More Talking
Severus’s POV
They were finished eating and Severus had taken his potions by 8:00, but the two stayed at the table, Severus with his notebook, as Remus claimed they needed to talk. Or write, in Severus’s case.
“So, we have a lot to talk about.” Remus began, and Severus nodded because it felt like he was supposed to say something, but he didn’t know what. “Now that we’re living together it’s important we know about each other.”
Another nod.
“First of all: I have some money left over from wills and get twenty galleons($100 USD/78.02 pounds) every month from the ministry, but I’m also a published author, writing my fifth book, which also gets me some money. So, we’re about middle class; my books are quite popular all things considered and I had a habit of making rich friends. Do you have a source of income?”
~No. I can make potions.~
Remus nodded. “You’ll have to wait a bit until you're stronger, but you can probably make a lot off of that. Potions are so expensive, and if sold specifically to St. Mungos, amongst other people, you’d get even more. Do you have insurance? Medical or anything?”
~No.~
“It’s okay, I do and I’m sure I can get you on it pretty easily. That stuff is much easier in the magical world.”
A nod because that was Severus’s default response most of the time.
“Are you sure you don’t have anything you want from your old house?”
~Nothing.~
“And your wand?”
~You keep it. I don’t want it.~
“Alright, then. I have one more thing I want to talk to you about right now, but I don’t think you’ll like it.”
~What?~
“You’ve been through a lot, a lot of really bad stuff.” Remus hesitantly began.
~I’m aware.~
“So, I think it would be a good idea for you to try out therapy.”
~No.~ Severus quickly wrote, shaking his head as hard as he could. ~No. No. No.~
“Severus, listen.”
More head shaking, with no pause to write ‘no’ this time.
“There’s nothing wrong with seeing a therapist.”
~I’m not crazy!~
“I never said you were….Being ‘crazy’ isn’t even a thing, it’s just an insulting way of describing mental health conditions.”
~I’m not~ He didn’t finish, laying his arms on the table then his head on his arms in defeat.
“I’m not trying to upset you or anything; I’m just trying to help.”
No response, Severus was fighting back tears, but Remus didn’t need to know that. He just wanted to go back to sleep.
“I do therapy.”
Severus looked up before he could even think about it, barely grabbing the notebook before the words started pouring out.
~What? What are you talking about?~
“I do therapy. I’m part of a support group for soldiers that I go to every other Friday, then I see my psychologist twice a year, and a therapist once a month. Sometimes more if I need it.”
~Why?~
“I have some problems from the wars and being turned; some anxiety and such. The first couple years after the last war were way worse than I am now, so my therapy appointments have become less frequent, but they’re still there. And I take a couple meds now, which is also helpful.”
~Meds?~
“Medications. I take Lexapro for anxiety and depression and melatonin for insomnia. Plus Ottson’s, but that’s not a mental health thing; actually it’s a potion.”
~Ottson’s?~ Severus had never heard of that before which made him less confident in his previously excellent potions skills.
“It’s pretty new, has only been out of the experimental stage since last June, I think. It’s a werewolf specific pain potion you take with wolfsbane the night of the full moon to make the transformation much less painful. I guess I also take wolfsbane.”
~Oh.~
“So, therapy?”
~Do I have a choice?~
“Always!” Remus assured. “I’ll never force you to do anything….But, I do strongly suggest it.”
~Why?~
“Like I said before: I just want to help you. I want to make you feel safer, more comfortable. And I think therapy would help that; a psychologist eventually too, but that can wait a bit. Unless you want to now.”
~Not now, no psychologist.~
“But, therapy?”
Should he agree? It would make Remus happy and a happy Remus is a safe Remus, but on the other hand: what if this was a trap? What if Remus only wanted him to say yes to mock him? What if—
“Severus?” Remus cut in. “Are you okay?”
A nod. ~Fine.~
“Fine?”
~I’ll do it.~
“You’ll try therapy?” Remus really seemed excited.
~Yeah.~ Hopefully this wasn’t a mistake.
“I promise it’s worth it!”