the start
depression. “a mental condition characterized by feelings of severe despondency and dejection, typically also with feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often accompanied by lack of energy and disturbance of appetite and sleep.”
Sirius knew that his world would never be complete without his little brother. Now he is sat on his bed, that is located in one of the many love filled rooms in Potter Manor. Yet he has found himself staring at the wall ahead of him, unblinking, he is not aware of how long he has been like this but he does know that he misses his brother. Regulus. Who he was meant to protect, to save in order to bring him here, where he currently is, he allows himself to bask in the warmth of his friends and this family that so graciously took him in when he had to escape that horrid house but what he regrets the most was not bringing with him his baby brother. Sirius is wallowing in this sort of despair that he has every time because of Regulus when his mind distantly, somewhere far away calls to him and invades the haze that had entered his eyes. It is informing him that someone is talking to him, so with a harsh blink called by his mind and his ears tune back into what had been the deafening silence is now filled with his best friends voice, James Potter.
“Sirius! Sirius! Hey? Can you hear me” his chin has been jerked by the soft hands of James, forcing their eyes to meet as he sees that he now has his attention. “Something's going on outside, I- I don't know what but it's something not good, c'mon we must go with mom and dad.” At this, it snags his full attention, the thought that something could be happening to his brother, what if Regulus is hurt because of whatever this is, he has to go save him and protect him. He must, it's his job as his older brother and protector.
James had grabbed his hand as they raced through the halls of Potter Manor to find Euphemia and Fleamont, as they were in his study, they were speaking to someone through the floo.
At the sound of their entrance Effie, James' mom turns to them, a concerned expression that turns to relief at the sight of them, Sirius sees her visibly hide away all the worry and put on her usual motherly expression. That's when something fearful truly curls up in his stomach, because he knows that whatever this is, is bad, and he is unsure if he wants to know what that will mean for Reggie, for his baby brother. The fear that he has only ever felt before in terms of the safety of Regulus.
“Mom? What's wrong? What's happening” is the voice that speaks first, coming from James and Sirius quickly glances at him to find his anxious filled face as he stares at his mom who has all the answers.
Sirius used to slightly envy that trust that he is able to have for his mother, he never had that luxury, now he's grateful because just like Effie is James' mom, she's like his adoptive mom. His own gaze is also fixated on Effie as she glances between them in an assessing manner, trying to deduce if they should know. His own face is blank, Sirius is aware of this because it became this way when that fear implemented itself into him.
“Boys.. there is a situation going on outside. It- “ she cuts herself off by taking a deep breath, Sirius sees the way she's trying to steady her voice as James' hand that is still gripped in his own almost seems to be tearing his hand off by the sheer grip of it. Sirius also notices how Effie is rubbing her hands together, a nervous tic that he knows she has. His eyes narrow at her and seeing the seriousness in his eyes, she audibly gulps before continuing her sentences.
“There's a sort of outbreak going on in the muggle world. It is slowly blending itself into our world, the wizarding world, many wizards have fled to safety. The ministry is working to make safe houses for us all.” She ends her explanation at that, his mind only manages to come up with a few questions to that, James mainly voicing them all out for him as they can hear Fleamont starting to yell at whoever it is he is speaking to.
Effie had reached out and placed a hand on each of their shoulders, as James started his ramble of questions, it helped ease them and Sirius hadn't noticed when he himself had gotten so tense by this. “What- what do you mean? Outbreak? What sort of outbreak? How is it affecting us? Mom? I'm- I'm scared” Sirius glanced at James at his last words to see that his best friend had started to cry, Sirius himself can't really feel anything other than the numbness that had steadily replaced his fear at one point. Effie removes the hand she had on his shoulder to wipe the tears off James' face, soothing words pouring from her lips to calm down her son. Sirius watches the interaction, unconsciously being soothed himself, even if he hasn't realized.
She starts to open her mouth once more to most likely address James' concerns but seems unable to. That is also the moment when the floo call ends and Fleamont makes his way over to them, looking like he's aged more in the last few minutes than earlier when he'd last seen him. Again Sirius' heart reminds him of his younger brother, Regulus. He knows that this outbreak, whatever it is, can and mostly likely will hurt him, and well he can not have that. This is what causes him to speak up when all Fleamont and Euphemia do is give each other a look as Effie goes to place her hands on his arms leaving James standing by himself beside him. Instinctually his and James hands find themselves intertwined again but not in the death like grip from earlier, more of a soothing one this time.
“What is the outbreak? ” It might be the slight edge to his words that cause the adults to forget their worries or just the way in which his expression is still blank that causes everyone to look at him. Unsure of what to make of him but Sirius is glad that he is about to get proper answers now because Fleamont seems like he is going to answer as Effie clearly can't. So he stares at him until he hears what he needs to know.
“This outbreak it was, it seems as if people are functioning but they are hurting others, they don't know what they are doing except that they need to eat, and they're eating other people.”
“Cannibalism?” is his easy reply back, received with the horrified looks from James and Effie but still has the steady look directed at him from Fleamonts eyes that tells him, he is not right.
“No, Sirius, it seems as if this disease is transmitted through a bite or there's another reason being looked into right now but all we know is that people are not in their right minds and are hurting others. People from the wizarding world that happened to be in the muggle world, saw it and reported it back to the ministry. Some wizards got affected and appeared to have been able to not be affected as quickly as the non-magic folk but this is very deadly. We have to stay here, you two have to stay here while I must go to the ministry and find out what is going on”
At this Effie sends them both out to go get themselves something to eat, Sirius finds himself going without much fuss and has to drag James with him. As the adults stay back to talk. Meanwhile, Sirius is mulling over what was said, trying to understand. His mind thinking and thinking while James walks beside him in a panicked sort of silence. Once they get to the kitchen of the Potter Manor, James begins to talk.
“What do you think that meant Sirius? Do you think we'll be safe here, I'm not sure how to feel about this.” Sirius finds himself halting his thoughts to look at James, he sees him biting his nails, a nervous tic that he has, the way his eyes are frantic and unfocused on the tabletop counter, how his hands are slightly shaking and his shoulders are arched up into his neck a bit like he's really tense but doesn't notice.
He places one of his hands on James shoulder, the closest one to him to have the other boy look at him. James visibly eases and his eyes quickly focus on him. “James, this house has many generations of magic threaded throughout it, it has multiple layers of protection on it dating back many years. This is one of the safest places we could be. Don't worry, your parents will find out more for us. Come on let's make ourselves some sandwiches to eat, okay?, “ James nods at his words as they wordlessly make themselves some food to eat, Sirius left out his forming theories because he knows that they would not be taken well at the moment and state that his beloved best friend is in. When they're done with preparing the food, they sit down together by the stools near the counter. They eat in silence, they never eat in silence but right now it is the best choice for them to do.
Sirius finds himself thinking about what positives he can focus on about the situation, his mind is currently a mess of different thoughts. Thoughts he's unwillingly to connect and piece together quite yet. That would make them true, he does not want them to be true. But the matter of the fact is, they are true, he just doesn't know it yet.
Sirius Black is a best friend, the adoptive son of Mr and Mrs Potter, disowned heir from the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, he is a soon to be soldier in a war by outbreak, he will be one of the few that helps save everyone, but most of all, the biggest thing that makes Sirius, Sirius, is that he is the bigger brother of Regulus Black. And he'd watch the world end if it meant that his baby brother was safe.