LXI
The Parkinson's home is way bigger than I'd imagined although not as big as the Manor, but it was at that point I realised that each time I'd been invited there by Pansy I'd found an excuse not to go. I really should do better to be a good friend, because time and time again they never let me down.
Her parents Percival and Amaryllis were away for the week attending to business, of what business I would never find out, but only hope that it had nothing to do with Voldemort.
A strange feature that caught my eye upon arrival was an enormous crystal case in the wall that contained lots of different tropical fish. Not the strangest thing ever but certainly not something I would of expected of the Parkinson's in their chic 1930's inspired chateau.
Pansy just ushered me on through and up several staircases until we approached her room. Instantly I heard the noises of Theo and Blaise cracking up over something, Merlin only knows what. "Go on then, don't be a pussy. You owe them an apology."
"Yes, I'm aware. If I get hexed though that is on you. You can explain to my parents why their only son has purple skin and can only speak in backwards sentences."
Her signature huff and eyeroll preceded her shoving me through the opening door and straight into the strangest looking room I'd ever been in. The ceiling was enchanted to look like a starry night even though it was only just lunchtime. "Hey. Guys."
It was Blaise who looked up first, completely halted from his task of stacking domino's on Nott's forehead to see how many it would take before they fell. Fuck knows why I expected to find them doing anything normal; and that would only intrude and ruin the challenge when Nott sat bolt upright and sent a flurry of dominos to scatter across the floor.
"Hola Senior!" Theo chirped in strangely accurate Spanish before getting shoulder shoved by Zabini to remind him that they were meant to be pissed off with me. "Oh, um, Malfoy," he then shrugged, trying to act uninterested and slouch up against the weird black fabric armchair that sat in the corner. "What brings you here?"
"Me, obviously you fucking idiot." Pansy's sarcastically bitchy scowl never gets old, as if even after six whole years she remains perplexed at how Theo even managed to survive infancy. "He has something to say, don't you Malfoy?"
"Are you really going to make me do this Pans? We're not first years bickering over who gets the last chocolate frog?" I found myself ducking as her arm came up ready to bonk me around the back of the head. "Fine! I am sorry alright? Really fucking sorry, but my head was a mess. I took it out on the wrong people."
I believe that was the first time I had ever apologised to any of them before in my life, and to say it felt strange was an understatement. The boys looked even more weirded out by having to of witnessed it, both turning wide eyed and awkward. That was until Theo sniggered, and that's all it took to have Blaise fall apart and they both stood up to pile on top of me, knocking me right down onto my arse with a thud.
I shouted and plead as they both began tugging me around on the smooth floor by my ankles, my clothes only made it easier for me to slide about. "Ah, piss off! Blaise get off of my leg!"
Pansy had a satisfied smirk plastered on her face, but more likely she was just deeply relieved that the group were all back to normal. I'm quite lucky to be a Slytherin really, because I doubt whole heartedly that I'd receive the same level of loyalty elsewhere. We're bonded by something much deeper than friendship, but the word to describe it hasn't been invented yet.
"Grow up man, I'm gonna get friction burns on my hands!"
"Wouldn't be the first time eh," Theo continued after making the innuendo, his tongue curling up over his teeth as he continued struggling to drag me the length of the room whilst I tried to claw away. Eventually they both released me, but that didn't satisfy Nott who followed down with a pillow to the back of my head.
My sprawled out body heaved face down on the floor, only turning to ask Parkinson if she was glad that I'd had seven shades of shit beaten out of me. "Happy now? Congratulations."
Then she too walloped a couch cushion over my skull, delivering the final blow to conclude the whole ceremonial. "Yep, now I am. No less than you deserved you fucking moron. My voice isn't even annoying."
That had my mind cast back to the day I'd caused all of this by throwing a massive strop, I'll admit, it was cruel even for me. "I mean honestly, it kind of is though."
Another brain rattling blow whacked me, hitting my hood up over the back of my head as the others just stepped over my body to throw themselves back down on to the nearest comfortable piece of furniture. For some reason I'm always down on the floor when I have my moments of clarity, perhaps its the best place to reassess life, at least it hid my grin; released from the weight of not knowing if I was any more hated than usual.
At last allowing myself to turn over and recalibrate my posture, each of the Slytherins looked me up and down with deviousness. Theo had even stopped ramming yet more food into his mouth.
"Oh no, what?"
"Well since we're all back together, I'm thinking maybe we should throw a party. Mum and Dad won't be back for a week. Slip the elves a little sleeping potion, they'll never know a damn thing."
I turned to Blaise, eyes springing wide open. But not even he tried to talk sense and back out of it, it was clear they were all well in agreement before I'd even made an entrance. That was unsettling, because if Pans and Theo are planning something, it'll either be spectacular or downright outrageously disastrous.
How he was even here was a mystery in itself, he normally always goes home to his own place. "And you think this is a good idea too?" I asked.
He just shrugged. "It's summer, stop being so uptight and boring. Because frankly you throwing your weight around like a stressy housewife is getting annoying. If nothing is wrong and you're just fine then it shouldn't be too hard for you to just have a good time, should it?"
That suspicious look in his eye shimmered again, he was baiting and testing me regardless of the forgiveness for my attitude. I should have remembered he has his own suspicions, and it had Pans dart her gaze between us both with worry before changing the subject quickly; she had made it clear that the others can't find out the truth.
"Apparently Ivy Turnapple can get coke." That piqued everyone's interest, it had Theo look a little more than excited. "Oooh can she get the low calorie vanilla flavoured one?"
"Coke, Theo. Cocaine. You sniff it."
"Oooh right. Well I'll try anything once." Parkinson just stared at him in sheer disbelief, it happens more often than not these days. Whilst everyone else gets smarter, Theodore somehow gets stupider. She poked him in the forehead with her wand. "I'm going to start asking your parents for babysitting money. My twelve year old cat has more common sense than you."
He leant across the sofa, and shoved his manky foot in her face. His sock looked like it had seen better days as she tried to frantically bat it away from her. I just looked to Blaise who was as sick of their shit as I am. "Have they been like this the whole time?" I asked. "Yeah, since the minute we got here. My will to live is quite literally hanging on by a thread. That's why I'm glad you came to be honest."
"Oh brilliant thanks, good to know you actually wanted to see me and not just to take the heat off of you. So you are going to be par-taking in whatever the fuck that pair has planned are you grandad?"
By now Nott and Parkinson were embroiled in a full brawl that had caused both of them to fall off the side of the couch, only to continue girl slapping each other once they'd mastered gravity again. "Are you serious? I need to get completely out of my head just to remember what sanity feels like."
The fact that I understood entirely what he meant and why. It still amazes me every single day how the Parkinson's haven't figured out that they're not really a couple. Although, they probably put all the banging down to something other than them hammering each other home with broomsticks until someone taps out first.
My deepest sympathies are with them.
"Oi! Bowl cut! Where am I staying then?" I glanced back to the glory of Pansy strangling Theo in a headlock, and him trying to strain his face through the neck hole of his jumper that had almost completely slipped off. Sort of like a dying turtle. "In the guest room with the old bunkbeds, you'll be by yourself though because Blaise and Theo are in the other one."
Perfect, at least I'd have somewhere to hide when I've had a enough of interacting with people.
"Hang on a sec! I'll show you which one, once this little bitch gets off of my tit! Theodore! He bit my tit!" Her elbow made an incredible impact with his ribs that saw him recoil in defeat, half laughing and half wheezing in pain. She straightened herself out and got up to her feet, pointing down at Nott. "I'll get you back for that later, mark my words!"
"Come on." The demand was made as I was yanked away from the chaos, I certainly wasn't about to protest it. My ribs have only just stopped aching. The guest room she brought me to was alright, nothing special.
Comfortable yes, also a little cold and bare, also yes.
So I threw down my rucksack of belongings, startled by the fact Ulysses was in here. Sometimes magic still catches me out, I hadn't even thought to bring him but he'd been sent and knew where to go anyway.
"This'll have to do for now Draco, they already put their stuff in the nicer rooms."
"It's fine," I smiled. The bed was particularly springy when I sat, and the bedding was nice and thick. In my curious moment I'd missed Pansy snatching away my wand. "Oi, give it back don't be a dick."
"No." She crossed her arms with an all too serious face. "You get this back once you've eaten something, showered and slept for an hour or two at the very least. I'll not have you passing out later because you're surviving on no sleep and nothing in your stomach bar the crap you were slogging all night. Do that, and you get your wand back and I'll say no more about it."
With a frowning scowl I scoffed, the audacity of the girl is astounding but right now I didn't have the energy to argue or fight it. And not just because I did in fact feel like shit warmed up.
"Fine your majesty, just keep your weird cat out of here and away from Ulysses. Please wake me up if I'm not already to try and look presentable for whatever the hell you've got planned."
A victorious strut had Parkinson stride out and shut the door behind her without another word. And falling back against the cold and foreign bed, I felt my bones relax. I was thankful, because this cold room felt infinitely more comfortable than the one I call mine at what is supposedly meant to be my home. Realising then how heavy my eyelids were, I surrendered to sleep.
Roll on tonight, I'd found some normality again in the least normal people I know.