Harry had hidden a piece of himself away. A piece that seemed not to want to go away as much as he tried to push it away. He knew it was wrong. He knew it was freakish and not-normal. He hated himself for it. He did his best to keep it hidden and to keep it secret. There was no way he could be his true self. The minister himself had even come to Harry and told him that because Harry was a hero, a role model for the community, he could not be this way. He had to set an example for others. He had to be the poster boy of the ministry, which meant being normal and not different or strange in any way. After the war, there was a lot of clean up to do and a lot of discord and distrust that the Ministry had to fix. Harry had to do his duty by helping the Ministry re-organize itself and establish better laws, so that they all could live in peace and harmony. This meant getting rid of old pure-blood laws that hurt their world, tightening the statue of secrecy, ending creature bans and registration, as well as opening orphanages, rebuilding Hogwarts and introducing more classes at Hogwarts like wizarding culture and law. He also helped preside over the trials of all the death eaters by making all trials use veritaserum. He helped those whom he owed debts to and helped Andromeda take care of Teddy, his godson. But being the poster boy meant that Harry had to show that he led a very normal life. He had show others how to act and behave in their society. He had to be more morally upstanding than the other citizens of Wizarding Britain. If that meant hiding a piece of himself away, then so be it.
This became more difficult as the years went on and he couldn't enjoy the life he wanted because he had to hide a part of himself away. The press was ruthless and tried to corner Harry and ask personal questions that Harry did his best to avoid.
The Ministry had Harry on a potion to suppress this part of him. Harry knew it was the only way to survive. It was the only way to keep up the charade. He didn't like taking it, but if he didn't it would ruin everything.
He had admitted to himself that yes, he was gay and that was not changing. He would not "become" straight ever. This was something he could not help. He would never be normal. He was Harry James Potter, when was his life ever normal?
He still kept it hidden and secret because he didn't want to deal with the fallout of "coming out". He knew that his life would be ten times worse if he came out. The ministry and press would hound him worse than they were now. He would never have a quiet, peaceful life. He hated it. He just wanted to be normal. He didn't want his personal business to be flaunted in the press. It was his business and no body else's!
The Minister tried to threaten Harry, but Harry just smirked and said "Go ahead and fire your best Auror, your Savior, try to defame me in the paper. You can't and you won't. You need me. Don't threaten me to be with a girl. I will not live a lie. Either accept I will never date or let me date who I want." The Minister knew Harry was right. He dropped it and let Harry continue to be single.
Harry's attraction to his Auror partner did not help things. They only made them worse. Harry tried to squash the feelings down. He ignored them and tried to forget about them, but they refused to go away! His attraction only grew. Harry found himself falling in love with his Auror partner. Falling in love with someone he could never have. It was frustrating. It hurt Harry to continue to work with the man he loved, when he could never be with him.
Harry's inner struggle also included self-hate that he had gained from his relatives The Dursley's. He knew he was unloveable, unwanted, undesirable, and ugly. He was a freak. He was nothing but a burden. He was nothing. He would never be lucky enough to be in a romantic relationship. No one would ever love him like that.
The pressure kept building though. His two best friends even pushing him to find a girl. It was all too much. He couldn't handle it anymore. He took some time to figure out what he really wanted.
After talking to some other friends, he realized he didn't want to hide anymore. He was done being controlled and manipulated. He wanted to live for himself, not others.
Harry got his affairs in order. He sold Grimmauld Place and talked to Andromeda about moving with him to the States where he could finally be free and live in peace. He found a place for all three of them to live. He wrote his letter of resignation and handed it in at the end of the week.
He wrote a letter to the prophet to be published and boarded a plane, with Andromeda and Teddy in tow, headed for New York the next day.
Dear Wizards and Witches,
I, Harry James Potter, am tired of being your poster boy. I am done being manipulated and controlled. I have done everything for you people, including dying! I have done my duty, it is now my turn to live the way I want to. I am not your savior or your hero. I am just Harry. I am just a wizard who wants to love and be loved like everyone else. I have had to hide a piece of myself because I needed to set an example for others and be a role model. Well no more. I am gay. I don't care what anyone else thinks. It is normal. I can't change who I am. The minister even tried to change me and force me into a heterosexual relationship. I refuse to live a lie. I will not be forced to do anything I don't want to anymore. You cannot control me any longer. I am my own person and I get to make my own decisions about how I live my life. Even my so called two best friends refused to listen to me. Now I am truly done. I have resigned from the Aurors and moved out of the country. At first I wanted to keep this private because it really is nobody's business, but I knew people would try to come looking for me or even force me to come back if I didn't at least say why I left. I left because I was not welcome to be myself here. I left because I want to live in peace and maybe even find love. Please don't look for me. Please just let me live in peace. Thank you.
Harry JamesPotter
When Harry's letter hit the prophet, Wizarding Britain was in for a rude awakening. They were shocked and outraged. Not at Harry, but the ministry and Harry's friends. They demanded to know why Harry was pushed away for something that was widely accepted in the wizarding world. The ministry declined to answer. The minster was voted out the next election. Harry's two best friends were ashamed and ridiculed by others for having a hand in pushing him away. Wizarding Britain hoped that Harry would find the peace and love he so deserved.
Harry receive many letters of well-wishers and support. His other friends even sent him letters of support. Harry's two best friends tried to apologize, but Harry could not forgive them. They had let him down one to many times. He would never be their friends again.
Harry was able to get off the potion the ministry put him on. He was able to walk around and not be recognized. He was able to be just Harry for once. He was free. He finally found his peace.
Harry even found love, when his former Auror partner tracked him down, after leaving everything behind to be with him, and showed Harry just lovable, desirable, wanted, and beautiful he truly was.
THE END