Chapter 5
Nobody is coming to save you.
~~~
I see him laughing with his friends and it feels as though he doesn’t even remember me. I wish to hug him one last time.
~~~
The pain is too much. Perhaps I’ll just let go.
~~~
I cannot forget the feeling of blood dripping down my arms
It is ingrained in my memory forever
The sound of their shouting
The blurry faces crowding around me
I see her, I smile
She lets out a choked sob
I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me
When I woke up she glared at me
“You are never allowed to leave me, not like that. Do you understand?”
“Of course Panda”
Anything for her.
~~~
She came to save me.
~~~
They all look at me differently now
Their eyes follow me
They pity me
They treat me as if I’ll break
I will not break
That was only a lapse in judgment
I can never escape
I know that now
~~~
He tried to talk to me today. The whole school really does know about me, even Gryffindor. I couldn’t do it. He doesn’t get to decide to care about me now. He left. He ignored me for months. He lost his chance. I had Panda send him away. She was at my bedside the whole time I was in the infirmary. She is the only good thing the blackhole hasn’t destroyed. I intend to keep it that way.
~~~
“From my rotting body flowers shall grow and I am in them, and that is eternity”
-Edvard Munch