The Beginning
After running at the barrier, which was bloody scary but he wasn't about to admit that to his mother who was lightly shaky next to him, he found himself on a giant platform full of people in weird dress robes he saw his father wear sometimes, while others where in ordinary clothes like him and his mum. The giant red train blew a loud whistle sending a big cloud of smoke plummeting up into the air.
Looking around he was amazed at everything. Remus’ excitement bubbling up alongside the nerves that settled deep in the pit of his stomach. His Fathers words harshly ingrained into the forefront of his mind “If anyone found out about your infliction Remus, they’d have your pelt made into a rug that collects dust in the corner of a room, forgotten and unloved”. Remus shivered just thinking of that.
The fall moon was in a week. The heavy iron tang of blood was strong in the air and he could feel the power of all of these witches and wizards' magic swirling around him in a playful dance, making his head feel light and airy.
Remus had never been around the wizarding world that much, especially after he was bitten. His father was considerably absent throughout his childhood (he had his own flat in the wizarding world closer to the Ministry. He said he did this so he didn’t have to travel far but Remus knew it was so he could have another woman over without his mum knowing. He hadn’t quite plucked up the courage needed to tell her that yet, knowing it would break their marriage. He wasn't quite ready to let go of that) this meant that Remus didn’t have a very advanced knowledge on the wizarding world, growing up around muggles with his mum, going to a muggle primary school in South London and learning things the muggle way.
Giving his mum a kiss on the cheek and a big squeeze, Remus hesitantly made his way onto the train, finding an empty car and hoping that he could keep it all to himself for the duration of the train ride. In truth Remus was shitting himself inside, the nerves in his stomach lurched causing him to gag. Trying not to throw up from how scared he was he bent forward placing his head on his knees, his hands covered over his head, he swayed himself slightly. Groaning internally.
The door to his car opened suddenly and someone rushed forward to press themselves against the glass as the train started to pull out of the station. Remus could smell the salt from their tears and struggled to fight off his own, the last thing he needed was to be labeled a baby for crying.
“Are you ok?” the person - a girl - asked clearly just noticing him. Finally looking up he was met with a girl with kind, trusting, green eyes, shimmering with tears looking at him from the seat opposite. She had fiery red hair pulled into a ponytail at the base of her neck that fell over her right shoulder. The young girl wore a green (the same green as her eyes Remus observed) floral summer dress that fell just above her knees. She was very pretty, Remus thought to himself.
“I like your dress. It matches your eyes”
“Oh, thank you,” she replied. “I’m Lily by the way. Lily Evans” she had more of a common accent like him, Remus noted. Not posh like he feared every one would sound like. Remus decided that he liked her. She was nice.
“Remus, Remus lupin. It’s nice to meet you” Remus replied with a polite smile, a bit tight at the edges, borderlining on forced. “ Are you a first year as well?” he asked, extending a hand for her to shake.
“Yes, I am,” she said, taking his hand. “It’s awful isn’t it?” Lilly asked, at Remus’ slightly puzzled look she elaborated. “Saying goodbye, I mean, to our families.” She let out a sniff as her eyes filled with tears again, glazing over with sadness.
Remus panicked a bit. He wasn't good with tears. He desperately needed her not to burst out crying again, Remus didn’t think that he could handle his own emotions if she started bawling. “Yeah, I suppose,” Remus said, feigning casualty. He was not about to start crying in front of a girl just because she shed a few tears. “What house do you think you’ll be in?” Remus was grasping at straws to get her to calm her down.
“House? Oh… I don’t know. I came from a non magical household so this is all new, I don’t really know the difference between the houses to be completely frank with you.” She stopped crying to Remus’ relief. “ My friend, Severus, thinks he’ll be placed in Slytherin. That's the green one right? I wouldn’t mind being placed with him.”
“Oh your muggle born?” Remus asked. “That's fantastic, I was worried I would be the only first year that knew anything about muggles.” Remus broke into a genuine smile. “My dad is pureblood, making me a halfblood, but I grew up with my muggle mum going to muggle school, muggle friends, etcetera.”
Lily looked put out, “ why are you talking like there is this massive divide between who came from where?”
“Cos there is, I think it’s all stupid. But pureblood families make it a big deal. Treating anyone ‘lower’ than them in blood purity like dog shit in the bottom of their shoe” Remus echoed his mother's words. “If you know what's good for you, you’ll keep the fact that you came from a muggle family on the downlow. That is unless you want a target on your back.” Remus informed her, as politely as he could.
“Well I think that that’s a load of rubbish,” Lilly said with a determined edge in her voice. “I will not hide who I am because of a load of classes shit”
Remus laughed, he actually laughed, he didn’t remember the last time he laughed. “God I love you” , he remarked, wiping a stray tear from his eye. “You’d fit right in at the Gryffindor table, that's the red one, you're well brave.” The pair settled into a comfortable silence as the train chugged along, making small talk every now and then.
The door of the car opened again, a boy with black hair that curled around his ears poked his head inside. Remus struggled to contain his look of disgust threatening to display on his face, the boy looked to have covered his hair in oven grease, the stench of BO hit Remus’ face hard. He held back a gag. This was the most revolting boy he had ever seen.
Clearly Remus didn’t school his facial expression as well as he thought he did as the boy gave him an equally dirty look. Remus took a disliking to him at once.
Lily didn’t seem to share the same level of disgust as she jumped up immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Sev” she exclaimed with an excited squeal. “Where have you been!?”
“I was in a car up towards the front with some friends, come sit with us”
“Oh ok, want to come, Remus?”
“There is not that much space” The boy, Severus, drawled.
“I’m fine here thank you Lily” His voice was polite, directed at Lily, while shooting the dirtiest look he could muster towards the grease ball in the doorway.
Lily left with Severus, she shot Remus a disapproving look that was so powerful that it almost made him feel bad.
Remus slouched back down in his seat again,happy to be alone but sad he’d already messed up a friendship. His left hand fingered the smooth tin in his pocket. He could do for a smoke and hoped the train ride wouldn’t be too long. He could always open one of the small windows and have a cigarette in the car, however that was a sure way of getting a detention on the first day as well as a letter home (now was not the time for them to find out about that particular habit). Remus decided against one.
The car door slammed open once again and another boy rushed in closing it behind him, pulling down the blinds and crouching on the floor with his back to the door.
This boy had long black hair, like Severus, however his fell to his shoulders instead of around his ears. Where Severus’ had hair that shone with grease, this boy’s hair shone clean and healthy. Severus’ bone shape was sluggish and ugly this boys were sharp and beautiful. He had high cheekbones and almond shaped eyes, so blue they almost looked gray. They could easily portray every emotion that he was feeling. He was the prettiest boy Remus had ever seen.
“Hello,” the boy said from his seat on the ground. His voice was posh, posher than Remus had ever heard before. It was insufferable in the best way possible.
“Hi,” Remus replied awkwardly. “Why are you on the ground?”
“I had to get away from my cousins”
“Why?”
The boy shrugged, getting up from the ground and plopping down in the seat opposite Remus, The one Lily was occupying about 10 minutes previously. He slouched, copying Remus’ demeanor even though it looked unnatural, like he’d never not sat up straight in his life. “Why are you alone?”
“Because I'm Friends with everyone on this train,” Remus replied sarcastically. “Like obviously I don’t know anyone.”
“Ok, Merlin, no need to be rude”
“Sorry, I’m Remus by the way”
“It’s nice to meet you Remus, I'm Sirius”
They got chatting. Remus liked him although he did seem to be a bit full of himself. Remus was happy not being alone anymore.
The car door opened again and a boy with tanned skin and a shock of messy brown hair on his head poked his head in. “Afternoon lads, do you mind if me and my friend, Peter sit here? Everywhere else is full.” The boy said, pushing his crooked glasses up onto his nose. His voice was like Sirius’. Totally insufferable and full of himself.
“Of course,” Sirius chimed in. “It’s ok right Remus?”
Remus just shrugged in return as the two boys shuffled in and closed the door. Remus noticed as Sirius sat up straighter, no longer slouching as the other boys took their seats. “I’m Sirus Black by the way, and this is Remus-”
Sirius looked at him expectantly. “Lupin”
“Nice to meet you, I’m James Potter and this is Peter Pettigrew.” His head nodded to the pudgy boy with sandy blond hair opposite him. Peter gave a small, awkward wave in return. “You all first years as well?” there was collective nodding. “Nice, I think that i’ll be in Gryffindor, everyone in my family has been for years. Peter thinks he might be put in Hufflepuff. Where do you think you’ll be placed?”
“Dunno,” Remus replied, “my dad was in Ravenclaw and I like to read so I suppose that.”
Sirius had gone quiet, he was looking much smaller and younger than he had only moments ago. When the 3 other boys looked towards him all he did was shrug. In the short time Remus had known him, this was very much un Sirius-like. Remus made a silent decision to figure out what had triggered this change in personality.
They changed into the school robes and chatted idly (well Sirius and James mostly, Remus chimed in and out, not entirely paying attention as they talked of wizarding things he didn’t understand. Peter stayed quiet. Remus hadn’t heard him speak yet.) as the journey to Hogwarts progressed.
His belly did knots and jumps as the train started to slow, announcing their arrival. He looked to the other boys to see their reaction. Peter looked happier, James looked like a toddler with a lollipop and Sirius also seemed to perk up. He had been in a slight mood ever since they talked about the housing ceremony.
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They followed a giant man ,with so much hair you could barely see his face, down to the lake. Getting into tiny rowing boats that sailed easily through the black water up towards the castle. Lights shone from the windows in the dusk lighting. It looked magical, it was magical, Remus thought.
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The group of first years gathered together as they were led by a very stern looking witch with a severe bun beneath her pointed hat up a flight of old stone stairs and through a set of double doors into a huge hall.
There were four long tables in the middle of a room that left a walkway down the center towards another table at the end of the hall. On this table sat a line of teachers, in the middle was a weird looking man in fancy robes and half moon glasses. His magic was strong, Remus wished for a taste of it. This close to the full moon the stench of so much power was abundant, It made his mouth salivate. The other four tables were filled with older students wearing identical robes to them, save for their ties which matched the banners they sat beneath. The Magic vibrated beneath Remus' feet.
Remus marveled as he walked down the center, looking up. He could see the night sky clearly, but he couldn’t feel the bite of the wind. The hall was lit with hundreds of floating candles placed at different heights around the ceiling. Well at least where there should have been a ceiling Remus thought to himself. Looking at the other first years he noticed that Lily and another girl with dark skin and fluffy afro, were the only other people to pay it any mind.
They stopped at the front and the stern looking witch, Mrs McGonagall, moved to stand next to a stall. She lifted the crusty looking hat off of it and read out the first name off of her list. A weedy boy with freckles and ginger hair walked up the stairs and sat on the stall. Remus could practically taste the fear radiating off of him. The hat was placed on his head and it slipped down past his nose. Remus desperately hoped it didn’t smell as bad as it looked.
The boy was sorted into Hufflepuff and was welcomed warmly by his other housemates. Other first years were called up and sorted into their respected houses. Sirius was the first from their group to be called up to be housed, although he had moved away from them once they left the train. Remus felt slightly rejected, like Sirius was embarrassed to be associated with them. Sirius looked small and meek as he made his way nervously up the stairs to the stool. The hat was placed on his head. After 5 minutes Sirius looked although he was going to faint, the teachers looked slightly worried as well. For the other first years the hat had only been on their heads for 2 minutes maximum before shouting out the correct house.
The hat boomed out Gryffindor for sirius. He all but ripped the hat off of his head, not waiting for Mcgonigal to remove it before making his way down towards the Gryffindor table. Remus thought he saw Sirius quickly wipe his eyes, no doubt removing the tears that welled there before anyone could get a glimpse.
He sat down at the gryffindor table, head bowed. The older students sitting around him didn’t cheer or congratulate him on his placement. The whole hall seemed to be stunned into silence. Sirius seemed content in not meeting anyones eyes.
Mrs Mcgonigal took a moment to get over her blatant surprise before she resumed reading out her list.
Lily was sorted into Gryffindor as well, she shot a wink to Remus as she made her way to her seat, much to Snape’s dismay, who shot him a look that could cut glass.
By the time that it came to Remus’ sorting he was one of 8 left waiting. His nerves were getting to him. He severely regretted not having a smoke earlier, now, consequences be damned. He could really do for one. Shuddering as he made his way up the stairs, he took deep breaths. He was nervous. He didn’t exactly know what the hat did or how it sorted you.
He took a seat on the stool and the hat was lowered down onto his face. He was pleasantly surprised that the hat did not smell at all. As the hat covered both his eyes and ears he was left in an eerie silence, cut off from the rest of the great hall. He jumped rather violently as the cool voice of the hat transported into his head.
“Hmmmm” the hat hummed inside his head. “What do we have here? You’ve got a good brain on you I’ll give you that, just like you father.” Remus flinched at the mention of his dad. The hat noticed. ”Bad blood i see, well i wouldn't want to place you somewhere where you’ll be miserable do i?” Remus shook his head. “So not Ravenclaw then. Shame you would have gone far there.” Remus could feel the hat poking deeper in his head. “Ah lycanthropy, that’s new. Don’t worry sweet child, it is not on my agender to have you killed, quite the opposite in fact. You are going to go incredibly far, your kind will thank you Remus. You’ll need pushing and you must remain brave and for that I’ll place you in”
“Gryffindor”
Remus sat down next to a rather miserable looking Sirius, who still refused to look up, hair covering his face.
Peter was sorted next from their group. His sorting took a while as well, almost 11 minutes, before promptly sorting him into Gryffindor. He all but skipped down the stairs and sat happily down opposite sirius.
James was called up next, and unlike the others, the hat barely grazed his messy hair before shouting out Gryffindor. He took his seat next to Peter, grinning ear to ear like a Cheshire cat.
“See Lily, I told you you’d be good in Gryffindor.” Remus said to Lily where she sat a little further up the bench with two other girls. One was the black girl he saw earlier who was intrigued by the ceiling, the other was a girl who had blue eyes and a large mass of curly blond hair pulled back into a ponytail. The two girls were complete opposites, the blond was a tomboy and had some mud on her face, the other girl had some light makeup on, butterfly clips in her hair and dangly earrings hanging down in her hair. They were both strikingly beautiful in different ways. Despite their physical differences the girls were chatting a mile a minute to each other.
Lily gave him a smile in return. “Yeah, I suppose you were right. It’s a shame not being in the same house as Sev though”
Remus just nodded in return, he didn’t think it was appropriate to say he thought it was excellent that she was away from such a gross boy.
“How are you pulling girls already Lupin?” James asked, leaning over the table , resting his chin on both hands and fluttering his eyelashes at him.
“Piss off Potter” Remus said in a jokingly light tone. However James looked shocked at the use of language.
“I thought you said you didn’t know anyone?” Sirius piped in, looking up for the first time since he was housed in Gryffindor.
“I don’t, she sat with me before Mr Grease overthere at the Slytherin table came to rescue her from my bad influence” Remus said, lowering his voice so that Lily couldn’t hear.
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The food appeared before the conversation carried on. The platters that were empty moments ago were now filled with food. Carrots and potatoes, all kinds of meat, cauliflower cheese, big jugs of gravy with ladles. There was too much to put a name to all of it and Remus was too hungry to care that the food appeared out of thin air, before he started filling his plate. Everyone around him is doing the same.
He was on his second helping of shortbread with sprinkles on top when Mcgonigal, now his head of house, walked over and dropped a letter in front of him. The other boys gave him questioning looks, he just shrugged before opening the note. “It says she wants to see me in her office before lights out tonight”
“Do you have any idea why?” James asked. Remus shook his head although he did. The fall moon was in a week and Mcgonigal no doubt wanted to talk to him about what is happening on full moons.
The first years lined up behind a 6th year prefect, Frank Longbottom. He gave them all maps and led the way towards the Gryffindor tower. Remus followed along on his map and made mental notes along the way. He hated getting lost.
Frank pointed out Mcgonigal's office as they passed. Remus stopped, he supposed he should get this meeting over and done with. He knocked on the door.
“Enter”