The Gozyugers were in battle against the Bridan once again, like every week. Hoeru/GozyuWolf was inside of TegaSword’s cockpit, ready to face his giant foe. The remaining Gozyugers were confronted by a group of Aryee and a No.1 monster.
The monster was female, hard to ignore when she had a very impressive set of breasts, hips that could crush a watermelon, luscious lips, black leather outfit and a whip and squid tentacles for hair. “Kinky No.1 is going to dominate you!” the monster said as she cracked her whip.
“…well, I wouldn’t mind throwing this match.” Rikuo/GozyuLeon noted.
“Rikuo!” Sumino/GozyuUnicorn chastised.
“Oh come on, look at her, don’t tell me you aren’t tempted!”
“Stupid boys, always distracted by pretty faces, and big, soft looking breasts…thighs that you wish were wrapped around you…being dominated by a big strong woman…” Sumino slowed down and under helmet she was licking her lips.
“Why did we had to pick her for this job?” Mrs. Sweet Cake asked her cojoined husband.
“I owed her Dad a favor.” Mr. Shining Knife said.
“Woman, your temptations won’t get to me because there is only one whom I have pledged myself to and that is TegaSword-sama!” Ryugi/GozyuTyranno says. “And one day he’ll realize that I am the most faithful and will take me as his godly consort!”
“…oh that explains the time I ran in on him naked and saying ‘Tegasword won’t be able to say no to this body!’” Rikuo said, turning green under his helmet.
“You all need Jesus!” Kinjiro/GozyuEagle said.
“Don’t be a prude, old timer.” Rikuo sighed.
“I’m not a prude. I was married and a good love life with my wife if you must know…But now she’s gone and while I’m young I’m technically an old man and I feel I can’t enter a meaningful relationship because I’d feel icky going after younger women…I am sad now…” Kinjiro said.
“Oh, I’m sorry?” Rikuo said awkwardly.
“What were we talking about again?” Sumino said, staring at Kinky No.1 beautiful bouncing bumpers.
“You know I haven’t seen a Dress Guard arrive yet, we received the warning, why does it take so long?” Hoeru/GozyuWolf wondered.
Soon a different mecha came in but it wasn’t a dress guard. It resembled a female, Silver version of Tegasword, with a X on her chest and themed after a gun instead of a blade. Inside was Ring Hunter Garyudo, piloting her. “Queen TegaJune of the Bridan has arrived!”
“Oh shit!” a voice cursed, as Hoeru needed to take a while to think whom it belonged to. He had heard the voice before but it sounded unusually scared and uncomfortable. He realized it was TegaSword. “It’s my ex!”
“Ex?” Hoeru asked.
“TegaSword, you utter bastard!” TegaJune roared out in anger.
“My Queen?” Garyudo asked surprised.
“Hush now, Gary, mommy is talking!” TegaJune said.
The Gozyugers and Bridan on the ground also halted their fight to look how the situation with the mecha would unfold.
“Hey Junie, long time no see…you’re looking good!” TegaSword said, trying to sound smooth.
“Don’t you ‘Junie’ me, not after you left me at the altar!” TegaJune said.
“Important business came up. You know, the Calamity and all.” TegaSword said, putting the tips of his index fingers together.
“Oh, that happened three months after we were supposed to get hitched! I waited three months at that altar, you know! And you didn’t come.” TegaJune said.
“What the fuck, TegaSword?” Hoeru asked.
“I got cold feet!” TegaSword threw up his hands. “Besides, we wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the marriage for long since the Calamity happened and I was there to stop it.”
“Oh and you did such a great job of that!” TegaJune said as she switched to a sarcastic tone. “The multiverse is a mess, the Sentai mecha are inactive, you drag my people and this world’s people in a tournament, well done!”
“I did the best what I could do, it was kind of a split decision done in desperation. The calamity was a really powerful enemy!” TegaSword defended himself.
“Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. You fucked everything up. You fucked up everything expect me in the carnal sense!” Tegajune said as she stretched out her index finger, before having it go limp symbolizing some male anatomy. “You were a horrible lay as well as a horrible fiancée. I faked half my orgasms!”
“DAMN!” Rikuo said. “That was a burn.”
“I dunno if we should do something…” Sumino said with hesitation in her voice.
“You could do me…” Kinky No.1 said as she licked the handle of her whip in a suggestive manner.
“TegaSword-sama was engaged? No, he should be with that mecha woman! He should be with me, no one is more devoted to him than me!” Ryugi whined.
“Am I glad, that our marriage is much healthier and lovelier than those two.” Mrs. Sweet Cake said. “We are always on line with everything, aren’t we darling.”
“Of course we are, and it is bliss to be part of the same being with you every day.” Mr. Shining Knife said to his wife.
“If you are sharing the same body, how do you two…” Rikuo asked.
“NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”
“TegaSword kind of sounds like a dick.” Kinjiro said. “In my day we know how to treat and respect a woman.
One Aryee asked: “But you are so young!”
“Oh, I only appear young, I’m really an old man whom thanks to TegaSword I get a second chance at youth as long as I eat eggs. I dunno why the egg thing though.” Kinjiro replied.
“And why does he get two powers? He has great eyesight and youth and I’m just stuck with good hearing.” Rikuo sighed.
“Why did TegaSword do that, actually?” Sumino asked.
“Oh, I thought it’d be interesting.” TegaSword replied. “Also funny!”
“And that’s another thing with you, the stupid shit you do on a whim because you think it was fun, like that time you decided to plop down on Boondario in his trailer mode and use him for a joyride, before…” TegaJune rambled.
“…Run to Dino Earth, max out your creditcards for shitty mecha-dinosaur riding lessons. Goddamn it whore, you will NOT let that go!” TegaSword said.
“I hate to say it, but I am kind of on her side, you sound pretty horrible.” Hoeru noted.
“Don’t get in the middle of this!” TegaSword growled.
“I am literally inside you, how can I not be involved?” Hoeru asked. “And I don’t want to be dealing with this.”
“Speak for yourself, I live for this drama!” Garyudo said, munching on popcorn.
“Where did you get that?” Hoeru asked.
“Snacks! Get your snacks!” a guy appeared next to Hoeru in the cockpit.
“What the…hey, you’re that guy that appears to cheer us on whenever we engage in a contest. What are you doing here, and why do you have snacks?” Hoeru asked.
“Oh, that gig is fun but doesn’t pay well so I take jobs on the side. So…feeling peckish?”
“…yeah, you know what, give me one of those sausages on a stick.” Hoeru said, giving in.
“…I should have gone for your sister, at least she has a bigger chest than yours!” TegaSword says in frustration.
“Oh, my bimbo sister whom can’t transform in her hand or sword mode because her knockers get in the way? I should know that you would prefer girls with no substance, you have none! You do stupid shit for shits and giggles and you mess up your one job…”
“Oh like your shopping sprees for crap you don’t even need, or things you wear once and then forget about it! We’re freakin’ mecha gods, we don’t even need clothes!” TegaSword said
“I want to feel pretty, because I loved you, you dumbass but you barely paid attention. You didn’t pay attention to me, our living situation, your eating habits!”
“We are gods, we don’t need healthy eating! I could indulge.” TegaSword groaned.
“Maybe, but healthy eating may get you in a better mindset since you are so messed up!” TegaJune shot back.
“Oh, you are messed up too! You clearly didn’t get over me since your whole little entourage is themed after weddings. You can’t let it go!” TegaSword said.
“And whose fault is that?” TegaJune said.
“Ok, I may not be innocent but neither are you. You were clingy and naggy, and you used to be so sweet and feisty when we started out, is there something about committing that made you turn into a colossal bitch?” TegaSword rambled.
“You went from a godly mecha sword to a dull butterknife!” TegaJune scolded.
“Pea-shooting bitch!”
“Rusty blade plonker!”
“Pop gun bint!”
Both heaved angrily as they stared at each other. Before they grabbed each other and started to violently make out as they fell to the ground.
“Dude! We’re still inside!” Garyudo said, flummoxed.
“Let me out, let me out!” Hoeru growled.
“If Hoeru and the X-faced dude are inside while they…you know…does that make it an orgy?” Rikuo asked, before Sumino slapped him in the back of his head.
“TegaSword-sama, why?” Ryugi said as he dropped onto his knees in despair.
“There are people watching…with kids!” Kinjiro said. “It’s not only inappropriate to do so in public, but you never even tied the knot!”
Sumino puts her hands on her helmet like she tries to grab her hair. “Why is this my life?”
“Care to vent some of those frustrations, cutie?” Kinky No.1 asked.
Sumino considered. “It is tempting but you are possessing someone and it would feel a bit rapey if I…”
The head of a cute otaku woman popped out from Kinky No.1’s cleavage. “Oh I’m for it, I’m into this shit!” before she slid back in.
“In that case, let’s go!” Sumino said.
“What? But Sumino…” Rikuo said.
“I can’t deal with this insanity now, I need this.” Sumino said.
“Can I join?” Rikuo asked.
“No!” Sumino said flatly as she and the dominatrix monster went somewhere private.
The Aryee decided to excuse themselves as they jumped through a ring back to their world, as the Gozyugers detransformed. “Well, our lives turned weird…” Rikuo said. He felt a weight on his leg as Bouquet clung to his leg, wide eyes and drooling. “Ok, I’m freaked out.”
“Tegasword-sama, look at what you’re missing!” Ryugi said, now stark naked.
“Put on some pants, kid!” Kinjiro said as he covered his eyes.