Jealousy
Almost every teen has a part-time job. Remus, of course, was no exception to this. After a year of searching for a job that was just right for him, he finally found an ice cream parlor. It was a cozy mom-and-pop shop that made and sold homemade ice cream in a wide variety of flavors. Remus loved it. Not only was he able to sit on a stool when he was waiting for people to come in, but ice cream just had the tendency to make people happy. He loved seeing young kids and adults alike get excited about the sweet treat. It was a job suited perfectly for the sweet-toothed boy.
It was Tuesday afternoon when his entire friend group came into the parlor. He only had ten minutes until his shift ended. Everyone else was off on Tuesdays, so often they would all convene in the shop around seven. Remus took their orders, scooped their ice cream, and then stumbled off to find his things. He was in pain that day, to the point where he should probably lay down and not get up for a week. Still, when his friends decided they wanted to go to the park across the street, Remus obliged. You only live once, right? A little pain never hurts anyone.
The park was just about empty, which wasn't very surprising for this time of the day. Sirius was taking the lead in the group today, leading the rest of them to a rickety old swing set and confidently proclaiming:
"Whoever can swing the highest is the coolest, most awesome person here."
"And we all know it'll be me."
James bit back just as confidently. Both boys raced quickly to take their places on the swings, which definitely aren't suited to two tall teenage boys. Remus watched as Lily and Peter also took up swings of their own.
"I'll be the judge."
walked over to sit on a nearby bench.
"That's not fair! You'll obviously let Sirius win because he's your boyfriend."
"Actually, I'll let Lily win because she is better than all of you combined."
With that, they were off. All racing to be the fastest and to swing the highest. Though none of them were really getting that far off the ground. Regulus stood on the other side of the swingset, watching the contest take place. When Sirius started to win, Regulus wasn't having it. Quickly, he ran behind the swings, rushing to push James and Lily higher and faster. Despite his effort, Sirius somehow managed to keep going higher, swinging past the top of the bars before coming back down.
Sensing how dangerous this contest was beginning to get, Remus quickly called it off, crowning Sirius the winner of the swing race. He was met with many protests, especially from James.
"You didn't even give us a chance! That isn't fair! Next time, Regulus will be the judge."
Remus shook his head, amused.
"Next time, I'll beat all of you on the swings."
"Sure, you will moony."
Sirius ruffled his hair gently before sitting down on the bench next to him. He intertwined their fingers together, and Remus let his head fall on his boyfriend's shoulder. He was so tired and in so much pain. Everything ached, like his skin was too small for his body and like his muscles were all clenched tight. James, Lily, and Regulus were chasing each other around the play structure in the middle of the park. Giggles and joking insults being thrown left and right. Remus watched his friends and felt that awful feeling of dread settle into his stomach.
Remus loves spending time with his friends; he really does! He loves them so much, but in moments like this, it's really hard to overcome the jealousy and longing he feels for them. They have so much energy. They aren't in constant pain and can run, jump, and play whenever they feel like it. Remus wasn't sure why he should want to go on when he can't do anything he really wants to do. He wants to be able to participate in swingset races, walk with everyone to class, or even stand without fear of passing out. He wants to play rugby with James and Sirius, or at least be allowed to go to the games. Anger and sadness overcame him, filling his eyes with tears. He wiped them away quickly before standing up. Without saying a word, Remus turned and began to exit the park, with Sirius following close behind.
"Where are you going, love?"
With as much cheer and certainty as Remus could muster, he responded.
"I just remembered I have some work due tomorrow, so I'm heading home."
"Alright, well, I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Yeah, see you tomorrow."
As soon as Remus knew Sirius could no longer see him, the waterworks started. Tear after tear fell down his face until he got home. He walked straight into his room, completely disregarding his evening meds. He'd be in pain anyway, right? Climbing into bed, he sobbed until he fell asleep.