[11:25] out for blood xoxo

- draco malfoy is neil josten 🥺🥺 bc they're both such little meow meows who i love so much <333
- his strong sexy boyfriend is harry potter (obviously!!!) as andrew minyard 🥵🥵🥵
- draco is on the run 🏃 from his crime lord daddy (luscious malfoy 🤮🤮) and his mom recently died after spending so long protecting draco (narcissa was Such a milf 😳)
- aaron can be ron and his gf is OBVIOUSLY katelyn as hermione (dramione forever!!!!!!!!)
- harry runs over mrs weasley with a car ⚰️🚗 because she was abusive to ron and also she was mean to ginny who was harry's wife in a different life
- obvi the mister yakuza leader would be voldemort himself 🚫👃with tom riddle as rico 😋😋
- tom is the captain of the snakes 🐍 team
- exy is actually quidditch 🥍🗡️ 🧹
- harry is under a wizengamot mandated 👨⚖️ imperius curse bc he killed his parents james and lily potter :(((( (but it totally wasn't his fault !!! he's a sad little baby boy 👼)
- sirius is the coach for the foxes 🦊 (but they're actually called the LIONS 🦁 (rawr XD)) and he undoes Harry's wizengamot mandated 👨⚖️ imperio for quidditch 🥍🗡️ 🧹games )
- remus is the nurse 🏥 love interest to the coach bc wolfstar 🐺 ⭐ ascends all universes
- kevin is ginny (bc they were both just so pathetic and put in really bad situations 🥺🥺🥺) (and also bc he's the son of exy and she becomes a pro quidditch 🥍🗡️ 🧹 player post canon 🥺🥺 women in stem ⚙️🧬 🔭🧪🔬👩🔬)
- ginny thinks she's an orphan but she was actually just abandoned by her family the weasleys for being born female ♀️🧎♀️🧛♀️
- allison is fleur (and gabrielle died ☠️☠️☠️) but it's okay bc fleur is dating hermione who's also renee
- the staff counselor for the lion foxes is dumbledore bc he's useless <333
- seth gordon is fred bc he's dead

- ginny comes to join team at beginning of season, and knows her brother (fred seth) is on the team but they don't like each other very much
- they start to reconcile w each other and make up for past traumas but THEN fred 🪦🪦🪦
- book one ends with fred getting killed by tom riddle :(((