Say Goodbye to your Heart: A Cat!Draco Compilation

Dear Hermione, 

This is Lynx Draco, not Lynx, Draco. I know I'm not great with words. I never was. I know I liked to talk in Hogwarts. I thought by filling the space with sounds, I would be heard. And I think I was scared me saying anything would only serve to hurt you. That's my way, isn't it?

I bullied you. I did nothing at the Manor. And I let you believe that I was a stray Kneazle. 

So here's the truth. I hope by writing, I don't fuck it up. First, I don't hold onto any of that rot I was raised with. I haven't for a long time, and don't know if I ever truly did. As I said, I liked to talk. And thought if I talked more, I would appear to be the big Wizard I wanted to be. I'm sorry that you bore the brunt of that. I knew what I was doing then. I'm not making excuses, only that I was a stupid, foolish boy who wanted to appear bigger and badder than he was. I'm sorry.

I transformed in front of you, because I didn't have any words for what happened that didn't bring me shame or you more hurt. Here it is. I'm an Animagus. Theo and I went through the process in our foolhardy youth, just trying to think of something to distract us after the war that wasn't fire whiskey or potions. It was a very long and frustrating process that almost a year because we kept mucking it up! We had to keep a mandrake leaf in our mouth for a month. A full month! Without swallowing it! 

We used our newfound powers to spy on the Ministry and any competing apothecary businesses, just to keep tabs on them and for any news of our fathers. 

One day, I found myself being collected by the Magical Creatures Humane Society while skulking around in cat!form in Diagon Alley. They kept the cages under an Unbreakable charm, just in case any of the creatures had a Magical flare up. A division under your Department, I believe. The irony. Life has a sense of humour, because within a few days, you came and chose me. 

You must know I meant to tell you right away. 

But you were so warm, and my life has been cold for so long. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to go back to my empty flat. And you held me. We spent the better part of last year together. Me in your arms. 

[Image: A grey cat asleep in a person's arms. Implied: Hermione holding Lynx.]

I was happy. I was so unused to the feeling that I couldn't even recognize it, let alone admit to it. 

[Image: A white and grey cat smiles. Implied: Lynx smiling at Hermione.]

Despite what I was like at Hogwarts, I like your voice. I liked your smells. I like that you danced off beat while making your morning coffee. I enjoyed our quiet mornings. I liked when we played together. 

[Image/Video: A cat and human hand high five in a bed. Implied: Lynx and Hermione's morning routine.]

[Image: A white, cross-eyed cat being held up by a person. Implied: Hermione playing with barely awake Lynx.]

I liked that we watched Survivor together. I still can't believe you were rooting for Richard Hatch—that complete wanker.

It was warm and comforting. It was the closest thing I felt to home in a long time. You were home. 

I liked it when you took me into work, and I could steal Potter's food and make the Weasel's life miserable.

[Image: A white cat in a woman's arms. Implied: Hermione carrying clingy Lynx to work.]

I like accompanying you with research.

[Video: Lynx wants Hermione's attention while she's reading.]

I like listening to you practice your speeches. Helping Watching you work. How passionate you are about your work and care for your friends and loved one made me fall admire you so much. Things that I never appreciated as a young idiot.

[Image: A grey kitten puts its paws on a person's wrists. Implied: Lynx telling Hermione to take a work break.]

I even liked the gods awful clothes you made me wear. 

[Image: A white cat wearing a hat. Implied: Lynx wearing stupid pet clothes.]

But the best part was having seeing you come home. Although I could never have predicted it would be you, it was you. Regardless of the future, I hope I was sometimes that for you too. 

It was never a joke. Theo told me to tell you earlier. But I was too pro—scar—I hope Lynx Junior is able to rid some of the hurt that I 

[Image: A white cat in a human's arms. Implied: Lynx cuddling with Hermione.]

I was afraid if I told you, I would lose what little I had of you. I knew I had no right to be in your life after all the things I did, and I kept being cowardly about it. That's my MO, isn't it? I haven't even properly apologized for that. I know I deceived you. I hurt you. And I know I keep doing that—have been doing that all my life. 

But enough of that rot. Whatever it was, this isn't about me or what I got out of our relationship-friendship. 

I do not dare ask for your forgiveness, but if you are willing to have a conversation, please come to this address. On your own terms. On your own time. I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you.

 

Yours sincerely and forever,

Draco "Lynx" Malfoy

 

Draco rinsed the nib of his quill and waved his wand over the parchment, "Sabulo."  A rinse of sand shot out onto the paper to dry the ink.

He folded the paper into his breast pocket and walked out of his flat.