Chapter 17
Harry groaned. Loudly. His alarm was going off incessantly and he had an incredibly bad hangover induced headache. He fought back the urge to throw his stomach contents up onto the floor next to his bed as he sat up slowly. He turned his alarm off and stumbled to the bathroom. His head was spinning. He grasped the sink and looked into the mirror to see his bloodshot eyes and haggard appearance. His wrists were absolutely aching, but he didn't want to deal with taking the bracelets off yet. He didn't think he'd be able to stand long enough to take a shower, so he skipped it and decided to try to go back to bed.
When he returned to his bedroom, Darla was there.
"Oh Harry, you look terrible. What happened to keeping it lowkey?" she asked. Harry shook his head and then winced as it felt like a sledgehammer slid around his brain. He couldn't even think clearly enough to figure out an answer to her question.
"I don't know," he croaked. He laid back on the bed and took deep breaths as he tried to keep the world from spinning out of control.
"I'll go get you some tea and some pain killers for your head," Darla sighed. Harry heard her bustling around in the kitchen and she eventually returned.
"I stirred them in for you," she said, handing him some tea. He sipped it slowly as she bustled about his room, cleaning up the clothes that had been tossed everywhere.
As Harry drank, his headache dulled, and his thoughts came a little faster.
"I think," Harry said slowly, "It was more wild last night than I had planned."
"You can say that again," Darla giggled, "There's some pretty 'wild' pictures circulating from last night already."
"Oh?" Harry asked, pit rising in his stomach.
"Nothing too bad though, nothing scandal worthy, people are just happy to see you out and about again," Darla said. Harry nodded, and pushed down his worry of what the pictures were. Along with it, he pushed down his anxiousness about what Blaise would think if he saw them.
"Let's get you dressed, you have to take a couple of photos before you go out again," Darla said, taking his now empty teacup.
"Wait, what time is it?" Harry asked, looking around groggily.
"It's almost five, you didn't get in until 8 am this morning," Darla answered, "Are you feeling better now though?"
Harry nodded, there was actually a pleasant buzz running through his veins now. It wasn't overpowering, but it made him feel good, and all of his earlier worries were gone. He was happy to do as Darla told him as he got dressed and then headed out to the living room to pose for some photographer. From there, he found himself in a car, and then in the club.
He sat around the table doing shots with Molly and Kristine. He smoked a bit with Rob and then found himself next to Tyler who had his arm around him. He ducked out from under his arm and moved to the other side of the table. They played cards, did lines, smoked some more joints and Harry lost track of how many drinks he’d had.
At one point he was dancing with Molly, and then the next, he was being led out of the club and put back in the car. He was laying in someone’s lap. He passed out and woke up in his bed, again horribly hungover and unsure of what time it was.
There was an owl perched on the end of the bed. Harry recognized it as Blaise's owl. He sat up quickly ignoring his headache and untied the letter before he ripped it open.
Dear Harry,
Theo and I made it safely to Japan, and our deals with the vendors there went well. I'm writing this to you just before we portkey over to China for our next meetings. I know it will take several days to reach you, so if you wouldn't mind letting her rest for a day or so before sending her back, that would be great. I attached some owl treats and food for her.
Anyways, Japan has been great. It's beautiful here. Have you ever been? If not, we should go sometime. It's so different from the UK. Theo has been obsessed with the food as well. He's trying to get as many new recipes as he can before we come home.
Other than that, I know I've only been gone a day, so I don't have much else to say, but I wanted to write. How have you been? I know you're going to be working a lot. Are you feeling okay? Are you safe?
With Love,
Blaise
Harry read the letter quickly before hopping out of bed to write his reply. His headache and hangover almost hindered his movements, but he wanted to write down a response before he forgot.
Dear Blaise,
I have been to Japan; I traveled a lot after Nick died. It was beautiful, and I'd love to go again. I'm glad your meetings went well, and I wish you luck on your next visit. I wasn't the biggest fan of Japanese food myself, but I'm glad Theo's enjoying himself.
I'll take care of your owl of course. I miss having an owl around. I used to have Hedwig, but when I went with Nick, I sent her to live with Hagrid, I wonder if she's still there. I haven't thought about her in a long time actually.
Work is... work. It's about the same as it's always been. I've been fine though. I'm taking precautions and yes, I am safe. Darla's watching over me as well, so no need to worry. Have fun on your trip. I'd love to hear about it when you get this.
Love,
Harry.
Harry felt slightly guilty at the reminder of his own owl and set that to the list of things he needed to deal with once he figured out his life. He couldn't bear the thought of going to Hogwarts right now though. Even the thought of the place made his fingers tingle with anxiety and fear.
He also felt a little bit guilty for lying to Blaise about taking precautions. He had intended to, but somewhere along the way he'd ended up as messed up as he used to get.
Harry shook himself out of his thoughts, fed Blaise's owl, and tied the letter to her foot. He rubbed his sore wrists too.
"Stay until you feel rested, there's water in this cup, take a nap or something," Harry instructed and gave her a few pets. Then, he made his way to the kitchen where he found Darla waiting with his tea.
He drank without thinking about it and sighed as the medication buzzed away his headache and his nausea.
"How are you feeling today?" Darla asked, moving to sit on the couch. Harry sat down next to her and closed his eyes.
"I'm okay, but I'd like to stay a bit more... um... sober tonight... if that's possible," he said. He found his thoughts wandering and it was a little bit difficult to concentrate on making his point.
"Well, that's all up to you Harry," Darla said.
"Maybe you should use a little less of whatever you're putting in my tea," Harry said as the meds started kicking into even higher gear, making his brain feel like it was filled with cotton balls.
"Don't you feel better now though Harry? I haven't ever seen you this relaxed," she said, sounding a little faraway. Harry nodded a little bit, agreeing that he'd never even felt this relaxed. Except maybe when he'd been with Blaise. He did miss Blaise.
"Okay, up you go Harry, we need to head out," Darla ordered.
"Already?" Harry complained. He'd just sat down.
"Harry, you've been on the couch for an hour," she said with a smile. Harry blinked slowly.
"Okay."
He got up and sluggishly made his way to his room to get changed. Before he knew it, he was back at the club, Tyler's arm around him again, despite his earlier protests. Or had that been yesterday? Harry blinked and concentrated. That might have been yesterday. How many days had he been out in a row now? He leaned over to Molly.
"Hey, what day is it?" he asked, hating the way his words were slurred.
"I think it's Friday silly," she squealed. Harry shook his head. No. Blaise had left on Monday morning. He'd gone out twice, so it should be Wednesday or Thursday at the latest.
"Haha, Harry, you've been on a five-day bender," Tyler teased, "I'm so happy to have the party animal back. Let's get you another drink."
Harry closed his eyes and tried to focus. The lights and the music made it difficult though, and soon, he found himself being led by Molly back out onto the dance floor where he forgot all of his worries.
Luna looked up as a small brown owl soared through the window. She hopped up, hoping that it was a reply from Harry or his manager. She skipped down to the bottom where it said "From, Remus Lupin." She sighed deeply but sat down to read the lengthy letter anyways. It was good that Remus had replied, but Luna really needed to get in contact with Harry, and he hadn't been answering her letters all week. Since the Dumbledore interview, Luna had gathered an extensive list of questions that she wished to talk to Harry about.
Luna,
I am writing to respond to your inquiry about my relationship and experience with Harry Potter. Before I get into anything, I will tell you that I am a person who values his privacy, so therefore I will not agree to be interviewed. Additionally, I am not in the habit of talking to the press about those that I care about.
However, I do remember teaching you in school and do not believe that you are a malicious reporter. I know the image Harry has, and that makes me wonder what you are hoping to expose about him. I do care for Harry, so I'd like to tell you a few things. If you have questions, you may write but I do not promise to answer your questions.
I have not seen Harry for a very long time. I was close with his parents before they were killed, and I taught him in his third year of school. Then, I stayed close through the next year, though I did not actually see him much, I received numerous letters from him. We wrote about his parents, his life, Quidditch, classes and such. We also had a mutual friend that he was very close to.
He was always a very sweet boy, he was eager to learn, and polite to everyone. He had a kind soul. He was always worried that he wouldn't be able to protect his friends, even from a young age. He had such immense pressure placed on him due to his name and his fame, and he handled it beautifully. I regret that I did not get to see him more.
After he defeated the Dark Lord, Dumbledore took him away, but I was able to visit him once or twice. I'm not entirely sure what was happening as he healed, but he seemed tense. Then, out of respect for his privacy I will be vague, but there was another interaction with Death Eaters. I don't know what happened to cause Dumbledore to allow this to occur. I will say, I have not trusted the man since. He seemed uninterested in helping Harry. Myself, my mutual friend, and a few others created a group to help Harry. We were successful, though our mutual friend unfortunately lost his life. He had been one of my close friends, and I was lost in grief. Harry was taken somewhere to heal, and I tried to heal emotionally. I went to visit him twice, but we reminded each other too much of what we had lost.
I stopped visiting him, and he understood. I think he wanted me to stop anyways. We both needed to heal some more. I had every intention of regaining a friendship with him at a later point, but he disappeared after a time to travel the world. Since then, I haven't seen or heard from him. I know what it looks like in the media, but it's important to know that he has been through a lot. He is a kind soul, as I said before, and I doubt anything could change that. I don't know him anymore, but I know that he is a special person.
That's all I'm willing to say. I will not violate his privacy any more than this. Now I am making a request from you. If you see him, please tell him that'd I'd like to catch up, if he's willing, and if he's not I understand.
Again, if you have any questions, let me know. Be kind to him.
From,
Remus Lupin.
Luna leaned back and pondered the letter. Everyone who she'd spoken to had been quick to say how sweet Harry had been as a boy. None of them quite knew what had happened, but they all knew that he was never the same after Voldemort. Now she had heard the same from Remus.
She knew their mutual friend was Sirius Black, thanks to Ron and Hermione. She found it interesting how everyone who she had interviewed had different respects for Harry's privacy. Molly hadn't told her anything bad, though she didn't seem to know much. Remus had drawn a hardline. Ron and Hermione had told her more, but still gave Harry some privacy. Dumbledore had fully told her that Harry had been captured.
Luna felt like that was incredibly private information because she knew that Harry had been likely hurt or traumatized by the ordeal. He had never mentioned it, and Remus had very clearly kept all of the details to himself. Luna would be asking Harry about it as a reporter, but as a friend, she hoped it wasn't as bad as Dumbledore had made it sound.
Dumbledore was the grandfatherly idol of the wizarding world. He had been headmaster for most of the adults in the country. People still trusted him completely because of his defeat of Grindelwald. People also liked to give him credit for helping Harry destroy Voldemort. People generally thought of Dumbledore as some father figure to Harry, and now Harry as the rebellious child. Now Luna was wondering if that had ever been their dynamic.
It was clear that Harry did not like Dumbledore, and it sounded almost as if Dumbledore didn't trust Harry either. Luna hypothesized that there must have been a major falling out, if the two still felt so strongly all of these years later.
Her background in the Wizarding world told her that Dumbledore was who she should trust and listen to. That Harry was dark and selfish and everything else that Dumbledore had painted him out to be. She really hadn't spent that much time with Harry or anyone who knew him now. Maybe she should schedule interviews with some of his current friends. Maybe they would prove what Dumbledore said to be true.
However, her experiences with Harry made her think otherwise. He was still the sweet boy everyone made him out to be as a child. If he had been captured, and if Dumbledore really had done nothing to help, it made her question everything about the old man.
Luna sighed and put her head down in her hands. This was turning into more of a complicated story than she had bargained for. She prided herself on being unbiased and telling the truth, but she was worried that her personal feelings on the matter were muddying her vision.
She sat up and looked at the calendar. After doing some quick math, she decided that she could afford to give this story a slight break for the next week and revisit it with fresh eyes. She also needed to wait for Harry to respond to her anyway.
Darla smiled as she mixed Harry's daily tea. Every day, she added a little more. Every day Harry protested a little bit less. He was acting like his old self again. His friends from the club had reported that once again he was the life of the party, who didn't say no to anything.
It made her happy to see her client blossoming like this. For a while, he had been so withdrawn from her. His new boyfriend had caused so many problems. Harry had been so sad and talking about quitting this job altogether. It disturbed her and made her frightened for her own career.
Now the boyfriend was gone on a trip and Darla was determined to get Harry's head back in the right place. Which was in the clouds. He was happier when he was high. Everyone was. Not everyone had the moral compass that he had though, which made it difficult. Darla knew if she could just keep him on the mix that she had concocted, he would be hers.
If he got sober, he would go to Blaise, and Darla would end up losing her job. She wasn't stupid. She knew that what she was doing to Harry wasn't healthy and that anyone who actually cared about him would protest. His head was a mess, she knew that. He was about two steps away from needing to be committed to a mental institution. She knew his magic was hurting him because it was so restrained. Physically, she saw how thin he was and how his eyes sunk in sometimes. But it didn't matter, girls went crazy for the edgier look. And whatever they wanted was what they were going to get because it made Darla the most money. Harry was her product. She cared about him deeply, and she didn't want anyone to get in the way of what they could do.
Luckily, he had the habit of shutting out anyone who would actually care. Until now. She'd heard that Harry was even making friends with Blaise’s friends. That had to stop. He needed to break up with the boy. Tyler was a much better option for Harry. He understood what had to be done. He understood the measures that Darla needed to carry out to keep Harry compliant in order for his career to be successful. He helped her all of the time to make sure that Harry was feeling good and not asking too many questions.
"Ah there you are," she said as she noticed Harry stumbling into the kitchen. He looked completely out of it. Darla pushed him his tea, which he took without question.
"Did you ever talk to that healer?" Harry asked quietly.
"Yes, why?" Darla asked. She knew she had done no such thing.
"I'm so tired lately. I feel like I can't think," Harry told her, "Could we get something to fix that? Maybe I need to stop taking-"
"No Harry, you're fine," Darla quickly interrupted, "But if you need to feel more awake, I have some pick-me-up pills with me that you could use when you need to get some work done."
She fished them out of her purse and set them in front of Harry. If he had been more coherent, he would have immediately recognized that they were not prescribed pills. They were bought from Darla's most trusted dealer.
He stared at them briefly and then shrugged.
"In fact, we need to go shopping, so you should take some," Darla encouraged. Harry did as he was told and then got ready to go. By the time they left, Harry was wired. His eyes were manically bright, and his pupils were blown. "Maybe some sunglasses Harry," she suggested lightly.
As they went about their shopping, she made him stop a few times to take pictures with fans. She'd also called the paparazzi to get a picture as he entered the shop that had all of his favorite cigarettes and liquor.
When they were done, he was starting to come down from his buzz a bit, so before he could go too far, she fed him another pill. Then, she decided to test her luck.
"So, Harry, I need to talk to you," she said.
"About what?" he asked.
"Blaise," she said, "I'm worried about your relationship."
"Why?" he asked. She couldn't respond right away because they were stopped by another shopper who asked for an autograph. Once they were clear, she answered.
"I'm worried that it's not fair to him. You're out every night, and he's living a normal life," she said carefully. She had to go slow, or Harry would spook and know what she was up to.
"So, you think I should stop? That's what I've bee-"
"Harry! Let me finish," she reprimanded, "I don't think you'd be happy living a normal life. You have a lot of... well, there's a lot of baggage and I don't know if Blaise is prepared to deal with that. This lifestyle is the only one that you'd be able to cope with on your own without relying on another person."
"Blaise wants me out of this life though, it's not healthy and he wants to help," Harry argued. Darla silently ground her teeth together.
"Is that what he said? How long have you known each other? He might want to help, but he doesn't know you yet. He doesn't know how deep your issues are. They aren't going to go away anytime soon, and I worry that he's going to realize that too late," Darla said, "I can handle you Harry, our team takes care of you and makes you feel good. I just wouldn't want you to get hurt, or for Blaise to get hurt when you both realize that it won't work."
"I don't think-" Harry tried to say weakly.
"Harry, just think about it okay, think about what I said. Think about how normal Blaise's life is, and then think about all of your issues. You don't want that for him, and he can't be what you need," Darla said. Harry didn't argue anymore and sat deep in thought. Darla kept her smile to herself.