Chapter 2
I am entranced by him
His beauty is like no other
His lips lure me in like the siren they are
But when I listen to the song
I am not met with my inevitable doom quite yet
I am met with his embrace
He melts down into the cracks of my shattered heart
He fills them until I feel whole again
I wish to feel like this all of the time
I know that is not possible though
Not for someone like me
So I pull away
The cracks come back bigger than before
~~~
He seems to be the only one that can keep me together currently. I shouldn’t feel this way toward anyone. Especially not someone like him.
~~~
His eyes find me across the common room
They have a glint to them that I just can’t seem to ignore
His smirk pulls me closer until I am standing in front of him
By this point, I am too weak to pull away
~~~
I am Regulus Arcturus Black.
I am the perfect canvas for your needs.
I am the Heir to the Nobel House of Black.
I am a follower of the Dark Lord.
I am a pure-blood.
I am a Slytherin.
I am the perfect son.
I am an only child.
~~~
He tells me that it is “okay”
Okay to hold him
Okay to kiss him
Okay to “love” him
He whispers it all as I cry to him that I am broken
He tells me he doesn’t care
We can be broken together
As long as we’re “happy”
I don’t think I am capable of being “happy”
~~~
Love
What does it mean to love someone?
Does it mean to control every aspect of their life?
Does it mean to hurt them for their “own good?”
No, they all tell me no
“That isn’t love”
Then what is?
What is this mysterious thing you expect me to know,
To feel?
“It is the shine in your eyes when you look at him,” she tells me
“It is how the whole world could be falling apart and you two only look at each other,” he adds
I don’t love him.
They’re wrong
I can’t love him.
They’re wrong
I am Regulus Arcturus Black.
I am not a queer.