that he was troubled, so quickly.

“Reg, what’s up?” James’s voice was laced with worry, and Regulus felt bad for what he was about to do, and not tell him about what had happened at the bar.

“Oh…nothing, nothing.” said Regulus, “Wanna dance?.”

James and Regulus were now in the centre of the dance floor, with Regulus feeling very floaty, as if his mind was somewhere else, telling him to do things no matter the extreme. They were dancing to the song ‘Love my way’ as James had told him, their hips swaying close together to the music. Regulus had his arms wrapped around James’s shoulder blades, with his arms on Regulus’s waist once more. Despite the closeness of their bodies, leaving no room for air, something was troubling James.

Regulus was slurring all his words, his brain not comprehending things fast anymore, but rather slow, the blinding lights and bellowing music clouding his mind.

“What’s wrong Jamieeeee.” observed Regulus drunkenly.

“What happened at the bar Regulus.” James gritted these words through his teeth angrily, as if he had been wanting to say them forever.

“Ohhhh that, just this man wanting to shag me according to the barman.” he waved this off as if it did not matter, but to James it seemed to mean plenty. He had stopped dancing and pulled Regulus off to a secluded corner, away from the ambiance of people. .

“Jamessss, I was dancinggg.” pouted Regulus defiantly, not understand why James had stopped dancing.

“Man? How old? Did he touch you? I’ll kill him.” Regulus had never seen James like this, eyebrows furrowed, nose pointed down on him, gripping his wrist tightly.

Regulus took him a little more seriously now, not wanting to anger James even more, “Late twenties maybeee? And he held my waist and wanted to shag me said the barman when I asked him….I don’t know James can we dance more please?”

“Regulus…What did he look like?”

“It doesn’t matter Jamessss please drop it.”

“NO Regulus.” insisted James, but seeing the look on Regulus face made him lower his voice, the last thing he wanted to do was worry the boy, “What did he look like? No one is allowed to touch you without consent and get away with it, that man is a pervert Reg.”

Regulus had creased his brows, not liking James infuriated with him, and answered his questions without complaint. He told him about his appearance and what he told him, and about the barman helping him.

“He also whispered under his breath that….” Regulus almost didn’t want to say it. He felt ashamed for a reason he could not work out.

“What did he say Reg?”

“He called me a whore, I know it’s rude but I don’t know why he called me it and I’m really sorry James I tried to stop-“

Before he could react, James had pulled him into a hug, “It is not your fault Reg, don’t apologise.” And squeezed him tighter.

“Can we dance again now?” Regulus asked quietly.

“Of course.”

The rest of the night was, in Regulus’s opinion, entertaining. Regulus had not told Sirius about what happened, nor had James, both saving it until the morning. They all ended up stumbling back home, the knight bus being much more fun to ride when drunk, singing off-key through the streets all hanging on to one another as to not fall. Effie and Fleamont stayed up waiting eager to hear how the night went and Regulus’s bed was calling to him. It had been one of the greatest nights of his life, and was in need of a well-earned sleep.

Before he went to bed, he drunkenly strolled into James’s room and lied down onto his bed to thank him for what he did at the bar, and the threat to kill the man. But when he sat on James’s bed he felt sleep pulling him in, and tried his best to stay awake. James’s bed was very comfy, very comfy indeed. The blankets seemed to suck him into a deep, confined sleep.