Discussing Things
Severus’s POV
Once the two were back in their initial positions around the table Severus was given the notebook and pen back and was instructed to use it to communicate if he still couldn’t, or more accurately wouldn’t, verbalize. He wouldn’t.
“So, what exactly do you want to do in general?” Remus asked, but Severus was barely paying attention. The much needed calories were increasing his mental and physical energy, but they could only do so much, especially with all the effort he had already used and very little he had eaten.
~What?~
“Well, first of all, you obviously can’t keep living in that house, but I don’t really expect you to live here. I mean: you definitely can if you want, you’re more than welcome, but if you want to live somewhere else I more than understand. But, I do need to know now so I can either help you move here, or find your own house.”
Which was safer: a lion’s den or a small cave in the center of millions of lion's dens? ~Here.~ He quickly insisted, not wanting to give up this safe feeling, as little as it was, greatly overshadowed by fear and discomfort and a little anger, which he wouldn’t be able to provide himself. He couldn’t bathe or brush his teeth or do his hair or change clothes or shop or anything on his own. He needed someone, needed…help, technically he could find someone else, but here Remus already was, practically begging to do it. Maybe this was a trap, maybe it would lead to pain, or death, but if so he deserved it.
“You want to stay here?”
~Please.~ He might cry if this was denied to him; the one thing he had wanted except perhaps to die in at least half-a-decade.
“Of course. What stuff from your old house do you want?”
~Nothing.~ Nothing there was his, just stuff left over from before his parents deaths, he wouldn’t want it anyway.
“What about your wand?”
~I don’t need it.~
“But, you can’t produce much magic without it?”
~Exactly.~
“How about this: I’ll leave the house and everything in it be just as it is, but bring your wand here and put it up. That way you don’t have to have or use it now, but if you change your mind you’ll know where it is and won’t have to worry about it being broken or dead or stolen.”
~Fine, but I don’t want to see it.~
“Works for me.” Remus easily agreed. “I’ll do it later, so you don’t have to go back there if you don’t want to.”
~Okay.~
“My room is the first one on the right and the first on the left is empty except furniture, but the second room on both sides have some storage and extra stuff for my friends when they stay over, clothes in their size and such. Because of that I think it would be easiest for you to take the first room on the left side, and its connected private bathroom, but if you really want one of the other rooms, you can have it.”
~First left is fine.~
“Alright, well, you need pretty much everything. Some stuff like toiletries I can handle on my own, but what about clothes and other personal belongings? I can buy them for you, but you’ll need to tell me what.”
~I don’t know.~
“What style of clothes do you want?”
~I don’t know.~
“Jeans? Leggings? Skirts? Tee-shirts? Crop-tops? Tank-tops? Ballshoes? Heels? Boots? What?”
~I don’t know.~
“Do you know what colors you like?”
~No.~
“What things like puzzles and books and movies you’d like?”
~No.~
“Do you know anything about yourself, your wants, or needs?”
How was he supposed to? He had never been anyone. First a pawn to do what his parents wanted, then a double spy, then…whatever you called the past four years. He had no time to decide whether he liked pants or dresses, red or yellow. ~No.~
“I guess I’ll just have to get a little bit of everything. Any food or drink or snack preferences?”
~No.~
“Any allergies?”
~No.~
“Alright, it’s not quite two o’clock yet, so I should be able to get all your stuff by dinner, then I can get us some takeout. You can do whatever you want until I get back. Is that okay?”
He really didn’t want to be left alone when he was barely strong enough to stand by himself for a few seconds, but going out was worse and Remus didn't seem to see this as a negotiable situation. Severus was getting new stuff whether he liked it or not. ~Yes, okay.~
“I’ll go now, then. We still have a lot to talk about, but it can wait. Before I leave though, I want to make it clear to you, you can do whatever you want. This is your house too, now.”
~I can’t even walk.~ Severus pointed out, heart pounding at the idea of this being seen as sarcastic, at him being punished for that fact.
“That’s true.” Remus admitted. “What do you want to do?”
~Sleep.~ That’s all he ever wanted to do.
“Fair enough. I’ll take you up to my room then and you can sleep on my bed; it’s the only comfortable place to sleep right now.”
Severus would have protested, but Remus didn’t really give him time, scooping him up and packing him to the bed. And by that point Severus lost all reservations.
The sheet was a bit rough, but in a good way, he loved rubbing his hands over it, the pillows were soft and thick and fluffy, and the comforter. Severus had never felt anything better; all he wanted to do was bury under the blanket and live there forever.
That wasn’t allowed, but Remus, for some reason, was just fine in letting him do it now, for a few hours.
“Sleep well.” Was the last thing he heard before being left to his own devices with the best bed, only bed, he had seen in years.
This was doable.