The Gaunt Legacy - Prequel

POV Sebastian

I woke up to another dull day, hangover again, wishing I had died in my sleep. Unfortunately I was caught up by reality. I got out of bed heading for the kitchen. I was about to make breakfast when I realised I wasn’t even hungry, or had no desire to feed my body was more like it. So I just sat there instead.
That’s when it hit me when I saw the calendar, today was Anne’s birthday, or would have been, which also meant it was mine too. It wasn’t my first birthday without her. While she wouldn’t talk to me, I spent them in a library, in search for a cure. All these years I had missed when I could have been with her. Spending my birthdays alone pained me of course, but it was nothing like the agonising pain I could feel in my heart today. because I no longer had purpose in life, it all vanished when Ominis cast me aside.
I just wished for my suffering to stop, and today was a good day to make it end once and for all I thought. Then I could spend the rest of eternity with my family.

But how would I achieve that ? I guess the easiest way would be either cutting my wrists or hanging. I opted for the second option.
I poured myself one last drink, to toast to Anne’s birthday and say my farewells to my shitty life, then summoned a rope with my wand. I then placed it around the plank with Wingardium leviosa, and made a finishing knot.
I placed the chair beneeth, now standing on it and settled the rope around my cervix as I tied a loop around my neck.
Should I have said goodbye to Ominis and Valerian ? No, they would have stopped me anyway for selfish reasons. They would have my death on their conscience, that’s all. They woud be glad to see the back of me.
I was eager to reunite with my family. But I also felt nervous, though I’m not sure why. This is for the best. I am doing the right thing I thought.
Now, let’s begin.

_________________________________________________________________

POV Ominis

I woke up with a strange feeling in my gut today. Was I sick ? It didn’t feel that way.
Valerian was waking up gently by my side.
« Good morning my love » she said lovingly.
« Good morning to you too » I replied affectionately before I kissed her lips.
I felt worn out from dawn these days. I couldn’t get Sebastian out of my mind, his betrayal had broken my heart. What wa he up to now ? Was he using dark magic ? I choose do believe he wouldn’t.
He looked very glum these past few days. I guess it was to be expected as I chose to keep my distance for now. I couldn’t figure out why he was allured by dark magic when it only caused pain and destruction, and mostly death. My instinct had been trying to warn me for so long. I wasn’t sure I could face Sebastian if he became a dark wizard as I would have to be the one to stop him, and that frightened me, it always had.
I had been ignoring that problem for too long. But he was my best friend, shouldn’t I have more faith in him ? Valerian still believes in him, though she hasn’t suffered countless times because of his fake promises. And now I couldn’t bring myself to trust him again. Maybe Valerian was right, he would fail a couple more times before he would finally learn his lesson. Perhaps I should give him another chance to prove to me he is still worthy. I was only fearful he would crush my heart again.
Ahh all this was pure torture ! All these doubts and uncertanties were so fustrating !
« Are you thinking about Sebastian again ? » she said saddly as she got out of bed.
« … Yes. My mind is still conflicted » I admitted annoyed.
« Then perhaps you should speak to him once more » suggested Valerian.
« If I did, he would convince me to gorgive him again. I’m not sure I can yet, though I wished I could » I expalined sorrowful.
I then stood up to get out of bed, but felt a warm wave traverse my body and my head spin. I had to sit for a moment. Valerian rushed by my side.
« What’s the matter, are you ok ? » she urged worried.
« I’m … ok. I feel … something is off » I declared weakly holding my head into my hands.
« You might be ill » indicated Valerian concerned.
« No. That’s not it. Don’t worry my love, I’ll be fine » I replied perplex.
She stoke my hair affectionately and kissed my cheek.
« We ought to get ready before we miss our classes » I suggested.
She made sure I could stand before letting go of me.
« This situation is affecting you more than you’d like to admit, Ominis. I strongly believe it’s time you and Sebastian have another talk » she insisted.
I chuckled. It was so beautiful having someone caring about me or my feelings.
« I will » I promised.
« Today ? » she urged.
« Yes today. Oh Merlin ! » I uttered as I remembered something important.
« What ? » she asked startled.
« It’s … Sebastian’s birthday today. I had completely forgotten » I recalled painfully.
« Oh really ? That’s so ... » she started enthousiastically.
But then she reminiced our current situation and her sudden change of tone implied she was probably feeling sorrowful.
I went by her side and hugged her.
« Promise me you won’t let him spend his birthday all alone. That’s the worst thing ever » she demanded empathical.
« I won’t. You have my word » I pledged.

After getting ready, we headed for our first class hand in hand. I was searching for Sebastian, wanting to wish him a happy birthday. How stupid of me, I couldn’t wish him that, because he was nothing short of miserable at the moment, all the contrary of happy.
That’s when I thought of Anne, it would have been her birthday too. I missed her dearly. Sebastian must be feeling pretty low-spirited right now.
As the lesson was about to start, I searched for my friend once more, but he was nowhere to be found. Knowing him, he won’t be showing up today. He probably didn’t want to face me and thought he could use a break on this special day.
I felt awful and wasn’t pleased with the way I had been treated him for the past few days. I had been wanting to talk to him several times, but like a coward I abandoned the idea each time. But not today. It was his birthday and I won’t let him down.
« Valerian, forgive me, but there’s somewhere I need to be today. Will you be fine on your own ? » I demanded sweetly.
« Of course I’ll be fine. I’m glad you came to your senses » she scolded kindly.
I smiled then sneaked my way out of the room. I knew Professor Katona male had seen me, but I couldn’t give a toss right now. My best friend needed me.

I then apparated in our house at Feltcroft.
« Sebastian ? Are you there ? » I shouted.
I couldn’t hear a sound, nor see his shadow. Maybe he was in he garden, by Anne’s grave. But it was odd, I should still be able to see his shadow.
I was marching towards the exit when I bumbed into something that was on my path. It was even stranger to think I could’t see the shadow of whatever it was.
I placed my hands to feel it.
That’s when my heart skipped a beat. I felt the shape of a hand. I couldn’t make out this situation.
« Sebastian ?! » I urged.
If it were him, he wasn’t answering. It was definitely his sent. He was standing right in front of me, yet I couldn’t see his shadow. That’s when I realised his hand was almost the same hight my chest was. So I kept moving my hands up, in search of his face and realised it was out of reach. What was he doing up there ? Why couldn’t I see his shadow ?
That’s when it hit me. There was only one reason I could’t see him. Oh Merlin no !
« Sebastian ?!! » I shouted in vain as I started panicking.
My heart was pounding as the realization hit me like a ton of brick. Was he dead ? No. That’s not possible. NO.
My chest was moving up and down as I was breathing heavily. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t think straight.
I tried hard to focus and not start a panic attack. Think Ominis. How is he up there ?
That’s when I saw the shadow of the fallen chair on the floor. Did he try to… kill himself ? My heart was beating even faster, my mind going wild. But I had to focus. If there was a chair, then that meant … he tried to hang himself ! That would mean … there’s a rope !
I immediately stepped back and cast Diffindo as I heard a loud sound. That was his body falling to the floor I think.
Tears were running down my cheeks as I my mind went blank for half a second as I tried to process what had just happened.
Then I rushed down to his side trying to figure out where his head was, needing to make sure it was him though I knew deep down it was him. And when my hands reached his face, I could definitely tell it was Sebastian.
My hands were so shaky I almost lost the grip on my wand.
« Sebastian ? Please no ! Sebastian ? » I cried freaking out.
My mind was all over the place. I tried to feel a pulse placing two fingers on the side of his neck, but there was nothing.
No. He couldn’t be dead. Please no. My world suddenly turned upside down.
I grabbed his body, placing it against me ans I sobbed uncontrollably, shouting his name. This couldn’t be the end. After everything we’d been through, he couldn’t die like this and abandon me ! But I was the one who abandoned him. All this was my fault ! How could I have been so selfish ? He’s my best friend and I wasn’t there for him, again !
I felt revoltuion towards myself. My face was soaked with my tears and my heart agonizing I thought it would stop beating. The world suddenly became irrational, everything I thought I knew suddenly vanished. I didn’t know where I was nor who I was, there was only terror left in my mind and soul.
I couldn’t let this happen. There’s got to be something I could do. He couldn’t be gone. I refused to believe that.
The hospital, yes. Let’s take him there. He might yet be saved I thought as I quivered in a state of shock.
I waisted no further time as I apparated at Saint-Mungo.
« Please help me !!! Please !!!! » I shouted with all the breath in my lungs.
I saw shadows rush to my side as they pulled me back. I could do nothing but watch, feeling powerless. I could see all these shadows around a blank space, where Sebastian was laying, massaging his heart to get it starting again.
« Please save him ... » I begged with my quivering voice as I couldn’t stop weeping.
I would never forgive myself if he died today. I was frozen in place, unable to move nor speak as guilt and remorse made way through my heart along side terror, the fear of losing him was unbearable. I was having trouble breathing now, desperately seeking air that wouldn’t come into my lungs. My heart was going to implode, I felt dizzy and my legs grew weak. I lost my balance and fell on my knees to the floor making loud noises as I struggled to inhale.
And that’s when I saw Sebastian’s green colour starting glowing again.
Was this real ? Or was it an illusion due to the lack of air in my lungs ? Was I losing it ?
My vision was fading slowly.
I heard him inhale sharply, as if he had been resurected.
He was alive ! Relief was the last emotion I felt before I passed out on the hospital floor unable to breathe properly.

When I opened my eyes, everything was dark. I tried to recall where I was. I could smell antiseptics and soaps. I was familiar with this smell thanks to Anne, I now knew where I was, at the hospital.
Sebastian ! Where was he ? Was he alright ? I remember him breathing and saw his shadow glowing before I passed out. My wand ! I need to find my wand !
My mind was all over the place and my heart pouding rapidly.
I immediately rose up and heard my fiancé’s alluring voice.
« Oh Ominis ! You’re awake thank god ! » cried Valerian as she threw her arms around me, hugging me dearly.
« Sebastian ! Where is he ?! How is he ?! » I urged as I embraced her.
I was holding my breath praying Merlin he was alive and out of danger.
« He’s alive » she replied to my ear.
I felt I could now breathe properly and exhale loudly. I then couldn’t resist the necessity to weep evacuating all the trauma and stress. There were tears of pain and relief. I felt submerged by a wave of emotions and let it all out.
Valerian hugged me tighter as she stroke the back of my head.
« It’s ok Ominis. He’ll be fine. We’ll look after him, you and I » she murmured calmly to help me relax.
I nodded my head as I place it in the crook of her neck, my tears soaking her delicate skin.
It took me a while to calm down as exhaustion hit me suddenly.
I let go of Valerian and took her hand instead.
« Here, your wand. Take it » she said as she placed in in my free hand.
That’s when I saw her shadow light up.
« Would you like to see him ? » she said softly.
I was unable to speak so I nodded instead. She pulled me gently as I got down the bed and followed her out. We walked to the room next door. As we were approaching, I could see is shadow becoming brighter and it soothed my heart.
We entered the room, it was so quiet.
« How … is he ? » I demanded with a weak voice.
« The doctors said you found him just in time. A few more minutes and he would have stayed dead. They reanimated him and took him in intensive care immediately. That’s when you passed out in the hallway apparently » she narrated as she queezed my hand.
Her explanation seemed about right from what I could remember.
« … Yes. I was … in shock » I expalined worn out.
« Of course you were » she said empathetic.
I just stood there, looking at his shadow for a while, then I came closer to see him, running my fingers through his face making sure it was him, as if I needed to prove to myself he was still alive. I felt his breath on my wrists and I could feel my muscles relax now. If he was breathing, then he was alive.
My whole body was aching due to the effects of the aftermath of such a shock.
I wanted to talk to him so badly, tell him how sorry I was for being such a despecable friend when he needed me.
Valerian brought a chair over to me so I could sit by his side as I held his hand.
I pulled her onto me and she was now sitting on my lap caressing my hair.
« Will he be alright ? » I demanded concerned.
« I’m not sure how well you can be after ... » she started with a downcast voice.
« But we’ll be there for him. I can’t stay away after this Ominis, this is too much to ask of me » she inquired.
« Nor would I want you to. Would it be ok if we moved back in the house ? So we could keep an eye on him ? » I demanded knowing she’d agree anyway.
« I was hoping you’d say that. And I’d be glad to. He lost so much weight he’ll need some proper food to get him back on track » she said with conviction.
« And … has he got … a mark around his … neck ? » I asked delicately.
« I heard the doctors say he has one yes. He’ll be scared for life » she confessed.
I made a sorrowful sound.
« I know what you’re thinking. But don’t feel guilty. Sebastian has been in a fragile state of mind since I met him, probably since he … the incicent with his uncle. He had ups and downs, and always will have. His guilt is eating him alive. And he’s got a long road ahead of him, a journey filled with life’s challenges. First he needs to recover and rest. Then we will have to remind him that we’re here for him and we won’t abandon him, because that’s what he’s most afraid of. He is convinced he’ll never find love, so we are all that he has. Then he’ll need to find a purpose in life once more. I think taking him off the case might have been harsh. Helping people drives him. And the problem was never his intentions, it’s how he achives his goal thus using dark magic. We’ll have to make sure he isn’t tempted by it until he is strong enough to resist it, and this time bring actual solutions. But in the end he’s the only one that can forgive himself, something he hasn’t been able to do yet » she declared smartly.
Once again she left me speechless. Her heart was so pure.
« Merlin knows I love you and I’m so glad you’re here » I told her feeling my heart beat for her.
She chuckled and I gave her a light kiss, unable to resist her.
« I was so worried about you too you know. We need to work on your anxiety problem » she told.
« You’re probably right, as usual » I admitted kissing her again warmly.
« How do you feel ? » she questioned with a more serious voice.
« Exhausted, in pain, relieved. So many emotions. But mostly still remorseful. And nothing can change that » I stated more firmly.
« I understand. I also feel guilty for not having spoken up sooner » she confessed.
« What do you mean ? » I querried.
« Well I knew isolation would drive him to depression, though I never thought he would go that far. I should have made you both have it out until you settled things once and for all » she said regretful.
Her words gave me an idea to help Sebastian find a purpose again. But it would have to wait until later, when he feels better.
« You’re always trying to look out for us Valerian.  Thank you. » I said grateful.
« If I didn’t, who would ? » she said with a smile.
I looked at his shadow again.
I actually felt like the one that didn’t learn from his mistakes. I stopped fighting for him, just like when he had killed his uncle. But Sebastian had leart from his errors. He had fled before, but he chose to stay and face the concequences of his actions this time. He chose to be honnest and to admit he had a problem, unlike before where he he would hide behind an excuse. I was the one who failed him.
I looked as his shadow, full of regrets.
It’s strange, when you’re about to lose someone you love, all their past sins can be wiped clean because you’re just so thankful they’re still alive.

We stayed there for hours by his side, until a nurse came in, telling us visiting hours were over, but one of us could stay.
« Could I be the one to stay ? » I demanded afectionately.
« Of course you’ll be the one staying » she exclaimed as if it were obvious.
« Please Valerian, I don’t want you to sleep alone tonight » I insisted.
« I’m safe now, you have the ring » she reminded.
« Please, I’ve been through enough for today. I’d prefer you’d be accompagnied. Why not spend sme time with Cassandra ? » I suggested.
« Fine, I’ll spend the night with her. You look out for Sebasian for me too, ok ? » she said softly.
« Ok » I replied lovingly.
My warm lips met hers, hugging her dearly before she disappeared.

I tried to stay awake as best as I could, watching over him.
In the middle of the night, I heard Sebastian make a strangled noise. He was waking up.
My heart was racing, I was so eager to talk to him.
He was now wide awake, trying to make out where he was and what was happening.
« Hey, Sebastian. You’re ok. I’m here. You don’t have to be afraid »I reassured him.
He was making guttural souds, unable to speak, moving his arms around, agitated, then grabbed my arm. I could sense his fear bouncing of him.
« Don’t try to talk. You might have to wait a few days until you can speak again. You’ve damaged your vocal cords for now, but it will heal. You’re at the hospital. I … found you ... before it was too late » I expressed downhearted.
I took his hand to make him feel safe.
This would prove to be a challenging conversation as he couldn’t talk and I was blind. It would make it difficult to know what he was feeling.
I could hear him breathe loudly in pain, probably in panic too.
« Calm down. It’s ok. I’m with you and I’m not going anywhere » I promised.
I placed a hand on his cheek, I had the feeling he was weeping, and I was right, so he was. He was in flood of tears. My heart crumbled to pieces thinking he was so terrified.
After a short while, he relaxed a bit, at least his body wasn’t wiggling around as much.
« You need to rest. Don’t worry. I’ll be there when you wake up, and in the days that will follow. Valerian and I are moving back into the house so you won’t be alone. Ok ? » I murmured to him regretfully.
He nodded. His breathing was slowing down, yet still loud. I guess he would have trouble breathing for a few days.
I felt him queese my hand.
« I’m sorry Sebastian, I should have been there for you. I hate myself for putting you through this » I said emotionally.
I felt his bandage around his other wrist as it brushed against my hand. That only reminded me I had also broken his wrist and hand duelling. Is that why he didn’t fight back ? Because he was depressed ? But this wasn’t a life or death situation, so why didn’t he ? Maybe he was just afraid. Afraid to use dark magic perhaps ? Or to hurt me ? Or just didn’t have the will to act any longer. How awful.

I called for a nurse who examined him breafly, and said he was in pain, so gave him another potion to soothe him. He then dozed off as I stood by his side, making sure he was asleep.
I sat on the archair on the other side of the bed trying the best I could to stay awake, but failed.

____________________________________________________________________

It had been a few days since Sebastian’s attempt. The doctors gave their approval and he could now leave the hospital. The good news was his hand was now healed. We apparated home him and I, greeted by Valerian.

They had both seen eachother a few times, she visited everyday after school. We agreed she should attend school so she could help us catch up. I chose to stay by his side, he was more important.
She narrated muggle stories everyday and he wouldn’t admit he actually enjoyed them.
We hadn’t told anyone but the headmistress what had happened as we had to give her a reason for missing classes.

Valerian gave Sebastian a warm welcome before she invited him to sit on a chair in the kitchen while she was cooking lunch.
Sebastian could now talk, but it was more like murmures as his voice wasn’t fully back yet.
It smelt amazing. I was so glad the three of us were back were we belonged.
« Are you hungry ? » asked Valerian to Sebastian.
« I am » he muttered.
« I’m sure it will be a nice change from the hospital food ! » I joked.
He didn’t react, or maybe he smiled ? Who knows. I couldn’t tell.
« I made your favourite ! cullen skink » declared Valerian. « I thought you might like something closer to home »
« Thanks » he replied weakly.
We sat around the table as Valerian served us.
The food was delicious. I for one always enjoyed my future wife’s cooking. So did Sebastian. He finished his bowl so quickly he asked for a second ration, which of course pleased Valerian. She made it her mission to make him put on weight again.
I felt sorry for him, he hadn’t eaten properly for too long. But I knew Valerian would help him gain his weight back in no time.
« Sebastian ,I know you are still tired, but we’ll have to have that conversation soon » I confessed. And by that conversation, I meant discussing his suicide attempt.
« I know » he just replied.

After our lunch, Sebastian went to his room for a rest, but I insisted he left the door half open so I could check on him. He didn’t object as he knew how worried I was, unable to get over the shock of almost loosing him forever.
While he took a nap, Valerian helped me study so I wouldn’t fall behind.
And a few hours later, Sebastian joined us in the living room.
« Did you manage to get some sleep ? » asked Valerian warmly.
« Yeah » he murmured.
He sat by my side on the sofa.
I looked at his shadow, grateful to be blind for once as I wouldn’t have to see his scar everyday as a reminder he almost died, or did die and come back to life.
« So I’ll be leaving now. You two enjoy your boys night together » declared Valerian.
« What ? You’re leaving ? You didn’t warn me about this ! » I stated startled.
« I know. And I’ll be fine. I’ll be at school with Cassandra if you need anything » precised Valerian.
She planted a kiss on my lips and said goodbye to Sebastian before she disappeared.

I can only imagine she left so we could talk things through.
« It’s been a while since our last boys night ! » I said not sure how to start the conversation.
« I believe last time was when we were down at the pub with Edmund, when he gave you sex advice » replied Sebastian.
« You’re right, I remember » I chuckled.
Then there was an akward silence.
« I guess you’re expecting to have that conversation now » told Sebastian despondent.
« Only if you want to. Do you feel ready for it ? » I demanded concerned.
« I guess we’ll have to have it at some point, so now’s as good as any time » he replied cheerless.
I nodded.
« I reckon you wanna know why I did it  ? » he demanded.
My heart was racing. I feard what he might say.
« I do » I admitted.
I heard him sigh.
« I feel no longer of use, I asked myself why was I still here if I had no purpose in life ? I have been feeling empty inside ever since my sister died. I thought about Anne, it was also her birthday and how much I missed her. And I just wanted to see her again. And my parents too » he orated crestfallen.
There was a moment of silence. I wasn’t sure how I should react. I was still angry at him in a way. I wanted to tell him how selfish he was for wanting to end his life, not thinking about me or Valerian. We are his family after all !
« The day of your birthday, as I woke up, I felt something was wrong. Valerian thought I was ill. My instinct were trying to warn me about you I believe. I was sitting in the classroom, wondering what the hell I was doing here instead of spending the day with you. I told Valerian I couldn’t do it, you were my friend despite everything. So I sneaked out the room and came here. I called your name, but had no answer. I was searching for your shadow, but didn’t find anything. I thought you might have gone out in the garden. And on my way out, I bumped into your … into you. This situation was hard to make out for me. I couldn’t see you, yet you were there. I was so confused and frightened. I had to put two and two together to figure out what you had done. I immediately cast a spell to cut the rope. And I kept calling your name, hoping you would answer, but I knew you were dead because I couldn’t see your shadow, just like Anne. The thought of you dead … was … unbearable. My heart was agonizing. I remember crying uncontrollably. But I refused to accept you were dead. SO I apparated us to hospital, crying desperately for help. Shadows pulled me away as others attended to you, trying to bring you back to life. I had to stand there and all I could do was watch, feeling useless. Meanwhile I had another panic attack and I got to see your shadow’s light fade in as I passed out unable to control my breathing » I confessed heartbroken.
« Ominis, I’m sorry. I never meant to put you through so much pain. I thought … you were done with me. I had betrayed your trust, and I knew there would be a price to pay. When you said you needed some time and take your distances, it also broke my heart, though I deserved it. And my thoughts became darker with every passing day, until the day of my birthday, where I simply couldn’t take it anymore. I was in despair, and I had no one to turn to. I thought killing myself was the answer to everyone’s problem. You wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore and then you could live happily ever after with Valerian, finally free to marry her as you wouldn’t have to keep my secret for my sake. I would reunite with my family, putting an end to that endless cycle of hatred and suffering in my heart. So it was a win win situation » he disclosed in desolation.
« How could you say that ?! How could you believe I could ever be happy again if you were gone ? Sebastian, you’re my brother. And brother’s fight, then they make up. I just needed time so let go of my anger first, then forgive you once more. Family don’t give up on eachother so easily. I’m sorry you thought I gave up on you. I … regret my despecable attitude towards you. I shouldn’t have ignored you all this time. And for that I am truly sorry » I said in tears and heavy-hearted.
I could hear him sniff. He was also in tears, but of relief.
I had probably said what he needed to hear. Valerian was right, abandon was what he was most afraid of.
« Do you still feal the need to … harm yourself ? » I asked delicately.
I needed to make sure he was safe now.
« Will you stay with me ? Unil I get myself out of this mess ? » begged Sebastian frightfully.
« I will. And so will Valerian » I vowed.
« I know you won’t always be there Ominis. I just need more time to … figure out how to get better » he explained.
« I know. But we’ll always be together. We’re going to be the legendary Sebminis team. So you need to focus on that. We have a bright future ahead of us » I said enthousiastically trying to give him purpose.
« Yes, maybe » he replied not sounding too convinced.
I guess this would take time.
« I know you’re afraid to be abandoned because you’ve lost so much already. But you mustn’t let fear drive you. You have so much to offer the world Sebastian » I declared deeply.
« It’s easy for you to say, you have Valerian » he retorted bitterly.
« And you have me and Valerian. We both love you. And that won’t fade away, love is forever  » I expressed serenely.
« I know. I’m sorry » he said more calmly.
« Sebastian, I need you to tell me the truth, please. Do you still feel the need to end your life ? » I insisted.
« N-No. It was a momentary feeling. And I know my word will probably be worthless now. I also need to know if you can forgive me Ominis ? For betraying your trust ? » he asked regretful.
I knew how much he needed my forgivness. To be honnest, I didn’t even feel angry anymore. I was just glad he was alive and safe. I didn’t know what I would do without him. I was his rock, and he was mine along with Valerian.
« Of course I forgive you. I always do. But Sebastian, deep in your heart, you know it’s not my forgivness alone you seek. It’s yours. You need to find a way to gorgive yourself if you truly want to move on with your life. This is your true redemption » I said affectionately.
I heard him sniff again.
« You’re right. But I can’t. I still hate myself too much for that. Maybe I just need more time » he thought.
I kept quiet as I knew more time wouldn’t change anything. But he was too fragile to hear it for now.
« I need you to promise me you won’t try and harm yourself again Sebastian. If you have dark thoughts, then come to me or Valerian. I you feel you are drawn to dark magic, then tell us, we’ll help you keep you in check. You’re not alone » I reminded him as I wipped my tears.
« I know my word is meaningless to you, but I promise nonetheless » he vowed.
« Your actions will speak more than your words. I’m convinced you can do this » I told him giving him hope.
« Thank you Ominis » he said gratefully.
I smiled.
« Oh, one last thing, I know you’ve been drinking a lot while you were … depressed. I understand why you did it, but it’s over now. We are here and we’ve made sure this house was alcohool free. No more drinking, ok ? » I told firmly.
« Yes » he answered with conviction.
I gave him a warm hug, grateful I got to do it again.
« I’m so pleased you’re still alive my brother. I thank Merlin for your this second chance. Please don’t waist it » I said to his ear.
« I’ll try my best » he revealed.
I then let go of him.
« You’d better. Because I need you as my best man at my wedding » I affirmed on a brither note.
« Your best man ? Really ? » he said astouned.
« Come on, you knew I would ask you ! » I joked.
« I thought so yes, but that was before I screwed up » he avowed.
We both remained silent for a short while.
« By the way, you’re wrong you know. You aren’t useless at all. Because I need you, mostly because I’m afraid I might faint in stress on my wedding day and I need you to keep me on my toes and my mind sharp » I jested.
We both laughed because there was a lot of truth in my words.
« You can count on me » he added on a more joyful note.
« Sebastian, I don’t know what I’d do without you. And not only because I’m blind. You are always there for me. I know I can always count on you. Don’t forget that » I said considerately.
He made a thankful noise.
« So, what would you like to do for our first boy’s night in a while ? » I demanded hoping he’ll have suggestions.
« I’m not sure. Something cheerful. » he suggested.
That’s when I remembered I had something for him.
« I have an idea ! I kept something for you. I found it in my bedroom here. It was probably your parents’. Give me a second. I’ll get it for you » I urged as I went to m bedroom and back quickly.
« I found this. Edmund told me there were notes from your sister » I expalined.
« You mean like a diary ? » he demanded.
« I don’t know. I can’t read. You tell me » I answered.
I head him open it, probably skim reading to know what it was about.
« It’s all of Anne’s memories ! She wrote them down ! » he shouted.
« Memories ? Of what ? » I demanded.
« Of us ! » he replied joyfully.
I shouldn’t be so surprised, after all Anne spent a lot of time writting when she was ill. Maybe that’s what she was doing.
« Read me one, please » I asked all exited to hear about it.
« Oh ! I’ve got a good one there ! This was when we were in our first year at Hogwarts. Today I got to talk to Ominis thanks to Sebastian who bonded with him. He made things easier for me to get closer to him. He is so cute and true to himself it’s adorable ! My eyes are st on him now » he joked as he impersonated his sister.
« She did not write that ! » I said as I was laughing.
« She so did ! And she added a few hearts around the note writng both your names in it ! » he teased.
« You just inveted that ! » I replied as I was sure he was just joking.
« I most certainly did not ! She was in love with you, remember I told you ? » he said as he chuckled.
And we both laughed as we reminiced the past.

We spent the rest of the evening reading her journal, bringing back good memories from our childhood. Fortunately this diary stopped by the end of her third year, avoiding any unpleasantness from our fourth year.
She talked about me a lot, I didn’t realise how in love she was with me.
She talked about her parents’ death too.
But most of her memories were happy ones fortunately.
« What do you think she’d say now if she saw us ? » Sebastian demanded innocently.
« She’d say you’re an idiot for trying to end your life, and would scold you for hours. And then she’d have a go at me saying I’m a fool for having ignored you for days. Thinking back, she was always the one to keep us in check » I admitted.
« And now that role was bestoved on Valerian, thank Merlin  » he confessed.
We both laughed.
« Yeah. True » I agreed.
« Thanks for that. I needed this » he declared appreciative.
« Thank Anne. Even after her death she’s still looking out for us ! » I exclaimed.
« It seems that way yes. By the way, I haven’t read the news in a while, what’s going on thse days ? I’d thought Valerian would be rid of her mark by now » he said amazed.
« As you can imagine there were no more killings, the faceless monster had suddenly vanished, so the the Daily Mail says. Father was loosing his credibility now the monster was gone, people started to believe he took advantage of the situation to humiliate muggle-borns, and so many have renounced their magic because of the ministry. And strangely enough, there are still muggle-borns being murdured, their face mutilated » I described.
« What ? But we have control now on the faceless monster. How is that even possible ? » asked Sebastian astouned.
« Father probably didn’t appreciate losing his credibility and power, so the order’s doing the dirty work themselves for now so people will keep believing there is a faceless monster. They convinced people the monster was now more fierce in his attacks, mutilating his victims’ faces instead of stealing them » I explained.
« These rechid scum bags ! Then that’s proof they are the ones murduring people ! » he blurted.
« Probably. Miss Parkes thinks we have a good chance now of arresting them. I am supposed to make a demonstration with the ring summoning the faceless monster soon at the ministry, then they should ask forth the suspects as they will have to reveal their tatoo » I advocated.
« I see. And that will lead them straight to your father and brother, because Marvolo’s the one who inherited the ring. Well, that’s good news in deed. Do you think Marvolo suspects anything ? » he expressed sounding pleased.
« I don’t believe so. But we can’t be too careful. He is a skilled dark wizard and he must be freaking out now that his ring is missing. I’m eager to get this over with, then I can finally be free of their blackmail, free to live the life that I want, free to marry the love of my life » I said in relief.
« I’m sorry Ominis. I should have never doubted our friendship. You sacrificed so much to keep me safe. I’m truly grateful » he thanked.
« I know. Now that the situation had calmed down a bit, Valerian would like to throw an engagment party. I thought we could have it here, if you don’t mind » I querried.
« No, I’d be glad to » he answered.
« Great » I responded.
« So who’s invited ? » he demanded.
« Not too many peole. You obviously, her parents, Edmund, Cassandra, Mrs Weasley, Natsaï, and some French friends of hers » I listed.
« And you call that a small comitty party ? » he joked.
We both laughed.
« When then ? » he questioned.
« Well, that’s up to you. We want you to feel better and comfortable enough before the house is crowded with people » I confessed.
« It’s ok. I’ll be fine. You both deserve this. Let me organise it for you » he suggested.
« You’ll have to see with the boss, I’m just a spectator » I jested.
« Then I’ll see the details with her tomorrow » he finished.
I could just imagine how crazy this engagment party could turn out to be if Sebastian and Valerian both worked together. That should be interesting.

We spent the rest of the night just chatting on the sofa as Nathara joined us later.
And I cherrished this moment, thankful to spend moments like these with my brother, planning our future.