Chapter 14
Blaise straightened his tie in the mirror.
“Looking good there mate,” Theo called from his doorway, “Where are you off to?”
“Harry has a work party, he asked me to come,” Blaise answered, “He said it would be boring, a charity gala or something.”
That wasn’t strictly true, Harry had mentioned it and Blaise had offered to come to keep him company. Harry had agreed gratefully.
“Sounds romantic. Pansy and Millie are coming over later, I think Seamus might come along as well,” Theo said, “Feel free to bring Harry if you’d like.”
Blaise nodded. He wasn’t sure if Harry would want to or if Harry had other plans afterwards, but he would invite him. He hoped Harry didn’t plan to go out afterwards.
The past week he knew that Harry hadn’t gone out clubbing at all, and Blaise was proud. He knew Harry was trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life and his career, like they had talked about. Harry had told Darla he was going to be taking a short break from the partying, and while she hadn’t been happy, she couldn’t argue with Harry’s concerns about his health. Blaise knew that she was nagging him already, but Harry was holding strong.
Blaise was trying to eat at least one meal a day with Harry to try to keep an eye on him. Depending on Blaise’s work, they would quickly grab lunch some days, and others they would be able to spend almost half a day together and make dinner. They didn’t talk much about anything serious, like Harry’s past or his magic, but Blaise thought it was important to make Harry smile. They laughed and talked about meaningless things. Harry seemed lighter for it. Blaise almost wanted to steal him away from his life, and bring him into his own. He knew that Harry longed for stability and safety, like Blaise had with his friends.
Blaise flicked his wand to check the time and decided that he should head over to the venue that the event was at. He headed to the floo and spoke the address. He arrived in a large room that had white carpet, white walls, and white colored tables. The tables were decorated with wine glasses and roses. The people were dressed similarly to Blaise, all black tie and formal. The ladies were in extravagant dresses of dark colors. Overall, it was very formal, but very bland.
He scanned the room for his boyfriend. He smiled at himself, as he did everytime he called Harry his boyfriend.
He spotted him about two-thirds of the way through the room, standing at a table with his manager and a few other people that Blaise didn’t recognize. Blaise made his way over.
Darla spotted him first, and Blaise saw her mouth tighten.
“Ah, here’s Harry’s guest, Blaise Zabini, Harry and he are good friends,” Darla introduced, “Harry thought that Mr. Zabini might be interested in attending tonight because of his work in potions and how it would relate to the work that…”
Darla rambled on about the event’s organization, and the charity that they were supporting. It had something to do with research into the medical field and Blaise supposed that it probably did have connections to his work, if only loosely.
Harry gave him a small smile as Blaise took his place next to him. They were keeping their relationship under wraps so they would have to keep affection to a minimum.
“Mr. Zabini, you run the potions shop with Mr. Nott correct? Just off of Diagon?” one of the men asked.
“I do, yes,” Blaise answered.
“You make a fabulous hangover cure, I’ve used it quite a few times,” the man chortled, raising his glass. His friends chuckled around him, “I’m sure Mr. Potter could attest.”
Harry gave his usual fake smile, “I prefer to tough out the hangover, makes me more cautious when I have to face the consequences the next morning.”
“Smart lad, doesn’t stop you from much though does it? Suppose you’re still young,” another man teased. Harry continued to smile in that fake way that Blaise hated while the others laughed at his expense.
“He does give you quite the run around doesn’t he?” one of the men asked Darla. Darla laid a hand on Harry’s arm and smiled like one would to a young and feisty toddler.
“Oh, he does, but he’s a sweetheart, really,” she cooed.
“Must be why he has all of the witches falling at his feet,” the man said, this time more bite to his voice.
“Oh, Gerald, don’t be jealous now, you have your beautiful wife, Anna? I haven’t been able to steal her away from you yet,” Harry said, winking at the blonde woman on Gerald’s arm. Blaise felt like Harry’s voice lacked its usual life and playfulness.
“And you will not,” Gerald said, puffing his chest.
“Now now, he’s only playing,” Anna said soothingly, “I do have a friend though, Adeline, she’s single now Harry, if you’d like to try.”
“I just might,” Harry said. Blaise decided that his voice was definitely flat. Not enough that any of these people would be able to tell but enough that Blaise felt suspicious. He glanced down to Harry’s wrists and felt his heart tighten up when he saw a familiar bracelet peaking out.
Harry saw him look down, and quickly pulled the sleeve down as casually as he could. Blaise looked at him in question, but Harry couldn’t answer in front of everyone. Blaise did catch his eye though and was saddened to see that they looked slightly dull and foggy.
“Well, it’s been lovely catching up with you but I do think I see Healer Abott over there, have a nice night,” the man who seemed to be leading the group said. The group all bid their goodbyes and then only Harry, Blaise, and Darla were left at the table.
“How are you?” Blaise asked Harry.
“I’m alright,” Harry said looking down, “Erm, had a bit of a headache earlier.”
“Yes, a right horrible one at that, but no worries, I fixed him up in time to get here,” Darla chimed in.
“What did you take?” Blaise asked quietly.
“Just a few pain meds,” Harry explained, blinking slowly. Now that the others had left, it was much more obvious that Harry wasn’t sober at all.
“I made him take a bit more, his tolerance is going up you see,” Darla said, “Nothing to worry about though.”
“No, just having him show up high to work, nothing to worry about,” Blaise snapped at Darla.
“It’s none of your business,” Darla hissed back at him, “You come into his life and now we’re having all of these problems.”
“He’s been having problems that you’ve been causing him,” Blaise hissed right back.
“Hey, hey, stop,” Harry interrupted, looking between them, eyes lagging slightly, “It’s okay, I don’t want to fight right now.”
“Right, I agree,” Darla said, “Harry, would you like to get a drink?”
“No.”
“He shouldn’t mix alcohol anyways,” Blaise added. Harry nodded gratefully. Blaise didn’t want Harry to feel like he was trying to babysit him, but he also wanted to stand up for him.
Darla sighed, “Well I’m going to get one.”
The couple watched her leave.
“Are you alright though?” Blaise asked, watching Harry carefully.
“Yeah, honestly it’s not bad. My headache was pretty horrible earlier, and now everything’s just a bit fuzzy. Shouldn’t last too long though, just enough to get through this,” Harry explained. Blaise was happy that his words were pretty clear even if they were a bit slow. No one else would even be able to notice.
“Speaking of, when we’re done here, Theo invited us over to our place to hang out tonight with a few friends. I wondered if you wanted to come?” Blaise asked. Harry thought for a moment.
“Yeah, that sounds nice,” he answered and then took a long pause where Blaise could see him struggling to think, “Can we wait until this wears off though?”
Blaise nodded, “So what do you normally do at these things?”
Harry sighed, “What you just saw, over and over, with whoever Darla wants me to. There will be a speech at some point, and then we can leave.”
“What’s the point of all of that?”
“I think me being here makes these people feel more important. Normally, it’s something that I’ve done some photoshoot with to promote it, but I guess you could look at it like I’m part of the entertainment,” Harry explained, “It’s not hard because no one expects me to know anything about what they’re celebrating anyways.”
“Does that bother you? That they expect so little of you?” Blaise enquired.
“It probably should, but it just means less work for me,” Harry said with a shrug.
Darla returned with a drink for herself just as the light dimmed and a group of people took the stage. They droned on and on, using fancy language and making endless introductions. They concluded with thanking just about everyone who was there individually. When they thanked Harry for his support he just politely nodded his head as the room applauded fiercely.
When they were done, the lights came back on.
“How long?” Harry asked Darla.
“At least 20 minutes, and then I’ll call your car,” Darla said.
“That won’t be necessary,” Harry said.
“Harry, you have an image to maintain,” she reprimanded.
“Darla, I told you I was taking a break,” Harry said with an edge in his voice. Blaise could tell his sobriety was returning.
“I’m just looking out for you Harry,” Darla said softly.
Harry sighed, “I know.”
After that, Darla dragged them into more conversations and photos. It made Blaise’s skin crawl. Finally, she gave them the all clear to leave.
“You good?” Blaise checked with Harry.
“Yeah I’m ready,” Harry said, eyes clear.
“You know my address?” Blaise said, and then gave it to him anyway.
They flooed through the fireplace at the end. They were greeted with the sight of Theo, Millie, Pansy, and Seamus sitting around the small table in the living room. Their conversation abruptly stopped at the sight of the couple.
"Hi Harry, nice to see you again," Theo broke the awkward silence.
Harry smiled softly, "Hey Theo."
"I'll get you both something to drink," Theo decided, and left before they could argue.
"Everyone, this is Harry, my boyfriend," Blaise introduced, "Harry, well, you know everyone, but these are my friends."
"Hello everyone," Harry said very politely. Blaise led him over to the couch where there were two free spots. Harry sat very delicately on the edge of the couch. Blaise restrained his urge to tell him to relax. He didn't need to be so nervous around his friends.
"What're you playing?" Blaise asked, noticing the muggle cards laying on the table. Pansy had an obsession with muggle card games. She launched into a description of a game that Blaise had never heard of.
"Here, I'll deal you two in," Pansy said, "Have you ever played Harry?"
Harry nodded, "I've played once or twice, normally I just watch."
"No one watches here, you have to play," she instructed. Harry nodded slowly. Blaise noticed him picking at his fingers discreetly.
"Here you go," Theo announced dramatically, handing them each a drink. Blaise took a swig before setting his down on the table. Firewhiskey. Of course. Harry took a polite sip as well.
The game began, and Blaise struggled to follow along with the rules at first, but he eventually caught on. Harry needed no time to learn, he was a natural, even though he claimed to have barely ever played. Soon enough, it was Harry and Pansy vying for the win. Pansy teased as she always did, treating Harry as someone she had known forever. Harry didn't tease back, but he took the insults and jibes with a smile and occasionally a laugh. Blaise was glad to see Harry slowly relax throughout the game. He was also glad to see that though Harry was sipping on his drink, he wasn't going fast like Blaise had observed at the club.
"Beat that Golden Boy," Pansy jeered on the last round. The rest of the room had given up and were lounging back, observing the pair. Harry looked down at his cards for a long moment, his face unreadable to even Blaise. He looked up at a triumphant Pansy, and a small grin slowly appeared on his face.
"Okay." he said simply, and laid down his hand. Pansy leaned over quickly to examine the cards.
"No!" she exclaimed, "How did you even- that's-"
"This has got to be the first time Pansy's lost in months," Theo observed, "Sucks to suck." Pansy glowered at Theo and then turned to Harry.
"Good game," she said.
"That's not fair, when I beat you, I got hexed," Theo whined.
"Because you cheated," Pansy said, gathering the cards to shuffle them again. Harry leaned back on the couch next to Blaise.
"Congrats," Blaise murmured as Theo and Pansy bickered.
"Thanks," Harry said, "They're fun." Blaise nodded.
"I think we should play exploding snap now," suggested Seamus.
"You always want to play that," Millie complained. Harry snorted quietly next to Blaise.
"He always had a thing for pyrotechnics," Harry explained when everyone looked at him.
"He still does, just the other week he blew up my sink," Theo complained.
"Oi, I can't help it," Seamus defended.
"Didn't you go to school?" Pansy quipped, "Where they teach you how to control yourself?"
"He was too busy with other activities," Theo teased, "Underneath the Quidditch stands and in broom closets I think."
"We don't need to talk about that," Seamus muttered with a smile.
"What about the time he got caught by Filch with that Brown girl on the Astronomy tower," Millie remembered, "Gryffendor lost so many points for that."
"The Astronomy tower's a classic, that's not just me," Seamus pointed out.
"That is true, I remember a few times-" Theo said,
"-We don't need to get into that," Pansy interrupted with a slight blush.
"Oh no, do go on," Seamus smirked, leaning forward.
"I will hex you," Pansy warned with a growl.
"Seamus, you didn't win this fight last time," Blaise warned with a laugh.
"Harry, you'll back me up this time, right? Fellow Gryffindor?" Seamus asked. Harry tensed next to Blaise but he answered naturally.
"I don't know mate, not against Pansy," Harry said, shaking his head good-naturedly.
"See, even Harry knows you should shut up," Pansy said triumphantly.
"Never," Seamus declared. That earned him a hex from Pansy's wand that he dodged, "You missed."
"Next time I won't," Pansy growled.
"Okay kids, that's enough of that, how about another game?" Millie broke in.
The group agreed, and played another round. This time Pansy won, but only just. Harry came close to beating her but was missing one card.
"I win!" Pansy said cheerfully, "Sorry Harry, I guess you're not the best at everything."
Blaise glared at her but Harry only smiled and said, "I'm not the best at most things, but I'll practice my card skills to keep you on your toes."
"I look forward to it," Pansy said.
"Exploding Snap. Now." Seamus demanded. He got up to search for the cards on the side table next to the couch.
"More drinks, anyone?" Theo offered. Harry shook his head, along with Blaise, but Seamus and Millie both requested another. Theo came back with the orders.
"Oh! Harry! Look at this!" Seamus exclaimed. He grabbed a magazine that was resting on the table next to the cards, "It's you." Blaise leaned forward to see.
Sure enough, Harry was on the cover of the Wizarding magazine.
"Oh you look fabulous." Pansy said breathlessly. Blaise felt two warring emotions. He wanted to hex Pansy for ogling his boyfriend but he also agreed with her. Harry looked incredible on the cover. He was wearing a white t-shirt that was wet and clinging to his form. His hair was dripping as he emerged from some sort of body of water. There was a wind blowing through his hair. His eyes were lined with dark makeup, making him incredibly intense. He looked like power. His facial expression along with the editing made Blaise feel like it was almost a completely different person. Harry was always gorgeous, but he just didn't act like that. That was a character, and Blaise preferred Harry as he was.
"Oh Merlin." Harry covered his face as it turned red, "That's so embarrassing."
"Oh my gosh no, that's so cool," Millie disagreed, "I would love to be on a magazine cover."
"It's a lot less glamorous than it seems," Harry said, pointedly not looking at the cover. Blaise signaled with his eyes to Seamus to put the photo away. Seamus obliged and grabbed the Exploding Snap cards.
"I think you've got like the coolest life though," Millie continued. Harry was tense next to Blaise again. "It just looks like so much fun."
Harry just shrugged, "It's supposed to look that way I think. It makes everyone want it."
"Are you saying it's not?" Pansy inquired. Harry hesitated.
"There's fun parts, I think it's just a little misleading. And I don't know, maybe other people would have a different experience than I would," Harry explained.
"Every job has good and bad things," Blaise added. He subtly reached out to grab Harry's hand and gently rub his thumb over the top. He felt Harry relax minutely, but not enough to satisfy him.
"You know, I always thought you'd go to the Aurors when you came back," Seamus commented.
"It's not really the place for me," Harry said quietly.
"You're Harry Potter, I can't think of anyone more suited to be an Auror." Seamus said, oblivious to Harry's discomfort around the topic. Harry shifted nervously.
"I don't like the fighting," Harry admitted.
"But you're good at it right?" Millie asked. Harry sighed.
"I suppose I was, it's been a long time though, I'm not sure where I'm at anymore," he said. Blaise squeezed his hand.
"We should duel sometime," Seamus said eagerly.
"Maybe," Harry said.
"Seamus, maybe stick to Exploding snap," Blaise broke in, trying to change the subject when he saw that Seamus was not going to drop it.
"Right," Seamus said, and went about setting up the game. Harry declined to play, so Blaise sat back with him to watch. He noticed Harry flinching ever so slightly everytime a bang went off, but Blaise didn't think it would be noticeable to anyone else.
The pair ended up almost cuddling on the couch by the end of the game.
"Okay one more and then I have to go home, it's late," Mille announced.
The group agreed. Blaise felt reluctant to let Harry go home.
"If you want to, you're welcome to stay the night," Blaise said softly. Harry nodded.
"I'd like that," he said softly.
When the game came to a close, they bid Seamus and Millie goodbye, and Blaise led Harry down the hall to his room. Blaise stood somewhat nervously as Harry surveyed his room.
"So, you can have the bed if you want, I can sleep on the couch if it would make you more comfortable," he explained.
"You know, maybe, maybe I should go," Harry said suddenly.
"Wait, what?" Blaise asked.
"It's just, I have nightmares, when I sleep sober, and I don't want to wake you up," Harry explained awkwardly. Blaise felt his heart break a little bit when he noticed the dread in his eyes.
"You can stay Harry," Blaise said softly, "I can put up a silencing charm on the room if you think it's necessary, but I don't mind."
"Are you sure?" Harry asked. Blaise nodded and headed over to the couch.
"You don't... you don't need to sleep on the couch," Harry said softly.
"Are you sure? I don't want to-"
"It's okay, I promise," Harry said. Blaise realized they were both still wearing their nice attire from the event.
"Here, let me get you something more comfortable to wear," he dug around in his closet for a t-shirt and sweatpants, as well as shorts if Harry preferred that.
"I'm going to use the bathroom, it's just down the hall, you can put on whichever you want," Blaise told him, and then left the room to give him more privacy.
When he returned, Harry was in his shirt and shorts, both of which were too big on him. As Harry walked past him to use the bathroom, Blaise tamped down on his slightly possessive satisfaction at seeing Harry in his clothes.
He climbed into bed, making sure to leave more than half of it to Harry so that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable. After a few minutes Harry returned and climbed into his half of the bed.
“Are you going to wear those to sleep?” Blaise asked, gesturing at his wrists. Harry looked down.
“Oh um, I do sometimes,” he answered.
“You should take them off,” Blaise suggested, “It's probably healthier, and more comfortable.”
Harry nodded. He looked at his wrists like they were going to bite him and didn’t move.
“Does it hurt when you take them off?” Blaise asked. He shifted closer to Harry.
“A bit yeah, but it should be too bad today,” Harry answered. He took a deep breath. He reached around his left wrist and pressed the clasp. He hissed and Blaise could feel a very tangible sense of magic enter the room before Harry reigned it back in. Blaise looked and saw Harry had his jaw clenched tightly and he was breathing very slowly.
“Alright?” He asked. He reached out and very gently put a hand on Harry’s back.
“Give me a second,” Harry said, closing his eyes and gripping the blanket, “Ok.”
He reached and did his other wrist, and the same thing happened again. Blaise rubbed his back soothingly as Harry fully shuddered this time. Harry opened his eyes and let out a breath.
“That doesn’t look fun,” Blaise commented.
Harry laughed once, “That was nothing.”
“Well then that’s all the more reason you should try not to wear them.” Blaise said with alarming concern.
Harry looked at him, “I’m okay, it doesn’t happen a lot.”
Then he yawned.
“Ready for bed?” Blaise asked. Harry nodded.
Blaise flicked off of the lights with his wand and scooted back over to his side of the bed.
"Goodnight Harry."
"Goodnight Blaise."
Blaise tried to fall asleep but he could feel Harry next to him forcing himself to lie unnaturally still. If Harry thought he was going to keep himself awake all night to prevent himself from waking Blaise with his nightmares, he was wrong.
"Harry, relax, you can fall asleep," Blaise murmured softly.
"I don't want to wake you," Harry protested. Blaise rolled over to be closer to Harry.
"You didn't have any nightmares when we napped together," he said. He felt Harry shrug in the darkness. "Come here."
He reached out a hand for Harry, and tugged the smaller man into his arms. Harry was as stiff as a rod.
"Relax love," Blaise soothed, running a hand through his hair, "I've got you. You don't need substances to sleep without dreams."
Slowly, Harry relaxed against him, and nuzzled his face into Blaise's neck. Blaise felt beyond comfortable holding the other man close to him, and felt immense pride when he realized that Harry had in fact fallen asleep. Blaise followed soon after with a smile on his face.