We Can Try Again

Severus's POV

Why couldn’t he experience good things for longer than a few four hours without his bladder intervening?! 

Remus was home, done with the intense shopping made easier by magic, and, based on the sounds coming from below the room, was putting the food he ordered on plates and the drink into cups for the two of them. Any second now he would come upstairs to wake up Severus, who was already awake, for dinner and find out that Severus had violated his precious, amazing, bed with his brokenness. 

And there Remus was.

“Ah, you’re awake!” 

A nod because it felt wrong to not respond, but he didn’t have his notebook and saying ‘no’ was an obvious lie. Technically he could use his vocal chords, but he knew better than that by now.

“Is something wrong? Wait, hold on.” Remus left, returning about a minute later with the same notebook and pen. “Write it down, if you’re okay with telling me.”

~I don’t have a choice.~

“Why?”

~I need your help.~ He hesitantly wrote, hating every letter, and then added. ~It involves your bed, I’m sorry. I should have known better.~

“What is it then? I put a stasis charm on the pizza and soda, so take as long as you need, it physically can’t go bad.”

~I did it again.~

“Did what?”

~You know.~ Another pause and he had the urge to write ‘...’, but didn’t. ~Earlier before my teeth, after the medicine.~

“Oh.” Remus hadn’t been entirely in the dark before this, but he was sure of his hunch now. “Have you wet yourself?”

Severus flinched, looking back at his notebook, not because he needed to write, though he did, but to avoid watching Remus as he decided his punishment. ~Yes.~

“That’s alright.”

Severus was so shocked he nearly said ‘what’ out loud, but caught himself and just wrote it.

“It’s okay, it was just an accident. I sort of expected it anyway.”

Severus Snape, a past soldier, double spy, youngest potion master ever, was expected to piss himself in his ex-enemy-ex-friend-ex-lover-ex?enemy’s bed. Oh, how he had fallen.

“Severus?”

~Please help.~ Was all he managed, deciding that he was finally so low that even that couldn’t bring shame; everything else was much worse.

“Of course. By the looks of it you’ll probably need a bath and new shirt too, not just some new pants and paper towels, or the adult wipes I bought.”

~Adult wipes?~

“Like baby wipes but bigger to accommodate the larger bodies of older children, teens, and adults who need them for diapers or whatever.”

Severus wanted to protest that he didn’t wear diapers, didn’t need them, but the latter was a lie and the former was likely to be untrue soon as well. At least he wouldn’t have to change his clothes ten or so times a day anymore…as if he had changed them even once a day before now.

“How do you feel about diapers?” Remus asked as he stripped him in front of the filling bath, but waited until Severus was sitting again and could grab the notebook for a response. 

~Did you buy them?~

“Yes.”

~Then I’ll wear them.~

“You don’t have to.” Remus assured. “I don’t want to make you feel like you’re making my life hard with the extra clothes changes or anything or like you’re wasting my money if you don’t wear them. I just wanted them to be an option immediately if you did want to.”

~I don’t want to, but I have to.~

“No you don’t.”

~I leak and wet too much for a pad or pullup to work, anyway if I’m going that far I mine as well just use a diaper. And I can’t use nothing. I don’t want to have to change a million times a day or have everyone around me know what’s happening.~

“Alright, then, diapers it is. I think I’ll probably have to change you now for the same reason I’m helping with clothes and baths and packing you. But, once you get stronger from the food and such, you can do it by yourself.”

He really didn’t want to have to do that. He didn’t want Remus to do it either, but the latter option was slightly better. Still, it didn’t seem like he had a choice.

“Or I can keep changing you if you want, I don’t care either way.” Remus added, switching off the tap. “Now this should be quick as I’m just going to use a washcloth and a little soap on your lower back to your knees as that’s all that seems to be affected.” And then he was in the tub.

Severus couldn’t decide if this was the best experience yet, or the worst. On one hand: it was the quickest and he at least had the defense of being asleep at the time. On the other hand: this was his second time wetting his pants at Remus’s house in less than twelve hours of being there and after coming with urine and feces stained clothes.

This was not a good day.

Soon enough, though, he was dry, the water was gone, and he was dressed in another pair of gray sweatpants—how many pairs did Remus have? Merlin—and a black tee. No diaper, though, which was a bit disappointing for some reason. He remembered what Remus said about his genitals breathing, which was probably necessary even with the potions, but still, he didn’t like his chances of not needing a new outfit before tomorrow. 

As he was set in his customary chair, Severus became less sure of the meal. He didn’t want to say anything to Remus and get in trouble or kicked out when everything was going so well, but this also seemed like it could be dangerous. 

“What’s wrong?” Remus asked after a few minutes of Severus not eating. “I can get you something else if you don’t like that.”

~No, I’m sorry, it’s fine.~

“Are you sure?”

~Is this safe?~ He had to ask.

“Safe?”

~What about refeeding syndrome?~ 

“Oh, no!” Remus rushed to assure immediately understanding where the anxiety was coming from. “I guess you were too frazzled to notice at the time but the potion I gave you to help expand your stomach was Dilatio Ventris. Because of the way it works, refeeding syndrome isn’t a problem as long as you take it after every meal for a month or so, depending on how long it’s necessary.”

~Oh, okay. Sorry.~ Dilatio Ventris, of course, he should have known that from the acrid smell and moss green color. 

What kind of potion master, ex-potions teacher was he?

He managed a small slice of pizza, three drinks of the Dr. Pepper, and one bite of a brownie Remus got from the pizza parlor

“I’m going to go put new sheets and stuff on my bed as that cleaning solution stuff should be done doing whatever it does by now.” Remus explained at 8:00 after the two spent forty minutes in the mysterious room, the living room, together—Remus reading, Severus staring at the floor. “You can change whatever you want about your room, by the way, I just wanted to get everything put up so you wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

A nod as his gaze was still pointed towards the hardwood. 

“Do you want to sleep in my bed with me tonight?”

He was no longer staring at the floor. 

“Just where you’re not wearing a diaper until tomorrow you’ll probably wet the bed and I have to change back to my usual sheets in the morning anyway, so it just seems easier. If it makes you uncomfortable being in bed with me, I’ll sleep somewhere else.”

~Okay, we can share.~ Severus eventually wrote. ~But what if I get you wet? Or do something other than just wet?~

“I take a shower in the morning when I first get up, it makes me feel more awake, so that doesn’t matter.”

~But what if I—~ How to say this without sounding crass or like a three year old?

“It’s the same thing, really, no big deal.” Remus promised. “Okay?”

~Okay.~ He eventually agreed, but didn’t really believe it. That was way worse than just pissing himself.

“Great!” And then Severus was alone. Again.

Why did Remus trust him so much?