Chapter 16
"You look lovely," was the first thing out of Blaise's mouth when Harry opened the door. Blaise had decided to go to his apartment the muggle way instead of coming into the room through his fireplace.
"Thanks... you brought flowers?" Harry asked, looking at the bouquet in Blaise's hand. It wasn't unusual for Blaise to bring Harry one flower, but he had brought the cliche bouquet of roses. It was their one month anniversary, it called for something special.
"I did," Blaise said, handing them to Harry as he walked inside.
"Well, thank you, let me go put these in water before we go," Harry said with a slight flush. Blaise adored how easy it was for him to fluster his boyfriend, "You look amazing too, by the way."
After their date a few days ago, they had decided that they were going to celebrate their anniversary more formally before Blaise had to leave on his trip. They were both in muggle dress attire, as they were going to go to a fancy muggle restaurant.
"Well thank you Harry," Blaise said with a smile. When Harry had the flowers in the water he extended his arm and asked, "Ready?"
Harry nodded and took his arm, and the two walked out of the apartment over to the lifts. They were planning on walking as the place was just right around the corner. They exchanged comfortable small talk on the short walk, Blaise talked about his potions shop and Harry told him how Pansy had demanded to come over to his apartment the previous day.
"She brought Millie along too, and they just stayed the whole day," Harry said in dismay, "They wouldn't stop talking about my windows. And then, they went through my closet and demanded that we all go shopping some time."
Blaise chuckled, "That does sound like them."
"They're great though," Harry nodded.
"I'm glad you're getting along with everyone," Blaise said fondly, "I wasn't worried though."
"I was," Harry admitted, "I'm always worried about meeting people and if they'll give me a chance or if I'll mess something up."
"Well, you don't have to worry about them, they love you," Blaise said, and then before he could second guess himself, "And I love you."
Harry stopped walking to stare at Blaise, "Really?"
"Yes Harry, I love you." Blaise said firmly. He could see the shock in Harry's eyes, and he didn't want to give him any room to doubt him, "You don't have to say it back but I want you to know."
Harry shook his head, "I... I'm."
"It's okay Harry," Blaise said.
"No, I need to say it back because I love you too," Harry said and then took a breath, "I love you."
This time it was Blaise's turn to be speechless. He had loved Harry since they started dating, but he didn't expect Harry to return his feelings so soon.
"Blaise?" Harry asked, "Are you alright?"
Blaise blinked several times, "You love me?"
"Yes, what's wrong?" Harry asked. Blaise realized that Harry looked extremely concerned and anxious.
"Nothing, I was just," Blaise stopped with a laugh, "You just surprised me, that's all."
"You said it first, that's why I was so surprised," Harry said defensively, "I don't know why you would have thought I wouldn’t say it back."
Blaise shook his head and smiled before he drew Harry in for a kiss. He held him gently, and the kiss was soft. They broke apart after a short time and finished walking to the restaurant.
The restaurant was dark, lit with candles and low lighting. The waitress led them to a secluded corner. Blaise ordered them a bottle of wine to start off with and the pair looked at the menu and ordered their food quickly.
"So when did you know?" Blaise asked. Harry blushed again. Blaise's heart fluttered.
"Probably too early," Harry admitted, scratching the back of his neck.
"I knew from the time that you sprayed water all over me," Blaise told him.
"You splashed me first if I recall," Harry teased, "And yeah I think I started to feel it then, but I wasn't sure because I've never felt this way before. I was sure as soon as I knew that I could trust you enough to tell you well... everything."
Blaise nodded, "Just so you know, I've never felt this way for anyone either. I haven't dated many people, and the ones that I did never lasted very long."
The waitress brought their food over so their conversation fell into silence for a little while as they ate. Blaise had ordered a steak while Harry had some sort of pasta and chicken dish.
"So what day do you leave again?" Harry asked.
"I leave not tomorrow, we'll need to be packing, but the next morning super early," Blaise said, "We have to catch a portkey at 3:30 am, which should be super fun to wake up for."
"That sounds awful," Harry sympathized, "Where are you going first?"
"We're going to start over in Japan, and work our way back to the west from there," Blaise answered, "Do you have any plans for the two weeks?"
Harry sighed and looked down at his food. Blaise felt slight concern well up in his stomach. "I, well, I got into a fight with Darla earlier this week, and basically she told me I need to start going out again and it's non negotiable. So I suppose I'll be working mostly."
Blaise put down his fork, "How do you feel about that?"
"Honestly, I don't love it, but I was able to get her to agree to just the two weeks and then after that I can work on negotiating a better schedule for me where I can be healthier. And I've set up a meeting with a different management company after that so I can talk to them and see what some of my options are. So it really should be okay after this," Harry explained, "It's just two weeks, and I used to do it for months on end without a single day off."
"Are you going to be going all in? Or are you just going to kind of show up and leave?" Blaise asked carefully. He wasn't going to tell Harry what to do, but he wasn't sure that Harry always made the best decisions regarding his own health and welfare in the past.
"I told her I was going to be basically sober. So that should help a lot," Harry told him. Blaise's nerves eased slightly at that.
"That's good, I just want to make sure you're safe. We'll write, and I have my phone now, though you said it wouldn't work in other countries?" Blaise asked.
"Yeah, the service might be weird. If you can get connected to Wifi that would help, but with the time differences and without anyone who really knows how to help you with it, I don't think we'll be able to call or text too much," Harry said, "I'll be okay though. I'm going to try to spend a lot of time trying to figure out what I want so that I'm prepared for the meeting."
"That's a good idea," Blaise nodded, and resumed eating. Their conversation dissolved back into small talk and lighter topics. They finished the first bottle of wine and declined ordering another when the waitress offered. When they were done, Blaise paid, ignoring Harry's protests, and they left the restaurant. They walked hand in hand back to Harry’s apartment, and their conversation became littered with increasingly dirty jokes and heated comments. The wine had both of them feeling warm.
They entered the lift and as soon as the doors closed, Blaise pushed Harry up on the wall. Their kiss was intense. Blaise felt Harry’s hands grasping at his hair and he lodged a knee between Harry’s thighs.
Blaise barely even heard the doors open until Harry broke away and gasped, “Blaise the doors.” Sheepishly Blaise pulled away and led Harry down the hall to his room. The pair shrugged off their coats and toed off their shoes at the door. Then, like little kids, they chased each other down the hallway to Harry’s bedroom. Just before Harry opened the door, Blaise caught him around the waist.
“Wait,” he said and then kissed Harry once, “We need to decide where the line is while we can both think.”
Harry looked up at him firmly, “I want you. All of you.”
Blaise was taken aback by the confidence and trust that he saw behind the green eyes looking up at him, “Like…”
“All of the way, if that’s okay with you,” Harry said, and then leaned in to give Blaise a gentle peck of a kiss while he waited for Blaise’s answer.
“It is, of course, er, which way do you want to do this?” Blaise asked, “I can bottom if that would be easier for you.”
Harry shook his head, “Honestly, that’s- I don’t think I can do that yet, but maybe the other way?”
Blaise nodded and took Harry’s face very gently in his hands to kiss him again. He reached behind Harry and twisted open the door, and then slowly walked Harry backwards into the room, never breaking the kiss.
Blaise felt Harry’s hands unbuttoning his shirt, so he helped him shrug it off before doing the same to Harry. They ran their hands over each other, exploring this new territory. Blaise felt the ridges of Harry’s scars that he had covered under his tattoos.
He eventually pushed Harry down onto the bed behind them and crawled up as Harry scooted up the bed. Harry reached for him as soon as he was settled. Soon, they were grinding against each other like teenagers.
“May I?” Blaise said huskily as he reached down to the button of Harry’s pants. Harry nodded quickly and Blaise set to work at unclothing the rest of his boyfriend. He checked with his eyes before he removed Harry’s boxers, and when they were off, he paused to marvel over Harry’s form. His eyes raked from the top of Harry’s head to his feet. Harry was thin, yes, but had fine lines of lean muscle. His tattoos complimented him. He seemed small laying here on the bed, flushed like this, and it excited Blaise.
“Hey, this isn’t fair,” Harry complained, and sat up to reach for Blaise’s own pants. Soon enough, they were both bare, and intertwined together on the bed. Harry groaned when Blaise bit his neck softly. Blaise was on a very dedicated mission to leave marks from Harry’s jaw all of the way down to his groin.
“Blaise, please,” Harry begged, arching up.
“Patience love,” Blaise soothed as he continued his journey downwards.
By the time he finished, Harry was writhing and moaning, and was littered with red marks that were slowly turning dark. Blaise’s heart swelled at the sight, knowing that he had left them there.
He swooped down and engulfed Harry’s erection in his mouth, and Harry yelled out in surprise and pleasure. Blaise teased Harry for a while, and when he felt him getting close, he pulled off. Harry moaned in disappointment.
“Ready love?” Blaise asked, as he cast a lubrication spell on his fingers. After Harry’s dazed nod, he reached down to Harry’s entrance and traced it softly before pushing one finger in. Harry tensed.
“Relax baby, I’ll go slow,” Blaise soothed, rubbing his free hand on Harry’s thigh for comfort. Harry let out a deep breath and nodded. Blaise continued, and when Harry loosened, he added a second finger. From there, he was able to get deeper and explore. He was looking for that sweet spot that would make Harry see stars.
He found it, and Harry moaned loudly, “Oh!”
Blaise grinned and began to add a third finger while he stimulated Harry’s prostate.
“Please, I’m ready, I need you,” Harry begged, hands grasping the bedsheets.
Blaise nodded, “Okay love.” He murmured another lubricating spell on his length and lined himself up. He very slowly began to push himself in. He stopped when he was about halfway because he noticed that Harry had his eyes squeezed shut.
“Baby? Alright?” he asked, voice tight because of the way Harry felt around him.
“Yes- it’s good, just a second,” Harry said. Blaise kissed his forehead and waited for Harry to adjust. At his nod, Blaise continued and stopped when he was completely inside.
“You’re so - ah, big,” Harry said between gasps of air as he forced himself to relax.
“Is it okay? We can stop,” Blaise said carefully. Harry shook his head.
“No, it feels good, it’s just new,” Harry explained, “You can move.”
Blaise started a slow rhythm, going in and out, relishing in the drag of Harry’s body against his. Harry was letting out breathy little moans beneath him, but he wanted more, so he began to search for the angle that would hit Harry’s spot.
He tried several before Harry’s eyes rolled back.
“Feel good baby?” Blaise asked.
“Blaise! Right there, please!” he moaned. Blaise began hitting his spot relentlessly, and Harry’s arms came up to cling onto Blaise’s shoulders. Blaise adjusted Harry’s legs to wrap around his waist so that he would have more leverage.
Soon, the pair was rocking back and forth, Harry raising his hips to meet Blaise’s thrusts.
“You feel amazing Harry,” Blaise moaned out, “So good for me.”
“So good- ah, so please Blaise,” Harry rambled. Blaise reached down in between them to grasp Harry’s cock and pull him off in time with his thrust.
“Close - please,” Harry moaned. Blaise felt himself approaching the edge as well but he was determined for Harry to get there first. It didn’t take long before Harry’s mouth opened in a silent cry as the explosive pleasure overtook him. The feel of Harry’s body squeezing around him sent Blaise over the edge as well. His vision went white and it was all he could do not to collapse on Harry. When he came down, he pulled out gently and rolled over to lay next to Harry. He pulled Harry in close to him, not caring about the mess on his stomach. Harry was trembling slightly from the aftershocks, so Blaise pulled the blanket up over them.
“I love you,” Blaise murmured into Harry’s hair. Harry nuzzled Blaise’s neck and pushed himself even closer.
“I love you too,” Harry whispered.
“How’re you feeling?” Blaise asked quietly.
“So good, that was amazing,” Harry told him, and shivered again. Blaise ran a hand through Harry’s hair. “Was it okay for you?”
“Harry, that was incredible,” Blaise said honestly. He had never been with someone he loved before and he was shocked by how noticeable the difference was. He noticed that they were getting sticky so he cast a cleaning spell.
“‘M tired,” Harry whispered against his skin.
“Sleep then,” Blaise encouraged.
“You’ll stay?” Harry asked.
“Of course, I’ll see you in the morning,” Blaise promised.
“Good night.”
“Good night Harry.”
Luna groaned as her alarm went off. It was still dark, but she had a lot to do today. She made her way downstairs to see that Neville had already made her a cup of coffee and was sitting reading the newspaper.
"Good morning love," he greeted and she bent to give him a kiss on the cheek.
"Thanks for the coffee," she said and sat next to him. She pulled over the stack of newspapers that she had delivered every day to keep up with what everyone else was writing. It was her morning routine to flip through all of them and make sure she hadn't missed anything interesting.
She was in the middle of a gossip magazine when she spotted the name "Harry Potter". She immediately zeroed in on the short blurb underneath a recent picture of Harry at a charity event.
Harry Potter, pictured above, was seen at a charity gala for ...
Luna skipped the long descriptions of the event that she did not care to know about.
Lately the wizard has been seen out less and less, and is dressing more conservatively as well. There has been a notable lack of scandals surrounding the young man. Is the wild Harry Potter finally settling down? Or has some lucky witch caught his eye and caused him to behave? Either way this author is mourning the loss of our favorite party boy. What do you readers think? Send in an owl to...
"What's got you looking so puzzled?" Neville asked.
"Just this article on Harry, it seems he hasn't been going out as much lately," Luna said.
"Well that's good isn't it? It didn't seem very healthy before," Neville commented.
"Yes it is good, but I think I'm going to need to have another chat with him because I wasn't aware that anything had changed," Luna said, "It must be his new boyfriend."
"He told you he didn't want you to write about that though right?" Neville checked.
"He did, and I won't but I can write about lifestyle changes, if he's having them. That would help to give me some direction for this story," Luna noted.
Suddenly a letter appeared in the middle of the table. Neville stood abruptly and quickly cast a diagnostic spell.
"Is it clean?" Luna asked. She didn't get hate mail very often but once in a while an angry reader would send her a letter cursed with a small hex. Neville nodded and Luna very slowly reached out to open the letter.
Miss Lovegood-Longbottom,
I have received your request for an interview and I must say that I do not normally grant such requests. However, it has come to my attention that the Quibbler is of the more reputable sort of newspaper, and I am curious as to what you would like to know. If you wouldn't mind, you could visit Hogwarts today, at any time that works for you. The password to my office is 'SugarPlum'.
Albus Dumbledore.
"Who is it from?" Neville asked patiently. Luna blinked.
"It's Dumbledore. He agreed to be interviewed," she said, shocked, "I really didn't expect him to agree. He's notorious for ignoring reporters."
"Wow, that's really special," Neville said, "When does he want to meet?"
"Today, oh merlin, I need to prepare notes and questions for him," Luna said. She hurried up the stairs to her office. She frantically worked through her notes all morning and prepared a list of questions. Then she got ready for the day and ran back downstairs with her work bag.
"Here, I made you a quick lunch before you go," Neville said, sliding a plate onto the table. Luna looked at him gratefully as she had forgotten to eat breakfast that morning.
She scarfed down the sandwich and a glass of water before she stood up to leave.
"Alright love, you've got this, good luck," Neville said and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"Thank you, I'm nervous but it's okay," Luna admitted as she hurried to the front door.
"Don't be nervous, you're amazing," Neville said, "See you later."
"Bye! I love you!" Luna called as she headed out of the door and down to the apparition point.
She apparated into Hogsmeade and made her way up to the castle gate. The gates opened for her and she made her way across the castle grounds. She looked up in awe at the giant castle that she had spent her education in. She never got used to the sight after having been away for so long. She passed the lake and Hagrid's hut. She made her way to the Entrance hall and passed the Great Hall where there were students at the end of their lunch period. She walked to the entrance to the headmaster's office and spoke the password.
She stepped onto the spiral staircase and made her way up as it rose and rotated. She knocked on the door when she reached the top.
"Come in, Miss Lovegood," she heard the old familiar voice. She gently pushed open the door and was greeted with the sight of Dumbledore's office. She had only seen it once or twice throughout her time at Hogwarts.
Albus Dumbledore was seated at his desk looking the same as he had when she was in school.
"Welcome, you may take a seat," he said quietly in the grandfatherly way that she remembered clearly.
"Thank you so much for agreeing to this Professor Dumbledore." she said as she sat down and pulled out her notepad.
"Of course, you may call me Albus, you aren't a student here any more," he said, "Now what can I do for you?"
"Well, as I said, I'm writing an in-depth story on Harry Potter. He hasn't ever agreed to one before, so I can really go in any direction that I'd like to. Right now, I'm trying to gather as much information about him and his life as possible. It was very widely known that the two of you were close for a time, I was hoping you could tell me more about that," Luna explained.
"Ah, yes," Albus paused for a long moment, "Where would you like me to start?"
"Well, would you say that you had a closer relationship to him than the rest of your students?" Luna asked.
Albus nodded slowly, "Yes, he... he was in a unique situation with what had happened to him and the danger that he was still in. I knew that Voldemort would return, so I kept a close eye on Harry."
"And how would you describe him when he was young?" Luna prodded.
"He was a very polite and eager boy when he was young," Albus said, "Always a true Gryffindor as well. Very brave and noble, especially when his friends needed help."
"Can you tell me about the events surrounding Voldemort's rebirth and his final defeat?" Luna said.
"Now, a lot of that is rather confidential and not quite my story to tell. All I can say is that unfortunately young Harry was placed in the middle of it, and he did well. However, events like that always take their toll," Albus said sadly.
"What do you mean?"
"It changed him. He was never the same afterwards. He lost his innocence in a way. He became more... temperamental, and defiant," Albus explained, "I tried to help him, counsel him, heal what I could, but he no longer wanted my help. He stormed out, and told me to lift my protection on him. I knew he wasn't ready to be out in the world, I begged him to stay but eventually I had no choice but to do as he wished."
"What happened then?" Luna asked.
"I believe he was captured by Death Eaters, he managed to escape, but I haven't seen him since," Albus said.
“He was captured? For how long?” Luna asked, this was new information.
“I’m unsure. I don’t know the details about how it happened or how he escaped. All I know is that his godfather was killed, and I imagine Harry has a hard time forgiving himself for it.” Dumbledore said. Luna did not miss how Dumbledore firmly placed the blame for the death on Harry.
Luna nodded and jotted down a few notes while she weighed her next words carefully. "Have you... have you reached out to him since he's been back?"
Dumbledore sighed and folded his hands in his lap. "I have debated doing that many times. I fear the boy may not be willing to listen or accept my help if I did reach out to him. He's living a life centered around himself, and he will push away anyone from his old life."
"Do you think he needs help?"
"He needs help. But he won't accept it. It's a shame, and it's selfish. Unfortunately, I've done everything I can," Dumbledore said gravely.
"What's selfish about it?" Luna asked. Sure, from the outside it did seem like Harry didn't pay much attention to anyone but himself, but it wasn't like he had anyone else to pay attention to. He didn't have anyone that was much affected by his choices.
Dumbledore leaned forward, "Harry has a tremendous amount of power. With that power comes responsibility to the rest of the Wizarding World. He's wasting his power, he's not keeping it well trained, and other people can see that. People who might take advantage of his absence can see that."
"What do you mean?" Luna asked carefully, looking up at the headmaster.
"Lord Voldemort may have been defeated, but there will always be people who subscribe to his ideology. He still has supporters. There have been whispers and rumors of gatherings of these people and plans to try to rise to power again," Dumbledore said, "Harry's behavior is largely to blame for that."
Luna paused for several seconds to digest what she had heard, "So you're saying that it's Harry's fault that the supporters of the man he defeated at fourteen years old want to try again?"
"They feel comfortable. There's no one to stop them," Dumbledore reiterated.
"Why should that burden fall on Harry? What about you? Or the aurors? That's their job," Luna pointed out, feeling like she strongly disagreed with the narrative Dumbledore was trying to push.
Dumbledore shook his head, "I am quite old, and nowhere near as capable as I once was. Harry holds even more power than I, if he should choose to wield it correctly. The aurors... they try their best, but we always need someone of great power to protect us from the true evils."
"Shouldn't people protect themselves? What if Harry had never come back, or had not survived his battle with Voldemort?" Luna challenged.
"That is not what happened though. The point is that Harry is back, and he is not acting like the Gryffindor we once knew," Dumbledore said, voice hard. Luna had never heard him speak in this tone before. His normally twinkling eyes were piercing blue and cold. "I fear that the dark might be in his heart, and that he is too far gone to be saved. He knows what he is doing is wrong. I theorize that is why he has not come to see me, or his old friends. He is ashamed of his actions, but he continues anyway."
"Interesting," Luna noted, "How big of a threat do you think these... rumors are?"
"It's hard to say, but there have been attacks on muggles again, the Ministry is keeping it quiet," Dumbledore explained, "The light needs to be united, that much is clear. I'm not even sure if Harry would place himself on the side of the light anymore. He... made it clear the last time we spoke that he wanted nothing to do with me or my people any longer."
"And if he just wants nothing to do with any of it anymore?"
"There is darkness in allowing people to be hurt when you could do something to help them." Dumbledore said simply.
"Even if it comes at the risk of his own life?" Luna asked. Dumbledore shrugged. Luna felt slightly sick to her stomach, and decided she'd had enough of this conversation. Luna nodded as she looked over her notes.
"Well, I think that's all of the questions I have. Is there anything that you feel is important to add?" Luna asked.
"If you talk to him about this, please let him know my door is always open to talk. And, if he tries to spin any stories, well, please give this old man the benefit of the doubt," Dumbledore said, the grandfatherly tone back in place again. Luna nodded and packed up her belongings.
"Thank you for your time, sir," she said before she left. Dumbledore inclined his head slightly. Luna turned and left. She had a lot of thinking to do. She also needed to pay Harry another visit.