War of the Roses

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Multi
G
War of the Roses
Characters
Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Voldemort (Harry Potter), Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Kreacher (Harry Potter), Albus Dumbledore & Harry Potter, Blaise Zabini's Mother, Harry Potter/Voldemort, Harry Potter & Voldemort, Kreacher & Harry Potter, Zabini Family (Harry Potter), Harry Potter & mrs. zabini
Tags
Murder Torture Crack Politics Crack Treated Seriously Mental Health Issues Dark Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter) Pureblood Society (Harry Potter) Death Eaters Paranoia Insanity Letters Seduction Wizarding Culture (Harry Potter) Harry Potter Has Issues It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You History Black Widow - Freeform This will be fucked up not actual romance
Summary
Harry is about to go crazy. He literally watched Voldemort kill Cedric, and Dumbledore carted him off to the Dursleys. No updates. No training. No nothing. Worse, his so-called "friends" are falling in line. How on Earth is he supposed to kill the Git-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named if he's stuck at Privet Drive pruning roses and starving instead of getting dueling lessons?No. Harry IS crazy. He must be, because why else is he drafting a letter to Blaise Zabini's mum asking for advice on how to kill the Dark Lout?

white roses

Dear Mrs. Zabini,

My name is Harry Potter. You've probably heard of me before, considering I go to school with your son Blaise. He and I aren't close or anything but I am kind of famous or something. I imagine he probably wrote to you about me cheating in the TriWizard Tournament or something (I didn't!). I am not writing to you about him, though. I am writing to you because of your reputation.

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back, and I must kill him. The word on the street is that you were neutral in the last war cause you didn't really care about the thing the Death Eaters had going on. Instead you were working on killing one of your husbands. One of my friends says your whole black widow reputation is just heresy and misogyny.

I agree.

You should be renowned for your skill at getting away with it. If you were a man people wouldn't be nearly as critical. They'd probably just say some tripe about you being a romantic or something. Tragic, maybe.

Anyways, if you're not actually a black widow please disregard this letter; I hope your luck turns around soon or something.

If you are, I'd appreciate advise on killing You-Know-Who.

Thanks,

HP

TO
Heir Apparent Harold Jameson
of the M. Anc. & M. Nob. House Potter,

The Most Ancient and Most Noble House Zabini formally acknowledges your request for information and alliance. The illustrious Lady Artemisia of House Zabini will entertain you via secure mirror connection this Tuesday at 1:00PM your time. Please plan accordingly.

We do not accommodate appointment changes.

The Lady Zabini sends her best.

 

HER MOST OBEDIENT SERVANT,
SIR MERCURY ZABINI, ESQ
SON of the M. Anc.& M. Nob. House Zabini
INTL. BARRISTER ASSOC.

 

PS

Mirror in attached package.