What's your dick intake?
Harry's apartment for more or less had become a demon hangout, In the last week alone he's had 5 demons randomly popping in his living room at dinner asking for the "THE MAGIC SANDWICH"
It would be annoying if they weren't so nice about it, there was no demands or contracts or demonic voice or blood on the walls , well there was that one time with Theodore but he was very apologetic and cleaned it up all nicely.
His sandwich skill had been improved as well since the whole thing began.His luck had seemed to improve too and he wasn't sure if he could attribute the whole thing on his sandwiches or the reputation he had gotten but honestly Harry didn't want to know anyways.
But right now Blasie a fire demon with literally flames for horns was sitting in front of him going on about how he was cheated on.
This was another thing Harry didn't realise demon had problems too and could get cheated on as well.
"And she had the audacity to cheat on me with a water demon, A Water demon Harry!" Blasie cried out. Harry didn't know how to console a wizard let alone a demon so he just carefully patted him on the shoulder hoping not to get burned.
"There There"
"And you know what she told me when I caught her!?"
"What" Harry hoped he sounded sympathetic.
"That I need to chill out , Chill out!! me a fire demon , if I chill out I die!"
"No she didn't" Harry fake gasped putting one hand over his mouth and the other on his chest for good measure.
"Well I'm done finding true love"
"Now don't give up on true love, just because one demon was a ... um a lying cheater doesn't mean all demons are" Harry honest to God couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth.
"Do you want another sandwich "
"No I shouldn't I have a habit of eating my feelings" among other things no doubt Harry wanted to reply but wisely didn't.
"Oh I know me and my kin are always unloading on you Harry , what about you how is your love life going"
"My love life consists of a very wet first kiss and 3 months of dating another girl which I slowly realised looked exactly like my mom , so I noped out of that situation real quick"
"Oh you poor boy , if no ladies fancy your taste have your tried a dick?" Blasie asked innocently.
Harry chocked on the food he was eating and after almost dying yelled
"GOD blasie you can't just ask people if they have had dick"
"How else are you supposed to know!!"
"Other people's dick intake should not be of your concern "
"You know Harry I've got ton of friends who would love to take you out"
"Your demon friends?"
"Yes"
"Take me out as in a date or take me out as in kill me"
"No Harry take you out as in a date , infact Draco is very interested in you"
"Draco?"
"Draco Malfoy , the demon you accidentally summoned by squeezing your ketchup wrong"
"Oh, that Draco" Harry had the decency to blush "No thank you I can take care of my love life my self "
"Clearly " came a sarcastic reply.
"If your done eating my food and insulting me in my house that I own than you can leave , thank you very much."
"Fine, I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you , but think about Draco , yeah?"
"I won't "
But instead of replying Blasie just smirked and disappeared. Harry turned towards the sink and started to wash the dishes while still muttering about demons and there nerve when he saw another flash and thinking it was Blasie who had come to harass him again , turned:
"Blasie if you value your fucking demon ass life ......." but than Harry actually took in the person standing in front of him who was definitely not a demon because apart from the missing horns , tail and black wings they had a halo and big white fluffy wings instead.
Harry again displaying his Gryffindoor tendencies , instead of asking what why and who silently made the ANGEL a sandwich.
The Angel for his part looked confused with a rather cute frown on his face but slowly sat down and started eating the sandwich.
"Sooo um you are?" Very good Harry , your so smart.
"Oh sorry I'm Cedric, we've been receiving a heightened demon activity from this area and I was sent to check it out , and I obviously got the wrong house but have you seen someone performing satanic rituals or partaking in human sacrifices" The cute angel cedric asked.
And Harry well Harry couldn't stop himself and burst out laughing.
What even was his life anymore.