Chapter 18
Blaise set his bag on his bed and laid down with a deep sigh of contentment. He was finally back after two weeks. His travels were absolutely amazing. Almost everywhere they stopped they had been able to negotiate deals for supplies that were going to help elevate the shop to the next level. He and Theo had gotten to sightsee so much as well. It had been a really good bonding time for the two of them. With the wedding approaching, and with Blaise's new relationship with Harry, the pair hadn't gotten to spend as much time together lately.
Blaise was absolutely exhausted too, but he crawled out of bed to begin to unpack. He smiled when he set Harry's letter out on the desk. He hadn't gotten Harry's response to his second letter yet, but he figured the timing just hadn't worked out and that it would arrive today or tomorrow, once his owl finally figured out where he was.
He had known that he was going to miss Harry, but he had underestimated just how much. He had wondered about what Harry was doing, how he was, if he was okay, what he'd had for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner and more almost all day long. He was excited to see him as soon as he could.
He headed out to the living room. He had given Pansy and Theo some privacy when they had returned, but now he wanted a bit of dinner before he went to bed early.
"Hello Blaise, welcome back," Pansy said from the dining room table where her and Theo were sitting with some takeout, "We got you some, I figured you'd be hungry."
"Thanks Pans," he said and sat down to dig in. They talked all about what they had done, and what they'd seen. Theo recounted a story of him getting spit on by a camel in Egypt and Blaise retaliated by telling Pansy a story about Theo falling out of a boat in Venice.
Once they were done Pansy asked, "So when are you seeing Harry?"
"I'm not sure, I'm waiting for a letter from him and then we'll plan something," he said, "I want to catch up with him as soon as possible."
"Well, it looks like he was pretty busy while you were gone," Pansy said and she stood to go get a magazine from the side table. She opened the celebrity gossip page and slid it over to Blaise. Harry was pictured several times. Once walking out of the store with a bag that clearly had bottles of liquor. He was wearing dark sunglasses, and his bracelets were very present. Another picture showed him exiting a club, clearly holding onto someone's elbow for support. The final picture was taken from outside of the club into a window where you could see Harry standing and smoking something with a drink in his hand.
Blaise set the magazine down and sighed. Pansy eyed him carefully before she spoke, "I went to see him a few days ago because I wanted to hangout, but apparently he wasn't there. His manager was though, she's..."
"A piece of work," Blaise finished for her. He didn't know what to think about the pictures. On the one hand, he knew that Harry was going to have to work and that all of this could have been staged. On the other hand, he wasn't sure how good of an actor Harry was. These pictures felt very authentic.
"I think I'm going to go check on him, I was gone longer than I said I would be anyways," Blaise decided. He hoped that Harry wouldn't mind him popping in unannounced.
Blaise stood and made his way through the fireplace. He looked around Harry's apartment and found him standing with his manager over in the kitchen.
"Blaise!" Harry said. He smiled at his boyfriend and made his way over to him. The closer he got, the more alarmed he became. "I didn't know you were back already."
"I just got back today, thought I’d stop in and say hi," he said, and pulled Harry in for a quick kiss on the forehead. Harry looked like he had just woken up. It was evening. His eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was a mess. He was pale and looked even thinner than he had been when Blaise left. "What do you mean 'already'? I was gone longer than I told you I was going to be."
"Were you?" Harry looked confused and Blaise looked closely to see how glazed his eyes were. Harry looked over at Darla for an explanation.
"Oh, Harry's gone a little... wild this week. He's just lost track of time," Darla explained, looking all too pleased with herself.
"I thought you were going to keep it calm," Blaise couldn't stop himself from saying. He was disappointed in Harry, but he wanted to know what happened. Harry's brow furrowed.
"I know. I meant too, I don't know what happened," he said, looking genuinely confused like he was trying to remember, "I don't... I'm sorry."
Harry suddenly looked more aware, and very upset, "Blaise, I'm sorry, I don-"
"Harry, don't apologize for having fun," Darla reprimanded.
"Can I have tonight off? I want to-"
Blaise narrowed his eyes as Darla immediately cut Harry off.
"No. There are special guests coming tonight to see you. You can catch up tomorrow," Darla told him. Blaise was even more surprised when Harry didn't try to argue at all. "We need to get going Harry."
Blaise wanted to grab Harry and refuse to let him go wherever she wanted him to go, but Harry made his way down the hallway on wobbly legs.
"I see you've been making sure he stays sober like he wanted to," Blaise said snarkily to Darla when the door closed.
"I don't know where you got the idea that he wanted that. I've been helping him. Sometimes a person is so messed up that this is the only way that they can deal with it. You should support that instead of shaming him for it," Darla shot back.
"I'm not shaming him," Blaise defended, "I'm concerned, it's not healthy."
He watched with growing rage as she pulled out a bag of pills from her pocket and placed one on the table.
"Does he even know what that is?" he asked hotly.
"He knows that I'm taking care of him," Darla answered snootily as Harry exited his room. He was wearing a leather jacket and tight black pants.
"Here Harry, take this to look more alive," Darla said. Blaise wanted to intervene, but Harry swallowed it before he could say anything. Whatever Darla gave him must have been strong because Harry's eyes dilated and gleamed within a second. He looked like he was vibrating with energy.
"Harry, I thought you didn't want to be taking pills anymore?" Blaise remembered, heart in his throat.
"The healer gave them to her," Harry gestured to Darla, "They help me. Don't worry, it's a prescription. Nothing bad, right Darla?"
"Yes, now we need to go," Darla said quickly.
"Blaise, you should come with me!" he said excitedly, grabbing his hand. Blaise felt sick. This was all fake. This wasn't Harry. Or at least, it wasn't him being in his right mind.
"Baby, you know that's not my scene," he said gently, "Besides.. I just got back... I'm tired."
"Are you okay?" Harry asked in sudden concern.
"I'm okay," Blaise said tightly. He wanted to ask, 'Are you okay though?'. Instead, he said, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Tomorrow night, I'll pick you up at seven?"
"Yes, okay yes," Harry said with way too much enthusiasm.
"Please be safe tonight," Blaise said earnestly, "And call me if you need anything okay sweetheart?"
"It's gonna be fun," Harry chirped, missing how serious Blaise was.
"Harry, look at me," Blaise said, needing to know that Harry knew to be careful. Harry looked at him, but Blaise could tell his eyes were struggling to focus on him. "Be careful, take care of yourself."
"Yes, Blaise I will," Harry said and then smiled widely, "Can I get a kiss?"
Blaise couldn't say no to him, so he gave him a short one, trying to ignore how it made him feel just like everyone else who had taken advantage of Harry. He was unsuccessful, so he pulled away quickly.
"I'll see you later, I love you." he said. Harry said it back, but Blaise felt nothing because he knew it didn't mean anything when Harry was like this.
He flooed home.
"That was quick," Pansy commented from the couch. Blaise heard the shower running and figured that's where Theo was. "What's wrong? Is he okay?"
"He's... I don't know," Blaise said, suddenly feeling like crying. He didn't know how he felt. He felt like Harry should've stayed sober like he'd said he would. Then again, it wasn't Blaise's place to tell him what to do. If that was the life that Harry wanted, then that was the life that Harry could have. But Blaise didn't think that's what Harry wanted. He had been very clear that he hated going out and the way that the drugs messed with his life. He didn't know why Harry wasn't standing up to Darla. Blaise did know that he had to talk to Harry while he was sober, and while Darla wasn't there.
"Tell me about it," Pansy said leaning forward, "What's got you so worked up?"
Blaise didn't know how much he could say without violating Harry's privacy, but he needed to tell someone, and he knew Pansy was trustworthy.
"He's, he's involved in some unhealthy stuff. His team, they're all using him, and he has no one looking out for him. And I think he doesn't look out for himself enough because he feels like he doesn't deserve it. But he was doing so much better before I left," Blaise said, "And now, it seems almost worse than before. I don't want the only reason for him to get better to be because of me, but I really felt like it was because he truly wanted it. Now I don't know. I don't know what's going on, or what's changed."
Blaise paused.
"I want to be there for him, but he has to let me. If he's being manipulated, then I can help him. If this is actually what he wants, then I don't know what to do," Blaise said.
"But you feel like it's not?" Pansy checked.
"It wasn't, he was firm on that before I left," Blaise said.
"So, you need to talk to him and figure that out. I agree, you shouldn't be the only reason he... gets better or whatever, but if he does need help... then you're in the best position to do that if he'll let you." Pansy said, "Just make sure it's not hurting you either."
"Thanks Pans. I'm going to talk to him tomorrow night."
Except when he flooed to Harry's apartment the next night, he found it completely full of people. The lights were dimmed, and there was loud music pounding. He quickly scanned the room, looking for the apartment's real occupant.
He spotted the girl, Molly, in one corner with Kristine. He made his way over to them.
"What's going on?" he yelled over the music.
"Oh Blaise! You're here!" Molly threw herself at him for a hug.
"Darla wanted to congratulate Harry for all of his hard work lately, so she threw him a surprise party! Isn't that nice," Kristine said cheerfully.
"Splendid," Blaise said through clenched teeth, "Would you happen to know where Harry is?"
"I've no idea, but you can check his room maybe?" Kristine said before running off with Molly. Blaise cursed. He wanted to leave, but he couldn't until he found Harry. He wanted to make sure he was okay even if he was getting the feeling that Harry again wouldn't be up to much conversation. He was also slightly annoyed that Harry still hadn't responded to his letter, or even sent him a text to warn him about the party. There were a ton of people here, and he was sure they had been here long enough that Harry would have had time to send him a quick warning.
He waded through the crowded room, finally spotting Harry at the kitchen counter just in time to see him bend over and close one nostril while inhaling deeply with the other. Blaise closed his eyes for just a moment as the people around Harry all gave a loud cheer. When Blaise opened his eyes, Harry was wiping his nose and shaking his head, looking completely disoriented. Tyler was there too, which made Blaise's blood boil.
"I told you he's been wild lately," he heard from beside him. He turned to see someone who had immediately climbed to the top of Blaise's most hated list. Darla.
"You threw him this party knowing that he already had plans," Blaise hissed at her, "Tonight's supposed to be his night off!"
"Yeah well, it looks like he's working really hard," Darla said lazily, watching as Harry did a shot with a bunch of people who Blaise didn't know, "Besides, he didn't protest at all."
"Yeah, because I'm sure you made sure was incoherent before it started, has he been sober at all in the past two and a half weeks??" Blaise seethed.
"That's not up to me. He does as he wishes," Darla lied with a smile.
"I need to talk to him," Blaise said, and started making his way over.
"Wait," Darla commanded, grabbing his arm. Blaise wanted to hit her. "I need to talk to you first. You don't belong in his world. You're going to hold him back."
"Hold him back from what?" Blaise asked incredulously.
"You're making him feel guilty for how he likes to live," Darla snapped.
"He doesn't want to live like this!" Blaise argued.
"It's what's best for him, and I'm going to make sure he knows that" Darla threatened.
"And I'm going to make sure he knows that this isn't healthy and it's okay if he wants to stop," Blaise said back.
"Okay, well, we'll see who he listens to more, his boyfriend of one month, or the person who's taken care of him for years," Darla mocked. Blaise hated the manipulative little witch. He knew she was probably in Harry's ear, distorting everything while he was too high to think for himself.
"You're insane," he said. "You're going to kill him."
"Now, let's not be dramatic," Darla said, rolling his eyes.
Blaise pointed to where Harry stood, oblivious, "This path leads to one thing, and you know it."
"And so does he, and he's fine with it!" Darla snapped. Blaise stared at her in horror, realizing how deeply this woman had twisted Harry's already existing doubts and trauma to fit into her little 'career' she'd created for him. "And besides, I'm not going to let that happen. As I said, I'm taking care of him, the way I always have."
"This is not care," Blaise spat, and marched away. He went over to where Harry stood and tapped his shoulder. He turned around slowly and took a long time to process.
"Blaise!" he said excitedly when he finally connected the dots. He threw his arms around Blaise's neck and hugged him tightly.
"Harry, can we talk?" Blaise murmured quietly in his ear. Harry nodded immediately, and Blaise took his hand to take him to his bedroom before anyone could stop them.
There were a few couples in Harry's bedroom, so Blaise kicked them out before shutting and locking the door.
"I'm so glad you're here," Harry said oblivious to Blaise's dark mood.
"What happened to our date tonight?" Blaise asked seriously. Harry stared at him.
"Our date?"
"Yes, our date, I was going to pick you up at seven?" he explained. Harry stared at him some more.
"Oh yeah... um... I'm sorry, I don't know, I forgot, I'm so sorry," he said, eyes suddenly filling with tears, "I don't know how I forgot, I'm sorry."
Blaise hated to see him like this. He was upset, and Blaise could tell it was genuine, but he couldn't believe the apology because he knew Harry was so high.
"Come here love," he said tiredly, "It's okay, we can talk about it tomorrow or something."
He pulled Harry into a tight hug. He just wanted to take him away and never let these people get to him again.
"It's not okay. I'll make it up to you I promise," Harry slurred against his chest.
"We'll talk about it tomorrow," Blaise repeated. He didn't know what to do now. He didn't want to leave Harry alone here, but he didn't really want to stay. He didn't want to take Harry home because he didn't know if Harry would feel safe there, or if he would appreciate that in the morning. He settled for just holding him. In this moment, Harry was safe, and he was okay. At least Blaise could pretend he was.
"I'm tired," Harry mumbled against his chest.
"I know you are," Blaise said, feeling a tear drop out of the corner of his eyes. Harry pulled back and looked up.
"Why are you crying?" he asked in a way that made Blaise feel like he was talking to a small child.
"I'm sad," Blaise told him.
"Why? Because I forgot?" Harry asked anxiously.
"No, I'm worried about you," Blaise said honestly. He didn't know why he bothered to tell Harry, but he couldn't lie.
"Well, I'm okay, I feel really good," Harry said with a loopy smile. Blaise felt a knife in his heart.
"I know you do," he whispered, his voice trembling.
"I don't want you to be sad," Harry told him, and brushed the hair away from his face. As he moved his hand in front of his face, Blaise caught a glimpse of Harry’s wrists. The skin around the bracelets was deep purple, almost black, with redness extending up his forearm.
“Harry, your wrists,” Blaise said. Harry didn’t seem to hear him, and focused on smoothing Blaise’s hair down. Blaise didn't think he could handle being here. Seeing Harry like this, seeing him try to comfort Blaise while he so obviously wasn't even on this planet. It hurt too much. It scared him too much.
Blaise did a quick diagnostic spell on Harry that he had learned after the first night. He wasn't going to overdose which was good.
"Harry, why don't you go to sleep?" Blaise suggested. Harry nodded sleepily and pulled Blaise up onto the bed with him. The pair cuddled, and within minutes Harry was fast asleep on Blaise’s chest.
Blaise waited a few more minutes before he extracted himself. He conjured a bucket and placed it next to Harry. He got a glass of water from the bathroom and placed it on his nightstand. He left a note that read, Text me when you wake up, I had to go -B
He made sure Harry was tucked in and comfortable before heading over to the door. He cast a silencing charm so that Harry wouldn’t be woken by the music. Then he cast a complicated locking spell that his mother had taught him. It would allow Harry to go out, but no one to come in, except in an emergency.
With one last look at his sleeping boyfriend, he left. He snuck out of the party without anyone seeing him. He had tears streaming down his face by the time he made it to his own bed.