And They Were Poets

Sunday 5th September 1971

The weekend was given as days for the new students to get used to their way around the school. The other boys, thankfully, did spend that time according and were out mostly during the two days, often leaving before Remus had even woken up, only asking him when he was in a half-asleep state if he’d join them which a shaky yawn and a quiet “no” was enough for answers.

They returned around curfew at nine, meaning Remus had time all to himself which he couldn’t help but feel extremely grateful for. He started moving the draft of a map in his head over to paper, going over every bit of it very slowly so he could understand it himself though it was still hard for everyone else to read as Peter stopped by to look over his shoulder and somehow read ‘Potato’ instead of ‘Potions’.

Other than the map, Remus would drag himself out of bed right in time for Lunch, the other boys were nowhere to be seen and Remus didn’t know if he should take it as a good or bad sign. But this time, Wes had joined them in the great hall and sat eating beside Remus before shuffling away someplace elsewhere.

As the full moon approached, Remus barely ate on the Sunday on which he would transform so he locked in the dorm room and didn’t step out. And for some reason, the boys decided not to stay out the entire day again and brought Remus some snacks from supper which he forced himself to swallow. He couldn’t taste anything he ate though, he never could during the days of the full moon.

Those days were the worst for him. His hearing got profusely worse throughout the day until he could barely hear, and his eyesight became blurry which in turn also made him dizzy, he couldn’t smell or taste anything, nor was he able to feel anything on his skin. Which was why he always made sure to never leave his or Maddy’s house —whichever one he was at that day—.

It was his first time to not be home during the full moon and the anxiety of it all only made the symptoms worse and if that wasn’t enough, Remus couldn’t hold onto his own emotions which made him overly snappy whenever someone spoke even a word to him.

This was the reason he had felt bad enough to eat the snacks he was brought by his dormmates even when he had absolutely no appetite and would vomit it all up during the transformation anyway.

Sirius had jumped on his bed the moment he entered and was holding onto a wrapped sandwich and a chocolate frog. Remus just stared at him with a raised eyebrow, “You haven’t eaten all day, mate.” Sirius explained.

“So?”

“So, we asked the elves in the kitchen to make you something.”

“An’ tha’ s’my problem, how, exactly?”

“We just thought you’d like something to eat since you haven’t moved all day.”

“Well I don’.”

“Just take it if you want it later— “

“The fuck wrong with yeh? I alrehdy said I don’ wan’ it.”

Sirius left it at that and a bit later Remus had grown a small stretch of his conscience back and decided to eat what Sirius had just left lying on the bed.

The others had left promptly after and Remus didn’t see them for the rest of the day. He walked down the steep steps that led to their dorms, holding tight onto the railing so he would be unable to fall. It was still only around eight so the common room hadn’t filled up too much. Most of the ones who were there happened to be the older students just whispering between each other.

This made it easier for Remus to leave without worrying that someone was trying to speak to him and he just wasn’t able to hear. He slipped out the portrait and almost froze at the huge hallways that were greeting him. He should know where the hospital wing was. He should. It was the very first thing he marked on his map but now all the halls and turns and corners looked the same.

What if he was heading the wrong way?

He ended up hiding in an opening in the wall with his head crouched against his knees and his hands over his head. He hated these days. He truly entirely despised the days of the full moon almost as much as he did the night.

Remus didn’t know how long he spent in that position. Time worked weirdly for him. Sometimes he’d think a minute had passed when it had been multiple hours and sometimes he thought hours had passed when it only had been seconds.

But eventually, he did drag himself out and almost crawled down multiple sets of stairs until he noticed the great hall and then the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey seemed to already be waiting for him outside and when she noticed his state, pure horror fell upon her face. It was a normal reaction. Everyone always had that reaction. Remus had had that reaction the first time he saw how he looked, too.

The Matron rushed over to him. She was saying something that Remus couldn’t hear, helping him up, and half carrying him into the hospital wing. She let him sit on one of the many empty white beds before crouching down to his eye level and starting to talk again.

“—okay?” After the boy focused hard enough, that was the only word he could understand. He could hear. He cocked his head.

Madam Pomfrey seemed to thankfully understand what was meant by that immediately and she leaned over to his ear, this time, her voice was overly clear. “Min— Professor McGonagall will join us in a moment and then we’ll show you to your accommodations for the night.”

Remus nodded his head as a sign he heard, scratching at the palm of his hand to calm his nerves though it didn’t seem to work that well. Madam Pomfrey pulled away and though it was hazy, Remus could tell she was smiling the same soft smile as she had a few days ago when they had first met.

He didn’t know how long it took as the minutes passed by. There was shuffling feet outside as students started to make their way to their common rooms in time for curfew, a few stopping by the hospital wing and calling to Madam Pomfrey a quick “good night” before going back on their way. Remus noted more than a few students did so and he thought it strange that no one opened the door.

After the students had gone it all fell quiet once more and a few minutes passed, and the door was finally opened. Remus’ eyes found it but were unable to fully take in the figure that walked inside though he knew immediately it must have been Professor McGonagall.

She and Madam Pomfrey seemed to switch a couple of words between each other, words Remus didn’t understand. And then suddenly— “Mr. Lupin?” The clearness of the voice made Remus jump, he pulled his legs to his chest and looked around but no one was close enough to him for the voice to be as clear as it was.

Mcgonagall crouched down to be eye to eye with the young boy, her face was stern, quite the opposite of Pomfreys. She assessed him before speaking once more, “If you’re ready, we may lead you to where you will spend the night.”

Remus nodded. Pomfrey then spoke but like before her voice wasn’t heard and she only moved her mouth and oh. It was magic, of course, it was magic. The professor had done something so Remus could hear her voice as clearly as night and day. It was magic, what else would it have been?

He was in a school of magic, what else would they do here if not magic?

McGonagall nodded in satisfaction to something the Matron had said before turning back to Remus, “Follow us then, if you could.”

Remus looked over to Pomfrey, her smile still blurry and still there as she offered him a hand which he carefully and slowly accepted. He stood up, swaying from side to side for a moment before the woman placed her arm around his shoulder in order to steady him.

And then, they promptly started behind McGonagall.

They didn’t head into the dungeons or anywhere that Remus would have thought would be good to contain a werewolf. Instead, he was led outside the castle entirely, near the training grounds where the flying lessons were held. There stood a tree that threw around its branches in every possible direction possible.

Remus remembered Professor Dumbledore mentioning it maybe once during his speech but it was such a small and vague mention for Remus to be unable to hear what had been said about it. Even the name drew a complete blank when he tried to recall it.

When they made it close enough, Pomfrey stopped making Remus still under her arm to stop as well. McGonagall however, just continued on forward and Remus was absolutely certain the tree would hit her in only a matter of seconds but just an inch before they would collide, McGonagall was gone.

She was there one minute and gone the next. Remus looked around but the Professor was nowhere to be seen, he turned to Madam Pomfrey for an explanation. She nodded in understanding and led Remus’ face to look at the ground. He did.

There was a tabby cat. A tabby cat ran straight at the trunk of the tree, maneuvering around any branch that came it's way. Unable to see, Remus only knew the cat had done something for the tree to become as still as a statue.

And while waiting, the cat grew large once more and when Remus got close enough, he recognized the face of McGonagall. She nodded and signaled towards the trunk of the whole which was hollow and then lead the two others inside.

Inside was a very dimly lit hallway and every step Remus took felt stranger than the last. The ground turned from stone to mud and it continued like that until, at the very last step, it had turned to stone once more.

Madam Pomfrey had Remus raise his feet for the few steps that were ahead and stopped at a door. Inside it looked to be a small cottage, not been in use for multiple years now. Remus didn’t take one step without stepping onto a broken piece of glass or wood.

Remus didn’t see more than two feet in front of him and the darkness certainly didn’t make it any easier. This though didn’t seem to be the place where he would stay the night as McGonagall continued to lead them even farther up the stairs until they stopped by one door.

The Professor opened it but didn’t step inside, “here we are.” Her voice was clear again. “We’ll head out for the night. Poppy will come by as soon as the sun rises if that’s alright?”

Pomfrey finally pulled herself away and slowly pushed the boy into the empty room, her smile now gone. And no matter how hazy and blurry her face was, Remus knew the expression she wore. It was the same one his mother had. A mixture of Sorrow and Pity.

“If you’d like, one of us can stay behind the door until the… Ordeal is finished.” McGonagall was trying far too hard for Remus’ liking.

He shook his head. He’d rather die than have anyone close to him during the transformation and the wolf would feel his fear and would become far more aggressive than usual.

“Well if you’re—”

“This ain’t my first time in teh rodeo, I’m fine,” Remus spoke for the first time in hours. His voice was rusty and tired and made him sound ten times older than he was.

McGonagall finally seemed to understand and just nodded, “We’ll see you tomorrow then.” And just like that, she was gone. Madam Pomfrey looked at the boy before she went following after closing and heavily locking the door behind her.

Remus fell to the ground then. The walking had taken away all his energy like it always did. The room he was in was empty apart from a mattress placed far in the corner.

He crawled to it and let himself fall down on it. The full moon would come in a few hours so he decided it best to sleep when he had the chance.

He woke up an hour later.

He wasn’t himself.

__________

Like he’d been promised, Madam Pomfrey found him the next morning. Her expression was horrified with widened eyes as she approached him laying on the bed after tiredly putting his clothes back on after waking.

Helping him up, they ended up back in the hospital wing. Remus now, being able to walk straight with only needing a few short-second breaks on the way. It was still early so no one was in the halls to question his very untidy look.

They did come across the caretaker, though. Mr. Filch, Madam Pomfrey introduced the scowling man who had without a word, continued on his way while cursing uncontrollably under his breath. Pomfrey didn’t seem too bothered by this and just gave an excuse of “he’s just tired”. Remus didn’t buy that but just nodded along.

They made it to their destination of the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey finished dressing Remus’ wounds, being overly careful with every touch but Remus didn’t mind. At home, he had to live with his open wounds in that cold dark room for three days so he’d gotten used to not being treated right away. Carefulness didn’t matter, he was just grateful he was looked after by a professional who knew what they were doing and so soon, too.

He was told to lay in bed, which he did all the way until it was time for breakfast. Sleep, unfortunately, did not find its way to him despite his tiredness.

Madam Pomfrey allowed him to the great hall after a strict session of “you will not go to any classes today” repeated over and over. Remus reluctantly agreed. He didn’t mind people taking care of him, never had as it was quite rare.

After the talking, Remus made his way to the great hall and almost immediately his eyes fell on his dormmates. They were down there weirdly early.

After a few seconds of doubting and Remus was on his way to them. They were once again sat in the same places as they had before. He sat next to Peter, earning surprised looks from all of them.

He gave a nod, the ringing in his ear louder than normal like it always was after the full moons. The next day, his hearing always returned without fail as if it had never vanished in the first place. And after not being able to hear, any noise made Remus feel like his head would burst.

“Rem!” James almost shouted after taking in the fact the boy had sat next to them first without being prompted to do so.

Remus, for some reason, felt glad at his uncarefulness. Pomfrey had been all too careful all morning as well as the night before along with McGonagall.

Remus looked up, “James!” He called back more enthusiastically than he would have usually, earning weird looks again from the three boys and a few from students sitting nearby.

“Are you okay? You weren’t there when we got back or woke up, we’ve been worried!” Peter spoke, scooching over as if to make sure the boy was real.

Remus nodded and smiled, “I spent the night in the hospital wing.”

“What?” Sirius raised his head from staring down at his untouched food. “What happened? You—”

“I’m fine.” Remus promised, and he remembered the story that Professor McGonagall had told him to tell, “I just have this muggle sickness that gets really bad every once in awhile, I’ll feel better once I rest.” He looked up from his plate and noted he was expected to continue, so with a quiet voice he added, “I won’t be in class today.”

“Well, I hope you feel better, Rem.” James smiled from his spot next to Sirirus, his smile rather soft compared to the loud one Remus had gotten used to the past few days.

“Thanks…” A short pause followed by, “Jame-i…?” He held the ‘E’ longer than normal and added the ‘I’ with a questioning tone. James didn’t respond and just grinned and Remus thought this meant it was fine.

“Does you feeling better have an inclusion of your weird niceness vanishing?” Sirius spoke with a laugh and this time it was Remus’ time to grin,

“If that’s what you wish.”

__________

The rest of the day went by quite fast. Remus found himself back in the dorm room not before Madam Pomfrey had sent him away with three different potions after testing more than a couple. Remus made his way to the dorm by himself, hands filled with potions that had long escaped him.

The day went by the same as the last two had gone. Remus continued adding details to his map of the things he’d seen the day before, he was unable to sleep during the day and so he read and kept copying the notes Lily had allowed him to borrow.

He went down for lunch, where he decided to sit next to Lily after she had pretty much flagged him down while waving both her hands like a madman. She was sat with Marlene and Remus gave her a light nod as he sat next to the redhead.

This went by almost identically as breakfast had gone down. They were surprised at his nice personality and Lily screamed at his face, questioning him about his whereabouts during the morning classes. And so he went with the same story he had told the others.

After that, instead of returning to the dorm, Remus found himself in the library. He asked the librarian, Madam Pince, every question he could possibly think of about the area, and every time she was asked another thing, the woman seemed to get more and more irritated so much so that Remus just stopped asking every question that he had spinning around in his head.

He stayed in the library for the next few hours until dinner.

On his way back to the great hall, he stumbled upon someone unexpectedly waiting for him. Well, he didn’t stumble upon them, more like he was jumped. Something ran at him and pushed him up against the hard castle wall, their arm on his throat.

It took moments for Remus to fully gather what was happening and when he did, instead of looking at the boy who had him by his throat, his eyes fell onto the woman behind him. The blond woman who had had that argument with Sirius on the first night.

She was fiddling with her braid that was flipped over her left shoulder but other than that she looked as calm as she had before. “Lucius, please.” She almost pleaded, her blue eyes glimmering under the faint light shining down on them.

The man, ‘Lucius’, as he’d been addressed slowly and reluctantly pulled away. He had very light blonde hair, it was so light that depending on the lighting there was no doubt it could be mistaken as white. His hair was tied, most of it hiding under the shirt of his uniform.

He was annoyed and irritated so clearly, the complete opposite of his companion yet he still did exactly as he was told without a word.

The girl smiled softly and then turned over to Remus, her eyes unable to find a solid place to look at as she spoke, “I’m sorry, are you alright?” She asked despite avoiding looking at the younger boy at all.

“Fine,” Remus spoke after nodding and realizing she was unaware of him bobbing his head up and down multiple times.

The girl seemed to sigh in relief and after a few seconds her eyes finally met Remus’, “Lupin, yes?” Somehow she had picked up his name from only hearing it once. Before he could answer in any way, however, she continued, “I’m Narcissa.” And then added, “Black. Narcissa Black.”

Remus nodded in confusion without a word. The girl continued, “We were wondering if you could give something to Sirius from us.” She went on, signaling towards herself and Lucius.

“Can’t you do it yourself?” Remus asked, his voice strained.

Lucius stepped forward, his wand now at the younger one's throat, “Talk that way again and I will use this, you filthy mudblood—”

“Lucius, say one more word and I swear to fucking Merlin, I will murder you.” Narcissa’s eye twitched as she spoke. Lucius froze immediately hearing that harsh and coldness of a voice, pulling apart from the Gryffindor once more and then stepping back, almost sulk-like.

Narcissa smiled a sweet smile when she turned back and continued speaking to Remus, as if she hadn’t just screamed a second before, “Sirius won’t talk to me, he keeps avoiding it. You’re friends, right?”

Remus let his heart calm down for a moment before he spoke again, We’re not—” he sighed then, giving up. He just wanted to eat. “Sure, what do you need?”

Narcissa’s face clearly brightened up despite her neutral expression unchanging. “Here. Thank you.” She pulled out a bare white envelope from under her robe, took Remus’ hand in hers, and placed down the creased paper on his palm.

And then just like when they had appeared, the duo were gone in the blink of an eye, blending into the many students walking past.