The Rematch Everyone Wants
February 14th, 14:00
Snape’s POV:
Severus stood in the Great Hall, looking at the Duelling Platform. He could see that almost all the students were there, and all his Slytherins had come. They had tried to suggest some spells to him, but most of them he already knew, and the rest of their suggestions were “creative” ways to use some spells outside of their intended purpose. The only advice he’d thought could be helpful was Dracos. He suggested using Arresto Momentum on Lockhart to slow down his reactions to any further spells he might cast.
He’d considered it, but in the end, decided that, since it was only Lockhart he was Duelling, it wouldn’t be necessary. He’d then got rid of them and reached for another measure of Ogden’s (12 in 9 hours. It’s a wonder I’m not yet a raging alcoholic, he thought). It certainly wasn’t part of his usual routine for preparing for a duel. Still, he figured he’d need it to deal with the annoyance of Lockhart’s asinine spells.
One of which was still in effect.
He’d used the remainder of the time casting every counter-spell he knew, but his hair was still purple and still sticking up. He stopped his attempts only when he walked out of his chambers to head for the Great Hall.
Turning towards Lockhart, Severus was pleased to see that he didn’t have many supporters on his side of the Hall. There were only most female students from 5th year and lower (thankfully, his Slytherins weren’t simpering at Lockhart), and…
His eyebrows rose when he saw all of the 8th-years on Lockhart’s side of the Hall. Surely they could remember the unmitigated walking disaster that had been Lockhart’s attempts at teaching?
Severus had been in his 4th year when Lockhart was a first-year *<>*. Lockhart had expected to astound everyone with his intelligence due to his vanity, arrogance, and an inflated sense of his own importance. Sorted into Ravenclaw, he’d quickly realised that, while he may have been an intelligent student, he was only average by Ravenclaw standards. Thankfully, Lockhart’s path had rarely crossed his, but that all changed during his first year of teaching. In his 7th year and still believing in his self-importance, Lockhart had challenged him on his method of cutting ingredients, as if he too was a Potions Master.
Thoroughly annoyed by his stupidity, Severus told Lockhart to teach the class how to brew their current Potion in the next lesson. If he refused to do it, 30 points would be taken from Ravenclaw, and he’d get detention for the rest of the year for disrespecting a Professor. If the class made the Potion better, Severus would drink his entire stock of poisons in front of them.
But if Lockhart’s teaching resulted in more accidents than had occurred in that day’s lesson (only one), 150 points would be taken off Ravenclaw. The whole class would also get detention for the rest of the year. Thankfully, Lockhart had learned to keep his mouth shut, and Severus learned how to pretend not to see the other students messing up Lockhart’s Potions for the rest of the year.
Returning his thoughts to the present day, he looked at Lockhart’s unexpected supporters again. The only person he couldn’t see was Blaise, but when he checked the crowd gathered on his side of the Hall, Mr Zabini was still nowhere to be seen. He shrugged. He probably didn’t want to watch, he reckoned.
Even Potter was on Lockhart’s side, which surprised him. He’d heard from the Slytherins that, after the Cornish Pixies episode, Lockhart had spent the rest of the year giving them a theatrical performance of his “achievements”. Potter had become like a one-man theatre artist, forced to play the part of any character needed.
Had he enjoyed it? Surely not?
As Albus directed them to their positions, Severus was amused to realise that they were in the same places they had been six years previously. Lockhart had his back to the doors and he had his back to the High Table. He was looking forward to Lockhart looking like the complete fool that he was in front of everyone.
“The rules are simple. The winner is the one who forces their opponent out of the Hall - Severus, by sending Gilderoy out the doors, or Gilderoy, by sending Severus through the window - or who knocks their opponent unconscious for 10 seconds. No spells that could land the caster in Azkaban shall be used,” declared Albus, with a glance towards him at the last sentence.
He sneered at Albus. He had worked hard to keep himself out of Azkaban. He wouldn’t throw that work out of the way for the sake of a slight advantage in an easily won duel.
“The duel shall commence on my mark,” stated Albus as he stood to the side of the Duelling Platform. He and Lockhart got into the appropriate stance.
“Three”.
“Now, Severus, are you sure you don’t want to bow out? No one would blame you for not wanting to face an honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League in a duel,” remarked Lockhart with a foolish smile that flashed all his teeth.
“Two”.
“You wish,” he ground out, getting another momentary flash of déjà vu. As he saw Potter grin, he realised this flash had come from Draco’s and Potter’s duel from their second year. From the odd gleam that came to Lockhart’s eyes, he too obviously remembered.
“One”.
“You just gave me a splendid idea. For that, I thank you,” remarked Lockhart.
“Mark!”
“Serpensortia Non Evanescant!” *()*
A snake flew through the air towards him. He cast a non-verbal Vipera Evanesca, only to dodge a Colour-Changing Charm sent his way. When he realised the snake hadn’t vanished and was now hissing at him, he cast Depulso on it, sending it towards Potter since he was the only one who’d be able to calm it down.
“I don’t remember the Headmaster saying we can involve other people in this duel, Severus,” commented Lockhart as he cast Protego to stop Severus’s jinx.
“If you want to bring a snake into the fight and leave no way to get rid of it before it can harm the students, then I’ll send it to the only person in Hogwarts who’s a Parselmouth,” he replied. He cast a silent Deterioration Hex at Lockhart, which he managed to avoid.
Lockhart laughed.
“It certainly looks like the snake is calm,” Lockhart remarked, gesturing to the right. When he looked (not entirely avoiding a charm that seemed to do nothing. Probably another one of the useless spells he invented, he thought), he saw the snake back in the middle of the length of the Duelling Platform. It was turning his head back and forward as they continued to cast spells, reminding Severus of people watching a Muggle tennis match.
The sight caused him enough amusement that he didn’t see Lockhart’s Petrificus Totalus coming towards him, quickly followed by a Stupefy that sent him flying out through the window.
Severus was so shocked that he almost hit the ground before he managed to cast Finite Incantatem non-verbally. With seconds to spare, he used Arresto Momentum (not how I had intended to use that spell in a duel, he thought) to prevent him from hitting Rubeus’s house.
He flew back up to the castle, entering through the hole in the window his exit had made. Casting Reparo, he floated back down to the Duelling Platform, where the 8th-years were gathered around Lockhart.
“... you made him look like an idiot, B-” said Ms Bones, before Ms Brown (who had caught sight of him) elbowed her in the ribs, gesturing towards him. As he was contemplating the little he had overheard, Lockhart turned towards him.
“Ah, Severus. You put up a splendid show. Commendable. Of course, I was always going to beat you, but congratulations on dragging it out for so long,” declared Lockhart with a simper. Severus was furious with himself for becoming distracted and losing, but none of that was visible on his face.
“Now, you remember the forfeit? That you’re not allowed to cast any more spells on me unless I allow you, for the rest of my life?” queried Lockhart.
“I remember,” Severus ground out.
“Good, good. Now, I need to be going. Some urgent business that I can’t miss,” Lockhart said abruptly, walking backwards out of the Hall. “Nice to see you all again, and have a splendid Valentines...”
He wasn’t concentrating on Lockhart’s asinine goodbye. He was focusing on Lockhart’s face, which seemed to be… rippling. Was he drunk, or was Lockhart’s hair changing from blonde to black? Before he could fully consider this, Lockhart turned around and strode out of the Great Hall. Severus went to follow him, but Albus stepped in front of him.
“Today is a day for firsts,” Albus noted. He snarled.
“Yes. I lost a duel I should have easily won. No need to rub it in, Albus,” he snapped. Albus chuckled with that blasted twinkle in his eye.
“Oh, I don’t mean the outcome of the duel. No, I mean you and your departure from your usual wardrobe choices”.
“What are you blathering on about now, Albus? I have worn black robes for almost seventeen years, and I have never changed since,” he replied scathingly.
Albus didn’t reply, merely waving his wand and conjuring a mirror. Curious, Severus looked to see what the old coot was talking about. When he saw that his customary black robes were now a neon pink, he roared so loud that a boy, only just getting back to his Common Room in time, heard and laughed.
“LOCKHART!!!”
Blaise’s POV:
Blaise had to admit it: Lavender’s purple-hair spell was terrific. As Professor Snape stood waiting for the duel to commence, Blaise got some advice from his classmates.
“Use Serpensortia,” suggested Harry.
“He’ll just vanish the snake,” noted Terry.
“Add Non Evanescant to the end of the spell. That’ll mean Snape can’t get rid of it,” commented Hermione.
“If he can’t vanish the snake, he could send it over to Harry. He is the only Parselmouth in Hogwarts,” commented Hannah. Everyone nodded: it was the kind of strategy they could see Snape coming up with.
“If he does, I’ll tell the snake to stay in the middle of the Platform and watch like a spectator at a tennis match,” announced Harry. Only Hermione understood the joke: Harry used up the time before the Duel started explaining it to everyone else.
“Gilderoy, you will stand on this side. Severus, you will face him,” declared the Headmaster. As Blaise stood on the Platform, he continued Lavender’s tactic of “Lockhart” being annoying by pretending Professor Snape had given him an idea for a spell to use. He used the spell Hermione recommended, following it up with a Colour-Changing Charm which Professor Snape avoided. When he realised he couldn’t vanish the enraged snake, he sent it over to Harry.
Blaise commented about not involving other students to distract Professor Snape from the snake moving to the middle of the Platform. He motioned towards it once he waited long enough for the snake to settle in (and narrowly avoided a hex during his distracted state). Sufficiently distracted, Professor Snape didn’t notice the disguised Colour-Changing Charm hit him and didn’t manage to dodge his Petrificus Totalus and Stupefy combination. He was sent flying out the window like a pink bat, making “Lockhart” the winner.
“Nice one, mate,” said Draco, slapping him on the back.
“Good spell combination,” enthused Padma.
“It was nice to see how you made him look like an idiot, B-” Susan was cut off by Lavender elbowing her in the ribs and whispering “Snape”. Guessing that Professor Snape had overheard part of the conversation, Blaise turned around and tried to distract him by reminding him of the forfeit he’d put forward.
He looked discreetly at his watch, horrified to realise his time was up. As he made his excuses, he was sure Professor Snape was watching as he felt his features begin to bubble. He hadn’t imagined the confused look on Professor Snape’s face as he turned and walked out of the Great Hall. Once he was out of sight, he began to run back towards their Common Room before the Potion completely wore off.
Blaise reached the Common Room just as a roar of “LOCKHART!!!” echoed up from the Great Hall. He stopped, threw his head back and laughed.
He was glad Professor Snape had agreed to the forfeit. If he ever found out… Well, it would probably save Blaise’s life at some point.
Next: Severus is thankful to have gotten to Dinner. Lockhart has left, there are no owls (although his hair still looks atrocious), but at least he can have his dinner in peace. This has been - Wait. Is that music? Why does he have a bad feeling about the fact that he recognises the music from somewhere?)