Platonic Pranks

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
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Platonic Pranks
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Chapter 6

Sirius was always easily spooked, as a young child his brother used to love traumatising him by jumping out of small corners or staying under his bed after dark until Sirius was nearly asleep before making some small noise that would make Sirius jump up screaming.

That's not to say that he didn’t get pay back, he did but it did have a lasting effect. He was scared of more things than others, so when he woke up to a hand covering his mouth and someone shaking his shoulder he did just as he did when he was a child, he sat straight up and began to scream, eyes closed tightly shut.

“Sirius, shhhh”

Who was that? The grip on his mouth only got stronger now that he was screaming. Sirius began desperately trying to get away from them, anything he could do he was trying.

“Stop screaming”

Although he couldn’t quite recognise the voice he stopped screaming, something about the voice gave him a great sense of comfort. Opening his eyes he finally saw who owned the voice.

“Are you okay?” Remus whispered. “I’m going to take away my hand so please don’t scream”

He nodded his head as he couldn’t talk with the tight grip Remus had on his face. Holy shit, he was so strong, even after scaring him half to death the thought that pushed to the front of his mind was that Remus must be shockingly strong to be able to hold onto Sirius while he was trying to get away from him in any way possible.

“Are you okay?” he repeated now that Sirius was able to speak.

“Yeah, sorry about that”

“Nothing to be sorry about, I scared you”

“Why did you wake me?” he asked slowly, coming to his senses and realising that no, it was not normal for Remus to wake him with a hand over his mouth, did he have to be quiet about something?

“The potion”

He looked at Remus, brows furrowed because any idiot could see that it was the middle of the night and they didn’t have potions in the middle of the night, right?

“The polyjuice potion”

Ohhhhh, that potion. Sirius nodded to him before getting out from under the blanket and reaching under his bed for the bag that he had packed a few hours ago.

They didn’t speak again until they got downstairs to the dungeons, walking in complete silence under the invisibility cloak that Remus, already being over six foot tall, had to duck so that their feet couldn’t be seen. It was altogether one of the most scary moments of Sirius’ life.

Every Time they heard a noise Remus would get closer in case the cloak wouldn’t be able to cover their feet and every time Sirius’ breath would catch in his throat, making him shiver or stop in place. After a while it seemed like Remus was doing it on purpose just to annoy him.

“Ok so we need to find a little, green, glass vial”, Remus says after they successfully make their way into the potions room. “It should be in his desk or the supply cupboard”

“I’ll check his desk”

“I swear if you mess up his stuff then I’ll make sure you can never drink a potion again”

And with those kind words from one of his best mates Sirius and Remus go their separate ways, Sirius to check his desk and Remus to check the cupboard.

There isn’t anything out of the ordinary inside the desk. His first drawer has a large collection of quills, that all look to be quite new and quite expensive, two boxes of chocolate frogs and a pot of ink.

The second has three books all on potions that take up the entire drawer and the third has roughly 30 small green, glass vials. It doesn’t take long to find the right one and then there it is marked in squiggly black ink, polyjuice potion.

“Moony! I’ve found it!” Sirius shouts across the room the second he gets the right vial in his hand.

“Pads” Remus hisses back at him, “Shut the fuck up or we’ll be caught”

Remus only just gets over to Sirius by the time the door is opened and two people came stumbling in, clearly not noticing the two behind the desk in their hast to get in.

“The potions room?”

“Well we can’t have sex in our dorms because of the whole, not being an official couple yet” The other person was saying.

“Not complaining” the other muttered back

There wasn’t any talking after that but didn’t get much farther before Sirius poked his head out to find a way out of this classroom before the ‘unofficial couple’ got too far.

“Marlene?” was the first thing that came to mind when he poked his head out and clearly the first thing he said too, causing the couple to pull apart.

Remus was quick to follow him up to see this new discovery. Marlene was standing next to a very red faced Dorcas? Dorcas Meadows? He did not see that coming, never would have put them as a couple. Even an unofficial one.

“What are you two doing here?” Remus asked while Marlene tried to fix her quite thoroughly ruffled hair.

“What are you two doing here?” she snapped back throwing the two of them a glare as they stood up from were they had previously been hiding.

“Remus asked first” he said in quick succession because no way in hell was he going to tell Marlene McKinnon what he was doing. If anyone was going to be talking to James it was Marlene, the two had been best friends before Hogwarts and were still as close as could be. They told each other everything. Each and every prank they do Marlene knows about, every time one of them does something fun or amazing Marlene will be the first one, outside of the marauders, that will find out about it.

There were no secrets that James had that Marlene did not know about. It took making James swear under truth serum that he was not going to tell Marlene anything about Remus being a werewolf for Remus to fully trust them with the secret.

“Remus aske- oh merlin did you suck Remus’ dick?” Marlene answered back and if Sirius wasn’t blushing before he sure was now. With a quick glance to Remus he could see that he was just as if not more red than Sirius was.

“What?” Remus shouted back and if he was complaining about Sirius being loud earlier than he was very much so a hypocrite in his opinion.

Dorcas probably sensing how awkward it was in the room right now, decided to just grab Marlene’s hand and head straight for the door.

“Enjoy getting your blowjob Remus” Marlene made sure to say before Dorcas harshly pulled her through the door.

The two boys stood there for what felt like hours but could have only been minutes before turning away from the door to look at the floor instead.

“Got the potion?” Remus asked followed by a cough.

“Yup, will we- ahh”

“Yeah, lets go”

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