And They Were Poets

Friday 10th September 1971

The rest of the week went by quite smoothly. The same as the days before the weekend had been. Wes disappeared in the mornings and was only spotted when he came back in time for curfew, no one still had the courage to tell Sirius how horrendous his makeup looked, Lily spent most of both her free time as well as the classes they shared with Slytherin never leaving Snape's side. Quite annoying, really. How did one such as Severus Snape become good friends with a person such as Lily Evans? Lily deserved more, truly.

Remus had divided his sitting arrangements when eating, sitting together with the boys at breakfast, the girls at lunch, and whoever was the first he saw at dinner. None seemed to mind his company even when he felt bad for intruding on their conversations at times.

After catching Severus staring holes into him at dinner time, he had also decided to avoid sitting near Lily and instead made himself at home by Marlene's side.

The girls would speak about how their classes were going and the boys avoided the conversation of classes with everything in them. Another very clear difference. Neither group didn’t forcefully make Remus speak when he didn’t wish to do so meaning whatever topic it was, Remus was fine with both.

After Remus had delivered that sealed letter Monday, Sirius had become oddly happy. He’d been energetic, sure, but ever since the announcement of his house, he had had his head low, playing with his food and often not paying attention in class despite the intense look he always looked at the teacher with. But now he was like that had never happened. He was acting the same way he had that day on the train;

Obnoxiously loud.

Remus didn’t know whether it was a blessing or a curse.

So far during the week, Sirius had gotten detention twice while Peter and James had once. Remus hadn’t even wanted to know what they were doing without him yet he knew because a fourth year had almost knocked down their door and then had screamed at Remus because his “crazy friends” had jinxed pies to follow him around an entire day and when they caught up him they would fly straight to his face.

It probably wasn’t the best choice of their charms Professor to have chosen that as the first spell to teach a bunch of rascal first years. But it was far too late to change that.

Other classes had gone both better and worse. McGonagall was their Professor for Transfiguration which only meant it was stiff and stern. She’d explain things but didn’t take questions until the very end when all the questions had already left the students.

Flying was maybe Remus’ favorite class, it for sure beat History of Magic by a wild margin where most students fell asleep the first five minutes. Remus wasn’t one of those people though, how could he with Lily Evans sitting next to him? The girl made a point to keep him awake every time he looked even a bit like dozing off. Though Remus supposed that had helped him learn about things he had absolutely no interest in. The only thing even slightly interesting about it was the Professor, Cuthbert Binns, who just happened to be a ghost.

The first time he’d seen that, Remus had almost jumped out of his skin,

The three days of classes Remus had attended, he enjoyed more than the self-taught ones he had used to give himself at home. Maybe it was the air but he wasn’t really too certain of that.

In September, on Friday the 10th, 1971, Remus gets out of bed like normal. He was again the last to rise, with Sirius very messily putting on eyeliner he had borrowed from some fifth-year girls, James flexing his nonexistent muscles to himself in the mirror, Peter spending a strangely long amount of time in the toilet, and Wes finishing off some of his work he’d forgotten to do the night before.

Remus sat up, biting his tongue lazily to fully wake him up. It was unsuccessful, of course, it was.

“Morning, Rem!” James chirped from his place next to the mirror, eyeing him through the reflection.

Remus yawned, covering his mouth, and then let out a muffled, “Hi, Jamie.”

It wasn’t long after he had gotten out of bed when a frantic knock was heard at the door. It knocked and then it stopped and then the knocking continued. The only other friends Remus had that weren’t residents of that dorm were Lily and Marlene but girls weren’t allowed on the boy's floor and from what Remus figured, the other first years didn’t have to have friends other than each other either.

Remus turned to Wes and let his gaze follow the older to the door while he finished pulling up his uniform pants. The second year opened the door but before Remus could get a glint of who was behind it, Wes was outside with the door closed.

Remus found him and Peter, who had just left the loo, looking at each other in the confusion they both knew neither was carrying. A minute passed, then two, and then three.

Four minutes later, Wes returned, his eyes widened and horrified.

“We’re going down for breakfast. Now.” He decided only a second after entering, “Grab your things and let’s go. Whatever you see downstairs, whoever talks to you before you leave the common room, ignore it all.”

Remus had chills all over his body. What in the hell was happening? Wes had always looked oddly Serious for a twelve-year-old, acted older than he was, and it scared Remus to his core. What could make someone look like this? This. It didn’t even have a word to be able to describe it.

“What’s up?” James asked, his voice just as concerned and weirded out as Remus felt.

Wes shot him a look, “later.” And then he was gone, out the door, expecting the others to follow. And they did. They did because they were children and children were always curious. And oh hell, weren’t they curious?

Remus would look back on this time quite often. What if he hadn’t been as curious as he was? The nightmares that had haunted him for years, wouldn’t have happened then. He wished they didn’t. He was eleven.

Remus Lupin was eleven the first time he saw a dead body.

It was common to hear about old homeless people going off and dying in a ditch someplace, but Remus had never seen one. He’d always remember the story AJ had used to tell, about how he’d found a body and buried it so it could rest. He had always described the way it looked and how terribly cold they were.

But Remus had thought he had exaggerated because that was AJ and AJ exaggerated. But that day when Remus walked down the stairs from the boy's dorm rooms and saw the people all gathered in a circle while whispering to each other, that was the day Remus knew it wasn’t an exaggeration.

He was close behind Sirius with Peter chasing after him. He had no idea where he was going and only followed blindly. When they made it down the stairs, they were met with the girl who had sat with Wes the first day. The girl who had looked through Remus like he wasn’t there.

She greeted Wes with a nod before taking the lead in leading the boys out of the common room and Remus was curious. All of them were. He glanced back and he could have sworn so did the others. And he regretted that decision more than he had anything in his entire life before this point.

Through the bodies that wrecked Remus’ vision, he could see them. Barely but still. Two bodies lay flat on the ground, covered under what appeared to be one of the Gryffindor tapestries, torn down from the ceiling where it had still last night found its home.

They were covered but Remus saw, through the small gap between the floor and the tapestry, Remus saw the eyes glowing back at him. Deep, dead eyes. Staring but not seeing. Eyes without life. Without anything. You could touch them and they could melt away at your fingertip.

Remus saw the face. Red and puffy and smiling? No, laughing — Red and Puffy and laughing and absolutely horrified. Whoever it was had laughed before breathing their final breath.

Remus was pulled away before he could see anything else.

“Bloody hell, I told you to ignore it, didn’t I?” Wes spoke the moment they stepped out of the common room.

“Right, serry.” Remus got out, unable to shake those dead eyes staring back at him.

__________

Breakfast was unusually quiet that day. Sirius didn’t seem quite as bothered as he should’ve been and just acted like it was a normal morning. Like they hadn’t just seen two dead bodies. Remus wanted to vomit anything and everything he swallowed that day. He kept eating to a bare minimum because of that.

Wes and the girl sat with the four first years. It was the first time Remus had seen them in the great hall ever since the sorting ceremony. Something always held them back from joining the feasts.

Lily and Marlene, after a while arrived as well; Marlene looked like she might faint any second while Lily just walked with absolutely no sense of direction. Her head was completely empty. Well, it was until her best friend, Severus Snape found his way to her. They switched a couple of words and then Lily was off with him to the Slytherin table, ending up with Marlene without her support meaning she wobbled all the way until she reached the group.

She plopped herself down next to Remus and laid her head on his shoulder. Remus would have normally pushed her away but he was already far too exhausted for that and just laid his head on the girls in return.

Wes and the girl ate, clearly uncomfortable but they did it without a second to breathe and without a word until both of their plates were empty. When they finished, the second-year girl started to choke while Wes started hitting his head against the wooden table.

This went on for the next five minutes.

After, Wes looked up and smiled like whatever just happened didn’t just happen, “Merlin, okay. Fuck.” And Remus had expected him to do anything but curse because Wes Creevey didn’t curse. Remus was convinced Wes Creevey didn’t curse.

But he did. Because something curse worthy had happened in only one night. “Fuck.” Remus ended up agreeing, getting a weak smirk from James as he also repeated it.

“We have class in ten minutes.” Brought up the second-year girl, after her choking session she appeared strangely cheerful. “Do you want that or to stay and get to appreciate the amazingness that is Mary Macdonald's presence?”

“They’d be mad if they didn’t choose the latter.” Spoke Wes.

“Exactly! But you’re only admitting to your own madness.”

“What would an honest person be without the truth?”

Remus had absolutely no clue what this conversation was but he was fine with it, as long as he was distracted from those dead-staring eyes… He shook away the thoughts or tried to at least. It didn’t do much good.

“You mean the classes aren’t canceled after…” Marlene spoke from where she lay her head on Remus. She swallowed and after a moment just decided to stick with, “that.” She looked disgusted.

Mary Macdonald, as she had introduced (at least Remus thought she had), nodded nonchalantly, “Yeah, they don’t want the whole school agenda to be thrown off course by a few minor deaths.”

“Minor?” Peter chirped up, eyes wide.

Wes shrugged. Shrugged. Like it was nothing, “Minor.” He confirmed. “For non-minor deaths, the most we get off is one day. Classes help keep your mind off things though, thus I go.” He stood up, “Au revoir, my favorite people.”

“See ya,” Mary waved her hand lazily before turning to the first years, “class or no class?”

Marlene moved her head to lay it on the table, “I’d rather die than have to go to class.” Her voice was shaking.

Peter agreed with frantic nods, his cheeks stuffed. James decided on that too and because of that, of course, Sirius also didn’t attend classes.

Remus did. He felt bad if he didn’t go to class. And so the group left him by himself in the great hall until he found the strength in his legs to finally move and find his first class of the day which was charms.

__________

Going to class that day may just have been the worst decision Remus had ever made. Because rumors spread faster than wildfire in Hogwarts, it seemed. He couldn’t pass a single person in the halls without something being whispered about him. Pitiful whispers.

He was stopped by other students too, resulting him in being late to most of his classes. The first to seventh years would stop him and ask him things. “Is it true?”, “I heard they committed suicide.”, “Did they really use to killing curse on each other?”. Remus learned more from strangers than he ever would have wanted to know.

The whispers wouldn’t stop in the halls, they followed him into classrooms. In potions, Mulciber had made it his life mission for those two hours to ask every possible question he could think about. Remus did his best to ignore it but it was hard because Remus didn’t know either and with every question he was asked, he couldn’t help but wonder the exact same thing.

In charms, Jack had found her way to the Gryffindor side of the classroom and then up to Remus. She asked him about the whereabouts of his brother. To make sure he was alright because she had heard the rumors and was worried.

All Remus could tell her was confirm that there really had been two dead bodies in their common room that morning but nothing more since he didn’t know either. He told the girl Peter had found himself with Mary but didn’t know where exactly they had gone.

Jack then, unwillingly, accepted that as the answer, and sat next to Remus for the rest of the class.

Remus found himself also surprisingly happy over finding himself sitting next to Lily in History of Magic again. Professor Binns often got distracted by telling different stories and Lily keeping Remus up meant that he had something to be distracted over.

Remus and Lily were only found by the others again at supper time. They had been gone someplace the entire day and randomly appeared at dinner and joined the duo around the wooden table.

It was in a different order than usual because of the extra amount of people. Lily sat on Remus’ right and Sirius on his left and then Mary. Peter sat across from her next to Marlene, Wes, and James.

Remus didn’t like this suddenly eating with such a big group of people. He had been fine eating with the girls and his three first-year dormmates but them all mashed together along with two new additions wasn’t something he was too excited over.

But he supposed it was fine like this, at least for a bit. It was better than being by himself for sure yet he still couldn’t stand it, not really.

He wanted to speak to people who knew him instead of people he’d known for a week.

“That would be difficult, you understand?” Spoke Professor McGonagall from where she sat behind her office table.

“I know.” Remus muttered under his breath, “But if it is possible, could I call him?”

And that’s how Remus ended up in the headmaster's office where the only muggle telephone had been placed in the entire school. “For emergencies” they had said. “It is an emergency” Remus had replied. And after going back and forth and convincing McGonagall, she agreed to take the boy into Dumbledore’s office to ask him if they could be allowed to use the phone.

Remus didn’t exactly know what had happened but McGonagall returned to him with permission for him to use the phone. Which he did. He gave a small “hello” to the headmaster when he sat across from him and picked up the phone.

His hand shook as Dumbledore stared him down every second that passed until Remus would finally place the phone back down. And so Remus typed up the number that had long since been engraved into his brain.

“Hullo,” The voice came from the other line. A tired voice that could only mean she had just been woken up.

“Hi, Jaz?” Remus tried whispering so every word he said wouldn’t be heard.

“Oh my god, Wiz?”— The nickname had stuck despite Jaz unlike Maddy had been born a witch.— She sounded surprised, and like she could scream any second. “Holy shit, hi. How are you calling? You can’t call in school.”

Of course, that just had to be the first question. Of course. She had never been one to keep questions to herself. “Ye’, I’m jus’ cool like that. Uh— is Maddy there?”

A pause, “ya know his schedule. He s’out from eight to five every weekday. Fuck, do yeh need him? I could go try and—”

“No, is fine. Just…” Remus sighed. It was Friday. Why couldn’t it have been a day after? “How did yeh survive ‘ere fer as long as you did?” Jaz had graduated the summer before. Remus couldn’t hate the year he was born more than he did now.

“Ah shit, what happened?” Her voice softened yet there was a slight stiffness to it.

Remus glanced up at Dumbledore who still hadn’t moved much. “Nothin’ worth you worryin’ ‘bout. Jus’ tell Mads I called, ye?”

“Ah yea, be safe out there. That school ain’t the safest ‘round.”

“Figured. Love yeh, bye.”

“Love yeh too? Bye-bye.”

And then he hung up the phone. Remus gave a weak smile to the headmaster and gave him a thank-you nod. He felt like he couldn’t speak too well anymore. All his energy had gone. And then he was far out the door before even one word could be spoken between the two of them.

Remus wasn’t sure whether it was a good thing with how close the Gryffindor house was to the headmaster's office. Because he truly did not want to see anyone right now but it was also almost curfew so it was better than returning after the curfew had fallen.

He decided to just run into their dorm and not pay attention to anything else until he was able to fall asleep. He decided that. Close your eyes and walk, he told himself. But when he opened his eyes for just a second to see if he was going in the correct direction he saw it.

For some reason, despite the bodies being moved, the area hadn’t been cleaned. Nothing had been done there. Their wands were laying on the floor, the tapestry was rolled into a ball and tossed into a corner, and there was blood.

There was blood and— Remus wanted to throw up.

There wasn’t anyone down in the common room. He needed someone even if it was a stranger. He felt almost as bad as he had barely a week ago, on the full moon. He hated blood and the stench of it.

He closed his eyes again and tried breathing. The way AJ had taught him. In and out. In and out. Hold. In and out.

Remus almost ran up the stairs until he made it to the dorm room.

He scared Wes, who had been opening the door from the other side, to jump back but he couldn’t care less about that. He ran into the bathroom, kicking Sirius out.

He locked the door.

He fell.

He cried.