Dreaming
Saturday sleepovers were a tradition the boys had kept since they were very young. They had them twice a month, and they mostly stayed at Jame’s house. Remus had not gone to one in almost a year. It was just too difficult and nerve-wracking to stay away from his house. What if something happens or he forgets something? It wasn't worth the anxiety. That's why everyone was surprised when Remus agreed to attend the next bimonthly sleepover.
In the days leading up to the sleepover, Remus was a nervous wreck. He wasn’t even nervous about his medical stuff; it was more that he hadn’t been to a sleepover in so long. The boy couldn’t remember what the event contained. He was unsure what type of clothes he should pack; would it be cold? Hot? Should he pack activities? Would he be bored? There were so many questions, and he couldn’t just ask. He didn’t want to seem like a loser by being so insanely nervous over something so trivial. Instead, he let it eat at him until after school on Friday.
When the final bell rang on Friday, Remus raced out of the building. He had exactly an hour until he had to be a James, and he was by no means prepared. Not only did he have to pack, but he also wanted to allow a bit of leeway. The more time between school and the sleepover, the better.
As soon as Remus heard the click of his bedroom door, the panic started. He needed to hurry, but with his breath caught in his throat and his brain going far too fast, all he could do was stand in the center of his room and wait. His heart felt like it was about to fly out of his chest. Everything was moving far too fast. Knowing if he kept standing he’d probably pass out, Remus slowly sank to the floor, putting his head between his knees. There was nothing he could do except wait.
A knock brought Remus out of his panic slightly. He was unsure of how much time had passed; it could have been seconds or hours. He looked up to find Sirius standing at the door. He wore an expression between sadness and confusion. As soon as Remus met Sirius’ gaze, the boy in the doorway rushed over to take his very distressed boyfriend in his arms.
"What happened, Moony? Are you alright?"
"I'm sorry, I'm fine, just a bit stressed, is all."
"You were sobbing on the floor; I wouldn't call that ‘just a bit stressed."
"You're right, I'm very stressed. This sleepover is too much."
"What? Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped."
"Because for once in my life, I just wanted to be normal. I don't want to be the sick friend, the tired friend, or whatever else you guys see me as. I wanted to just be part of the group and go to one of those stupid Friday night sleepovers like I did before my diagnosis. I had to prove I could do it."
Sirius gently moved Remus so that they were looking at each other. He took his boyfriend's face in his hand and slowly pressed a kiss to his lips.
"I have never and will never see you as the sick kid. You are my beautiful, wonderful boyfriend, who is so strong and brave. I love you, Remus."
And with that, everything faded to black…
Remus woke on the floor of his bedroom, cold and alone. He looked around in search of his favorite boy, but only found the room stagnant and empty. His head felt cloudy, and everything was quiet. Unsure what else to do, he checked the time. He still had ten minutes to make it to the stupid sleepover, so he stood up, brushed himself off, and got his stuff together. He let one silent tear fall for the disappointment he felt over the false dream. His friends wouldn't react like that. He can't get his hopes up over a silly dream. Wiping away that last bit of weakness, Remus plastered on a smile because if he's going to be the sick kid, he could at least try to seem happy about it.