September 2 1972
It’s done. I’m in Slytherin, and Sirius hates me. We didn’t sit together on the train. As soon as mother finished her lecture Sirius ran away as quickly as he possibly could. I tried to go after him, but I wasn’t able to find him. I ended up running into Narcissa who took it upon herself to introduce me to a bunch of upper year Slytherins, including her soon to be husband, Lucius, who is just as slimy and greasy as his name makes him sound. I ended up in a boat with Bartemius Crouch Jr. and a few other boys who I didn’t recognize. When the sorting happened I was called up fifth or sixth and I saw the hope and excitement on Sirius’ face and I saw the absolute despair when after nearly a minute of deliberation the hat yelled out Slytherin. I knew in that moment that there would be no hope of any kind of repair to the relationship that we once had. I know that he still loves me, but he also feels that I betrayed him by deciding on Slytherin.
The hat wanted to put me in Ravenclaw. It makes sense, I always have loved learning about anything and everything that I can, reading as many books as I can and testing my own theories, but I couldn’t do anything but get into Slytherin. I may be the spare but it appears as though I might be needed as the heir, Sirius, is on track to soon get disowned. I worry about what he will do when that happens. I know his house alone isn’t enough to be disowned, but it appears as though it is nothing more than the very start of it all. Soon he will become to rash to worry about any punishments that mother will dole out and will have to run to save himself. Although I don’t wish to I will take on the responsibility of heir if I have to. I know that that is a long way off, but when it comes down to it I will do what I have to do to keep Sirius safe. It has always been known that if the spare fails when the heir is still alive the heir will be forced back into their previous position and that would be worse for Sirius that any death or torture will be for him.
Sirius hates me, and I don’t know how to even function. He hates me, the only person I was sure would always love me now hates me. I can’t change what has happened though so I just need to let go and give it all up.
-RAB