Half Blood Prince
Harry was had trauma this is so sad!! He didn’t wan to go to hogwarts anymore so he stayed at home becaus he was also a pussy (as stated before)
“Cmon harry! Plz lets go bAck to hogwarts and slay the day away like we used to!” ron begged. He was situated in his car tht flys. Hernine was with him. She rolled her eyes. “Ron leave him, he’ll come back when he wnats to”
“Hrmonie youre so cool and smart, but…its okay, i mean i havent lleft this hsouse in over 120 hours and the only thing i ve been watching is the 2017 movie Lego Ninjago…ha ha ive seen it over 112 times…”harry said dryly, he looked on the brink of insanity so they scooped him out if him wittle sussy wussy housey wousey and flew away to some random goofy ahh place.
They had sOOooOOOoO much fun at said place. But they had to return to their homeland…hogwrats. There was still trouble to deal with and apparently Fireman Sam and Bob the Builder wwerent doing a good job.
They landed back in Hogwarts and took off to see dumbledore. They walked into his office.
“Hes dead” dumbledor said suddenlt
“Who?” the three tomodachis asnswered
“serius …harrys god fatherter”
“Did i get anything?” asked harry
“Yuh you got some sweet drip my guy fr popping off like yas king slay” Dumbdoore started serving
The 3 people looked away in disgusted.
“Holy shit dumbloedoor please- pLeASE fOR the loVE of gOD sTOP! STOP!!” Ron whailed and sobbed. But he did not stop, dumbledoore kept going.
Ron ran out of the room, followed by hermone. Harry got his shit and left, he left so fast that that the wind toppled duumbledoor over.
Once they were outside, the demodgos were back at it again, viciously murdering peoople. Draco came from a bush covered in blood.
“Draco! Dracco are you okay?” harry asked
“Yeah…im fine, yknow actually ive been really going through some tough times and i just need som-”
“Yeah yeah whatever anyways i think we should kill these things” Ron sugeested
Harry and Draco turned and looked at ron with an ‘i agree with you but you didnt need to cut someone off because thats kind of rude especially when its about the person themselves’ look.
So then they killed the things and the world was saved! They didnt need batman, they had the power of friendship.
I guess they didnt realsiede the extent of the sittuaion because fucking dumbldorr died. Jesus christ. (should i say the lords name in vain? Im writing this in my religion class 😬 its okay, this was god plan, me writing this masterpiece) what a pain.
They were all at the funeral. With tears in his eyes harry went up to spoke.
“Dumbeldoor was an odd one. He made me and ron cry and hernmonie cringe when he started…uhm slaying? Something like that. But despite all his weird quirky quirks and shit. He was still cool and gay. Yes, i know about his little secret. I read his diary… I was being sarcastic! (no he wasnt) Every time I try and conquer Ninjago, that meddling Green Ninja thwarts me. Who are these secret ninjas? Every time I come up with a new plan, they still beat me. And they don't even have cool suits! And you guys have like crab outfits and shark outfits. I mean, maybe we're spending too much on outfits” Harry sighed “…anyways i digress.”
Everyone was looking at harry very confusefdly. He continued
“Soz guys the lego ninjago movie has been like the only source of enterrtian meant ive been consuming for the past like 5 days or so so like yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh…”
Harry said the rest of his speech then sat back down.
The rest of the days were spent trying to figure out who this “Half Blood prince” fella was. As they were roaming the halls one evening, they spotted Severus Snape who was looking sad, this was most likely due to the loss of his one and only love. Harry noted that Snape did not, in fact, attend the funeral of Dumbledore, probably because the funeral was held where Severus was buried. Harry took quiet, careful steps toward Snape, as to scare or anger him in any way.
“Hey man, how's it hanging?”
“I want to die”
“Okay thats so cool how about we don't do that?” HArry said with a gleaming smile on his face.
Ron and hermonie were standing off to the side like npcs sheeesh fr fr.
Snapey boy siged “sigh…okay what do you want?”
“Wel well well im glad you asked” Harry sat down next to snape on this chair or couch idk its up to you what you imagine what they are sitting on.
“Would you happen to know who the half blood price is??”
Snape sputtered “w-what? I dont- wait half blood price?”
“Oh sorry, typo aHem…Prince”
“Ah i see, aHEm…w-what? I dont know what youre talking about” Snape turned his head away
“Bruh i asked if you know who it could be”
“Oh…uh then um no? No i dont”
Snape was sitting upside down, this meant he was lying
“Ypu lying” Harry deadpanned
“Okay okay, its me…im the half blood prince”
Harry started for a long second, ron and hermone came to join as well.
Then they all burst out laughing.
“Thats mad hilarious innit” ron said
“Fr fr, dude thats…a cool name like that being given to someone like you? No offence” said harry
“I agree” said hermonei, she was trying to keep the front of a cool calm and collected person but it was failing because she was cackling and howling (at the moon, singing in the middle of a summer afternoon, discord whatever did we do to make you take our world away)
The emo stood up “WELL! I'll have you know it iS true! True like harry's parents being dead”
“Ouch, harsh man”
“The title was given to me because i am in fact royalty of a fallen kingdon called Among Us no wait sorry wrong uh lore. Um yeah… so like im royalty and the half blood comes from the fact that I actually have half the amount of blood to the normal sized adualt man male.
“oh…i ..see” the trio were in disbelief. That was just absolutey bizarre.
They left. With many questions.
So…after all that jazz, the passing of dubledoor and the man uh Seruius, HArry and his friends + draco could live happily ever after
Not really there was a lot more to come………uhm so hold on to your horisies.