Package in the Barrow
Sirius woke up on the couch to a rather loud owl watching him from the coffee table, clutching some sort of message. He stiffled a groan as he stretched- his neck was arched back uncomfortably over the armrest the whole night. Ow.
The owl screeched at him, reminding him to wake up and read his mail. He could tell by the red seal who it was from. Regardless, Peter probably hadn't bothered. Prick. Sirius snatched up the paper, popping open the wax.
You're fucking crazy, it read.
That was all.
It was from Potter, of course. At least the bastard took him seriously. He unfolded the rest of the letter.
Another slip of paper fell out. His neck popped while he was trying to read it. Ow. It was a list of books, signed by James, telling him they might be useful. Sirius scoffed. He would have to thank him later.
He stood then, heading over to make breakfast. He tied back his black hair, eyeing the newspaper. He needed a haircut soon. He put some bacon to cook for him and Remus, and pulled a stool up next to the stove. He skimmed through the newspaper, and then tossed it in the bin.
Two More Families Found Dead After Werewolf Pack...
The headlines would stress his Moony out. It was easier this way, if Sirius could save him from the uneeded extra stress where he could. The war was a stressful topic. They weren't talking about it.
He moved the bacon onto a plate, and went to go open the shutters. The morning glow was always nice, but he found it easier to stay awake with more light in the apartment.
"Shit," he cursed, the light straining his eyes. Sirius was not a morning person when he woke up alone. That was his fault though. His problem. Worth it for Moony, though.
He'd only finished shoving some bacon into his mouth when the door sounded. It was weird, really. It had to be a muggle, of course, because anyone else could have just used the floo. They person knocked again, harder this tine, and Sirius went warily to answer.
"Hello...?" he said, opening the door to a man in a bright yellow track suit, with red letters reading DHL. Behind him, he towed a bright red plastic wheelbarrow with a rather large box in it.
"Are you Sirius Black?" he asked.
"Yeah. What is this though?"
The postman shrugged. "Just doing my job kid," he said, offering the wheelbarrow hadle to him.
"Uhh... thanks," he said, confused.
Sirius looked down at the cart, and back up again. The postman was gone.
"Huh," Remus said, appearing behind him in the doorway. "What in the everloving fuck is that," he said, pointing to the giant mass of, well, box.
"No idea."
Remus helped him bring it inside, and they finished breakfast together.
"I wonder what we're supposed to do with a damn wheelbarrow," Sirius said, apparently pondering ideas. "I mean, how did he even get it up here."
"Pft. I just wanna know what's in the box." Remus went over to it, inspecting it thoroughly.
"Maybe it's a Christmas gift?" Sirius offered, grabbing the scissors out of the kitchen. "It is in a few weeks."
"Yeah maybe," Remus responded. "Who's it from?" There was no label, or indicator on the outside of the box.
"We're gonna find out I guess."
Sirius pulled out the box and set it on the carpet. He almost dropped it, not expecting it to be so heavy. He sighed, cutting away at the tape.
Remus pulled away the cardboard flapss, and they both peered inside. The first thing Sirius noticed was a notecard attached to one of the flaps.
Peter Pettigrew, it read.
Weird.
The second thing, however, was that it was filled to the brim with foam. Pink, lightweight styrofoam stuffing.
Sirius laughed, "What the fuck even...," and then threw a handful at Remus.
"You better watch it, Padfoot," he responded, already on board with their usual nonsense. Remus took a handful of foam pieces and threw them back at Sirius, directly at his face.
"Pft. You bastard!" Sirius laughed. He scooped up a handful, and reached over, shoving them at Remus' mouth.
Remus played along, closing his mouth over a few of them, so that his mouth bubbled up.
Sirius was hysterical. "HAHA.. You should see your face right now oh my god- AH!"
Sirius screamed, dodging, as Remus shot one of them from his mouth at him, then another. Sirius was unlucky enough to be hit twice. Remus really did hav good aim.
"Eew Moony you're gonna get your spit on me." Sirius rolled his eyes.
"It was well deserved, posh boy," he said, ruffling Sirius' hair. "I could've suffocated, you know."
"Yeah right." He said, strands of his hair falling into his face.
"These puffs are dangerous, Padfoot," Remus said, holding up one of the pink puffs in his hand. With the other, he tucked a strand of Sirius' hair behind his ear. His face was stone serious through, and Sirius had a hard time trying not to laugh.
"Awh," he bit out. "I'm sorry then. Here, I'll make it up to you," he said, leaning forward and pressing an apologetic kiss to Remus' lips.
"Hm," Remus whispered between their lips. "Gotcha."
He pulled out his wand.
Sirius didn't notice until it was too late, and all of the foam that was in the box a second ago came tumbling down over his head.
Remus was rolling on the floor with laughter at that point.
"Stupid pink things," Sirius grumbled, lazily falling back onto the floor next to Remus. "You win," he smiled.
"Mm. Maybe next time," Remus said, out of breath. He layed still. "Was that all that was in the box? It looked heavy."
"Oh I didn't look yet."
They peered into the box again, this time with no foam. There at the bottom, lay a rather strange looking gun. The metal was a sleek, shining blue. The barrel was the most bizzare, though. The entire thing was excessively large and round and just odd. They stared.
"Jesus. What is it?" Remus asked.
Sirius was stunned.
No way.
No fucking way!!
"Remus, oh my god," he said, his hands working at the cool, sleek metal. "It's a fucking shrink ray!"