Harry Potter and the Unexpected Family

Tony was falling.

He and the rest of the group had all dipped a finger into the weird floaty stuff a second ago, and Tony didn't know about the others, but he expected something like a video in his head where the memories played. He did not expect to be bodily thrown into a bizarre, levitating bucket only to land on his ass in what looked like the middle of a train station. It must be, because there was a big red train off to the side, but that was the only thing that Tony found familiar about the scene.

That's because it was clearly a magic train station.

Or at least, this platform was magical. Tony looked around and couldn't see any tracks or engines apart from the one gleaming red one sitting cheerily off to the side. He could hardly decide where to look first. People were walking around dressed in strange robes and pointy hats (seriously? the pointy hat thing was true? Tony was almost disappointed in the cliché), following school children of all ages as they rushed around dragging huge trunks and waving wands to make things float or get wrinkles out of school uniforms. One kid ate a chocolate and smoke came out of his ears. Another was showing a group of her friends something in a box that seemed to spit fire. There were owls and cats everywhere. It was chaos, and Tony was itching to see everything. Maybe if he got someone into a lab with some sensors he could figure it out… 

The rest of the not-memory-people were standing around him, taking in the scene with expressions varying from appropriate interest to open amazement. Tony stepped up to James, who had landed near Harry.

His feelings surrounding James were complicated at the moment. Some of the initial shock of having found the love of his life again was starting to wear off, and Tony was able to see more of the bigger picture. The old, familiar pain of having been left behind was still there. Whenever he thought about losing James and Lily over the years, it had always felt like a pressure around his lungs, as if his chest was trying to expand but his ribcage wouldn't move to let the air in. Now, he also had to contend with the sharper pain of not being told about his son. James had said that they'd kept him in the dark to protect him from a dangerous war, but Howard's voice was still there in the back of his mind, telling him that, really, they had just finally come to their senses and decided they couldn't spend any more time on someone as broken as him. And not only was Tony hurt by the lie of omission, but Harry had been left to fend for himself in a world that clearly didn't care for his survival. Tony already knew the kid was strong and broken and in need of some serious help. Fuck, the kid was bruised, and when he'd caught them looking at it earlier, he'd glared, as if asking them to question him. If James had truly thought he would be a good dad, he would have told Tony so that he could have been there to prevent that, damn it.

Still, Tony couldn't help but latch on to the man. James was one of exactly six people he had let close, had loved and been loved by in return. Edwin Jarvis, his old butler, had been his true father in every way that mattered, Rhodey and Pepper were his chosen siblings, Happy was a cherished friend, and James and Lily were where he kept his heart. It had been a hard fifteen years living without it, but now that James was back, it felt like he could finally hear his own heartbeats again. It would be way too sappy to say that being with James made him feel whole, so Tony didn't even think it, nope, not once. Still, it just felt right to hold his hand, to feel the same unconditional affection in James's return touches that he did all those years ago.

God, he was such a soft romantic when it came to these two. It really did a number on his suave, sophisticated image. 

Tony hoped that these memories would give some context, and some assurance that James had all of the best interests at heart. Tony had no clue how he was going to raise a kid with the man if he found out that his fears were true.

Tony knew that, if what James had been saying was true, he would forgive him. But he was in for a hell of a screaming match first for all the pain they've all been through.

Tony shook himself out of his thoughts. Right now, he needed to focus on getting answers and getting to know his son, where he now focused his gaze.

"So, what are we watching here, Glinda?"

Harry gave him a flat, unimpressed sort of look. "Glinda? Really, The Wizard of Oz is the best you can do? I thought you were a genius, mate."

Tony smirked, delighted by the kid's sass. "I'll see about upping my game. But why don't you tell me what we're looking at?" He turned to James, thinking that it was his memory so he must know best.

James was looking around with what was clearly nostalgia. "This is one of the requested memories, I believe to verify my identity. This is the day I met Remus, on my first trip to Hogwarts."

Remus stepped forward, addressing everyone. "The pensieve will allow all of us to occupy any space comfortably, no matter how small, but we have to follow those we are interested in observing." He addressed James directly. "Where are you now?"

James nodded just ahead of the group, where a child who was clearly a young James leaned out of a train door, waving to a slightly older couple that stood off to one side. He was all bright hazel eyes and youthful energy. His cheeks were a little fuller in his youth, his hair had a cowlick that made one curl stand almost straight up, and he had knobby knees (that he'd grow into later, thank God) but the rest looked exactly the same. The boy was dressed in a neat, brand new black robe that seemed to be the uniform of the school. The couple he was waving to, pretty clearly his parents, seemed a bit misty-eyed, but excited for the kid who all but bounced in glee and anticipation as he turned to walk down the aisle of the train in search of a compartment.

The group followed, watching as the boy confidently greeted strangers and friends alike.

"Brother, this is you? You are so energetic and sociable!" Thor seemed delighted, if confused.

James' expression took on a bitterness that Tony understood all too well. "That's because, in this life, my gifts and talents were nurtured and I didn't have to earn my parents' love."

Thor sobered a bit at that, no doubt remembering what a dick Odin had been to Loki (if Tony was getting the right impression of the man, and he usually did when it came to this sort of thing, then he was sure the guy would have gotten along great with Howard).

The group pressed on, Remus, James, Harry and Tony in the front of the pack when kid-James finally seemed to find what he was looking for through the window of a compartment, flinging open the door and flopping down on a seat like he owned it.

Tony smiled a bit. James had never grown out of that tendency to make himself, and others, feel at home wherever they were. It was one of the things Tony loved about him. He did seem like a cocky little asshole as a kid though.

Everyone filed into the compartment, and like Remus had said, the space accommodated all of them easily without noticeably changing. Tony's brain was running wild with theories in the background as his main focus stayed on the boys in the train.

There was one kid already in the compartment, pretty clearly this Remus guy as a child. He was lanky, and looked pretty tired and a little sick, if Tony was honest. He had on a well loved knit sweater that had stretched around the wrists, like he pulled it down over his fingers a lot, and simple pants and second hand uniform shoes. His robe was neatly placed on the seat next to him. He'd clearly been reading a book and seemed shocked to find he wasn't alone anymore.

James reached out a hand from where he stretched across the opposite bench. "Hey mate, I'm James Potter."

Remus seemed wary, but slowly extended his hand and shook once before withdrawing it. "I'm Remus Lupin."

James' enthusiasm wouldn't be deterred, though. "Nice to meet you, Remus. I'm rather excited to finally be going off to school. I mean, my parents are cool and all, but they don't want to do anything fun , you know?" Here James jumped up from where he had slouched, all but vibrating in his seat. Remus seemed a bit alarmed by the verbal diarrhea, his eyes a bit wide as James continued. "How about you, do you know what house you'll be in?"

Remus scrunched up his nose in confusion. Harry snorted and elbowed the adult Remus, who gave him a fondly indulgent eye roll. 

Little Remus sounded almost defensive when he responded. "I'm sorry, but why exactly are you asking?"

James Jr. blinked a couple times, before shrugging nonchalantly. "I don't know, mate. You looked like you could use a friend is all."

Remus blushed a bit at that, but seemed a little less on guard. "Well, I suspect I'll be in Ravenclaw." 

Tony had no idea what that meant, but Harry's slight laugh to his left had him smiling regardless. Kid definitely could use a few laughs. He seemed so serious (though Tony suspected he had some Trauma^tm to back that up).

Memory-James brightened, clearly glad to be indulged by the other kid. "Nice! You can help me with my homework then. I think I'll be in Gryffindor like my dad. My mum was in Slytherin, but I suspect she's a lot cleverer than I am."

Both Remus' laughed at that, the young one a bit bashfully, and the elder with a healthy dose of disbelief. Having met an older James, Tony was inclined to agree with the adult; James was a cunning, sneaky bastard when he wanted to pull a prank.

Little James spoke up again. "Hey, do you want to pull a prank on the compartment of third year girls I passed on the way here? My dad took me to Zonko's a couple of weeks ago, so I've got some dungbombs we could plant." 

Remus looked a bit uncomfortable. "I can't get in trouble, especially before we even get to school. I had to get special accommodations to come at all, and I don't want that to be taken away."

Memory-James looked curious, but seemed to have enough tact not to ask. Instead, he gave a slightly softer, though still enthusiastic smile.

"That's alright, Remus. If we get caught, I'll take the blame and then you can help me catch up on the homework I miss in detention."

Tony's eyes crinkled as his own lips pulled into a grin. This was the James he knew, always up for a bit of fun and chaos, but never willing to put those he cared about in harm's way to do it.

Little-Remus was looking happily, if shyly, surprised. "I don't know how much help I'll be. I've never pulled a prank on anyone before."

The look of pure outrage on tiny-James' face had Tony snorting. He elbowed adult-James, who looked over with an annoyed purse to his lips that couldn't hide the fond humor in his eyes. Tony murmured, still loud enough for everyone to hear over the little version of James sputtering in the train compartment. "So you've always been a little shit, then?"

Adult-James just rolled his eyes indulgently as everyone chuckled (except Harry, Tony noticed, who had a little frown at the comment) before they all turned back to the scene before them. Young-James seemed to have found his voice.

"Well that's just rubbish! You seem like an alright bloke but I can't be friends with anyone who hasn't pulled a prank before." Remus was visibly wilting until James shocked him again.  "We have to correct this immediately, because I'm gonna be your friend, and that means pranking together."

The little memory-Remus blinked a couple of times before he nodded slowly. None of them missed the huge grin he had when he agreed.

The world seemed to freeze around all of them, which had the group turning to one another to find what had happened.

Remus, the grown up one, was standing there frozen with his wand in the air that he'd presumably used to stop the memory. His eyes were locked on the two boys grinning at each other.

Harry rested a hand on the man's shoulder, his own body still tense from this whole situation but offering what little comfort he could. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"I take it that's how it happened, then?"

Remus nodded, then rubbed a hand over his face. He looked a bit dazed, if Tony was to guess, but his expression turned apologetic when he looked at Harry. "We should still watch the next one, to be sure."

Harry stiffened, his grip on Remus' shoulder turning from a reassuring pressure to a painful looking clasp. He took a deep breath and then slowly nodded, despite his obvious apprehension. Remus gave him a worried, regretful glance before he sent the world swirling into nothingness around them with a flick of his wand.

Harry spoke woodenly to the group as a new scene appeared. "I have one single memory of my parents. Only four of us were there that night, and I thought only two had survived to remember what happened." He flicked his eyes to James and then back to the coalescing image, body otherwise unmoving aside from fingers tapping a quick, erratic beat of nerves and tension against his thigh. "If this memory is accurate, I will know for sure who you are."

James whispered, a bit brokenly. "Oh norns, you remember this." 

Harry just nodded once, eyes not moving from the image that had finally appeared in front of them.

Tony was going to say something, he wasn't sure what, but the scene began to play.

They were in a living room, modest in size but comfortable. There were a couple of couches and an armchair, the kind that looked like you could sink into them. There were worn divots in what were obviously the family's favorite spots. The walls were a soft cream, with thick red drapes over the two wide bay windows. The wall between this room and what was probably the kitchen was interspersed with bookcases and little tables that held vases of flowers. Photos covered every wall, most of them were of a dark haired, green eyed baby, but others clearly with family and friends (and the photos were moving, like, on the paper, not screens, but Tony decided to save his grief for everything that was physics for a later time). The room was lived in, too, with bookmarked volumes on the end tables, blankets strewn over the sofa, and a child's toys in various spots around the room.

All in all, Tony thought it looked like a beautiful home.

That impression was only made more real by the three people sitting on the floor in the center of the space. One was obviously James, now looking exactly as Tony remembered. (The version next to him looked older, like he had never left and gracefully aged to the appropriate 36 year old man he should have become. Perks of being a god of illusions, Tony supposed.) Next to him was someone the others had never seen, but Tony would never in all his life forget.  Lily was beautiful, a bit of stress in her brow that hadn't been there before, but still radiant and fiery and a complete smoke show. She was looking at James and the baby he held with so much love that it made Tony's breath catch in his throat.

He felt James squeezing his hand way too tightly, but he couldn't feel the pain of it as he returned the pressure.

He saw Harry, the older one, step forward a bit out of the corner of his eye, and turned to watch what he was doing. The teen looked equally as enthralled in the image, though not in the nostalgic, pain filled way that Tony and James were. His face looked more … surprised? Maybe a bit reverent? More than anything, the awe and pure longing screaming from every inch of his face proved that Harry had dropped all of his masks to take in this moment. 

His kid deserved the world, would have loved Lily if she had been there to raise him, and Tony felt the grief sitting like ash on his tongue as he turned to the scene that had begun in front of them all. 

Memory-James was bouncing the baby on his knee while he talked to him in a cheerful, lilting tone, to the clear amusement of Lily.

"So, my little Harebear, mummy says that you're not supposed to chase the cat on your broomstick because she's a spoilsport who doesn't know how to have fun." 

While Lily smacked the younger James on the arm, Clint snorted. "You guys ride brooms? Seriously? Isn't that a bit on the nose?"

Harry huffed a gentle laugh, never taking his eyes away from the pretty family picture in front of him. His tone held traces of that same awe from before as he answered absentmindedly. "I thought the same thing when I found out too, mate."

Natasha was the only one who noticed Clint give the kid a piercing look, understanding taking over his features as the teen stared at the bright family life he should have had. If anyone knew longing for a less fucked over family, it was the two of them.

Memory-James kept speaking. "But I told her that it was alright, you were just training to be the best seeker that ever lived!"

Both James and Tony looked over to teen-Harry when Remus let out a surprised laugh beside him. The man turned to Harry as well, smiling wistfully. "Didn't we tell you he had you pegged for a seeker? He was always destined to be the most obnoxious quidditch parent ever, and that was before you became the youngest seeker in a century."

The James beside him froze for a moment and then grinned. "You're a seeker, Harry? I knew it! That's amazing! And the youngest in a century, that means you must have joined the team in first year!"

Harry nodded, trying to keep a neutral face as he looked at James but underneath it he looked cautiously pleased and almost shy. There was still a bit of suspicion in his eyes but he was clearly feeling pulled into the blatant affection and joy that James was exuding. 

Remus cut off any more rambling, pointing to where he had paused the memory. "We can talk all about it after we finish these."

James visibly deflated, but nodded his understanding and sent one more proud smile at Harry before they all turned back to the scene.

Lily spoke, clearly fighting laughter. "Future seeker or not, the poor cat never did anything to deserve being turned into a training aid for little Grabby Hands here."

Memory-James nodded, mock solemnity in his expression. "Of course, my dear flower. The cat has done the world a great service by revealing young Harry's talents. For such noble efforts, he deserves nothing but napping in sunbeams and scratches behind the ears for the rest of his days."

Lily laughed, and it sounded even better than Tony remembered. "Well I agree, he's earned some time undisturbed by incorrigible little boys." She leaned in to tickle Harry's stomach, and he let loose a wild peal of giggles and squeals that just about broke Tony's heart. He had missed this, been denied the laughs and games and baby memories. For someone who never thought he'd be a father, he was surprised how gutted he felt at being left out of the loop here.

Lily stood up and went through a door that must lead to a kitchen, since she called over her shoulder that she was going to get the candy bowl from the other room.

Memory-James stood and took Harry to the couch, reclining a bit and setting the baby down so he was sitting up, straddling James on his chest.

"So, Prongslette, how are you liking your Halloween so far?"

The boy cheered, waving his chubby little fists in the air. "Happy Ha'ween, Dada!"

Memory-James and watching-James both gave a sappy smile at that.

"Thank you munchkin. You know who else would love to hear that?"

Baby Harry tilted his head to the side, an adorable (god, Tony was so soft for this kid, how the hell did that happen?) thinking expression on his face until his eyes lit up and he grinned.

"Tell Papa!"

Tony stopped breathing.

Next to him, James had turned to look at him. Tony could feel the slight anxiety, the grief, the regret being projected from the man, but teenage Harry interrupted anything he might have said as he nonverbally asked Remus to pause the scene.

"You know, you still haven't explained how you're both my dad."

James turned to him, clearly pleased at being addressed somewhat cordially. 

"Your mother and I went to New York during the war to try and convince the American aurors to join the fight against Voldemort. We were there for eight months, and we met Tony after two months there. We were already married, but we were both so charmed that we decided to start dating him, and all of us fell in love. We planned to return to him once we had won the war and propose, but then I found out I was pregnant with you-"

"Wait, you were pregnant with me? Blokes can get pregnant? You and mum dated while you were married? What the hell?"

James frowned a bit and nodded. "I included the memory of us finding out, and the conversation that led to us not informing Tony, though Remus and Sirius both knew about it. I would have expected that they told you." 

Remus looked surprised. "James, I have countless memories of visiting you and a very pregnant Lily."

Loki's face twisted with a simmering sort of anger here. "Then I suspect you're another victim of Dumbledore's manipulation. He was the only other person, aside from Peter, that we trusted with this. He was the one who convinced us to wait to inform Tony." The regret on his face overshadowed the anger for a moment as he turned to Tony. "It was the wrong choice, I know now. Our reasons felt so important then, but now they seem flimsy."

Tony nodded, still a bit dazed from what had happened in the memory to be totally in the moment, but when he looked over at Harry the boy seemed to be deep in thought at the mention of Dumbledore. He tapped his foot for a moment, brow furrowed in a classic look of contemplation as he stared into the middle distance, until he shook his head and said that if they kept pausing they would never get through this.

And all of a sudden, the only thing Tony could focus on was the two on the couch in the memory as it started to play.

Younger James had picked up a frame from the end table by the couch and was showing it to baby Harry. It was a photo of Tony, smiling in the soft way that he only ever shared with his Trusted Circle of Five (now six, he supposed, with Harry in the mix).

The picture was of him covered in oil stains in the middle of a project as he sat in the lab of his old New York penthouse. The baby was clearly familiar with the photo. He clumsily gripped it and, aided by James who held the back, guided it to his lips to give it a wet baby kiss.

Little-Harry was a little less hyper and a bit more sweet as he pet the photo with his uncoordinated toddler movements and spoke to it. 

"Happy Ha'ween, Papa."

Why couldn't Tony fucking breathe?

"That's so sweet of you, baby." Memory-James' smile had turned wistful, and a bit sad as he went to place the frame back in its position on the end table. "Next year, we can be with Papa and he can help us eat all the Halloween candies, how does that sound?"

Baby Harry gave a little cheer as Tony put a hand to cover his mouth, surprised to find wetness on his cheeks. 

Harry wasn't expecting this. When he'd listed the memory for Loki to show, he had imagined that he'd be seeing it from the moment shit hit the fan, as he did with the dementors. So he expected to be thrown into another memory of death straight away. 

Instead, he got to see a precious family moment. He got to see his mother, for the first time not begging for Harry's life or unresponsive in a photograph, but living and happy and playing with his … dad and him. (Nope, that was gonna take some time. Felt too weird.)

He got to see James, his father, teasing him and being silly, showering him with love and cuddles and endearing indulgence that, honestly, might break Harry. That little boy inside him that still sat scared in the cupboard, he was screaming for this to be real, and devastated that it had ever ended.

And he got to see Tony, a presence in their family even before the man knew he was a father. Finding out that he had two biological dad's was throwing him for a huge loop. It was sort of exciting; if this was real, then he had two living, breathing parents (though Tony seemed to be working on the breathing thing at the moment). He felt a massive wave of guilt at the thought. Lily wasn't even his biological mother and she had still sacrificed her life to save him. Even though she must have believed it wouldn't work, wouldn't stop the mass murderer in her home, she had refused to stand aside and watch him die. Was it wrong to be happy that he found Tony? Should he feel guilty for the cautious, fragile hope for family growing in his chest?

It had also bothered Harry when he found out earlier that he had been a secret from one of his biological parents. Maybe they thought Tony wouldn't want him? But now it looked more like they intended for him to be there, at least eventually, and they were teaching Harry that he was another person to love and trust.

Honestly, it was overwhelming. 

Right now, Harry heard Tony let out a shaky breath beside him. He noticed that the rest of the group had taken a step back and we're trying to give them a bit of space as they processed the intense emotions from the memory, which Harry appreciated.

Stepping forward hesitantly as his baby self played with colorful lights conjured by memory-James, Harry shoved his balled up hands in his pockets with all the awkwardness of a teenager faced with intense feelings as he looked at Tony.

"Are… are you alright?"

Tony's eyes snapped to him immediately, making Harry feel nervous and sort of off balance. He'd grow up being told to be silent and invisible, that he was an unlovable burden. Having someone look at him with such intense care was jarring. Not necessarily in a bad way, but still a bit alarming in its unfamiliarity.

Tony walked forward, dragging Loki with the hand he didn't release (they were holding each other so tight, Harry wasn't sure if they would ever be able to separate). He stopped in front of Harry and placed his free hand on his shoulder.

Tony took a deep breath and then spoke, uncaring of the silent tears still running down his face.

"You know, my mother was born in Italy. She moved to America as a young woman before she met my father, but she always told me stories of her home and took me to Florence to see her parents before they passed away. And I never thought I'd be a dad, but I told Lily once when I was missing my mom that, in the back of my mind, I always imagined that if I had a kid I'd have them call me Papa, just like what my mother called my grandfather."

Tony gave a sad sort of smile, a bit of self depreciation and regret mixed in with the clear hope there. It made Harry's own eyes sting a bit before he even heard what the man said next. "I know you have no reason to believe me, we just met and I know you have really good reasons not to trust people when they say they care. Hell, I have my own bad history with fathers so I get it. But I need you to know, I would do anything to be your Papa. I want to be in your life however you'll have me."

Harry's breath hitched, and he felt the hand on his shoulder nudge him forward, inviting him to lean into Tony but not forcing it. For once, Harry didn't think about how this touch might bring pain or this person might hurt him. He just leaned forward, forehead to Tony's shoulder and arms wrapping around his own stomach in an unconscious protective gesture as he let himself be held. Tony must have let go of Loki because both of his arms were keeping Harry close, not restricting but a firm, reassuring pressure.

Harry didn't cry, he rarely did, but he trembled a bit as he took a minute to get his breathing under control. It was only after he'd recovered a bit from the onslaught of emotion that he realized Tony had started rubbing gentle, soothing circles on his back.

Tony's next words were murmured low enough for just him. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, cucciolino, but I won't leave you alone again."

Harry was barely aware of how his hands fisted themselves into Tony's shirt at the promise, at the unbending steel underneath it, but it hardly mattered. He was kind of reeling from all of this. He didn't respond and just took another moment to gather himself, Tony patiently holding him while he did so. After a couple of minutes, he pulled back and put some space between them. He coughed, a little awkward at the vulnerable moment they just had and shoved his hands in his pockets. Tony wasn't looking much more comfortable, but Harry didn't get the impression that he was embarrassed, just out of his depth a bit. Harry flicked a glance to Loki, who looked simultaneously gutted and elated, and then to Remus, who had a wistful sort of encouraging smile, and then locked eyes with Tony.

"I … it might … I might need some time to call you, uh, that, but I think I'd like that too. For you to become my … papa."

Harry didn't have time to fear that he'd disappointed the man before Tony was smiling softly at him, nodding. "Take the time you need, kiddo. We'll do this at your pace. I'm just glad for the chance to prove myself."

Harry had no idea what to do with that, he was usually the one who had something to prove, so he just gave a halting sort of nod before he closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths. This whole day had been so weird, and so it took a few moments to get his cool, collected mask up again. When he looked around, he happened to catch the eye of the red headed woman standing with the other half of the group a ways away, Natasha, who gave him a knowing look and an approving nod. He wasn't sure what exactly she approved of, but if he remembered correctly, she was a spy, so maybe she was letting him know that he'd passably covered up his inner turmoil. Or she might be glad he was giving Tony a chance.

It didn't really matter though. He gestured for the group to reconvene; they'd clearly heard everything but Harry was grateful for the attempt at privacy.

He turned to Loki, who looked almost apprehensive at what Harry might say.

"I'm starting to believe you, but I need to see this memory though to be certain." The hope blooming on Loki's face was undeniable, so Harry kept talking. "And I still want answers about where you disappeared to for the last fourteen years."

Loki's face tightened at that, but there was understanding and a heavy dose of self loathing and loss there too. He agreed without hesitation, though, and took Tony's hand when the man stepped out of Harry's immediate space. Both seemed to sense that he needed a bit of breathing room, which Harry couldn't help but feel both grateful and guilty for.

Stealing himself, Harry turned back to the memory he knew would quickly become nightmare fuel. He gestured to Remus, who nodded. The man was ready to step closer when the horror started, and Harry privately thanked whoever was out there for at least leaving him Remus.

Lily had returned with the candy, and the little family had been spending the last fifteen minutes or so playing and munching while their observers talked. Harry watched the simple joy of it for a couple more minutes before the hair on the back of his neck stood on end.

Now, if Harry had thought about it more, he wouldn't have risked this level of vulnerability and rejection when he knew he was about to witness one of his deepest traumas played out in excruciating detail. However, he was mentally exhausted. After spending weeks being numb to the world over Sirius' death, only to come crashing down into whatever emotional clusterfuck this surprise reunion was, all of his barriers were down. So, when the feeling of danger came over him, Harry took a step closer to Tony where Tony had rejoined Loki and clutched his free hand. Before he could even tense further in surprise at his own action, Tony was squeezing back, offering a reassuring smile as he held on to both Loki and Harry. The man clearly felt the anxiety in both Harry and Loki and must have assumed something bad was coming, but was about to be blindsided.

Harry felt a bit guilty about that. If he believed Loki, or James, or whoever, that the three of them had loved each other, then Tony was about to gain an entirely new break in his heart. And here Harry was, seeking comfort from the man like a child who couldn't handle his own issues. He was too selfish to step away though, so he tried to focus on the memory instead. 

The next instant, there was a single alarm like noise that had both young parents tensing and then jumping to their feet. Young James looked horrified, until a fierce determination overtook his expression. He quickly pressed a soft kiss to Harry's head and then placed him in Lily's arms, urgency in every motion. 

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off-"

He was cut off by a violent pounding sort of noise from the front of the house. Lily let out a sob as she clutched Harry and ran up the stairs, turning back once to see James give one more tight smile and a mouthed "go" before she was out of sight.

Harry was absolutely sure this memory was authentic now. Those words were the only memory he had of his father that wasn't second hand from someone else, and Lily, the only other person who heard them, was dead. This memory couldn't be faked, it was real, he was real, his dad was alive, he was here-

Harry couldn't get further in his mental spiraling before another bang on the door rang out, seeming to shake the entire house. He realized he'd started gripping Tony's hand tighter and leaning into Remus, who'd come to stand right beside him with a hand on his back. Harry didn't know what would happen next, his memories of this moment were upstairs, but he had enough of an idea that he needed to fight off the trembling that wanted to overtake him. Harry wouldn't look away. His parents were targeted that night because of him; the least he could do was witness the sacrifices they made in the name of keeping him safe.

Young James was frantically looking for his wand in the couch cushions, and had just found it when a loud, final crashing sound heralded the arrival of Harry's greatest enemy into the house. James, in the scene, whipped around to face the intruder, expression set in protective rage, fear visible in the shaky hold that did nothing to compromise the perfect aim James had toward Voldemort's face.

The man looked nothing like how Harry had seen him. Well, he looked much closer to the handsome 16 year old Harry battled in the Chamber of Secrets than the snake faced creep who stepped out of the cauldron in the graveyard. He was on the older side, though definitely still young enough for a wizard, probably in his fifties. He had the same thick hair and aristocratic features Harry remembered from the diary. There was a new sort of gauntness though, the dark shadows, pale visage, and wild gaze of someone who spent too much time meddling with the types of magic that leave scars on the soul. His eyes had already turned to that chilling red color that haunted Harry's dreams.

The sound of his voice, less sibilant than Harry was used to but just as deranged, still chilled him.

"Get out of my way, boy. I am loath to spill pure blood, but you can't stop me from killing the child tonight."

James's snarled "NO!" seemed to come from somewhere deep in his core before he launched into an assault, firing spells silently with more power than almost anyone Harry had ever seen (he'd be outmatched by Dumbledore, but Harry guessed he could take on almost anyone else). He felt Tony freeze completely beside him watching the fight, but he barely noticed as his own breathing sped up. Voldemort was quick to match the attack, his spells darker and more brutal. James fought extremely well for about three minutes, each getting small hits on the other before his foot caught on the leg of a table that had exploded in the spellfire. This gave Voldemort the opening he needed to cast the curse that seemed to define Harry's entire existence.

"Avada KEDAVRA!"

Harry knew that the scene hadn't slowed, but the moment seemed to stretch on infinitely as he watched his father fall back against the staircase he'd been defending. His body bounced slightly against the steps, wand skittering away as lifeless eyes stared up at the now cracked ceiling.

Harry couldn't breathe. He looked into the dull, dead eyes, and he felt like he was back in the graveyard again. He could almost feel a cold gravestone at his back and dirt and blood smeared on his face as Voldemort stood before him ready to strike, only now it wasn't a schoolmate but his family, his father dead on the ground. 

Before he could fall any further into the flashback, Voldemort had started walking toward the stairs. Every step brought him closer to his father's body, and Harry flinched when Tony beside him growled.

"Stay away from him, you sick fuck."

Harry nodded almost absently as he stepped closer to Tony, gripping the man's shirt when he tugged him closer by their joined hands. Harry used the feel of the fabric and the tension in his clenched jaw to ground himself in this, admittedly terrible, moment to prevent any further distracting flashbacks. He couldn't afford to give into that weakness now, he needed to see, to know.

A glance to the left told him that Remus appeared to be in shock, mouth slightly gaping and wet streaks on his face as he leaned into Harry. A quick look to the right showed Loki's pale but otherwise impassive face and Tony's anger falling away into pure devastation as his gaze fell again to the dead James. Looking behind him, Harry saw that every last one of the other Avengers looked … well, ready to avenge. The two spies were planning murder if the calculating calm on their faces was anything to go by. The director and the mild agent guy were looking pissed and concerned, respectively. Bruce looked a bit green as he gave very controlled breaths, Thor looked heartbroken, gazing at the body on the stairs as his knuckles turned white around Mjolnir’s handle.

It was the gasp from Remus that had him whip his head back around. Voldemort was now halfway up the steps, but what drew his eye was the spectral form of …  someone rising from James' body. It was not quite James, but an identical match for the Loki he saw on the news two days ago. Before anyone could ask, the Loki beside them spoke.

"I look different because my soul matches my original body. I wasn't visible at the time, but I imagine that since this is my memory, you can see where my soul traveled as I resisted the pull of my original body. I remained behind as long as I could, desperate to help but unable to do anything in my incorporeal state."

His voice was robotic, devoid of all emotion in the way that a still lake is lifeless - a flat surface hiding multitudes.

Harry watched as the … ghost? (it wasn't a ghost, it had color and looked a bit more opaque than a ghost, but not solid, so maybe spirit) of his father started to float, looking a bit disoriented as it drifted toward the ceiling. Then, suddenly, the spirit spotted Voldemort and all confusion fled his face. He seemed to gasp noiselessly, then grabbed the railing for the stairs. It seemed to be a huge strain to hold on and drag himself up after his murderer, like he was trying to run against a blizzard strength wind, but he followed after the monster on the stairs and gripped the railing with everything he had. 

The group made to do the same, Harry, Tony, and Lo- … James at the front. Harry couldn't help the way his breath sped up and his heart started racing as he stepped close to his father's body, and he couldn't tear his eyes away until he felt a hand on his cheek guiding his face gently.

He followed the hand, looking up to see his father, the living one, the one not dead with dead eyes and a silent heart and still lungs an-

Harry closed his eyes as the thumb on his cheek brushed away tears he didn't remember crying. The man murmured softly. 

"It's alright, little one, I'm alright now."

Harry nodded once, took a deep breath and when he opened his eyes, pointedly looked at the living James and not the dead one. There was a worried, devastated sort of pain in James' eyes, even as he tried to give a reassuring smile. Still, he was here and Harry let him and Tony guide him around the body so he wouldn't have to look down.

By the time they made it past- made it onto the stairs, Voldemort and the struggling spirit of Loki had just reached the second floor. They all hurried after them, needing to see what happened next.

They arrived to see Voldemort pointing his wand at a begging Lily. Harry's heart seized, and he couldn't stop the shaking this time as he watched his mother's last moments. He'd never seen it, only heard the screams that were now reverberating in the room.

She looked so strong. Her voice was pleading but she was pointing her wand in a fighting stance as she faced down what she must know was certain death. She was so much stronger than him. Harry had known that already, purely because of the sacrifice she made for him, but this just proved what a waste that had been. The world needed her, not broken, fucked up Harry Potter, who let his uncle beat him up and couldn't save anyone and kept getting people killed.

The sound of his mother's voice felt like a knife to the heart.

"Not Harry! Not Harry! Please - I'll do anything!"

"Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!"

"No! Not my baby! Take me instead, please, please …"

The spirit of Loki was pushing and fighting to get between them like it was the only thing in the universe that mattered. But he wouldn't make it in time, and there wasn't anything an incorporeal soul could do to stop a killing curse anyway, so Harry braced himself for what he knew came next.

"Avada Kedavra!"

Loki beside him sobbed once, Tony shouted something, Remus choked on air, the spirit in the memory screamed without sound as it lost its fight to stay and sped out through the ceiling.

Harry took in none of it. He just stared, unable to move as he watched another parent fall to the floor in a flash of green light. Saw another parent be made to look more like a lifeless thing than a person. Saw someone else die for loving him.

Harry indistinctly heard someone speak to his left, and then surrendered to the swish of leaving the pensieve.

Loki felt like he had just relived the worst moment of his life, rather than just observing it. His body simultaneously demanded that he break down and break something, preferably Voldemort's face. He was so lost in the feeling of fresh grief that he flinched a bit when someone started talking.

Remus' voice sounded scratchy when he spoke, like he'd been screaming even if he'd made no sound.

"That's enough for now."

With a wave of Remus' wand, Loki felt the familiar sensation of being ripped out of a memory and thrown back into that ghastly living room.

Out of the corner of his eye, Loki saw Bruce take stock of the entire group, then decisively turn and usher everyone except for Remus, Tony, Harry, and himself into the hall. Thor seemed ready to fight it and come to his brother's side, but Bruce shook his head and urged the man out. Later, Loki would remember to thank him for the consideration, but right now, all he could see was Harry.

His son looked … exactly like he'd just watched his parents being murdered. He was pale and looking down, with a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and a tremble in his clenched hands. His breathing had sped up, and he looked like he was on his way to a major panic attack.

Harry made a sound like a cut off sob as he stared at the floor, like he was trying to cry but never really learned how (or, Loki's traitorous brain supplied, like he had learned early on that he shouldn't make any noise when he cried). Remus tried to step closer to him, but he gave a heart wrenching sort of whimper as he flinched and backed up to the wall.

Loki felt his own tears on his face, both from the murder he just witnessed and the stabbing pain of his son suffering for it in front of him now. He didn't know how to comfort him - and oh how he loathed that he had been denied the privilege of comforting Harry's pain as he grew, of learning what he needed when he was stressed and hurting. 

Still, he could try now. He owed his son that and more. He cleared his throat, trying to speak clearly past the lump that rested there.

"I tried to save her, Harry, I tried to protect you both but I didn't, and you paid the price. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, I'm so sorry."

Harry's eyes snapped up at that and he looked at Loki like he was seeing him for the first time. 

"You really are him. You're James Potter, you're my dad."

It was a testimony to how raw Loki was that he didn't even try to fight the relieved sob at the words, nodding vigorously. "Yes, Harry, yes, I'm your dad. I'll always be your dad, I love you so much darling, I'm so sorry I wasn't there, I'm so sorry, I'm so sor-"

Loki's rambling was cut off by Harry's body crashing into his own, trembling as his arms tightened around Loki's waist and his face pressed into his chest. Loki returned the embrace instantly, overwhelmed by the absolute rightness of it, of Harry safe in his grasp, even as they reeled from this shared pain.

He bent his head, pressing kisses into Harry's curls as he kept up a stream of apologies, assurances that he would never leave again, and declarations of love. He noticed Tony standing close, unsure and awkward, before he pulled him in and continued his never-ending promises. None of it seemed like it would ever be enough, but he kept it up anyway until Harry spoke.

"Why did you leave in the first place?"

A full body tremble went through Loki. He never would forgive himself for missing his son's life.

"Let's sit, and I'll tell you the full story."

Harry nodded against his chest, and they separated. Tony and Remus joined them as they sat. Harry was settled between Loki and Tony on the couch they had occupied before, each gripping one of his hands almost too tight, while Remus sat next to the pensieve on the coffee table facing them.

Loki took a breath and began.

"When my soul returned to my body after Voldemort killed me, I woke up where I had stored it, in a realm far from Earth called Alfheim. You see, I had chosen to live a full life on earth as a magical human, to experience it firsthand. That means I had sealed away all of my memories from before I was born to the Potters' and the majority of my magic. I fashioned myself a body, storing my true body on another world. My body as James appeared human, and had the durability and aging of one, but I couldn't make myself fully mortal. I was closer to a weakened Asgardian than a mortal from Earth. That's why you're still half Asgardian even though I wasn't a full god when I carried you."

Harry's eyes were wide as he tried to absorb that.

"I'm half Asgardian?"

Loki smiled a bit. "Yes. You're what's known as a demigod. Historically they have more power than even the gods of Asgard."

Harry snorted. "Yeah right. If I was some magical prodigy you'd think I'd be at the top of my classes."

Loki looked over at Remus' sigh. The man looked equally indulgent, annoyed, and traumatized (a special expression he learned by being friends with him and Sirius when they were kids) before he clearly attempted to give Loki and Tony heart attacks with his words alone.

"Harry, be rational. You defeated Voldemort as a baby, and fought him victoriously at the end of first, second, fourth, and fifth years. You learned the patronus charm at thirteen, threw of an Imperius curse from Voldemort at fourteen, trained a group of students of all ages to perform magic far beyond their age level, killed a basilisk, wrestled a troll, outflew a dragon, and fought off a hundred dementors at once. You are exceptional, and you always have been."

Harry just stared blankly, like there was nothing unusual or horrifying about doing those things in his very short life. Loki on the other hand was absolutely panicking. Hearing his son had been in so many dangerous situations made him feel like his heart was going to explode from beating too fast. Even Tony, who couldn't have understood half of that, caught enough to be very alarmed. (Loki would never admit that they both were also clearly impressed. By the norns, safety first! Hypocrisy be damned.)

It took him a second to make his voice work, but it was admirably level when he did, if Loki did say so himself. 

"Remus, when the hell did my son do all of that?"

Harry sighed. "It's a long story, but you owe me yours first."

Swallowing his anxiety, Loki tried to get back on track. Harry was right, he owed him much more than an explanation, but this would have to do for now.

"I left a few more memories in the pensieve that will fill in some blanks, but essentially, when my soul returned to my body, it took me about two days to get back to Earth, no matter that I came as quickly as I could. By the time I was here, I spent an entire day doing everything I could think of to find you. And I'm the god of magic, so you can imagine that I tried an unlimited number of things. I was frantic by that point, desperate and out of options, and so I went to the man I had trusted to lead us all during my life as James."

Here a low simmering rage began creeping into his voice, but he made sure that his hand in Harry's wasn't gripping too tight and was still soothing him. His son didn't deserve his anger, not in any way.

"After I convinced him that I was both James Potter and Loki Odinson, alive and in the flesh, Dumbledore told me that you, Remus, Sirius, and even Tony had all died by Voldemort's hand. There was nothing left, everyone I loved was dead and my grief heralded in a bout of insanity. I left immediately for Asgard and my pain became a rage that Odin had to stop by locking away all of my memories of my life here on Earth. He was the only one who knew I had come here, let alone that I had lost much. As far as I know, he wasn't aware I was grieving a family."

Harry had gone rigid at the mention of Dumbledore, and only got more tense as Loki went on. When he finished, Harry spoke with urgent intensity.

"Is that conversation with Dumbledore in the pensieve?"

"Yes." 

"We need to watch it now." Harry was already standing up, releasing his and Tony's hands to go and call the others back from the hall.

Loki watched in tense confusion as Harry paced, waiting for the group to file back in. His eyes were still red from tears and his face was still pale, but his expression and posture were every inch the angry soldier once again. As soon as everyone was back in the sitting room, Harry spoke with the authority of someone who knew that they would be obeyed.

"I think I know what happened to keep us all separated, and we all need to watch the rest of these memories right now. Come in if you want, but the four of us need to see this."

Everyone looked intrigued and concerned, but nodded readily and gathered around the pensieve again. Loki exchanged anxious glances with Tony and Remus before doing the same. 

"Alright. Here we go again."

The group put a finger in once more, and they all swirled back into the memories.