A Prudance Care About Dinner
February 14th, 18:05
Snape’s POV:
Severus knew he’d regret his excessive imbibing of alcohol in the morning.
As he sat at the High Table (after carefully checking that there were no owls or guests anywhere nearby), he bitterly regretted not having a spare Sobriety Potion in his stores. He so rarely got drunk (typically, just one or two measures was enough to loosen him up for the next day) that he hadn’t considered restocking it a top priority.
From his (limited) prior experience of getting drunk, he knew he’d spend tomorrow swinging between intently examining the toilet and intently studying his empty plate. This would be followed by wishing that someone would chop his head off, thinking that everyone was yelling at the top of their lungs and (best of all) gulping water like there was going to be a decade-long drought.
Even better was the fact that those symptoms would be incurable. The only thing that would alleviate them would be the Potion that he didn’t have.
Hence, his less-than-happy mood. The only good thing was he managed to turn his robes back to their natural black colour.
“I wonder where the 8th years are,” commented Minerva as she sat down beside Severus. He winced.
“I don’t care where they are. I ju-”
“WHAT!?” she shrieked, ignoring his wince (seems like the loud noises have started early, he thought).
“Merlin woman, will you keep it down? Some of us are trying to have a QUIET dinner, which isn’t helped by your wailing,” he snarled. She looked at him.
“I’m surprised at you, Severus. I thought you’d want to give out to them for inviting Lockhart into the castle and beating you in a duel. Guess I don’t know you as well as I thought,” noted Minerva, reaching across to grab a leg of chicken. He took his head out of his hands and glared at her, but she pretended not to notice. He snorted, then frowned.
Now that she mentioned it, he would like to give the 8th year students a piece of his mind. They invited The Cretin *<>* into Hogwarts, and he’d annoyed Severus enough that he’d snapped. The embarrassment of losing a duel to The Cretin could have been avoided if they hadn’t decided it would be a great idea to invite him *{}* to give a Valentines-themed talk.
He looked around, but as Minerva had previously said, they weren’t in the Great Hall yet. A few other people were not eating, but he knew they always came down to dinner later. However, that wasn’t usually the case with the oldest students. So he couldn’t help his curiosity from running through all the reasons why they weren’t down yet.
Finishing homework?
He doubted it. It was a very slim chance that they would all need to finish a piece of homework at the same time.
Talking?
Once again, he doubted it. Mr Weasley seemed angry with some of his roommates, which would inevitably cause a split among them as everyone chose a side in the argument.
Arguing?
Possibly. He didn’t think all of them would get involved in an argument, but it was possible.
Or maybe-
Severus’s musings were interrupted by a faint sound coming from the ceiling of the Great Hall. It sounded like a musical instrument, but he couldn’t be sure. Who would be stupid enough to play a musical instrument up in the roof, he thought, glancing up to try to locate it.
Of course, there was no one up there, nor was there a musical instrument of any kind. The sound continued to play, and as he finally realised it was a piano playing, several students stood up. As he quickly counted them (12), he tried to see who they were. Unfortunately, they were all wearing black robes with the hoods up. With a start, he realised they were all wearing Slytherin robes.
That didn’t make sense, though. When the students got up, not all of them had come from the Slytherin Table. 5 had come from Gryffindor, two from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and three from Slytherin. They split themselves into six pairs.
The pairs split up into two lines, both standing up on the House Tables. One line faced the High Table and took out their wands, Transfiguring the robes into a pale pink dress with a puffy-out bottom, but it still had the black hood and Slytherin crest attached. He reckoned it was to make the dress swirl around if they decided to do some spins.
As the (Severus guessed) males walked towards the females, the females turned towards them as the males put their hands around the female’s torsos. Severus had the feeling that there should be singing to go along with the dance. He also thought that he would recognise the music if he could put voices to the dance and music.
The females pressed themselves against the males and grabbed their biceps. At the same time, the male’s hands rose further up their backs. The males held the females and swung them around while still holding on to their backs, with an appreciative “ooh” from the students. They then turned, so the females looked over their left shoulder at the males, looking like they were about to kiss. As drums and a guitar started playing, the males spun the females out and back.
They did some forward-back steps with their feet with some more spins. Severus still couldn’t place where he knew the music from, but as the females shook their heads (still in the hoods), he had the feeling it was probably considered an erotic dance.
The students watching seemed to be enjoying the spectacle: there were numerous cheers and claps. He noted with disgust that the other Professors seemed to be enjoying it as much, if not more, than the students. Most of them were tapping their fingers, stomping their feet or clapping their hands to the beat.
The males grabbed the females and brought them in for a raised spin, with the females doing the splits in mid-air, which got a big cheer from students and Professors alike. Severus didn’t cheer. It was nagging him: he knew he knew the song’s name. It was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t think of it.
The males spun the females around again, kissed their hands and leapt off the House Tables. They continued dancing in the gaps between the tables while the females remained standing, not dancing anymore. The males did some dance moves from the floor (I hope the House Elfs forgot to clean the floor and their robes get dirty, Severus thought). They stood up, making motions for the other students to join (unfortunately, the vast majority did).
They danced their way back up through the tables until they were all dancing in the space between the High Table and the House Tables. He was the only one seated now: the students who weren’t dancing were milling around in the crowd. The other Professors were also standing. The males who were part of the original group stopped dancing and faced the females standing on the tables.
As some of the new crowd of dancers lifted them off the table, the females ran over to the males, who grabbed them by the waists and lifted them over their heads until the females were wholly suspended in the air, parallel to the ground. Severus, with a start, realised that he had been right when he believed he knew the song. It was from Dirty Dancing, a movie that had been very popular amongst muggles 11 years previously.
That summer spent at Spinner’s End had been horrible. He couldn’t walk the streets without hearing people talking about this movie. Although he didn’t watch it (he had better things to do with his time), there had been a flood of promotions for dance instructions who’d used parts of the final dance. So many commercials, in fact, that he could have learned how to do that dance just from watching only the advertisements.
As the females were being lifted up, the hoods fell off the females, revealing their faces. At the same time, the males spun themselves around */\*, which also caused their hoods to fall back from their faces. Severus was stupefied to find out that he recognised all the student’s faces.
It was himself.
Or, more precisely, it was himself before The Cretin had managed to turn his hair purple.
As they danced some more (thankfully, it was much tamer than had previously occurred. He didn’t think he’d be able to live with the sight of himself grinding against… himself), the other students, who had previously just been swaying their hips, danced with their own partners. Even the other Professors were getting into pairs and dancing. It was only when his twelve lookalikes started walking out of the Great Hall, leaving everyone else still dancing, that Severus snapped out of his shock.
He stood up, prowling around the High Table and into the group of dancers. As he tried to force his way through, he saw one of his lookalikes say something to the group, who all turned around and glanced at him. They waved at him in a way he would never even consider and strode out of the Hall.
By the time he managed to extract himself from the mass of dancers and make it to the doors, they were long gone. He didn’t reenter the Great Hall. Instead, he stalked towards his bottle of Ogden’s.
Hermione’s POV:
(The previous evening)
The person who had suggested they all do a dance while looking like Professor Snape obviously hadn’t put much thought into it.
Firstly, it took over an hour for them all to decide on a dance.
Secondly, it turned out that the only people who actually knew the dance was Harry (he had snuck behind the Dursley’s couch to watch it when he was younger) and her.
Thirdly, it took them almost the whole night to teach them all the moves.
Fourthly, since there were more boys than girls, there was an argument over which male would join the girls for the dance, only ended when Terry commented that no one would know who was who since they’d all look like Professor Snape and the worst dancer among the males should just join the girls.
After a quick mini dance battle determined that Terry was the worst among the boys, it was up to both of them to teach the rest of their classmates the moves as it got later into the evening. Some had to leave to get things or write letters (honestly, sometimes Ron could actually be clever. Why hadn’t she thought of checking to see if the twins had some Polyjuice in stock?).
She and Harry, exhausted, finally pronounced their classmates “decent” when the sun was just rising, leaving Parvati enough time to get to St. Mungo’s and back before Breakfast started.
Terry’s POV:
(Present time)
Terry sat at the table for Dinner with his hood up. It had been his idea to Disillusion the Slytherin Crest until the music started so the people they sat beside wouldn’t be too suspicious. Even for those previously in Slytherin, it would be unusual for them to wear a Slytherin Crest, as the 8th year students didn’t have Houses. He had been asked a few times about his hood, but he just said that he’d been dared to wear it for the duration of Dinner, and they backed off.
Terry and the rest of his classmates stood up as the opening notes began playing and went to stand beside Ron (the partner he’d been assigned to during the previous evening’s practice). He nodded at Ron before they jumped up onto the nearest House Table (by chance, Gryffindor’s). He Transfigured the robes he was wearing into the dress Hermione promised looked like the dress the woman in the movie had worn.
He personally thought it looked horrible, but no one had asked for his opinion.
As he and Ron went through the moves, the other students were enjoying watching them. There was a constant stream of claps, cheers and “Nice one”s coming from them. There were even a few nice enough to Evanesco the food off the table.
As Ron spun him out and back in, he grinned.
“Bet this time yesterday you didn’t think you’d spend Dinner dancing on one of the House Tables,” he joked. Ron snorted.
“Of course I didn’t”.
“What do you think of it?”
“I’m enjoying it. I just wish someone hadn’t Vanished the food. I’m starving!” moaned Ron.
“If they hadn’t, we’d be stepping in it, so we couldn’t eat it”.
“Why not? I’ll eat anything when I’m hungry enough”.
“I know,” groaned Terry, thinking of all the disgusting food combinations he’d been unfortunate enough to see him eat.
He cursed under his breath when it came to doing the mid-air splits, earning a laugh from Ron before the other boys jumped off the House Tables and tried to get the other students to also dance. He was actually glad he wasn’t involved in this part: anyone who saw him attempt to copy them would run a mile rather than join in with him. He was happy to note that even the Professors enjoyed themselves and were also joining in with the dancing - well, apart from Professor Snape, which they had expected.
Terry laughed to himself at the thought of Professor Snape’s reaction. He brought himself back to the present as he saw the other males stop dancing. This is the one part I can’t afford to mess up, he thought, as the other students came to lift the girls and him off the House Tables. He heard Ron grunt in surprise as he was lifted into the air.
“Merlin, you’re heavier than I thought you’d be”.
“Shut it,” he muttered as he let his hood fall back off his face along with the girls. In a split second, before they were spun around and the other lads revealed their faces, he saw the students’ expressions of shock and humour. The Professors looked even more shocked: some even turned back to the High Table as if they were checking that Professor Snape was still seated.
As for the man himself, Professor Snape had looked like a feather could knock him over. It was the first time Terry had ever seen him with his mouth gaping open, and he intended to remember it for as long as possible.
Ron put him down, and they danced more calmly together. He could see the other pairs dancing, keeping their attention split between their partner, Professor Snape and making sure the exit route wasn’t blocked.
“Look,” observed Ron, pointing, “the Professors are joining in”.
As he looked to where Ron was indicating, he saw Madame Pomfrey and Professor Flitwick doing a slow tango. Professor Minerva and Hagrid were barely managing a waltz: Hagrid kept stepping on Professor Minerva’s toes. The Headmaster and Madame Hooch were dancing their own interpretation of the quickstep.
The only person not dancing was the actual Professor Snape, who seemed to be getting over his shock. Terry glanced at the other pairs, motioning towards the door. They got his meaning and started towards the doors. They came together in a group, chatting excitedly.
“That was amazing,” enthused Parvati.
“We should definitely do this again,” agreed Lavender.
“You stood on my toes at one point,” complained Susan.
“I didn’t!” replied Blaise indignantly.
“Did you see Snape’s face?” chortled Ron.
“I know!” declared Hermione.
“I don’t know how I stopped myself from laughing,” snorted Harry.
“Same here! He looked like he’d just been told he was going to have to marry Umbridge,” supplied Draco.
“Merlin!” moaned Padma
“Thanks for that,” whined Pansy.
“Now I’m going to have to erase that mental image from my head,” remarked Terry.
“He’s coming,” noted Hannah.
As they turned around, Terry saw that Professor Snape wasn’t seated at the High Table anymore. A quick scan of the Hall located him in the group of students still dancing.
“Let’s mess with his head. Everyone, do the Queen wave,” ordered Hermione. He looked at what she was doing, then copied her. He saw the others glancing at Hermione out of the corner of their eyes, also imitating her. Terry saw Professor Snape’s slight confusion before turning around, and they walked out of the Great Hall.
Once they were out of sight, Harry directed them towards a secret passage behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy on the First Floor so they could make a quick getaway before the Potion wore off.
Terry was glad that his part was over. It had been a lot of fun, but he was exhausted from the lack of sleep the previous evening. Along with a few others, he went straight to bed once they got back to the Common Room.
He wanted to enjoy as much sleep as possible. He had a feeling that if Professor Snape found out what they had done to him, they wouldn’t be getting much sleep for quite a while.
Next: Detention. A chance for Severus to show students the consequences of their actions. A miserable experience for the students since they do his unwanted tasks for him, but an enjoyable one for him. Or at least, that’s usually how it goes. Of course, because of the day that’s in it, things don’t work out as planned.)