Depression
During their younger school years, everything was fine. It was fun, it was nice to have friends who they got on with. Two were in a relationship, love was in the air. Then things changed.
“Remus I am so sorry. I didn’t expect it to go this far. Please believe me”.
You monster. You don’t deserve magic. You don’t deserve how nice everyone is. You should be dead.
“I do not want to talk to you, leave me alone.”
How could you do this to your boyfriend. You don’t deserve anyone. You fuck everything up.
Slowly things got better again. The boyfriends moved in together. And then the war hit.
“Where were you huh? You never came home. You are never home.”
He doesn’t trust you. No one trusts you. They would be better off without you.
“Sirius you have to stop drinking. All these bottles on the floor isn’t good for anyone.”
He no longer likes you. You’re a waste of space. Keep drinking till you can’t anymore.
Suddenly, the world ended for them all. Their friends were gone. Their lives ruined. The baby left alone.
Years went by they stayed lost inside their heads. Blaming themselves, everyone been pushed away. When suddenly, there was a purpose. Back to Hogwarts they go. Things looked good again. Until they weren’t.
“stay in contact with me, please Sirius. I need to live with you.”
“don’t leave me too Professor.”
Stupid harry. Back here again. Do the work you idiot. Of course, you are left alone again. You don’t deserve love. You don't get fathers.
“I pray for brighter days.”
The next year flies by, and it is to Grimmauld Place we now go. Empty alcohol bottles remain. The distrust never fixed. The pain still there.
“SIRIUS!” “He’s gone Harry; he’s gone.”
You're too late. You lost your chance. Your one love is gone. Now to follow him.
Pills start flowing. Popping them daily. A kid is born, but no love is there between the parents. An alcoholic mistake. War is there again.
“Remus, not you too. And Tonks. No. what about Teddy.” Another father figure gone. For two people this time.
The war is over. But one wishes they were dead too. The bottles and pills are found. Time passes. But they don’t heal.
You lost everyone, they’re dead because of you. You don’t deserve to live. You should be dead instead. You should have stayed dead.
“When I am by myself I just pray for brighter days” Harry whispers, drowning in his alcohol as he raises a knife. Twirling it in his hand he...