Chapter 13
Harry wasn’t able to get through everything without crying. As he told Blaise what had happened, Blaise held him and stroked his hair, wiping his tears when he had needed too. Harry didn’t go in depth with every single thing that had occurred, but he told Blaise the general overview of what Bellatrix had done to him.
“Merlin Harry,” Blaise said when he was done, “How do you even recover from something like that?”
Harry shook his head and laughed darkly, “I don’t think you do. I was a wreck for a long time afterwards. Any noise or unexpected movement sent me into a panic attack. They still do sometimes. Don’t even get me started on other people touching me. For a long time, I didn’t know what was real, and what had just been hallucinations. Water was a really big problem. Even now I can’t really do more than a quick shower.”
“You don’t go swimming?” Blaise asked. Harry shook his head, feeling his heartbeat speed up at just the thought, “What about the rain?”
“It’s okay, if I have an umbrella or if it’s just quick,” Harry explained, “Mostly it’s just the dreams now though.”
“Do you have them often?” Blaise asked gently.
“Everytime I go to bed sober,” Harry admitted quietly, “But anyways, after I woke up, it took me a long time to get back to being a functioning human being. Plus dealing with the fact that Sirius had died took a long time.”
“How was staying with the Flamels?” Blaise asked.
“They were incredible. They nursed me back to health, physically, and mentally as well as they could. Then Nick tried to teach me as much as he could. We hunted down the remaining horcruxes together. He was never like a father to me, but he was like a really cool, really old uncle. He showed me my full potential, and taught me how to really use my magic the way it was meant to be used.”
“How long were you with him?” Blaise asked.
“Three and a half years. It took me almost a full year to recover from the torture. Then he ran out of the Elixir of Life and he died, along with his wife, shortly after you all graduated,” Harry said sadly, “We knew it was coming though, so I was prepared. Then I traveled around the world for a year. And then I knew it was finally time to come back and decide what to do with my life.”
He took a deep breath before going into the next part of his story, “I got back and I went to Gringotts first to find out what the situation was, and I found out that Dumbledore had spent my entire trust fund, and had laid claim to the Potter and Black vaults that I had inherited. I was allowed to contest that, but I had absolutely no money other than what the Flamels left me, which was a lot, but I know they intended it to go to charities and research so I didn’t want to use it more than I needed to.”
“So then I found out that Dumbledore had been making money off of my name and my face by selling things and endorsing businesses and people and what not because he was still trying to play my magical guardian even though I was of age. I was furious, so I contacted a law firm that dealt with celebrities and such, and they hooked me up with a team. They got me the rights back to my name, and suggested I start doing my own brand deals and endorsements to make some money. Dumbledore tried to fight it, so I started… gaining a reputation, so that he would want nothing to do with me and would leave me alone. I never reached out to my friends because they were still so closely connected to him.” Harry explained, “I never, ever want to be in a position where he can tell me what to do again.”
Harry was trembling when he finished. He was sure it was part of the trauma, but it was mostly intense anger and fear. He wasn’t happy to admit to himself that the old man scared him almost as much as the Death Eaters and Voldemort had. He wasn’t used to talking about it, or even thinking about it.
“Anyways, I’ve never told anyone all of that. But yeah, I guess, that’s how I ended up here,” Harry sighed and closed his eyes, exhausted from last night and all of the talking. He leaned his head on Blaise’s shoulder, “Sorry for unloading all of that on you.”
“Harry, you don’t need to apologize. Honestly, I don’t know how you held onto all of that by yourself for all of these years. I’m… I’m a bit speechless, to be honest,” Blaise said, “I know that you’ve put a lot of trust into me, and I thank you for that. Is there anything I can do to help now that I know?”
“You just being here helps a lot,” Harry said quietly, “You feel safe.”
He felt completely vulnerable because of what he had shared. He was almost waiting for Blaise to stand up and leave, and leave him here completely alone like everyone else had done.
“I’m glad, thank you for letting me be there for you,” Blaise murmured, and gave him a kiss on the top of his head, “How are you feeling now?”
“Physically, or…?”
“Both.”
Harry stretched a little, “I’m tired, I still have a headache but it’s better, and…I’m kind of drained, but I feel lighter than I have in a long time. How are you feeling physically, and mentally? I know last night probably wasn’t the best for you.”
“You’re right. I was mostly just really worried about you, and I was angry at your friends for letting it happen, and now, to be honest, it’s a lot to take in, but even though I’m angry and sad for you, I’m just really grateful that you made it through all of that, and I’m amazed that you managed to still be as wonderful as you are,” Blaise said. Harry blushed. “How about we take a little nap, and then maybe we can discuss what we should do moving forward?”
Harry nodded and yawned. The two maneuvered to lay on the couch together. Blaise flicked his wand and a blanket came flying to them, and the curtains went down so the sun wasn’t coming in quite so brightly. Harry rested his head on Blaise’s chest. The two fell asleep quickly.
Blaise woke to see two bright emerald eyes looking up at him.
“Good morning,” he joked.
“Afternoon, actually,” Harry corrected with a smile. The pair was still curled together cozily on Harry’s couch.
“Oh is it? What time?” Blaise wondered.
“A little past one, we slept for a long time,” Harry said, “I woke up a few minutes ago.”
Blaise meant to reply but his stomach rumbled. Harry laughed.
“Let me order food, are you thinking of breakfast or lunch?” Harry asked. The pair debated for a few minutes before they decided on ordering sandwiches from a muggle sub sandwich shop. Harry got up to make more tea. Blaise watched lazily from the couch.
He couldn’t believe that the man who was standing in front of him had gone through so much and somehow survived. Blaise had wanted to rescue Harry from his tough environment before he had even known the full story. Now, after hearing how much he had suffered, he just wanted to take Harry away and shower him with all of the love, affection, and safety he had missed out on during his entire life.
He watched Harry open one of the cabinets that contained his painkillers. He let out a breath as Harry opted for the normal drugstore ones, and not the possibly illegal ones that his manager had found him. Blaise stood.
“You still have a headache?” he asked. Harry had a lot of headaches. Blaise wanted to encourage him to see a doctor, but he didn’t want to push.
“Yeah, but honestly it’s not bad, these should do the trick,” Harry said, throwing them back. As he did, Blaise noticed that his wrists were slightly bruised again.
“Do you think the bracelets could be causing the headaches?” Blaise suggested, the idea suddenly coming to him, “You don’t really use a lot of magic, and you keep it bottled up a lot of the time.”
Harry looked at him thoughtfully, “I’ve never thought of that. I don’t use a lot of magic because there isn’t really a need to, and honestly it's been unstable lately.”
“What do you mean unstable?” Blaise inquired.
“It’s just very touchy. Anytime it’s not being contained with the bracelets, it acts on any strong emotion, and sometimes even when I am using it, it’s so much stronger than I need,” Harry explained.
“Maybe it’s tired of being held back. Like a little kid who needs to get outside and play,” Blaise compared.
“Maybe,” Harry said, grabbing the tea kettle, “I’d probably need an open field or something though, I’m not sure where I could even go to let it all out.”
“We can try to figure that out soon though?” Blaise asked.
“Yeah, I think it’s a good idea,” Harry nodded.
“It might help with your sleep too,” Blaise added on.
“I hope so, I’d do anything at this point to be able to sleep without taking anything,” Harry said walking around the corner, “Even without last night happening, I’m so tired of going out. I hate the crowds and the loud music. And most of the people there. It didn't bother me so much before, but since I met you, I’ve just realized how… shallow and fake it all is. You’ve reminded me what life is supposed to be like I guess.”
Blaise tucked Harry under his arm and kissed his forehead, “What do you want to do with that whole crowd? What can you do as far as your career goes?”
“I know I need to stop going out. Or at least take a break. I don’t like that the only positive thing about it is the drugs. I’ll talk to Darla and tell her it's interfering with my health, which is true. Then I should have sometime to just figure out what it is I want to do from here I guess,” Harry said, “I’ve honestly not thought about my future in so long. I’ve just been going along with whatever they want me to do for years.”
“It’s your life to live,” Blaise reminded, “You should take the time to figure out what you want.”
Harry looked up at him, “I know one thing I want,” he said shyly in a way that made Blaise’s heart flutter.
“What’s that?” Blaise asked.
Harry blushed. Blaise loved that blush. “You.”
“Well lucky for you, I want you too,” Blaise responded, “Harry, would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”
“For real? Like a relationship?” Harry asked. Blaise nodded. Harry broke into the most adorable grin. He nodded excitedly.
“Yes I will,” he decided. And then he frowned and looked down.
“What’s wrong?” Blaise asked in concern.
“I don’t know how to be in a relationship, I’ve never had a boyfriend before,” Harry admitted worriedly. Blaise tilted his chin up.
“It’s me Harry,” he said, “I know you, nothing really needs to change from what we’ve been doing. We’ll still communicate about everything. It’s just more official now. But that’s good.”
“Okay,” Harry whispered.
“Okay.” Blaise agreed.
“Can I get a kiss from my boyfriend?” Harry asked, still whispering.
“You may,” Blaise said, and leaned down. Their lips met and moved together perfectly. Blaise turned Harry so his back was against the countertop. He reached one hand to cup Harry’s face and one hand to rest on his waist. He felt Harry’s hand go to the nape of his neck and his hair, pulling him close.
When they broke apart for just a few seconds for air, Harry whispered, “Thank you, thank you for everything.”
“Anything and everything for you my dear,” Blaise murmured back before claiming Harry’s lips again. He tried to convey how very much he cared for the shorter man through the kiss. He pressed Harry’s lips open a bit with his own, and traced his tongue teasingly against Harry’s lower lip. He felt Harry’s own meet his tentatively.
Eventually Harry needed to breathe again, and Blaise reattached his mouth to Harry’s jaw and moved down to his neck, kissing and sucking lightly. He delighted in Harry’s little gasps and breathy moans as he hit the sensitive spots. Quickly, Harry tugged his hair back up so that they could meet lips again.
They made out until their food arrived, and when they broke apart, Blaise had to take a moment to compose himself at the sight of Harry’s flushed face and swollen lips. Harry gave him a shy smile that just about melted his heart and made him want to devour him again. He restrained himself, and the two sat down to eat.
Luna flipped through her notes again, feeling her frustration rise. She had gathered a great deal of information, but it had left her with more questions and more holes in her story than she had started with. She couldn’t write a story with this. Or she could, but it wouldn’t be of the quality that she normally produced. The only thing that would be of any interest is that Harry was just… nicer and perhaps smarter than everyone had thought.
She looked over her page of notes from her visit with Ron and Hermione. The visit had gone about as she had expected. She had more insight from his Hogwarts years, but they hadn’t had anything new besides the revelation of Sirius Black’s innocence. That certainly should be a story that she worked on next, but she wasn’t sure that it belonged in this one.
She needed more. She needed Harry to be more honest with her about his past. She ignored the slight pit in her stomach when she thought about trying to uncover secrets that Harry so obviously wanted hidden. It would have been easier if he was the arrogant and wealthy man that he made himself out to be. It was much more difficult to pry into the secrets of someone who was nothing but quiet and kind.
“Luna, are you home?” she heard Neville call from downstairs. He had been out gathering supplies for his garden.
“Yes love, I’m in my study,” she called back. He entered the room a few moments later and placed a kiss on the top of her head.
“How’s it going?” Neville asked, surveying her spread of notes.
Luna sighed and shook her head, “I don’t know what I’m doing with this.”
Neville sat in the armchair on the wall, “Talk it through with me.”
Luna smiled. Neville helped her by listening to her thoughts, while not giving much of his own opinion. This was a very common occurrence for them, “Well, I just… Harry has secrets, that much is obvious, but the only thing I’ve been able to dig up is that his secrets run far deeper and probably darker than anyone would have expected. And I feel like I shouldn’t expose them.”
“Why not?”
“He’s been nothing but kind to me. He’s a good person, I think. I think he’s faced a lot of pain that he isn’t telling me about, and he doesn’t deserve for it to be exposed, because it would hurt him more,” Luna explained, “I’m only guessing though.”
“But what about your story?”
Luna sighed and looked back at her notes, “The easier route would be to try to make Harry look… well not good. To further his image, and to give the public someone to nag on. But as I’ve said, I don’t feel good about that. I’m almost wondering if I could turn this around and uncover his true personality. To show that he’s misunderstood. But to do that I need more from him, and I need to find out what he’s hiding. I would need to figure out who the villain of the story is going to be, if it’s not going to be him.”
“So do that,” Neville said, “It seems clear to me which one you think you should do.”
“I know which one I should do, but I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if Harry wants me to do it. And if he won’t let me, then I’ll either need to take my first angle, or scrap the story altogether,” Luna said.
“Maybe talk to him?”
“I’m worried that if I talk to him, he won’t agree, and then I’ll be forced to compromise my writing integrity or my moral compass,” Luna said.
“Take some time, is there a reason to rush the story?” Neville asked.
“Not right now, but anything could happen, I don’t want to sit on this for too long,” Luna said.
“Continue working on it then, and wait just a bit to talk to Harry, until you know for sure what you want to do,” Neville suggested, “Do you have more avenues of research you can pursue?”
“Yes, I’ve sent letters to Dumbledore, Ron’s mother, some of the Quidditch team that he played with, and Remus Lupin,” Luna said, “I should be hearing back from them soon. I also am writing letters to some of the friends that I met.”
“So you just need to wait for the responses, until then, take a break,” Neville said, “Why don’t we make dinner and have a nice night.”
Luna looked at him and raised her eyebrow. He grinned in a way that made her stomach flutter.
“A nice night?” she asked, her face heating as he stood over her. He placed a gentle hand in her hair.
“Yes I think so,” he said, and gave her a small kiss, “I’ll start dinner.”
Luna smiled as she gathered her papers to put them away. She pushed the story to the back of her mind for the night.