Verde being fucking confused

Verde watched the server in fascinated awe as he carefully noted the different interactions. He had only found it a few days ago, courtesy of their uneducated civilian fool managing to break his phone. As always, he brought it to Verde so he could fix it— and he had —but he’d also discovered an innocent looking (slightly unsettling) app. 

It was named discord, and it functioned as a kind of instant messaging app, specifically for larger groups of people. Verde only had the intention of exploring the app itself, until he came across it. One specific server, placed above the rest, with an innocuous purple d20 icon, was consistently recieving notifications. It was called “broken space time,” or something similar, and Verde knew that if their cloud was getting into something he couldn’t handle, he was going to humiliate all of them, and that was not optimal. Skull always needed adult supervision, no matter what he said about it.

With the skill of a professional white hat, Verde duplicated the server files and managed to connect a back door to his laptop, allowing him to view the server, even if he couldn’t interact with it.

Skull had come back not a day later, taken his phone, and scampered off without any suspicions at all. 

That had been 5-ish days ago, and Verde’s curiosity had become a full on Fixation. 

So here he was, documenting his observations of these mystery people who befriended the arcobaleno cloud. Verde may not like Skull, but he’s not going to let their weakest link make the rest of them look bad. At least, that's what he told himself. 

It came as a surprise then, when there were a surprising number of things that Verde didn’t, couldn’t, understand; some were obviously inside jokes which he had no context for, but others just straight up made no fucking sense. There were words in foreign languages, talk of meeting in locations that didn’t seem to exist, strange acronyms, and concepts that were never explained.

That was not the only mind breaking thing happening either. Against his better judgement, Verde had concluded that this was a Flame Chat, wherein every member has the same flame type and advice was given to younger or less experienced users. It was a relatively new idea and the traditionalists absolutely hated it, given how it was making recruitment so difficult now that Famiglias were no longer the only source of flame knowledge. But Skull was in this server. Skull, who was a cloud, pure cloud, the Strongests cloud, in fact. That would make everyone else in the server a cloud flame user. That was the part that was hurting his brain. 

Cloud flames were exceedingly rare as a whole, and everyone knew that. There was several reasons for it; Poaching, where lone unaffiliated clouds were captured and coerced into a familia until they succumbed to harmonic-brainwashing, resisted until flame-break, or willingly accepted them as Territory. There was also the less successful version of poaching, wherein lacking a sky to force harmony one could simply induce decades of mental conditioning. Additionally, clouds just tend to have abrasive and intense personalities, the very definition of “Extra,” that the dumb ones ended up dead because of it. 

But here he was, in this paradoxical situation in which there are one, two, seven, nine… eighteen. There were a total of eighteen whole clouds that Verde now had the luxury to spy on and research! He generally made a rule that experimenting with clouds was Absolutely Forbidden, given they were so cagey and practically extinct as a flame type, so much so that the inner workings of their flames and minds, and the effects the former might have on the latter, were almost entirely unknown. 

Sure there were old mafia stories about clouds, and the general stereotyping he could go off of, but those stories were as good to him as a superstitious wive’s tale, and the flame stereotypes were about as trustworthy as the Bratva on a bad day.

Furthermore, some of the people listed did not exist. That was expected of the mafia, however the fact that some of the listed locations didn’t exist either? This absolutely screamed of some kind of conspiracy, be it government or criminal.

Also, what the hell is up with clouds and national parks? Six different clouds were hanging around separate national parks?? He should make a note about this, it's probably relevant. 

Note: Clouds in National Parks?

Verde’s tablet pinged, another message sent to the server. He turned his attention back to the app, pen eagerly grasped in his little baby hands.

Oh no! Space-Time! Its broken!

[14:09]

Ghosthunter: Just learned that my entire existence was planned by a mad scientist, I’ve got to take a minute.

Bonehurtingjuice: thats rough buddy, i know several of those types

Ghosthunter: I’ve got only one (1) Kisuke and the fucker (affectionate) managed to plan my entire genetic composition despite never having a hand in the process. And you’re telling me there’s more?

PeopleEater: I’m sorry, but I feel you should know of Doctor Locklear

HeavyWeight: he aint sorry

PeopleEater: I’m not, but I was trying to be polite :/

pickpocket: i kno 1 doc, and shes like, 

pickpocket: not like That at all

pickpocket: OTHER people tho?

pickpocket: @DoorKun does ippondatara count?

DoorKun: uhhhhhh, thts a good question lemme akn igode

DoorKun: akn igode

pickpocket: IGODE

Bonehurtingjuice: igode

2bagels: i g o d e

TallChild: iGoDe

Hermit: igode

Hermit: (am I doing it right?)

2bagels: (you’re doing great sweetie)

Bonehurtingjuice: wholesome. my group could never.

TallChild: ^

2bagels: ^

PeopleEater: ^

Dogfather: Who hurt you?

Bonehurtingjuice: alphabetical or numeric?

TallChild: yes

PeopleEater: I eat people for a reason

2bagels: we don’t have TiME to unpack that

DecafisaSin: how many people will be stabbed and how many do i need to worry about?

Dogfather: A Lot.

Onyx: none if you stab them right.

TallChild: good responses to getting stabbed?

DecafisaSin: Hitoshi???

PeopleEater: Rude

Ghosthunter: That’s fair.

hibirb: you will be bitten to death.

pickpocket: you gonna want this back, or can i keep it?

HeavyWeight: damn, not again

🔹Hermit: that sure is blood. 

Bonehurtingjuice:that sure is blood. Thanks hikage, i’m stealing this the next time reborn shoots me lmao asdfghjk

[Bonehurtingjuice has pinned a message!] 

⤷ 🔹Hermit: that sure is blood.

↬pickpocket: i kno 1 doc, and shes like,

2bagels: bout the doctor thing, does my brother count?

HeavyWeight: gtg, see ya

Ghosthunter: :wave:

TallChild: bye

↬2bagels: bout the doctor thing, does my brot…

TallChild: y would your brother count?????

2bagels: technically he’s studying as a doctor, but also he did point a gun at my head and has treatende to kill me on multiple cocattions

2bagels: occasions

2bagels: fukin words

Ametrine: h

Ametrine: what do you think whackus bonkus?

Onyx: kill him

Ametrine: ooh, you naughty wackus bonkus

2bagels: HAH

2bagels: no that would speed up my execution order actually

2bagels: also, even if he can be an asshole, he’s still my brother

2bagels: i wouldn’t be able to

Dogfather: you’re like 12, why the hell are you being threatened with execution?

Clownboi: lmao is it the government?

2bagels: yeah, its the government

Clownboi: wait fuck i was joking

pickpocket: say aye if u been threatened by the government! aye!

Clownboi: AYE

2bagels: yeah

Dogfather: fuckin. Aye

ELK: aye

Ametrine: aye x2 (for ryu)

Ghosthunter: does the government of ghosts count? 

pickpocket: yeah sure

Ghosthunter: aye

hibirb: ^

ActuallyGod: Aye!

PeopleEater: aye, for me and Rho.

Bonehurtingjuice: aye, all the fukin time

TallChild: its not explicitly the government, but they sure are condoning systemic quirkism

DoorKun: i don’t actually remember so just mark me down as a yes

Ametrine: so anyways, back to the gun violence thing

Ametrine: does,,, does he have a lisence for that??

Onyx: does he need one?

pickpocket: a liscence or a gun?

2bagels: he does have liscemce

2bagels: not even gonna try to correct that

2bagels: technically the ammo shouldn’t kill humans but like

2bagels: rubber bullets aren’t meant to kill either and they hurt still

Ametrine: question: why does a doctor (who isn’t yosano-san or m*ri) need a gun?

Onyx: (telling chuuya to start censoring m*ri’s name)

2bagels: demons

Ametrine: yeah. ok. 

Dogfather: why the hell are you summoning deMONS?

2bagels: well moST of the time they just kinda show up. Other times we’re actively looking for them

ActuallyGod: Okay, why did he try to kill you then? (I am assuming that is what a gun does).

2bagels: uh, something something, we’re orphans

2bagels: our adoptive father was killed by our biological father and he

2bagels: i don’y know. Yukio blames me for

2bagels: leading him back to our home, i suppose?

Dogfather: did you mean to?
Dogfather: lead him there, i mean.

2bagels: no. i didn’t even kno what was going on, there were

2bagels: there was smoke in the air and fire. Biodad was burning dad. Dad stabbed him in the chest

2bagels: biodad fled and dad died.

2bagels: i knew we were adopted, but i didn’t know that our,,,

2bagels: sperm donor?? was a mass murdering psychopath, trying to

2bagels: trying to make a vessel. He’s kind of incorporeal, needs to possess other people but he keeps

2bagels: burning them from the inside out

Onyx: sounds like Corruption-

Onyx: which is not a good thing.

Ghosthunter: so your biodad is like a spirit or?

pickpocket: somekind of amalgam of human desire?

2bagels: you aren’t far off on that guess ren. Demons tend to develop sentience, tho

2bagels: thats different from your shadows or venti’s monsters, or rowan/issac’s cryptids.

PeopleEater: actually i hsave a theory about that

PeopleEater: what happens when a demon possesses someone? Does their body change?

2bagels: yes? Like, it goes back to human shape after the possessing is done, usually.

PeopleEater: but not always?

2bagels: but not always.

Clownboi: gotta dip, see yall l8r!

2bagels: bye

Ghosthunter: :wave: 

PeopleEater: what about forced possession? Where someone else invites them into your body?

2bagels: uhhhhh, lemme check

Ametrine: oh god

Ametrine: issac are you. Are you implying that

PeopleEater: maybe. Confirm after, okay?

Ametrine: ok.

The server goes silent for a while, and Verde uses the moment to thoroughly update his notes. The entire server seemed to be superstitious in many ways, and Verde immediately wanted to put it out of his head, but there was a niggling feeling in the back of his brain. Supernatural things happened in the mafia, it wasn’t common but everyone experienced something at least once or twice. Byakuran’s wings, Skull’s inability to die, not quite human entities like the Man in the Iron Hat, and the undead overseers in the Vindice. Flames gave an explanation for some things, but there were too many things that could not be accounted for with only flames as an explanation, and it sounded like these cloud-folk knew what they were talking about, at least somewhat.

[15:21]

2bagels: back, and oh my god what the fuck

↬PeopleEater: what about forced possess…

2bagels: so apparently this is like super illegal

2bagels: more illegal than normal possession

2bagels: bc apparently its either fatal, the “sacrifice” has their soul like

2bagels: “the sacrifice has their soul overwritten, allowing the demon a corporeal vessel, so long as the sacrifice is compatible with the demon in question.” 

ActuallyGod: This does not sound good.

2bagels: “... incompatibility with the sacrifice seemingly does no harm to the demon, but the sacrifice’s soul is evidently eradicated, leaving naught but an empty husk. Successful instances that have been recorded are generally more difficult to deal with as upon possession the body of the sacrifice is forcefully mutated, allowing for a greater use of abilities.”

PeopleEater: thats accurate.

Dogfather: “leaving naught but an empty husk” sounds like a dementor.

2bagels: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THATS ACCURATE????

PeopleEater: i am te result of a mildly successful attempt, i think.
PeopleEater: rowan would be as well, actually. More extreme than mine, but still.

2bagels: “mildly successful” what on god’s green earth are you telling me man

PeopleEater: imagine for me, a successful mutation of the body but an unsuccessful eradication of the soul. Thats what i’m assuming happened.

2bagels: so you’re like,,,, a human soul in a demon body????

PeopleEater: pretty much. Though the brain’s also mutated to serve a demon so theres some weird hold outs. I’m compelled to cannibalism and if i think about how i can see without eyes i get a headache.

PeopleEater: honestly rho’s adapted way better than me even if he’s had less time, but he was also just a weird person in general (according to him).

Ametrine: i hate being right

Onyx: being right is your job

Ametrine: i don’t have to like it, ryuu

[16:13]

PeopleEater: rin?

[16:32]

PeopleEater: @2bagels are you okay?

[17:01]

@Shura#1265 joined the fun! Everyone say hi!

↬PeopleEater: @2bagels are you okay?

2bagels: i’m fine, just discovered one of my teacher is a fucking cloud and now i’m panicking

ActuallyGod: Oh, Celestia.

Hermit: That’s ironic.

Bonehurtingjuice: LMAO HAH

Bonehurtingjuice: aight, i’ll have The Talk with them

ELK: dont say it like that

Clownboi: NO, PLEASE DO

Dedevil: what have i walked in on (“O.o)?

DecafisaSin: hell.

[09:45]

2bagels: im going to stab a bitch

Bonehurtingjuice: do it

ActuallyGod: For what reason?

Clownboi: owo?

Dedevil: rin-san r u ok?

2bagels: this light fucker keeps grabbing at me in a “new specimine” kinda wau

2bagels: and hes trying to sway bon from my pack

2bagels: idk how i havbt gutted him alrdy

HeavyWeight: petition to debone and eat lewin light

2bagels: hw did yu knoh is nme?????

PeopleEater: siGNED

hibirb: ^

Onyx: go on jinko, they’re offering you food

Ametrine: IT WAS ONE TIME

Ametrine: wait
Ametrine: no wait, ryuu

Ametrine: you know

Ametrine: hoW MANY PEOPLE WAS IT

Ametrine: HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND DAZAI BEEN FEEDING ME CORPSES

Onyx: have we?

Ametrine: motherfucker

Clownboi: eheehee, oh i know a wonderful chef~ i’m sure he’d love the challenge!

pickpocket: I would eat him raw.

Dogfather: every time i come back here it gets more bloody violent

Dogfather: you lot better not influence my son!

ELK: padfoot thats so hypocritical

ELK: you say that like you didn’t try to kill wormtail immediately after he turned

Dogfather: THAT WAS ONCE

ELK: WAS IT?? HMMM IDK BETTER GET THE LIST

Dogfather: NO WAIT NIT TGE LIDTS

Clownboi: rip in pieces, starship no. 2

ActuallyGod: Regardless, @2bagels you are managing at the moment?

2bagels: somehow

ActuallyGod: Okay, thats good, can you leave?

2bagels: the vatican says no

ActuallyGod: Okay. Are you at True Cross?

2bagels: ye

ActuallyGod: I can get to you in around 10 minutes.

2bagels: thank

Dogfather: awwwwe, how wholesome~~

Ametrine: go back to being murdered slut 

Dedevil: asdfghjkl

Bonehurtingjuice: FUCKING OWNED

pickpocket: :wheeze:

ELK: hA, gET REKT OLD MAN

DoorKun: r/murderedbywords

Bonehurtingjuice: ew, filthy redditor 

Bonehurtingjuice: go back to ur trash heap nerd (/j)

DoorKun: you literally started r/skulldemort for the sole purpose of getting your own bf unsolved episode

Bonehurtingjuice: yea, and it worked

Boobsword: rin what the fuck is wrong with your friends

↬2bagels: this light fucker keeps grabbing at m…

Ghosthunter: fucking mood

Ghosthunter: kurotsuchi mayuri needs to get stabbed

Ghosthunter: as the guy who performed mass genocide and human experimentation on mine and my cousin’s entire bloodline, i reserve the right for Uryuu to shank a bitch

Boobsword: what the fuck is happening??

DoorKun: welc 2 the chat newb, you got the news?

Boobsword: a leather baby riding a massive deer materialized next to me and told me I have magic gay fire attached to my soul

Boobsword: I’m loosing my goddamn mind

2bagels: don’t worry it gets worse 

Dedevil: the only mad doctors I know are my human mythology teacher and my senior classman who may or may not be a crazed and perverse maniac who tried to kill several hundred school children

Clownboi: are we actually back to the mad doctor thing?

ELK: why is it always several hundred school children

Weiyyyiingg: better question, what kind of school has that many students??

ActuallyGod: !!! HES BACK!!

DoorKun: yo where tf were you

Weiyyyiingg: dead

Weiyyyiingg: hey wait who are these people 

Dogfather: time has a habit of moving

Weiyyyiingg: dyhd

DecafisaSin: since when has this chat obeyed the laws of time

Weiyyyiingg: sorry dropped my mirror

Clownboi: so you were here before us huh

Weiyyyiingg: yes!

TallChild: you. Aren’t showing up on the members list.

ActuallyGod: don’t worry about it.

TallChild: I’m worrying.

Bonehurtingjuice: actually dead tho? For real for real?

pickpocket: (For real!?)

Weiyyyiingg: yeah, torn apart by corpses

Weiyyyiingg: I mean I told them to but

Boobsword: I need to go lay down

Boobsword: don’t

Boobsword: don’t contact me. 

Boobsword: I’m gonna get so fucking drunck

2bagels: she’s taking it pretty well actually 

2bagels: anyways what are u doing @weiyyyiingg

Weiyyyiingg: babysitting.

Weiyyyiingg: well, technically they’re four competent young men

Weiyyyiingg: but I’ve been fifteen and I know that somethings gonna happen

Weiyyyiingg: I should steal a flute

pickpocket: do it.

pickpocket: trust me. I’m not on probation for theavery I promise.

DecafisaSin: please don’t, I might have to arrest you

ActuallyGod: no please do, have fun with your new life

Dogfather: as a previous officer of the law I shouldn’t be encouraging this

Weiyyyiingg: gskh

2bagels: should God be encouraging this?

ActuallyGod: yes. I am god, and I say stealing is cool, as long as they’re rich.

Weiyyyiingg: sorry dropped my mirror

TallChild: why do u even need a flute?

Bonehurtingjuice: necromancy

ActuallyGod: necromancy, probably

DoorKun: Necromancy.

ELK: how does that even work though

TallChild: ^^

Weiyyyiingg: a play a little tune and the corpses dance for me