Chapter 4
LILY - SEPTEMBER 1st 1971
Lily walked cautiously through the train, squishing past crowds of children running in and out of compartments. Lily was scared. She knew no one. Well, except Severus, of course.
But Severus told her that everyone knew one another. No one was like her, everyone had magic in their blood. Lily knew she was different for being a muggle-born. Everyone would feel connected at this school, but Lily would always be on the edges.
"Lily" She heard a cold voice say behind her. The ginger haired girl turned around to see Severus standing at the door of a compartment with 3 boys seated in it.
These boys looked mean. Lily didn't like them. But if Severus was with them, that must mean they were okay to be around, right?
"Come sit" Severus reached for her arm and pulled her inside. The boys all stopped to look at her.
"This is Wilkes, Avery, and Mulciber" Severus told Lily, pointing to the boys.
"Er, hello" Lily waved awkwardly, "I'm Lily Evans."
"Evans?" One of the boys said "I haven't heard that name before."
"I'm muggle-born" Lily replied. She was met with complete and utter silence. All three boys gave each other knowing glances.
"Lily is my friend. She is not like them." Severus told the boys. The other boys continued to glare at Lily.
"Sure, Snape" Another boy spat, "Just because you're in love with her doesn't mean she's not filthy."
Lily's heart stopped. She knew people weren't like her, she knew adjusting to this new environment would be tough. But never, would she have ever believed that people like her, who cannot control who their parents are, would be looked down upon.
"Sev" Lily whispered, "I don't like them, I'm going to find some other compartment."
Lily ran off, ignoring Severus' many calls.
She found a compartment with two girls. One had blonde, wavy hair and the other had dark, curly hair. They both looked around her age, and they both had large smiles on their faces, chatting animatedly with the other.
She slowly opened the door.
"Hello, do you mind if I sit here?" Lily asked. The two girls smiled at her. The girl with curly hair nodded.
"Hi, my name is Mary Macdonald" the curly haired girl said.
"I'm Marlene McKinnon" the blonde added.
"I'm Lily Evans" Lily said. She smiled when neither girl grimaced at her surname, then sat down next to Mary.
"Evans? Are you a half-blood, then?" Marlene said. Lily's confidence once again faltered. Why did everyone care about who your parents were?
"Um, no. I'm muggle-born" Lily squeaked, "I can leave if you don't like that."
"Are you kidding? I'm a muggle-born, too!" Mary jumped up on her seat before pulling Lily in for a hug.
"Why would we want you to leave? As if that bullshit matters" Marlene gave Lily a big grin. Lily couldn't contain her excitement.
"Sev- uh, my um, my friend" Lily mumbled, "Said I was the only muggle-born."
"What? Is he mental? There's loads!" Marlene scoffed. Lily didn't know whether to feel good or bad about that.
"I- I don't know" Lily grew quiet. Severus was never mean to Lily, he was always a good friend.
"So, do either of you know what house you will be in?" Marlene asked the two of them.
"No, I don't really understand it. There was a brief explanation in the letter but I'm still very confused. Does the Headmaster just pick who goes where based purely off looks or do we have to do an interview?" Mary answered.
Lily was wondering this too, not the exact same thing, but she was also confused about the sorting concept.
"Hah, no. Dumbledore doesn't sort us, the sorting hat does!" Marlene chuckles, looking between the two girls, expecting a reaction, “The sorting hat? Surely they mentioned that in the letter?"
"Was it in yours?" Mary asked Lily. Lily shook her head.
"Oh, well. My mum told me the sorting hat looks into your mind to choose what house best suits you." Marlene said. Lily looked at Mary, who was already looking at her. They both looked equally uncomfortable with the thought of something looking through their mind.
"I think I will be in Gryffindor. I don't really mind what house I'm in honestly, but Gryffindor is the house my family's in." Marlene shrugged.
"What do you think I would be in?" Mary asked.
"Definitely Gryffindor. Or I suppose Hufflepuff." Marlene answered. Mary looked pleased with her answer.
"What about me?" Lily asked as well.
"You look smart, I bet you could make it into Ravenclaw. But you also look like you could suit Gryffindor." Marlene smiled at Lily. Marlene was a very cheerful person, maybe a bit too cheerful.
"I hope we are all in the same dormitories, I like you guys" Mary reached for both Lily and Marlene's hands.
"I hope so too" Marlene said.
"Yeah" Lily grinned.
***
Mary's wishes came true. All three girls were placed in Gryffindor and shared a dormitory, along with another girl, Beatrice. Beatrice was very sweet, but she was friends with other girls, so Marlene, Mary, and Lily kept to themselves.
On their very first night at Hogwarts, Lily couldn't sleep. Her mind was racing with a million thoughts about her new school and whether or not she would enjoy it.
She was pondering over what Transfiguration would cover when she heard someone whisper her name.
"Psst. Lily" The voice was so quiet she couldn't recognise who it belonged to.
"Yeah?" Lily whispered back. Suddenly, the curtains were thrown open and Lily was met with Mary's face. Despite the room being dark, Lily could still make out her massive smirk as she looked at her.
"Heya" She crawled onto the bed and quickly closed the curtains.
"Hey" Lily laughed.
"Sorry" Mary whispered, "The others are asleep but still try and be quiet."
"Of course" Lily giggled quietly, "What's up?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to talk" Mary was no longer laughing.
"Is everything okay?" Lily was concerned now.
"Yes, yes, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask how you were doing." Mary sighed, "I don't know, I noticed you reacted weird after Marlene asked if you were a half-blood."
"Ah, that. Well, I suppose you wouldn't understand." Lily shrugged.
"Why not? I'm muggle-born, too." Mary replied.
Lily forgot that Mary had told her that. She was having so much fun she didn't register that information into her brain.
"Oh, of course. Well, I don't know. Some kids were just giving me dirty looks and calling me things like 'filth' when they found out I had muggle parents." Lily was playing with her fingers. Mary stayed silent, but she shuffled closer.
"They're assholes. Look, I get it" Mary sighed, "That hasn't happened to me just yet but I assume it will soon."
"Yeah." Lily sniffed. She could feel her nose start tingling, this was a sign that she was beginning to cry.
"But it will be okay" Mary's voice was soothing and beautiful, "If we stick together, we can get through anything and everything."
"Why do they have to be so mean?" Lily was crying now. "I felt embarrassed just walking up to the sorting hat today because they all laughed. They called me things."
"What things?" Mary asked.
"Mudblood" Lily whispered, "I don't know what it means, but I know it's bad."
"Fuck" Mary gasped "Those pricks. Look, Lils, can I call you Lils? I'm calling you that anyways. Their opinions don't matter whatsoever."
"I don't know, I feel like they do." Lily sniffed.
"Trust me, they don't. Don't listen to a single word they say to you. They are liars, all of them." Mary stated.
"Thank you, Mary" Lily gave her a weak smile.
"Of course. Look, we will always have each others backs, yeah? Obviously Marlene too, but us muggle-borns have to stick together, yeah?" Mary said to Lily.
"Yeah" Lily answered. Mary climbed under the covers and pulled Lily in for a hug. Lily spent her first night at Hogwarts the safest she could ever be: in the arms of Mary MacDonald.
***
SEPTEMBER 1st 1975
"Lupin, Evans" The Head Boy said, "You two can patrol the south compartments."
"Thank you!" Lily replied, "Come on Remus, let's go."
Remus was practically asleep, his head was leaning against Lily's and he was blinking lazily.
"Ugh, okay" Remus slowly got up from his seat.
"Come on, grandpa" Lily nudged Remus, who smiled in return.
"I think being a grandpa would be quite relaxing, thank you very much" Remus poked his tongue out at her. Lily did the same.
Lily loved Remus. She loved Mary and Marlene, but she loved Remus in a different way. He understood her in different ways that Mary and Marlene did. He understood her need for peace and quiet, he understood her need for academic validation, and he also understood how she feels left out.
Marlene and Mary both tell Lily that they are a trio, but Lily knows. Lily knows that those two are best friends. They have more shared interests, and they have several inside jokes that make Lily feel extremely excluded. This isn't their fault, Lily understands.
She just wished someone could like her the most. Have her be their favourite.
Which is really the main reason why her and Remus became friends, their shared trauma. They spend so much time together now Lily is beginning to consider him her best friend. But she isn't sure whether or not Remus would pick the marauders over her. That was silly, of course he would pick them.
She was currently trying to drag Remus through the corridor, because he was slumped on the floor.
"Come on Remus, I can't be the only one patrolling!" Lily groaned, "I'll get you chocolate when we go to Hogsmeade next?"
"Would you?" Remus replied. Lily loved making Remus happy. Lily notices Remus' bad days. They used to occur only once a month, but now they're getting more regular. She knows when he is feeling sad or angry by how he acts at breakfast.
"Of course, only if you get off your ass, though" Lily told him.
"I love you" Remus said.
"I love you too, Remus, now come on" Lily pulled at his arm once more.
"You promise you will get me a chocolate?" Remus asked again.
"I'll get you several" Lily was pleased with her progress, Remus seemed happier than usual today.
"Aw, Lily. Did I ever tell you you're my favourite person?" Remus replied. Lily's heart warmed. She wasn't sure if he was joking or not, she hoped he wasn't. Remus is probably hers, too. Mary and Marlene are tied with him.
"I better hope not" Sirius Black was now standing behind Remus. Lily studied Remus closely as his ears grew red and blush formed on his cheeks.
Remus was in love with Sirius Black. Lily noticed this last year, when they had a party. Sirius was dancing (which isn't unusual for him) and he pulled Remus up next to him. Sirius lead Remus through some sappy ballroom dance and Remus looked like he was about to melt right there.
After Sirius was done dancing with Remus, Lily had to struggle to keep Remus on his feet. He was silent for the rest of the night.
"Moons, we all know who your favourite is" Sirius flicked his hair over his shoulder.
"Oh now Sirius, you didn't think Remus liked you more than me, did you?" Lily mimicked Sirius' hands-on-hips pose. Sirius scoffed.
"See, ginger, I did. Because he does" Sirius looked at Remus, "Don't you Moony?"
Remus started to tremble. He was looking everywhere in the vicinity except for Sirius himself.
"Er-" Remus was very flustered.
"He likes me best, he just doesn't want you to know it, sorry Sirius" Lily helped Remus. Even if she wasn't actually his favourite, she could see how thankful he was for her.
Lily brushed it off, but she hoped deeply that the two boys both realised their feelings soon. She might discuss it with Remus later, she wasn't sure.
"Remus, why don't you go back to the compartment, we are pretty much at Hogwarts now." Lily gave him a small push to where Sirius was standing just before.
"Thank you Lily" Remus hurried off. Lily laughed to herself, walking back to her apartment.
When she had left, only Marlene was there. Mary was late.
"Babe!" Lily was greeted by a tight hug from Mary as soon as she entered the compartment.
Mary smelt very good. She had a fresh, subtle, and herbaceous scent to her. Lily pulled back and was shocked. Mary was standing close to Lily, and she could make out the shapes and lines on her face, the outlines of her soft, angelic features and how they blended well with one another.
Mary was also looking at Lily for longer than usual, Lily watched her eyes move over her face.
"Hey, Lils" Marlene got up too, clearing her throat.
"Hey Marls, how've you been" Lily felt very awkward now. Lily and Marlene sat down opposite each other, Mary was still standing.
Don't sit next to me, Don't sit next to me.
Mary took her seat next to Lily, much to her dismay. Lily couldn't breathe. All she could hear was Mary, all she could smell was Mary, all she could feel was Mary, next to her.
Mary, who was her best friend, but is now... Lily wasn't sure. She was different. She hadn't changed much, she was the same height, same personality as far as she could tell. But, she felt different.
"Lils?" Marlene's voice brought her back to reality, "How was prefect duty?"
"Oh, um. It was fine." Lily leaned her head against the wall behind her. Both of her hands were grasping the seat either side of her. She was trying to get rid of Mary from her senses.
Mary was everywhere. She was all over her. Lily tried to think of something else, but suddenly Mary would appear.
What sub- Mary.
OWL's are th- Mary.
That smell is so beau- Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary.
It was getting too much. Lily didn't have time to explain, she stood up and walked out. She went straight to Remus' compartment. He is the only person she could think of.
Who else could she talk to?
"Hey boys" Lily stuttered, "Uh, Remus?"
Remus' brows drew together, going over her worried appearance. James noticed this too.
"Are you okay, Evans?" James asked. Lily couldn't deal with him right now.
"Yep. Remus can we talk?" Lily kept looking between Remus and the compartment down the hall where she had been earlier. She could still smell her, but it wasn't as strong.
"Of course" Remus stood up and quickly exited. Lily was glad, because she wouldn't have been able to keep it in any longer.
She crumpled to the floor, her breathing grew faster, her hands ran through her hair rapidly, and her legs were shaking.
"Woah, woah" Remus knelt next to her, "Lily? What's happened?"
"M-" Lily stopped. She couldn't. Even if Remus liked Sirius, it didn't mean he was okay with it.
"What? Lily. You can tell me anything. Anything. I swear. Whatever you say, I will not care. Fuck, I will probably even forgive you if you murdered someone as long as you have an excuse" Remus was talking oddly fast.
"Mary" Lily breathed. That was all she could say.
"Mary? Did something happen to Mary? What happened?" Remus was looking between Lily's two pupils.
"Nothing. I- Mary" Lily couldn't say it "Everything is Mary. I can't think of anything except Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary"
Remus looked as though he was beginning to understand.
"Do you, um" He paused, "Do you maybe like Mary?"
"What?" Lily froze, looking up at Remus "No, no, no. No. I-er..."
Remus raised his brow. She knew he could sense it.
"Lily." Remus said sternly "Don't be afraid. It's okay. Honestly, I'm the same."
Lily's heart stopped. Is he about to announce his crush on Sirius?
"I was attracted to this guy at a pub I went to last week" Remus added, "We almost fucked."
Lily's hope faded. It was silly, she doubted Remus would've told her if he did like Sirius.
"Oh" Lily said, "Remus. I love you"
"I love you too, Lily" Remus hugged her, "I love you most. I needed this. I needed someone to get me. Of course it's you."
"We get each other, don't we?" Lily laughed.
"You bet we do" Remus continued hugging her.
***
PRESENT
"Lily!" Marlene was banging on the bathroom door. Lily was still in the shower, trying her very best to wash away her thoughts.
Earlier that day, Mary's leg touched hers under the table. Now all Lily can feel is her. Her warmth, her love, her. Lily scrubbed furiously at the one spot on her leg, but the feeling didn't fade one bit.
"Lily! For fucks sake!" Marlene kept banging on the door, "I need to shower, the party starts soon!"
"One sec!" This was useless, Lily was just going to have to ignore her feelings for Mary once more.
Ever since Lily saw her on the train at the beginning of the year, she has not gone a single minute without thinking of her. It was getting very distracting. Lily needed her. In what way, she didn't know, all she knew was that she desperately needed Mary MacDonald.
"Lils?" Her voice echoed through Lily's body.
Lils.
Lils.
She loved how Mary said it. With such softness and caress.
Lily turned off the tap, and quickly threw on her clothes. She walked out of the bathroom, and Mary was there. She was looking at Lily in such a beautiful way. She wanted Mary to keep looking at her like that, but Mary turned away.
"Thank God" Marlene jumped from where she was on her bed and sprinted to the bathroom.
Beatrice had already headed off to the party to help set up as she was friends with the Hufflepuffs. This meant it was just Lily and Mary. Mary had her back turned, but she was still close to Lily.
"Could you help me pick something to wear?" Lily asked Mary.
Mary turned, she looked stressed. She nodded before heading towards Lily's dresser.
She rummaged through her clothes as though she was looking for something. She stopped when she found a sage green dress, that Lily had worn once last year. She forgot she even packed it, the dress probably didn't even fit her.
"This" Mary was looking at the dress, nodding her head, "You look- you look amazing in it."
Lily grew hot, and quickly grabbed the dress from Mary. She turned around to put it on. Lily was going to wear this dress. She didn't care if she didn't fit it, Mary liked how she looked in it, so she was wearing it.
When Lily was done squeezing into the dress, she could hear Mary's light footsteps inching closer. Lily braced herself. Mary's smooth hands brushed her back as she pulled up the zip.
Lily turned to look at Mary, who was already looking at her. She looked so beautiful, she was wearing a dress that complimented her figure extremely well. Lily wanted to kiss her so badly.
"You look pretty, Lils" Mary sighed, "Can I do your hair, too?"
Lily pretty much evaporated right there. Yes. Yes. Mary could do anything to her, and she wouldn't mind.
"Yes" Lily squeaked. She walked to her bed and sat down cross-legged on the mattress. Mary stood behind her, and she slowly grasped her ginger hair. She gently raked a brush Lily's hair, and began to plait it. Lily's head was tingling, she didn't mind people touching her hair, but Mary touching it was something else.
"All done" Mary whispered. Lily reached for her hair, feeling the loose plait. Lily moved herself around so she was facing Mary, who had her hands on her hips.
"It looks beautiful" Mary grinned at Lily, "Do you like it?"
"I love it" Lily grinned back.
"Actually, wait!" Mary instantly sprinted out of the dormitory, leaving Lily by herself.
After some time, Marlene stumbled out of the bathroom, hair done up and with a full face of makeup.
"How do I look?" Marlene did a 360° turn.
"You look great Marls" Lily got up and hugged her friend.
"Thanks Lily" Marlene gazed over her outfit, "I like yours, too"
Mary stormed into the room and skidded to a stop at Lily. She had a bunch of daisies in her hand that swayed as she moved.
Mary was about to speak, but she was very flustered because, clearly, she had been running.
"Are you okay, Mare?" Marlene asked. She put her hands on her best friends shoulders, looking between her two eyes.
"Yes" Mary breathed, "Sorry I was just running. Non stop. Here."
Mary grabbed Lily's waist to turn her around so she could see her hair. Lily's stomach erupted in butterflies at the touch, and even when Mary removed her hands, the fingerprints lingered there.
Mary picked some daisies and placed them throughout her hair.
"I tried to find some Lilies, but there weren't any" Mary sighed, "But the daisies still look good, right Mar?"
"Of course! That was a great idea Lily, how did you think of it?" Marlene said, "Everyone will love it!"
"Mary had the idea" Lily replied, turning around to smile at Mary sheepishly. Mary gazed back.
Lily was truly captivated by her beauty, she wanted to kiss every freckle on her nose. She wanted to touch her lips. She wanted to feel her close. She needed this. But she would never have it.
"Well, is everyone ready to go?" Marlene asked, rubbing her hands together.
"Yep, let's get outta here" Mary squealed. She put her arms over the other two's shoulders.
***
"Woah, Evans!" Sirius rubbed his eyes as he gazed over Lily's hair, "I love it! Great job, Macdonald!”
"Thanks, Black" Mary's arms were crossed over her chest. She was very proud of her work, Lily's hair was truly very beautiful.
Remus trotted down the stairs, and when he saw Lily he immediately ran over to give her a hug.
"You look great Lils" Remus pulled back, "And is that..."
He looked at her plait.
"Huh, that's really cool" Remus grinned to himself.
"You should do that for me too Moony" Sirius said.
"Are you kidding? That would look terrible in your hair" Remus chuckled.
"I am not kidding, I'm Siri-" Sirius started
"STOP" Remus replied, running a hand down his face. He laughed a little, causing Sirius to smile to himself.
"Aww Moony, are you mad at me" Sirius twirled his long hair around his pointer finger.
"When is he not?" James added. Sirius scowled.
"He's not always mad at me thank you very much" Sirius looked back at Remus, "But why don't we let Moony answer?"
"Yes" Was all that came out of Remus' mouth. He looked very flushed under the light of the fireplace, the main light was turned off.
"I'll make it up to you tonight" Sirius winked at him. He grabbed Remus' hand and pulled him through the portrait hole.
"Let's go, folks" James' hands were in his pockets, and he swayed a little on his feet.
Everyone exited the common room.
***
REGULUS
"Hurry up, Reg!" Barty called from the other side of the door.
"Just wait, I'm coming!" Regulus barked back. He quickly ran a hand through his hair, then headed out.
"Fuck, you take a long time" Barty groaned.
"I was literally five fucking minutes" Regulus snapped.
"Whatever" Barty replied, "Everyone's waiting downstairs, let's go"
Regulus followed Barty out the door and into the common room. Pandora was wearing a blue dress that hung loose at her knees. Dorcas was wearing a black mini skirt paired with her green Quidditch jumper. Evan was wearing jeans and a T-shirt.
"Hurry up, let's go!" Evan was moving to the door, everyone else following suit.
The group gathered outside to figure out where exactly it was they were headed to.
"Pan, where is it?" Dorcas asked. Pandora lead the group through the castle until they made it to a hallway that was lit with a dim glow.
"I don't know about you guys, but isn't this the kitchen?" Barty asked.
"The Hufflepuff common room is next to it, you fuckwit" Evan nudged Barty in the ribs. Barty groaned in pain.
"Over here" Pandora gestured to a stack of barrels further along the corridor.
"They said you tap this one" Pandora tapped the barrel in the middle. The lid opened up to reveal a sloped passage that Regulus had to crouch in order to get through.
Everyone climbed through on after the other.
"Ouch that was my foot, you bastard!" Dorcas hissed at Evan, who threw up his hands in defeat.
Soon enough, Regulus exited the slope and found himself in a very bright, loud room. There were a lot of people here, however not a single Slytherin was in sight.
That was when Regulus saw him. James Potter. James was talking to one of the Gryffindor beaters, Marlene McKinnon. He looked so effortlessly hot. His white button-up shirt was not done up all the way, so you could see some of his chest. He also had his sleeves rolled up, and his arms were flexed and veiny, one of Regulus' many kinks.
"Come on Reg" Dorcas pulled him towards the keg in the corner of the room. Surprisingly, no one was there.
Barty and Evan already had drinks in hand and were currently trying to seduce two girls. Pandora had found her Hufflepuff friends.
"I should probably tell you this now" Dorcas said tensely, "I- er- I like someone from Gryffindor."
Regulus snorted unintentionally, because he did as well. Dorcas raised her brow.
"Sorry" Regulus said, "Who?"
"Look, you can't tell anyone, okay?" Dorcas was not joking. She was looking at him straight in the eye, and was not blinking.
"Er- okay?" Regulus felt uncomfortable, so he took a sip of his drink.
"Um" Dorcas paused. She lifted a shaky finger and pointed to where James and Marlene were standing. Regulus choked on the beer.
"Potter? Are you fucking serious?" Regulus was coughing and attracting a lot of attention now.
"Shh" Dorcas looked over at James and Marlene who were now looking at them, too.
"I can't believe you" Regulus snapped.
"It's not James" Dorcas clenched, "It's her."
Dorcas pointed again, but this time Regulus actually understood who she was talking about.
"McKinnon? Ah" Regulus understood, "And that's why you don't want me to tell anyone? How did you know I wouldn't be against lesbians?"
"Because you're gay" Dorcas said monotonely. Regulus stopped.
"What?" Regulus blurted out, "Huh? Um, how... what made you think that?"
"Don't be like that, Reg. You like him. James. I had a hunch at first but your reaction just then confirmed it." Dorcas replied.
Regulus didn't know what to say. This might be the only opportunity he could have where he is guaranteed no one will react badly. Regulus also liked Dorcas, he didn't want to lie to her.
"Okay. Maybe a little bit, I don't know." Regulus whispered, "But you can't say a word about it or I swear to God Meadowes, I will slit your throat in your sleep."
"Roger that" Dorcas saluted, “Should I go over?"
"And leave me alone? No way" Regulus snorted, "Plus, I doubt McKinnon is queer."
"I dunno, doesn't she just give you gay vibes?" Dorcas shrugged. Both of them turned to watch Marlene who was now dancing with James.
"I suppose I can see it" Regulus said, "I dunno, I wouldn't risk it."
"It's not like I'm going to kiss her or anything, just talk" Dorcas wouldn't take her eyes off of Marlene.
"Maybe wait until she's done dancing, Cas" Regulus told her, but he was too late. Dorcas was strolling towards Marlene. She stopped immediately in front of her and started to dance along to the music.
At first, Marlene looked taken aback, but after a few seconds she continued dancing. James was no longer with Marlene, but Regulus couldn't see where he had gone. He had taken his eyes off of him for one second, and he had left.
"Hey" Regulus jumped when he heard a voice behind him. He turned around and found a pair of glasses, tan skin, brown eyes, and messy hair.
"Hey" Regulus said bitterly. James took a step towards Regulus, who stepped back.
"What the fuck are you doing Potter?" Regulus spat.
"Why are you here, Regulus?" James asked him, “I know for a fact you dislike parties."
"How exactly do you know that?" Regulus sniffed. He wanted to get the conversation part over and just kiss the boy in front of him.
"Never in my life have I seen you at a party. I've seen all your friends attend some, but you're never present. Also you're very antisocial so what would I expect?" James went on.
"Fuck you" Regulus turned away from James. Why was he talking to Regulus? What was James doing around his best friend’s brother? The brother that his best friend hated?
"How about this" James stepped in front of Regulus, "You don't like people. I get it. You don't want to be here. Why don't we get out of here? I know a few spots"
"Why the fuck do you want to hang out with me?" Regulus questioned the brunette who was now so close Regulus could count his eyelashes.
"Because, you might not believe it, but I care about you" James stepped away from Regulus and gave him a small smile.
"Merlin, no you don't. You fucking hate me just like the rest of them" Regulus spat.
"I've always liked you Black, you might not believe it, but I do" James crossed his arms, "Now do you want to get out of here or not?"
"Why should I go anywhere with you?" Regulus said through clenched teeth.
"Because you can trust me. What, you think I'm going to pull a prank on you or something? You think Sirius is going to jump out and throw a dung bomb at you?" James chuckled to himself. When Regulus didn't reply, James stopped laughing.
"I won't do that, I swear" James whispered "Forget I said anything."
"Pretty damn hard to forget if you ask me" Regulus scoffed.
"How about this. If Sirius does end up finding us, I have to leave you alone. I will never talk to you again. If he doesn't, you can go on with your life and pretend I don't exist as usual, but I can't guarantee I won't leave you alone" James told Regulus.
"So I would get nothing out of this deal?"
"Is me leaving you alone not something?" James asked. Regulus studied James for several seconds. It was quite uncomfortable for both of them. James cleared his throat, so Regulus finally decided to look away.
"Fine. It's not like I have anything to lose" Regulus shrugged "Let's go, Potter."
Regulus walked straight to the entrance, everyone moved out of his way when he made it clear he would not move out of theirs.
"Slow down" James called out, who was currently stuck behind two girls that were trying to get him to dance with them.
"You hurry up" Regulus yelled over his shoulder. He made it to the exit and he went through the tunnel, coming out the other side faster than he came in.
Regulus waited impatiently for James to come down. The brunette boy finally exited the tunnel with what Regulus first thought was a bug on his cheek, but when he looked closer he realised it was a lipstick stain.
"Stopped to hookup did you? You really are the whore everyone calls you, then" Regulus snapped.
"First of all, no. Someone left this on me right before I went through the tunnel. And no one calls me a whore, I've never even dated anyone" James scowled.
"Sure, sure" Regulus chuckled, "Well? Are you going to take me to your secret make out spot?"
James stopped to look at Regulus. He didn't believe what he just said. Regulus looked back blankly.
"Make out? No, I'm flattered, really, but no." James scratched the back of his neck, "Why? Do you want to make out?"
"No" Regulus lied, "Can you just fucking take me there dammit."
"Fuck, okay" James walked through the corridors, turning left and right here and there, until they stopped outside a portrait of an old lady.
"Wait here, I won't be long" James said something to the painting, and it swung open to reveal a doorway.
"The prank is going all to plan, isn't it Potter?" Regulus scowled. He can't believe he fell for James' silly plans.
"That's not whats happening and you know it" James put up his middle finger as he walked through the portrait hole. Regulus waited outside, kicking the wall and the stairs to try and waste time.
"Well, well" A voice behind him sneered, "Who would've thought. Regulus Black, fucking James Potter."
Regulus turned to see Severus Snape standing in front of him. He was smirking as though he had actually accomplished something.
"Go fuck yourself" Regulus snapped, "I'm not fucking that asshole"
Snape sneered once more, making Regulus very uncomfortable.
"How would your brother react to this, Black?"
"He isn't my brother" Regulus said through clenched teeth, "Not anymore."
Snape tutted in response "I've got something on you, Black. If you do something to cross me, don't think I'll rat you and your blood traitor boyfriend out in an instant"
"He isn't my boyfriend" Regulus repeated, "And who would believe you over me? I'm a Black, after all."
"Does that name really amount to as much as you believe it does?" Snape asked rhetorically.
Regulus didn't understand what Snape meant, but he was sick of him already.
"Just piss off, Snape" Regulus growled. Snape walked away, but his words stuck to Regulus.
Regulus had no time to dwell on it as James had just appeared in the doorway, holding some black fabric.
"Was that Snivellus I heard?" James was rubbing his hands together, "Was he bothering you?"
"No" Regulus said, "What is that?"
"This" James said proudly, revealing the fabric, "is something called an Invisibility Cloak. It makes you invisible when you stand under it. My dad gave it to me."
"Huh" Regulus reached for the fabric and gasped when his hand suddenly disappeared.
Regulus instantly regretted showing any sign of interest in this item, for James was now proud of himself for finally getting Regulus' attention.
"Not as interesting as I thought" Regulus said to bruise James' ego. James didn't seem like he cared, though.
James threw the cloak over Regulus and himself. It was quite squishy, so Regulus had to lean into James a bit so his leg wouldn't start showing.
This made Regulus' stomach squirm. He hated that feeling; the butterflies. He wanted to crush every single one to stop it. Regulus Black doesn't get nervous. Regulus Black doesn't have petty feelings such as 'crushes'. It's childish and weird.
James was so close to Regulus that he could feel the other breathing. It was shaky, but he was clearly trying to calm himself down. This made Regulus calmer. He liked listening to James breathe, it was very soothing and relaxing.
"Where exactly are we going?" Regulus hissed.
"You'll see soon" James replied.
***
It was cold outside, James was leading Regulus through the grounds of the school. Regulus was starting to slip on the wet grass, and had to steady himself to stay upright.
"Slow down" Regulus whispered.
"We're almost there, just wait" James whispered back. He quickened his pace as they neared the Forbidden Forest.
"Where the fuck are you going?" Regulus asked, "We can't go in there"
"Now do I seem like the kind of person that follows the rules?" James turned to smirk at Regulus.
That was true, James definitely did not care for the rules so it didn't surprise Regulus that he had been in the forest before.
They made it into the forest, it was dark and hard to see. James lit his wand to guide the way.
"We're close" James said, "We just need to take a few more turns."
"I'm about to fall" Regulus yelled as James took a quick turn at a pair of trees.
He braced himself as he slipped backwards. He closed his eyes, waiting for his butt to hit the ground but then he felt a warm hand on his back.
He opened his eyes and saw James crouched over him, holding him inches from the ground. He was so close, Regulus could kiss him.
"I got you" James said, "Maybe we should slow down."
Regulus looked up at James. He hoped he was joking.
"You think?" Regulus hissed.
"Okay, my bad" James threw his hands up in the air, letting go of Regulus accidentally. Regulus screamed as he fell to the forest floor, hitting the ground hard. His head was pounding and his vision began to blur. He could make out James' lean figure.
"Shit" James groaned, "I'm so sorry Reg."
"Regulus" Regulus moaned "Don't call me Reg."
"Does that really matter right now?" James asked Regulus "You probably have a concussion and you're mad about some nickname?"
"I don't have a concussion" Regulus swatted James' arms away from him and pushed himself off the ground. His vision was getting clearer, but his head was still throbbing.
"Fuck" James grunted, looking at the cuts on Regulus' arms, "Can I-"
"No" Regulus interrupted. He didn't know what James was going to say, but he wanted to leave and go back to his bed.
"Reg- I mean Regulus, you're bleeding" James' eyes were frantically running over his body, "Literally everywhere"
"I'll go to the hospital wing" Regulus spat, turning around and walking off.
"Pomfrey will ask how you got the wounds" James yelled from behind him. Regulus stopped. He could easily come up with a lie, but Pomfrey would most likely see through it.
Regulus turned around to see James. He was sweating, his glasses were crooked and his hair was a mess. He looked gorgeous, but Regulus could never tell James that, he would never hear the end of it. He wanted to reach forward and straighten out his glasses, he wanted to comb through his curls, he wanted to kiss his lips.
"Reg?" James' brows were drawn as he watched the Slytherin boy gaze over him. Regulus didn't fail to roll his eyes when James used the nickname once again.
"What" Regulus barked. James stepped closer to him.
"Let me just," James reached for his chin so he could turn his head, but Regulus wouldn't let him.
"Don't fucking touch me" Regulus' eyes were beginning to tear up, “If you're not going to let me go to the hospital wing can you at least leave me the fuck alone?"
"Not like this I can't" James snapped back, "I know you don't think he does, but Sirius really does care for you. I promise he does. He wouldn’t want me to leave you alone."
"Don't even think you have any right to talk to me about him" Regulus spat, "Now leave me alone, Potter."
"No. I don't care what you think. I'm staying. I'm going to treat your wounds so they don't get infected and I'm going to keep you safe. You've clearly never been in here before so I don't trust you can do that yourself." James rambled.
"I don't need a babysitter" Regulus scowled, "And why are you all of a sudden caring about me?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" James questioned.
"You have never cared for my feelings in the slightest. I find it quite unbelievable that you suddenly care." Regulus replied. He turned away from the Gryffindor boy and made his way out of the forest. James chased after him.
"Stop! I didn't even get to show you the place! Regulus, please" James whimpered.
The way James said that last sentence sent shivers down Regulus' spine, and he couldn't stop himself from pausing. His breath hitched as he awaited James' next words.
"Regulus" James faltered, "Come with me."
That was all he needed to say.
Regulus would follow James anywhere he wanted, all he had to do was ask, and he would go.
So he did.
***
James had definitely overestimated his "spot". It was a large clearing, there was nothing special about it. It was just grass. No trees, no water, not even any flowers. Regulus didn't know exactly what he was expecting, but this was not it.
James used his invisibility cloak as a picnic blanket since the grass was wet. After he placed it across the grass, he gestured for Regulus to sit. It was definitely not big enough for the both of them, but James was determined to make it work.
"Okay so if you just put your legs on top of mine-" James started.
"Excuse me? Who do you think I am?" Regulus growled.
"Er" James blinked, "Regulus Black?"
"Hah, very funny" Regulus rolled his eyes.
"I wasn't trying to be funny" James said, "What did you mean by that?"
"Why did you believe that me, Regulus Black, would place my legs on top of your legs? I'm not one of your little whores that you can fuck when you want to." Regulus snarled. James grimaced to himself.
"No. I'm not like that" James whispered, "I told you this already. I- I haven't done that before."
Regulus was shocked. Honestly, he hadn't technically done it either, or at least with a girl. But the main thing was that James Potter, the Hogwarts Heart-throb, was a virgin.
"You're a virgin?" Regulus snorted, "I'm suprised."
"Now why is that such a bad thing? I swear you Black's are so judgemental about people's body counts. Sirius is the exact same." James groaned.
"Don't compare me to him" Regulus turned away from James, "He isn't a Black."
"Okay" James shrugged, "But what about you, Regulus? Are you a virgin?"
Regulus scoffed. He had sworn since his first year that he would never take part in silly teenage things such as popularity and gossip. He never discussed things like this. This was mainly because no one bothered to ask, but if they did he still wouldn't discuss it.
But James was looking at Regulus. And he looked so pretty. The stars were showing in his eyes, and he looked so fucking beautiful. But if Regulus told James who he had slept with, well... James would find out.
"No" Regulus mumbled, "I wouldn't be considered a virgin."
"Huh" James chuckled, "Well, who was the lucky girl?"
Regulus watched James for a while longer instead of answering his question. He looked slightly jealous, but maybe it was just the lighting.
"Well" Regulus dragged a hand down his face, "How exactly do I say this."
James tilted his head, and oh my god, Regulus wanted to kiss him. Would he kiss Regulus back? James was giving him mixed signals, but Regulus still knew deep down that he was straight. Painfully straight.
"I won't say anything" James reassured him, "I promise."
Regulus remembered who James could tell this information to. His brother, James' best friend. If Sirius found out, Regulus wouldn't even know how he would react. Sirius did make some negative comments over the years about queer people.
Sirius wouldn't accept Regulus. He knows that. So he can't trust James with this. He would feel obligated to tell his best friend.
"Regulus" James sighed. He slowly reached his hand forward to touch his face. This time, Regulus didn't flinch or step back.
James moved Regulus' face to his own. Regulus stared into his deep brown eyes that he had gotten lost in many times before. He wanted to memorise his eyes, they were his favourite. His glasses made them even better, Regulus sometimes wished he didn't wear them so he could have a chance of moving on.
"Trust me" James muttered, and oh, did Regulus want to. He really wanted to.
"I can't" Regulus answered, "Not with this."
James looked like he had just been stabbed in the heart, but he still smiled softly.
"Okay" James said, "You can tell me when you need. But, Reg, will we ever do things like this again? I know it wasn't for very long but I liked it."
I like you. Regulus thought.
"I don't know" Regulus said, "I don't think we can do this again."
James' looked so hurt. Regulus wondered why. Surely he didn't want to spend time with someone like him? Was it all just an act? Was James trying to get something out of him? Why would someone like James Potter want to spend time with someone like Regulus Black?
"Okay. I'll see you, Black" James cracked. Regulus didn't know how to feel. Everyone called him Black, it was his surname after all. But the way James said it was different. He used it like the name Black was an insult.
Regulus didn't like it.