Do we even matter?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/F
F/M
M/M
G
Do we even matter?
Summary
Remus, Sirius and the other marauders are starting their 5th year at Hogwarts. It’s supposed to be filled with mischief, pranks and party’s, but with Remus being a werewolf and Sirius family, nothing goes as planned.And what wasn’t planned either, were the weird feelings both boys got as they’re friendship deepened.Really slow burn I fear.Suggestion are VERY much welcome.Please be patient, English isn’t my first language. :)Also be prepared for following triggerwarnings: underage drinking, underage smoking, abuse, homophobia, violence, racism, tortureI’ll try to update this list when another theme makes an appearance in the fanfic :)
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Halloween

Sirius had expected a party, of course—Gryffindor never wasted an opportunity to celebrate. But what he hadn’t expected was for the entire common room to be decorated in his honor.

“Dedicated to you this year,” James said, clapping him on the back, his grin as wide as ever. “Figured we’d celebrate a bit early.”

Sirius blinked. “What?”

“Your birthday,” Remus clarified, leaning against the back of the couch with a smirk. “It’s in two days, remember?”

Of course, he remembered. He just… hadn’t expected anyone else to. His family never did, after all. Not really.

Sirius swallowed, brushing off the unfamiliar warmth creeping up his chest. “About time I got the recognition I deserve,” he said instead, flashing his signature grin.

The party was chaotic in the best way. It wasn’t just Sirius drinking that night—most of the fifth years were participating, though for some, it was their first time. Remus and Peter were hesitant at first, but after some peer pressure from Marlene him, they joined. Sirius had half expected the girls to be more reserved, but it turned out that Marlene, Mary, and even Lily were more experienced drinkers than the boys.

And the costumes?

Sirius had gone bold this year. His face was painted with white and black powder, giving him the look of a skeleton, and James had helped extend the illusion down his chest. The result? Sirius partying shirtless. He’d debated throwing on a cloak or something, but in the end, he decided against it. He looked good. And if people wanted to stare, well, that was their problem.

James had decided on a classic vampire look, mostly because he found out earlier that Lily was dressing as one. Peter… well, Sirius still had no clue what Peter was supposed to be. His outfit consisted of random clothes that made no sense—until he pulled out a bizarre green alien mask.

And then there was Remus.

Sirius still didn’t understand his costume. A super-tight grey suit with a black bat symbol on the chest. It didn’t look particularly scary or spooky, but one thing was certain—Remus looked insanely good in it. Not that Sirius would admit that out loud.

“Explain this to me one more time,” Sirius said.

Remus sighed. “It’s from a comic book.”

“…And?”

“And it’s cool, mate. Just accept it.”

Sirius tilted his head, smirking. “I accept that you look ridiculously fit in that suit.”

Remus groaned, a deep blush creeping up his face. “Merlin, you’re hopeless.”

Music blasted through the common room, and the moment Queen came on, the four boys grabbed drinks, clinking their cups together before downing their first shot of the night. Two more followed quickly after and all bad thoughts blurred into the background. Exams, detention, his parents, Regulus, the war, Voldemort. Nothing mattered at this point.

How he wished he could be a regular teen like this every time of the year.

Then the girls arrived.

They were late, but the wait had been so worth it.

Lily wore a sleek black dress with fake blood dripping down her neck and fangs peeking out whenever she smiled. James, predictably, was staring whenever he could. Marlene’s costume was simple—regular party clothes paired with magically enhanced cat ears and a tail that moved. But the simplicity didn’t make her any less gorgeous.

And then there was Mary.

Mary had outdone herself. She wore brown cowboy boots, matching shorts, and a low-cut blouse. And, of course, a bright red cowboy hat to tie it all together.

Sirius made his way over with his most charming grin.

“You’re stunning tonight,” he said smoothly, eyes flicking to Mary in particular. Then, before she could react, he snatched the hat off her head, placing it on his own head.

Mary raised an eyebrow, but she didn’t protest. Instead, she smirked, her gaze drifting downward.

Sirius followed her line of sight, only to realize all three girls were staring at his bare chest.

God, he loved Quidditch, and what the training did to his muscles.

Then More drinks. More dancing. More chaos.

James danced with Lily (which, to everyone’s surprise, she actually allowed), Peter awkwardly talked with Sibyll (who, at some point, started holding his hand) , and Remus and Marlene had disappeared completely—probably snogging somewhere. Not that Sirius cared. He didn’t care.

No. He was perfectly happy dancing with Mary. His hands found her waist, and her fingers traced over his exposed abs.

He definitely didn’t care where Remus was.

No. He. Did. not. care.

The closer he got to Mary, the more he convinced himself it was true.

Around midnight, when the music quieted and the crowd thinned, James called out, “Oi, Sirius! Come play a game of Truth or Dare with us!”

Sirius leaned in, his breath warm against Mary’s ear. “Interested, love?”

“Only if someone dares you to kiss me,” she giggled, clearly drunk.

Sirius smirked. “We don’t need a game for that.”

Still, they joined the game, making a circle on the floor near the fireplace. The usual crew was there—James, Lily, Peter, and a few extras, including some Ravenclaws, likely brought along by Sibyll. Remus and Marlene though, they still were missing, but at this point, Sirius was mostly of happy about that. He didn’t quite like the thought of Remus watching him being close to Mary. Touching her, kissing her, smiling at her.

Furthermore, Remus sight reminded Sirius of all the bad stuff he was trying to avoid. Partly because he was the only one who knew about all this stuff bothering him that much.

But tonight was Halloween, so he sat down on the floor, pulling Mary close, doing everything to pretend he was not Sirius Orion Black.

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