Meeting again
Minerva watched as the ministry nurse, without apparent gentleness, picked up the child and wrapped him in a blanket before placing him into her arms. "No medical check-up here, then?" she asked.
"He is going to be taken care of by the nurse of Hogwarts, Poppy Pomfrey", Albus said, eager to leave the infirmary. "This was arranged a few days ago."
The nurse nodded. "Madam McGonagall and yourself may sign the remaining paperwork and leave, sir. We advise you to apparate before the child wakes up."
Poppy was waiting for them at the school's entrance. From a distance, she looked anxiously at the green pile of blankets Minerva was holding against her chest - there he was, then. Severus, small enough to be held by the deputy headmistress.
"He does not look like he is four, Poppy", was the first thing Minerva told her as they made their way towards the hospital wing.
With almost exaggerated gentleness, she lowered Severus onto one of the beds: there, the three adults finally had the chance to take a proper look at him. He definitely looked younger than they had thought he would; he had a pale face and an odd-looking nose, a nose that had yet to grow and be broken. He had a thick head of hair, badly cut just a little above his small chin - some of its strands were even curly.
Poppy gently pulled off the blanket, revealing a bruised and thin body. Minerva gasped.
"What happened to him? It isn't the potion, is it?"
"No", Poppy answered, "that was done to him when he was four."
Albus looked away.
"And he is four", she added. "But he obviously suffers from light malnutrition, that is why he looks younger. I had expected it – I ordered paediatric potions, some of them for nutrition, others pure vitamins. Given his condition, you will have to be careful he does not catch every illness going around in the castle. I would prefer if he only met a restricted number of people for the next two months."
She sat down to write the list of potions he was to be given, adding both the time and amount. "It is a pity it's October, in Scotland nonetheless. That boy looks like he never saw the sun."
Albus brushed the boy's raven hair, smiling slightly at the sleeping child.
Minerva, on the other hand, looked disturbed, still staring at the bruises that contrasted sharply with the boy's almost transparent skin. Why were they so calm?
"You mean his parents beat him", she said in a quavering voice.
Albus corrected. "His father. I suspect his mother suffered the same fate."
Minerva looked at the headmaster in horror.
"Why didn't I know that? I was his teacher!"
The boy stirred slightly in his sleep, but did not wake up.
"Medical records are private unless there is an emergency", Poppy said. "And by the time he was eleven, Severus was already a gifted little wizard who, I think, knew perfectly how to heal himself using spells, and then potions. He only got home during the summer holidays, if I am not mistaken. Of course I had questions – he swore no one was hurting him. His explanations were plausible, and he was always involved in fights with James Potter and Sirius Black… Then he took the habit of avoiding the hospital wing altogether."
"I sent both muggle and magic social services to his home in his second year. Nothing to report", the headmaster added sadly. "I had no proof".
Minerva looked into Albus' eyes. "You knew."
The older man sat on the edge of the bed, staring uneasily at the boy. "What else could I do? He did not want to say anything. Tobias Snape knew what to tell the social workers. I did not have a case."
But Minerva was beside herself. She wouldn't scream for Severus' sake; she spoke in a very cold, low voice, one that wasn't unlike that of their former Potions Master.
"You should have requested a medical examination by ministry officials and professionals. You should have brought his mother to Hogwarts. You should have talked to the boy yourself; for all I know, the only time he was in your office was when you threatened him with expulsion in his fifth year. You knew perfectly well that Horace was not suited for the job - it was your duty to look after the boy. I failed to notice as his teacher; I was not his Head of House, and as such I was not aware of any family issue or of your suspicions. I know… I know I was blinded by prejudices. Even afterwards, I suppose. I know why it was so easy not to pay attention. So why are you, Albus, still looking for excuses? The boy is covered in bruises at age four. We all failed him."
She looked at Poppy who was applying a healing salve on Severus' pale skin, refusing to speak. She felt that it was not her place to lecture her.
"You must understand, Albus", Minerva added, "I cannot trust you with this child if you keep refusing to question your present and past behaviours."
The headmaster was not used to being addressed in such a manner; he was not used to being criticized and judged, especially by his deputy headmistress. His first instinct was to defend himself. But he watched as Poppy dressed the still sleeping boy in a green robes too large for him, and, after a while, finally lowered his gaze.
"I swore I would protect him. That I would not fail him again. This means… This means I know I was not there to protect him when he needed it, Minerva."
The transfiguration teacher gently picked up the child and pressed him against her chest. A new kind of warmth, one that she had never experienced before, filled her heart. Was it really the Severus that she knew? The tall and sarcastic and angry man who would rather bleed to death than admit to any weakness?
"We need to talk about this as soon as possible, Albus. We must make sure all our students are properly looked after, especially now... with particular focus on the Slytherins."
It still cost her to admit it.
Poppy finally spoke.
"We should bring him to your quarters now, he is going to wake up soon. I don't know how he is going to react, or what his state of mind is going to be."
Minerva lowered the child onto the living room couch. Poppy took out several vials from a brown bag that Albus, in turn, placed on the table in front of them. He then sat next to the boy.
"Severus", he said in a soft voice, "Severus, wake up child."
The boy did not open his eyes and only mumbled something unintelligible. They all smiled at the sound of his voice – of course it would sound so juvenile. For a moment, Minerva put her resentment toward Albus aside and sat beside him, gently nudging the child's arm. Though he had that unmistakable raven hair, it was very hard for her to make a connection between this child and the Severus she knew.
"Come on, Severus, you need to wake up now", she whispered.
The very small child finally opened his eyes, rubbing them childishly. He looked up at the three adults, and there was no doubt left in their minds that he indeed was their Severus: these black eyes could belong to no one else.
The boy gasped in fear.
"Ush, Severus," Albus said softly, careful not to touch the boy. He had always disliked physical touch as an adult, and it had perhaps started at a young age. "Don't be afraid, we won't hurt you. It's okay."
The boy retreated to the back of the couch, looking frantically around him.
"It isn't my bedroom", he said fearfully, as if talking to himself. Minerva smiled to him.
"Yes, Severus, this is my house. You must not be afraid, we are here to take care of you now."
Severus looked at her, his big black eyes filling up with tears.
"I must be home or dad will be angry", he just said, starting to sob. Poppy knelt in front of him, holding a blanket. "Would you let me put this around you, Severus? You are shivering."
The boy neither moved nor answered. Slowly, she started wrapping him in the blanket, surprised that he did not protest at all, then brushed a strand of black hair from his eyes.
"I know it may seem odd, Severus, but your parents are not here anymore. Your father will not be angry because we will care for you now."
The boy started sobbing, obviously trying - and failing - to hold back his tears.
"That's not true," he said, "they are here!"
Minerva shook her head, lowering herself at his level.
"No, Severus, they are gone now, and we will be taking care of you. Would you like to know who we are?"
They had agreed they would not explain to Severus he had been an adult; these years would be part of his childhood, if what he had been through before could be called a childhood.
"I – I want my mum", Severus replied, retreating inside the blanket. "My mum isn't gone."
"Unfortunately, she is, dear boy", Albus answered softly. "But she asked us to take care of you because she trusts us, mmh? She said she knew you would be happy at Hogwarts."
The boy sniffed. "Hogwarts?"
He looked at the three adults. They seemed to be kind – they did not shout, or snear, they did not call him bad names. But he did not understand; his mother would not leave him.
Albus nodded. "Yes, dear boy, Hogwarts. May I... may I pick you up?"
He received no clear answer. Slowly, he wrapped Severus in his arms, allowing his thin frame to rest against his chest. The child looked uncomfortable, not used to being shown this kind of affection, and remained stiff in his embrace.
"So, Severus," Albus pursued, "this is Hogwarts. It is a school for witches and wizards and I am – I am the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. Minerva”, he pointed at his colleague, "is a professor here, as well as deputy headmistress, and you are going to live with her. And Poppy is the nurse at the school, she is very kind, too. You see? There is nothing to afraid of."
"But I should be home", Severus mumbled in reply.
"This is your home, now, Severus", Minerva said.
"Mum said she liked Hogwarts", the little boy said in her direction. "She said she was a… a Sle…"
"A Slytherin", she replied, amused.
"Yes", he whispered shyly.
"And she was a very good, very clever student, Severus," Albus told him. "She was very good at History of Magic and Potions, if I remember correctly."
"Y'cannot do potions, potions are bad", Severus said anxiously, grasping the blanket and pulling it closer to himself.
"Why, Severus?", Poppy asked, genuinely surprised. Of all the things a future Potions Master would say...
"No magic", Severus only offered as an answer.
Minerva and Albus shared a look of common understanding.
"But we are in a school of magic now, Severus", Minerva said comfortingly. "Potions are allowed here, and we teach magic. Isn't that great?"
"No", the boy answered in the same feeble voice, "Dad will say I'm bad if I do magic."
Albus could not help but let out an angry sigh. Had Tobias Snape not been dead already –
"You are not bad, Severus. It is your father that was bad for telling you so. Magic is wonderful - we will show you everything you want to see."
Gently, Minerva wiped away the tears off the child's face with a handkerchief, smiling with satisfaction as he did not recoil.
"Mum knows I'm here?", Severus asked her shyly, finding comfort in the way she looked at him. Minerva nodded.
"Yes, and you will be happy with us, Severus dear. I promise."
"Mum says not to talk to strangers… It is bad… I am naughty."
"We can have someone from the Ministry of Magic come over and tell you all about your new situation, if you'd like, dear boy", Albus intervened.
"But you are not", Minerva said firmly, "a naughty child. You are a wonderful child and we will love you very much."
Severus looked doubtful. He paled.
"But you don't know me", he just said, the seriousness on his face contrasting deeply with his young age. They could almost see some of the facial expressions the Potions Master sported so often.
They all smiled.
"But we do, Severus," Albus said. "We heard a lot about you and we will learn to know each other now, mmh?"
He looked so much like his Severus, the headmaster thought fondly.
"Now, what would you say about a meal? I am sure you must be hungry", Poppy offered.
She knew for a fact the boy was starving; her diagnosing spells did not lie.
The boy looked up at the mention of food, only to start fidgeting again. He had been punished and should not receive anything to eat, his father would be mad. He did not want dad to be mad… If he did everything right dad would perhaps be happy again, and all would be well for some time.
"Well, Severus? What do you think?" Minerva asked comfortingly.
Feeling the child anxiously retreating on his lap, Albus guessed what was bothering him. He had seen more than he had wanted to know during Severus' first occlumency lessons, when he was just twenty. Eating had never been straightforward for the child, and this had remained a problem throughout his adulthood.
"Your father cannot find you here, Severus dear. He won't be angry."
The boy did not seem to know what to think of that. Perhaps he did like his father despite the way he treated him; like many abused children, perhaps he clung to anything that hinted at his father’s love, and perhaps Tobias Snape had sometimes been kind to his child, spent some time with him. But Severus' fear of his father seemed to weigh heavily in the balance.
"You promise, sir?" he said, despite being desperate to refuse the food. His breathing had grown irregular.
"Ush, Severus", Albus murmured, stroking his hair. "We promise. And call me Albus."
"Yo-you promise, Al… Albus?" he repeated doubtfully.
"I do, Severus. Look", the headmaster, slowly took out his wand. Murmuring a spell, he drew a white cross in the air, right between Severus' little hand and his own left hand. "This means I promise with magic. I cross my heart."
It was something his mother and father used to do when he was a child. Magic always left little children speechless if it was used parsimoniously, and it indeed worked with Severus, who looked at the headmaster's wand in awe.
Gently, Albus put Severus on his feet. Poppy held his hand to make sure he would not fall, aware that the boy would still be faint at this stage. She only let go when she was certain that he was steady enough. His big eyes scanned the room with worry.
"I am going to call a house-elf, Severus", Minerva explained. "They are people who help us here at Hogwarts, especially with the meals. You must always be polite to them, alright?"
Severus nodded apprehensively. He watched, without a word, as one of the little creatures appeared in the room.
"Good evening, madame and professors, sir", the house elf said cheerfully. "How can Oky serve you tonight?"
"We would like something to eat, please," Minerva said. She turned to the child next to her. "This is Severus, Oky. What would you like to eat, dear?"
"I- I don't know", the boy replied in a slightly panicked tone. What did he want to eat? Everything. Was he allowed to eat? Was he allowed to ask? What would dad say? He should never ask for anything.
"We have mashed potatoes, Severus, sir" Oky said gently. "With sauce, and soy meatballs, and lentils and bread. And juice, if mister Severus wants?"
Minerva knelt beside the boy, eying him expectantly. "Would you like that, Severus?"
The boy nodded eagerly.
"And what juice would you like, dear?"
Severus looked away uneasily. Juice? He did not know what that was – he did not want the nice lady to think he was stupid. Albus came to his rescue. He knew what kind of fruit juice Severus enjoyed as an adult, and guessed it would do just fine with the little one.
"Severus will take apricot juice, Oky, thank you.” The child nodded frenetically, relief rushing through his body. Minerva led him to the dinner table. “Would you bring today's meal to us as well? And dessert, of course."
"I need you to take some potions for me, Severus", Poppy then told him. "They will help you get stronger." She sat beside him, taking out the remaining potions from her bag. Despite his anxiety, Severus looked at them with interest.
"This one is- "
"A calming draught", the boy said excitedly, his eyes locked on the small vial.
"Indeed, Severus! What a clever boy you are", Poppy exclaimed happily. She meant to ask him how he knew that, but she quickly chose to avoid questioning him, guessing it would most likely remind him of his mother.
Severus, for his part, was glowing. Being complimented was so rare - he felt he would like the nurse lady. This thought rapidly vanished, though, as he tasted the potion, and grimaced. His adult self made the exact same face – Minerva chuckled.
"Here, child, have something to eat now", Albus said, placing a plate in front of him. "It will taste better, you will see."
The dinner was a pure delight for the child. He had never eaten something so good; after the first bite, he devoured the food quickly, sometimes frantically looking up as if he feared something would happen to him while he was not watching.
"Please slow down, Severus. You will upset your stomach", Poppy warned him.
Severus immediately stopped eating, looking fearfully at the nurse. He did not mean to eat too quickly. Would she be mad? Would she take the food away? Would she call his father?
Minerva gave him his glass. "It's okay, Severus. We just want you to eat slowly or your tummy is going to hurt tonight. And we don't want that, mmh? Take a sip."
Reassured, the child carefully took a few more bites before putting his fork back down, glancing at the adults. Was it okay if he didn't finish? He did not mean to waste.
"Are you not hungry anymore, Severus?" Albus asked gently. "You did not eat much. Is there anything more you would like?"
Severus stared at him apprehensively, remembering he was always to be polite and not to cry in front of others. The nurse did not look happy and he felt ashamed.
"I – I don't want to waste food, sir but – but I'm not hungry anymore, I'm sorry - sorry, sir- "
"But it is okay, dear boy, you need not finish your place if you cannot. We will save it for later. Did you like it?"
Severus nodded eagerly. "Oky's a very good cook", he said timidly, rubbing his eyes.
Minerva looked at the clock above her fireplace. "I think it is time to go to bed, Severus. Poppy said you would be very tired for a while. I will show you your room, alright?"
Severus felt his heart sink. They were sending him home. His father would be furious, he would shout at him and mum – without warning, he started sobbing. He liked it here, the grown-ups seemed nice, it was warm and welcoming, they did magic in front of him; it felt like a dream was being taken away from him.
Immediately, Minerva was by his side, not knowing if she should touch him or not, attempting to smile reassuringly though she herself felt uneasy. Oh, why did the child keep crying? She wished she knew how to comfort him, she hoped she would get better at understanding him.
"Dad will be mad", he mumbled through his tears.
"Severus", she said softly, taking his hand, “you are not going home, do you understand? You live with me now, and your new bedroom is here at Hogwarts. There is no reason to be afraid, darling."
Severus could not remember ever being spoken to in such a gentle manner. He gazed at the witch beside him with a good deal of confusion painted over his little face, tears falling silently.
"I am Severus Snape", he said in a tiny, disappointed voice, nearly apologetic.
Minerva and the others frowned.
"Yes, Severus I know that. Why are you saying this?"
"Because, because", the young boy managed through his tears, "you must have mistaken me for another Severus."
Minerva simply wiped away his tears, still smiling.
"No, you are the boy we want", she told him quietly. "Severus Snape, with black hair, born in Cokeworth. Is that you?"
With an astonished look on his face, Severus nodded. So it was really him they wanted!
"Then you see, there is no mistake", she told him softly, stroking his hair. "I do not think there are many Severuses around. You are staying with us."