Do we even matter?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/F
F/M
M/M
G
Do we even matter?
Summary
Remus, Sirius and the other marauders are starting their 5th year at Hogwarts. It’s supposed to be filled with mischief, pranks and party’s, but with Remus being a werewolf and Sirius family, nothing goes as planned.And what wasn’t planned either, were the weird feelings both boys got as they’re friendship deepened.Really slow burn I fear.Suggestion are VERY much welcome.Please be patient, English isn’t my first language. :)Also be prepared for following triggerwarnings: underage drinking, underage smoking, abuse, homophobia, violence, racism, tortureI’ll try to update this list when another theme makes an appearance in the fanfic :)
All Chapters Forward

The scavenger hunt

"Come on, why not?", Sirius asked.

"What about an infection?" Remus said, arms crossed.

"Yeah, and I’m sure it hurts!" Peter added.

"Oh, please. Almost every girl has done it—it can't be that bad!" Sirius scoffed.

"Where did you even get this stuff?" James asked, inspecting the collection of earrings Sirius had laid out on the bed.

"Stole the needle from the infirmary and the jewelry from my mother," Sirius said smugly. "So, who’s going first?"

They were all sitting cross-legged on Remus' bed, Sirius desperately trying to convince them to let him pierce their ears. He didn’t particularly fancy pushing the needle through his own ear and therefore was trying to convince one of them to take care of his earring—besides, it was more fun if his friends got earrings too.

"I’m not doing that. My parents would kill me," Peter protested, looking like he truly believed Sirius had lost his mind. Which, to be fair, might be true. It had been three days since that dinner with his family, and Sirius had been doing everything possible to push the thoughts away.

"Do you think Lily would like it?" James asked, sorting through the various earrings Sirius had stolen.

"She’d probably say it’s ridiculous," Remus chuckled.

"Well, at least she’d talk to me, huh?" James grinned from ear to ear as he held up a small sun-shaped earring. "I could buy us matching jewelry—I’ll do it!"

Sirius immediately high-fived him. "That’s the spirit! What about you, Rem?"

"I don’t know. My scars are weird enough already," he muttered, pulling his sweater tighter around his arms.

"Your scars aren’t weird, Moony. And earrings aren’t either."

Remus hesitated. "Fine, but aren’t all the earrings silver?"

"Nope," Sirius said proudly, holding up a small crescent moon earring. "Transfigured it this morning. It’s safe."

"Ugh, okay," Remus sighed, snatching it from Sirius’ hands.

"So, all of you are doing it?" Peter asked nervously.

"Yeah, and so are you!" James said, tossing him a tiny hoop. "Unless you’re a coward."

"I’m not a coward!" Peter exclaimed, and that’s how they all ended up with jewelry in slightly wonky places on their ears.

The execution was far from perfect. James’ earring was a little too far to the left, Peter’s was set way too high, and the one Sirius had pierced on Remus sat noticeably lower than it should have. Sirius, of course, ended up with the only one that looked decent—a small silver star dangling from his ear.

He loved it. And the thought of how much it would piss off his parents made it even better.

A few weeks passed. Sirius noticed the flurry of letters Regulus received from their parents during the afternoons. Meanwhile, Sirius himself got nothing. Not a single letter. Whether that was a good or bad thing, he wasn’t sure.

But Fall came, and with that not just the weather became unpredictable

James had started spending most of his evenings with Lily, who—surprisingly—didn’t seem to mind. Apparently, she was pissed at Severus for calling her a slur. Sirius didn’t care much about that. What did interest him was the prank they were planning to mess with Snivellus. He really was in the mood to hurt one of these stupid Slytherins. Also, he made James pierce Sirius other ear as well- multiple times- so that when October came to an end, he had 2 lobes on each ear and a helix pierced on his left one.

Meanwhile, Remus had been sneaking out after curfew. Sirius had noticed it last weekend but hadn’t felt like confronting him. If he left Remus alone, maybe Remus would leave him alone too.
His family was nobody’s business.

"In a few months, we’ll be a couple—I just know it!" James announced at breakfast, practically glowing with confidence as he shoveled porridge into his mouth.

"Stop daydreaming," Remus sighed, biting into his toast.

Just then, the Gryffindor girls slid into the seats next to them. Sirius couldn’t remember exactly when it started, but it seemed like the girls had been invading their space a little more each day. Not that he minded, not much.

"Hey, lads," Lily greeted, setting down her pumpkin juice. Marlene and Mary sat beside her, looking equally excited. “How are you?”

"Great, now that you’re here with us!" James grinned, earning a collective eye roll from the group.

"We have something to discuss with you," Marlene said, practically vibrating with excitement.

"What now?" Sirius asked, raising a brow.

"Professor Dumbledore is hosting a contest this term!"

"How do you know about that?" Remus asked skeptically.

"I overheard McGonagall and Slughorn talking about it this morning," Mary said, pushing back a few dark curls from her face. “They’ll announce it tomorrow.”

"And we want to participate," Marlene finished.

"Okay… and what do you need us for?" Sirius asked, sipping his pumpkin juice.

"They said the teams have to be one girl and one boy," Lily explained. "Something about getting us out of our comfort zones."

Sirius exchanged a glance with James, who looked positively thrilled by this revelation.

"Well, I think it’s a brilliant idea," James declared, smiling at Lilly

"Of course you do," Remus muttered.

"So, what kind of contest is this?" Peter asked, looking wary. "Please tell me it’s not some boring academic thing."

"Actually," Marlene said, "it’s a scavenger hunt!"

Sirius perked up. "Now that sounds interesting." He probably shouldn’t participate with all the exams coming up, but who cared? He always managed to get through, even when it was with Moonys help.

"Exactly! And we want you lot as our partners," Mary added.

James, predictably, turned to Lily with an exaggeratedly hopeful expression. "Lily, my dear, I would be honored—"

"You’re with Marlene," she cut him off, smirking.

James looked absolutely freaked out. "But—"

"No buts. Marlene’s fast, you’ll make a good team."

"Fine," James huffed dramatically. "But only because I’m a gentleman."

"Then who am I with?" Sirius asked, leaning back in his seat.

"Me," Mary said simply and smiled at him. These beautiful dark round eyes looked up to him and Sirius couldn’t help but think about their kiss last year. It was during a game of truth and dare, but he kinda liked it nevertheless There was no way to deny how gorgeous Mary was. The fact that she was muggleborn was only a bonus point for him to piss off his parents even further.

"Alright, I’m in."

"Guess that leaves me and Lily," Remus said, not looking too upset about it.

"And Peter…?" James prompted.

The three girls all smirked, as if they knew something the boys didn’t.

“We arranged something”, Marlene said.

"Arranged what? I want to play too!" Peter whined, crossing his arms.

The girls exchanged glances before Lily sighed, clearly giving in. "What would you think of having Sibyll as your partner?"

Peter visibly tensed, his face turning a shade of pink Sirius had rarely seen on him. "Trelawney?" he stuttered.

"You fancy Trelawney?" Sirius asked, eyes widening with amusement.

"For Merlin’s sake! Can’t you be quiet?" Peter complained, which, of course, only confirmed that it was true.

"Why didn’t you tell us?" James asked.

"Because she’s out of reach for me," Peter muttered, looking down at his plate.

Sirius, however, was already scheming. He cast a glance toward the blonde Ravenclaw girl across the Great Hall. "Set the pranks aside, lads—our top priority will be Project Pebill," he declared dramatically, swinging an arm around Peter’s shoulders.

Peter groaned. "Please don’t call it that."

"Too late, mate," James said, grinning.

God, this was going to be fun.

The next few days were packed with some very interesting tasks. No one would admit it outright, but each pair grew noticeably closer—both physically and emotionally.

Sirius, for one, didn’t need to keep his hand on Mary’s hip as they snuck through the hidden passageways, but he did it anyway. She didn’t seem to mind and at some point she even started playing with his hair. Sirius low-key did mind that, but pretended to like it anyway. Meanwhile, Peter and Sibyll were seen smiling at each other when they thought no one was looking, but Sirius eyes were everywhere- all the time. It was adorable.

James and Marlene made an unexpectedly good team too, though Sirius still caught James glaring in Remus and Lily’s direction more often than not.

Lily and Remus, however, seemed to have settled into something entirely platonic. They worked well together—efficient, clever, and ridiculously good at solving riddles—but there was no romantic tension. At least, not that Sirius could see.

Still, that didn’t stop James from complaining about it.

"It’s not like I care," James grumbled one evening, as the two of them sat in the Gryffindor common room after a long day of scavenger hunting. "I mean, it’s Moony. He’s my mate."

"Sure," Sirius said, smirking.

James shot him a look. "Shut up." Sirius just chuckled. What interested him more, however, was something James had let slip the night before. Something about Marlene trusting him with an important secret.

"So," Sirius said. "What’s this big, mysterious secret Marlene told you?"

James stiffened. "Can’t say."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Can’t or won’t?"

James hesitated. "Both," he admitted. "It’s serious."

"As opposed to me," Sirius joked.

"Not everything is about you, mate," James said, shaking his head. But there was an odd edge to his voice, a weight behind his words that made Sirius pause.

He let it drop—for now.

The first part of the scavenger hunt ended on Halloween night, culminating in a wild, last-minute race through the castle. The final clue had been hidden inside a trick book in the library’s Restricted Section, and getting to it without being caught by Filch was nothing short of miraculous. Sirius was suprised that Dumbledore was the one hosting this whole thing, but oh well, he has always been a mysterious man,

Sirius and Mary ended up third, much to his disappointment. Lily and Remus, unsurprisingly, came first.

But the real event of the night? The Gryffindor Halloween Party.

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