Chamber of Secrets
It was the holidays which meant that Harry was back in the old stinky house. After everything that had gone down, he completely forgor about the life he had lived before!!
He doesn’t know why but his fam locked him in his room, maybe it was because he was too cool for his own good? Whatever the reason Harry PUSSY Potter was not slaying. That is until he heard something the his closest! Since he wasn’t a pussy, he opened his closets despite it being 3:04 am in the morning. There was nothing at first and sure as hell wasn’t going back in the closest to see what was making that noise when all of sud deb a thing jumped out like foxy from the hit indie game FNAF:At freddies.
“aHhhHh!!” yelled Harry quietly
“WWWWWWWW” w’d the thing
“wot ar you?” harry said britishly
“im doby” said doby
“okay…why are in my closet?”
“idk um but i heard you had drip so i came to check it out myslef”
“..okay so um…will you lea-”
“n o”
“okay”
“…”
“why?”
“because i’ve seen the way you look at my masters son” unnamed goblin said
“i- excuse me?”
“Draco Malfoy”
“what?”
“i’ve seen the way your yearn to get to know him in perhaps a romantic way”
“o-oh uh aha well” harry looked away blushing slightly whilst scratching his cheek with his right index finger
“i can help you if you want” goblin man said
“how?”
“well…since you haven’t caught on yet potter, his father is my master”
“…oh my god”
“yeah…so want me to help?”
“yes, yes please. uhm but may i know your name?” harry said
“doby but you can call me dat boi or db for short”
“wow okay sure uh cool”
“by the way i won’t do this for free”
“what!? uGh fine how much?”
“no no no not money..i want your drip potter”
“uh..yeah okay sure”
Just as this was going on, he heard a car outside his window!?
“am i high?” thought harry. “No time to think about that right now, what is outside my window?”
As he looked out his barred up window, he saw… ron?? In a car? OH GOD
“RON WOT ARE YOU DOIN MATE?” harry shouted whisper
“Saving you! What else??” ron whisper shouted as he tired breaking the window.
Harry and DB looked at eachother, shrugged, then helped braking the window quietly because he deosnt want his uncle adn aunt to waek up from their sleep.
As soon as harry draged db in the car, he shoved ron aside and statrtved driving instead.
“Okay 1, Harry what the fuck? 2, whats this old shriveled dripped out thing doing in the car?”
“1, ron you cant drive for shit-”
“Oh and you can?”
“Yes actually, i used to have one of those electric car things and im not ginger, anyways as i was saying, you cant drive and 2, that dripped out think is Dat Boi aka DB and hes kind of my bestie now, hes gonna help me get with draco” harry smiled.
“Oh my god…what i um yeah sure okay” rons green eyes darted between harry and db. He was confused but he wont question it for his sake.
Ron and Harry got home safely with no wreaked car totally.
As they were having breakfast Ron’s mother announced that they were going shopping!
“we are going shopping!” Ron’s mother announced at the table they were currently having breakfast at.
“that’s so cool and radical!” both the twins said at the same time.
The mother stepped infront of the fire place and made green fire.
“Step inside” she instructed
The twins and rob were eaten by the nuclear flame never to be seen again…not really Harry was being dramatic cuz he wanted to feel the adrenaline of something terrible happening so he could feel something but anyway he digresses.
“So…i just turn around, say some wizardy things and the im there?” harry asked
“yes that’s exactly right!” exclaimed ron’s milf i mean mother.
Harry spun around 3 times while chanting something that sounded suspiciously like something you’d hear in among us…jk
And voila! unfortunately it didn’t seem like he did the thing right as he was in a random creepy ass shop. Since harry was a bit of a pussy he cried as he ran out of the shop only to realise he wasn’t in the afterlife but um…well in a random creep ass shop.
He found the red heads just up the cobblestone road.
“Oh there you are harry you dumb son of a bitch! you must have turned a little too far right just as you were about to be teleported and wound up somewhere else! You suck at this even though this was your fist time doing anything like this!” Ron’s mother said excitedly in a scarcastic way but also strangely fond idk
“Jesus christ mum, cmon harry let’s go inside this slay shop” Ron dragged Harry into said shop.
“Woah this is such a slay shop” harry started in awe at the shop. He started to get things that he would need fore school bcs for some reason they didnt have what they needed already.
“What are you dorks doing hrer?” Hermone hasked
“I- the same reason as you?? I though you were smart” ron said.
“Huh…okay thats cool anyways so-” Hermoe was cut off by a tall man with longish blond hair. He looked slay tbh. And...was that Dat Boi on his shoulder???
“Sup people” the man said in his smooth rich velvety voice.
Everyone stared at him…then they all went backt to what they were doing.
“WHAT?? NO PRAsIE?? NO ACKNOWLDGEMNET TO WHOES IN THIS SHOP??”
“Father, respectful shut the fuck up” From bheninf the man, a boyo stepped out. It was none other than Draco!!!
Harry alsmsot fainted
“Ugh jeez, its them” Hermonien said with an eye roll
“Lets get our shit and go” Ron said
“Uh..yeah aha yeah im just going to go over here for a bit, not because Dracos there no no no its because…uhm” harry walked scuttled away.
“What on earth does harry see in him?” asked ron.
Harry casually strolled his way on over to where the love of his life stood.
“Hello” Harry said very nervously
Draco glanced up at Harry and eyed him.
“Wot do you wont potta?” he asked
“Im just sayin hi..so..hi”
“Well thats weird innit, we;ve nevah sopekn beofre” Draco proclaimed in a british accent.
“Ha yeah i just though id yknow um say something”
“Riiiight ohkay” Draco continued to browse through whatever he was looking at. Harry was a bit sad that their conversation was lackluster and since he didnt know what else to say (he was also nervy uwu) he just stood awkwardly next to his crush.
Harry however, didnnt know daecos inner turmoil.
“Oh my god he spoke words to me onga wow this literally has to be a dream like fr how can this be happening to me im like…hated and feread by so many people! aHH HAha HHHHhHHHHhHhHh”
“ DRACO! WE’RE GOING! This place sucks ass” DRacos dad called for him.
Draco died (metaphorlicaaly) for a second before turning to potter. “See yuz” he deadpaned and left
Harry aslo dies metaphorically. Draco said bye to him! This was going somewhere!!
Harry walked to his friends ronny boy and hermone girl.
“Guys guys! I talked to draco and he talked back!!!!” harry shouted
“Uh huh thats great, have you bought your things yet?” Hermone asked
“no” harry said in small voice
“Then hurry uup!”.
It was a couple days later and the triad were sitting and talking about another thing, the chamber of secrets.
“I wonder whats down there” Ron pondered.
“Who knoes” said harry, looking longingly at you know who.
“We should go check it out ourselves” the smart one, hermonie, said.
“Okay” both harry and ronald mcdonald agreed at the same time.
It was night time again and the unrelated triplets set out on their adventure.
They arrived in the chamber of secrets when they realised it looks exactly like the place they were at before! The room
underground with the chess thag hermonwi did because she is smart.
Anyways Hermon did the chess thing again and this time another room oopened up!! it was…it was a book?
“wow this was a waste of time” hermonie said
“i agree” said ron
“yep” said harry. then they all left and went back to their dorms.
Harry was bored and couldn’t sleep so he decided to look the books that were in the building when all of a sudden a book fell to his monster grippers!!!
“what is this?” questioned jarry
he couldn’t read so he had no idea what he was looking at but he knew that it was a weird book because it looked like a person had written it by hand. The writing was god awefull.
“what is this?” questioned harry again
then a pen dropped right in front of him.
He decided to lick the pen and pick it up. don’t question why, harry’s just a little quirky like that lololol.
He went and sat at the library desk and started writing stuff on the book for some reason when all of a sudden it started writing back to ulm??????? so weird anyways. uh the thing in the book was some weird person called jacob riddler (at least that’s what harry thjks, he’s illiterate remember) He told harry about his epic life at hogwarts and how he was so slay!!! “wow this is so interesting” harry said in a very sarcastic tone uwu. then the boom said “come to the thjbg you were at before and you will find the thjbg that will begin you training arc!”
Harry ran out of the library to sleep because he was tired :(
The next day he rushed to the place and there he encounterd jack riddle!! “no way that’s so cool you’re a real person or maybe im hallucinating har har”
“indeed i am” riddle man said in a posh accent because for some reason he had one
“so what’s this thing you wanted to show me?” harry questioned
“this” mr jackob riddler held out his fist and opened it to reveal….
“how is this supposed to help with my training??? 😩😩😩” hasty was confused and #sad (poor thjbg)
“wow you don’t know? well let me tell you.jk you have to figure that out on yoir own hehehebe” and like a snake he vanished.
Harry suddenly remembered that he could speck snake so he spoke to it. The snake thing was so offended that it cried and cried. Harry gave up and left with the thing in hand.
“harry where were you????” Haremone asked very concerndley
“yah you were gone like the wHooOooOole day bro!” ron um said.
“soz gois, i was out uhm getting a thjbg for a teacher!” harry began tearing up.
“harry we know you lying” the both of them said
“wha? how >:(“
“bcs your crying” hermonie said
“oh…yeah uh anyways bye guys” and just like that…he was gone.